The apartment was quiet. The words still hung in the air like a grey cloud. "I think we should break up."

Kaoru stood there, her heart breaking into pieces. As she turned to the door she hoped from somewhere deep inside he would tell her to stop, grab hold of her and realize how important she was. But he didn't. He stood there, his hands in his pockets, his red bangs covering those amber eyes she loved so much. She figured it was better, seeing those eyes would make her heart break even more. She felt hurt and betrayed now. He had just written off three years of their lives.

She had felt him distancing himself from her. It started a few weeks ago when his ex-wife had appeared out of nowhere. He had started spending less time with her until today when he had called her and asked her to come over so they could talk. Even as she got ready to head to his apartment the fear in her heart had begun to form. She knew this wasn't the kind of talk she wanted, but she didn't know what to do.

--

Kaoru, I don't know how to say this and it breaks my heart to have to, but I think we should break up."

Had she heard him right? Break up?

"What do you mean, Kenshin?"

"I just don't know about us anymore. I think we need some time apart. I need to sort out things that I have been feeling."

Tomoe.

She didn't even need to say it out loud to know.

"I'm sorry Kaoru."

--

She opened the door and stepped out. She wanted to turn back, to look at him, but she kept going. And as she slowly closed the door she knew this was it. She stood there, in the hall outside his apartment, motionless. The sobs begin to take over her. "How could this happen," she thought. "How could this happen to us?"

He heard her cries from inside. He wanted to go out to her, to hold her and let her know all the things he needed to say, but he didn't. He didn't deserve her and as much as he wanted to hold her in his arms he knew she was better off without him. They both stood still, time holding them and pride forcing them to move on.

She began to walk down the hall. She stepped inside the elevator, hesitantly pushing the button to the first floor. They had been through so much together, how on earth did they end up at this point?

She remembered the first time she met him. He was quiet, but his mysterious personality had captivated her; she was drawn to him instantly. They spent that whole night together, slowly secluding themselves from the group they were in. She had known then that he was someone worth holding onto, but now she felt broken.

The elevator door opened and she slowly stepped out. Her heart hoped he would appear as she turned to double doors that would lead her away from her, but no one was coming. The glass doors closed behind her as she stood on the sidewalk. At that moment the door to her life with him had abruptly closed as well.

Kenshin stood in the apartment, his thoughts racing. What the hell was he thinking?

Tomoe wasn't what he wanted. How could he have even though of going back to Tomoe? The woman of his dreams was right before him and he had just broken her heart.

He raced down the hall to the elevator, his heart racing with regret. He understood what had happened. He was an idiot to have believed he was unworthy of her. She was what he wanted, and what he needed. He ran to the elevator and saw the flashing numbers going down.

He rushed down the stairs and into the lobby. He had to catch her, he had to tell her he was a fool. He ran out into the street, looking everywhere for the raven black hair, but she was gone. He stood, in silence, the rain falling as he felt the hole in his heart forming with his stupidity.

He tried for days to get a hold of her, but she was gone.

--

The taxi drove as Kaoru looked out the window. She was leaving that life behind her now.

He hadn't even come after her. Her heart broke at the thought they he may have never even loved her. Maybe she had always been a replacement for Tomoe, a temporary fix to the hole in his heart.

She was going to a place that would wipe away the memory of him. Or at least she hoped it would wipe away the memory of him. She needed more than anything to get rid of his presence.

The three years they had spent together had changed her, he had made her feel strong and capable. He had showed her a strength inside herself she never felt was possible and then without even asking he had taken his love away from her. She felt cheated and weak, and she knew that it was time for her to let him go, though she had no idea how.

She sat looking out the rain spattered window, remembering his smile, and his touch, the way he held her and made her come alive. She longed for him then, and cried as the memories flooded back to her.

--

Kenshin put the phone down for the last time. He had tried for days to get a hold of her, to no avail. He assumed she was ignoring him. He would just have to wait it out. He sat forward on the couch, his head in his hands.

"How could I have been such an idiot?"

The sorrow was visible as the amber in his eyes turned shimmering violet as tears threatened to break through. He was weak without her. Days had passed since he last felt hungry and sleep was something he was not even sure he was capable of anymore.

The phone rang and his heart stopped at the thought that it might be her. He checked the caller ID and saw that it was Sano.

The voice on the other end spoke cautiously, "Hey Kenshin, I've been trying to reach you. How about we go grab a cup of coffee?"

He answered with a sorrowful, "Sure."

All was quiet as the two men walked down the street. Kenshin clung to the cup of coffee in his hands as though it would warm the cold empty feeling he had without Kaoru.

Kenshin turned to Sano, "Do you know where she is? I've been trying to get a hold of her and I can't."

His friend began to speak, but paused.

"Sano, what is it? Everyone's ignoring me. What the hell is going on?"

He put his hand on his friend's shoulder as he begin to speak, "Kenshin, she left for France a few days ago..."

