Ratrace Chapter 1: Yes, I do enjoy torturing Rosto, a song of the lioness fanfic

i·dyl·lic adj

1. serenely beautiful, untroubled, and happy

2. like an idyll, especially in having a simple, unspoiled, and especially rural charm

noc·turne n

1. a musical composition, especially for the piano, that suggests a tranquil, dreamy mood.

2. a painting of a night scene

Disclaimed!!

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Alanna sighed once more and rested her head on her husband's shoulder. "Well then, what do you propose we do? It's been months since we've done something and I'm bored."

George chuckled slightly and laced his fingers with hers. "You're always bored, lass." He turned to Raoul. "Fickle as a cat, this one is. Perhaps I should buy her a toy mouse to keep her attention, if only for a few moments."

As the short bout of laughter in the room died down, Jon's eyes lit up. "I have an idea."

- - -

She was trying hard to see the good in this situation. They were driving in her truck, in the middle of nowhere (at least nowhere she knew or had ever desired to be), the ride seemed more like some stupid stunt on TV with ever passing second with all of the horrible driving that was going on, and he was singing.

"Oh, you can watch me walk if you want to, want to. I betcha want me back now, don't you, don't you? I'm about to show you just how missin'—hey! You turned it off!"

"So why are we doing this again?" Neal glanced at her, before looking back at the road.

"Because, Keladry, it is customary for at least a few members of a family to meet when at a family reunion." Because he was concentrating on his driving and on the road, Neal missed the glare that she shot him.

"But why am I doing this? The only person I know in your family is you yourself." The truck swerved, almost running into the other lane. "Neal, I swear, if you don't improve your driving in the next second, I will personally turn this truck around and force you to go to that gas station we saw back there and spend the whole day chatting with the woman behind the counter."

He cringed. Not only was the service station covered in grime and crawling with every possible disease imaginable, the cashier seemed extremely lonely. As he tried to pay, she somehow kept him at the counter for seven minutes, and had attempted to flirt the entire time.

"Yes, Mother," he mumbled, before jerking the truck to a hard right then left, barely avoiding a crash with a speed limit sign. "And you're coming because my loving father, when he informed me that I was coming to this idiotic thing, specifically said that I was to bring a lady friend."

"But we're not dating. And we're definitely not engaged."

"You must have missed the wedding then, dear. A pity; the ceremony was exquisite. Anyway, you're the only girl that wouldn't get the wrong idea."

Kel rolled her eyes. "Uh huh, sure. I'll bet you asked every girl, single or not, in the county before even considering your best friend."

He gave her a disdainful look and succeeded in appearing superior until he broke down and said, "Aw, so what if I did?"

A plastic grocery bag sat on the road. Neal tried to veer left, then right to miss it. Kel screamed as the truck went off the road and headed towards a ditch. At the last moment, he brought it back onto the road. "Whoops. Sorry, thought it was a dog. Anyway, the important thing is that someone, you, said yes." Kel barely managed to nod.

"Neal," she said when she was finally able to catch her breath, "when this is over, I am going to kill you ten times over, drive you over with a lawn mower, and kill you ten more times." He simply nodded and turned the music back on.

They drove into town, and ten bootlegger's turns later, Kel and Neal stared up at a large house on a hill.

"Huh. It seems smaller than it did last time." Kel gaped at him. The house was a mansion, very different from the one-story ranch house she grew up in. "Well, c'mon Kel. Let's go."

- - -

Ug. What had woken him up? Whatever it was, he was going to kill it. A ringing. Ringing…

The telephone.

Shit.

"Aniki, can you get that?" he called.

"Go to hell." Was she still mad about that?

"C'mon, I was asleep! You know not to ask me things while I'm asleep."

"It was four in the fucking afternoon! Why the hell would you still be asleep?" Yup. She was still mad.

"Cooper?"

"She's out back gardening. Get off your lazy ass and get it yourself!" Still groggy, Rosto reached over to the nightstand and lifted the phone.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" The voice was sharp, piercing, demanding, and loud.

"Rosto." If this woman was going to wake him up, she wasn't going to get eloquent answers.

"I must have the wrong number. Goodbye." It went off with a click.

"Right," he said, staring at the phone. He was about to set it back down when it rang again. "Hello?"

"Who is this?" It was the same woman.

"Rosto." Before she could respond, he added, "Do you need Aniki or Beka?"

"Rebakah, please." He had no idea that the word "please" could convey such disdain.

"Sure. She's out back, lemme go get her." He slowly got to his feet. Why the hell did they put phones in everyone's rooms? It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it just seemed like a waste of needed money. And, of course, it turned him into the freaking butler.

Rosto walked out to the garden, where a dirt-covered Beka was weeding. "Cooper. Phone."

She looked up, and stared at him. Just stared. Damn, those eyes were freaky in the morning light. Finally, she sighed. "Step closer." As soon as he did, she wiped mud off of her hands onto his new white tee-shirt.

Shit.

Today was not his day, or maybe the fates were simply trying to have some fun. Oh, yeah, big fun, loads of laughs.

"Yeah? Oh, Mrs. Haryse, hello. No ma'am, Rosto—he's just the, ah, neighbor. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. N—Thank you, ma'am." He watched her with interest. Her happy mood seemed to be diminishing with every passing second. "I—yes. I'll be sure to do so, ma'am." She handed the phone back.

"Anything interesting?"

"No." Delightful. She seemed to be mad at him, too. Then again, he mused, she always seemed to be mad at him about something. And he did try to kiss her again not even twelve hours ago.

Rosto smiled sweetly. "Go take a shower, then, love. You're covered head to toe in mud, and very soon you will reek." She cursed at him on her way inside and kicked him in the shins.

Lovely, just lovely.

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