Title: The fire in her eyes (One-Shot)
Set during series 8.
Characters/Pairings: Ros/Lucas, mentions of Lucas/Sarah
Genre: Friendship, Angst
Rating: K
Word Count : 498
Disclaimer : I do not own Spooks
A/N: Written for the prompt "Something of that fire burns still" at fictionland on LJ. I didn't know if I should publish it because I honestly don't feel satisfied about it. Writing 500 words stories for challenges is definitely not my thing. I need a real plot and room for story development if I want to feel satisfied with my stories... Anyway, I hope you won't hate it too much. I have to write two stories so a companion piece to this should be written in the next few days. I don't really think about this as AU but I don't really know where to set it in canon. I guess I would say it's between 8.3 and 8.4/8.5 when Ros withdraws into herself and I imagine they'd be worried about her.
I've got some "real fic" on the way though, and for 'Countdown' readers, I'm not letting you down, the next chapter is almost finished! :) xx
"The fire in her eyes"
He could tell when he looked at her. She was not the woman she used to be. She was broken. Damaged goods. There was no point in denying it. But he knew. They could think whatever they wanted, all the others. They could say she was only made of ice now, and there was no going back, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew she still had it in her. The fire, the life. She didn't want to let it out, she was too scared, but he could tell it was there. Because when she looked him in the eye she couldn't help but show him what others couldn't see. Or maybe it was just because he was the only one who looked closely enough to see it. She was still alive. She was stronger than they thought, she was stronger than she thought she was. She was still alive. No one, nothing could take it from her. If only she'd let him show her that… If only she didn't take a step back every time he thought he could finally get close to her.
Of course his being with Sarah didn't exactly help. She hated the woman. It had driven them apart. Not that they'd ever been that close. Just colleagues, friends at the most. But even if he didn't know her before, he had the feeling that it was as close as Ros Myers was ready to get to someone. Still, sometimes he found himself hoping the door would open a bit more. But he was willing to be patient. He would wait for as long as it would take for her to come back to life. Because he believed in her even if no one else did. It would be hard and she might be tempted to give up, but he wouldn't let her. They might say she'd never recover from what life put her through, they might consider her dead already and talk about her in past tense, but he wouldn't let it happen. She was worth it, even if she wanted everyone, including him, to believe she wasn't. He wanted to tell her that he too blamed himself for so many things, that in time she'd feel better, but he knew she wouldn't believe him and would only push him further away.
So he had to pretend to accept what she wanted, for now at least. He would treat her as he always had. He'd be waiting for the real her to come back. And he knew, he knew she would. And then he'd catch her and he'd make sure she wouldn't fall. Because only he really knew what it felt like to be dead inside; to want death to come and end your sufferings all the while hoping that maybe someday you'd be able to feel life run through your veins again. But she wasn't beaten yet. He could see it in her eyes. Deep inside, the fire was still burning.
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xx