"But, I can change"
You know it untrue, and it hurts, hurts more than anything you have experienced. That sharp, stabbing pain in your chest where doctors say you have something called a heart. But you cannot possibly have one anymore, if you ever had one to begin with. You can't remember. Because of her the left side of your chest is a jagged, bleeding hole radiating pain down to your fingers, your toes, up to your ears. She has hurt you so badly you know you will never be able to love again, but living a life of numbing nothingness has to be better than the pain you feel when you are with her.
Sure, there was pleasure as well. The sweetest , most sincere , overwhelmingly addicting pleasure , like falling into a cloud of flower petals at a million miles an hour, gentle yet exhilarating. When she touched you, kissed you, marked you as hers, you felt like the luckiest girl in the world, like you could do anything.
But all the pleasure in the world wasn't worth the pain that would surely follow.
That was the price you paid when you fell in love with someone as damaged as her, someone who had been beaten and broken down so many times she had been sure she would never be whole again.
But you tried, oh God you tried so hard put the pieces back together.
You used your love, your soul, your sanity as a desperate adhesive, frantically picking up her pieces and pressing them back into her.
But she just took and took, and no matter how much of yourself you gave her, it wasn't enough. It would never be enough, your love. You would never be enough.
And it killed you inside, the thought of giving up, of leaving her.
But you had to .
For you.
For her.
And while neither of you felt like you would ever feel again ,maybe, just maybe,
By letting go of each other
You could.