His heart sank. He had thought she was ignoring him, not that she had left him behind. They stopped walking and sat down at a café.

"Look Kenshin, I'm sorry no one told you she left."

Kenshin shook his head, "How do I get her back Sano?"

"I don't know that you can, Kenshin. She was pretty messed up when she left. I don't even know exactly where she was going. I know she talked to Megumi, but other than that we don't know much of anything."

"I was wrong, Sano, I let memories of Tomoe and I take over what in my heart I felt for Kaoru. Now I don't even have a chance to say I'm sorry. I can't lose her.

"I know, Kenshin…"

--

Kaoru closed her eyes as she felt the taxi come to a stop. It was time for her to enter this world. "This is it," she thought to herself, "this is where I do everything I was ever afraid to do."

She was finally free; able to do whatever her heart pleased. But as she looked out to the world in front of her she was overtaken with grief. She wished he were beside her, sharing in the beauty with her. It was going to take a long time for her to be free.

--

Kenshin sat up in bed. The days were much longer now, as were the nights. He lay awake, an image of her in his head. He thought back to the first time he met her. She was so lively, so full of passion. He was quiet around her, not for fear of her, but because he didn't want to do anything that would make her stop. He fell in love with her smile that night.

Outside the city was already moving. He looked at the clock to see how much longer he had to lie there. It showed 4:43 a.m., only seventeen more minutes. He might as well get up now. No use in thinking about her more than necessary.

He got ready, and by six was out the door for work. He paused outside the doors to the lobby and glanced up to the sun rising. How he wished there was just one more day of rain. He smirked at the bitter pessimism that had taken over him. He weighed the options of taking a taxi and decided to walk. It appeared today was already going to be long.

The cars were rushing by, vendors standing on the street corners. He walked by the park and saw a couple on the bench, hands entwined and so close they were almost one. He waited at the cross walk as he thought about the couple. "What makes people sit so close, when there is so much room on either end?" He smiled at the question as the light changed, "Maybe we had something after all."

He stopped as he realized what he had said and his heart tore open at the thought. They had both felt it, a feeling so undeniable but fierce and intimidating at the same time. He had always been a bit afraid to feel it and now when he knew he wanted and needed it he had lost it altogether.

--

Kaoru sat on the edge of the bed. The hotel was spacious, and charming. She was in France, finally away from that forsaken town. Wasn't this what she wanted? To be free of the man who had sucked her into his life and made her breathless?

For so long she had felt so engrossed by him. Part of her wanting to drown in him and another fearing that he would strangle her if she fell to far into his love. He said he loved her fragility. All these years she thought she was the strong one. How he made her feel like a fool.

All in one moment everything she had thought her life was supposed to be was shattered into tiny pieces. Why could she not let him go? After everything he had done to her she still wanted to run back to his embrace.

Fear.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She was afraid of being alone. She really was weak and fragile. What a fool. She cried then. Lying back on the thick comforter she cried until she sleep took over her body. He took her innocence and shattered her heart. And even now, in the many miles of distant, he still had control over her heart.

She woke up the next morning; tear stained face puffy from her crying the night before.

"You are a bloody mess, Kaoru," she thought to herself, disappointment in her voice. She needed to get out and breathe.

After a shower and a quick breakfast she hesitantly made her way out onto the sidewalk in front of the hotel. She was where she had always dreamt of being, and she would be damned if she didn't suck it up and get back to life. Oh, how much easier those words were to think, than to actually put into action.

The morning was crisp. It was a perfect season in France, the weather was cool and the black scarf wrapped around her delicate neck blocked the chill of the breeze. She had no idea where she was heading. In reality, she was terrified of being all alone in this place. But she had spent too much time being afraid and broken, and she was determined to make it on her own. No matter how long it took.

Paris was nothing like she could have imagined. The sky was cloudy as she walked down the quiet street. Half of her just wanted to turn around and crawl back into bed, but her mind was too awake for that. Thoughts of home…of friends…and of him overtook her.

She was aching to be able to forget him and gain back her strength, but she was different without him. Everything she once imagined she would be was erased without her permission and now she was stuck in a place of confusion trying to find a new path for herself.

The familiar smell of rain in the air made Kaoru long for someone beside her. The scent reminded her of her father and instantly overwhelmed her. It was full of magic and of love. It was at that moment she realized she was completely alone for the first time in her life. Her body began to tremble as she struggled to contain her tears.

She walked to a bench and placed her face in her hands. She realized now how much she had truly lost herself. Her father had been her strength and her shield and though she loved that about him, she had never trusted herself enough to be on her own. Now with Kenshin behind her as well she saw how much she truly had left behind.

Her friends would always be her home, but now she sensed that her heart had always been in Paris. The rain embraced her as it fell, and Paris welcomed her home as though she had only journeyed away for a while. Even in the midst of all her planning Kaoru could never have planned to fall in love with such a man, but now all she could was let the rain embrace as she cried for everything she had lost.