AN/ This is NOT a happy story. This is major angst and may be triggering. Includes torture, swearing and something else that I won't reveal here. Be warned but enjoy. This is my longest fic so far :)

A knock at their motel room startled the boys. They weren't expecting visitors. Dean indicated that Sam should open the door. Sam made his way to the door and opened it to reveal someone they never guessed they would see again.

"Surprised brother?" Adam drawled out sarcastically.

"What?" Dean and Sam exclaimed in sync.

"We have so much to catch up on," Adam snapped, his voice set into a grimace. They all knew this would be a long night.

"How long did it make you to decide that decision Dean? You know the one with Death and how you could choose one of us. I saw it, the whole exchange. They revelled in showing it to me. What, a few seconds? All you truly cared about was Sam. I thought you were meant to be big on this family thing. I guess not,"

"I did care Adam; there were just other things on our plate,"

"More important than a half brother?"

"Adam..."

"No, none of bullshit. I don't care anymore. I don't have any part left to care in me. Do you know what they did? Do you know what I had to live through? Do you know what they did? Especially when Sam and his soul disappeared. I was the only plaything they had. I died a thousand times in there. A snap of fingers and I would be whole again! It was funny though, watching the two brothers connect over one thing. A bit like you two actually. If hunting had never happened to you, you would barely talk. That's why you were the original vessels. God, I was so stupid to believe that someone actually cared for me. To think the Zachariah would bring my mum back. To think you would save me," Adam trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. Dean stepped forward to; well Dean didn't know what he could do. This guy, his brother, wasn't Sam. Yet he was still related. Dad would have wanted him to look after Adam and he had let him rot in hell. Dean thought his time was bad, but to have Lucifer and Michael use you as a plaything. Dean couldn't begin to comprehend what it would feel like.

Luckily his decision was decided for him. Adam stepped backwards a few steps, widening the gap between himself and his so-called brothers. "Don't come any closer," Adam's voice trembled, his whole body shaking. He was afraid of these men. They were human copies of Lucifer and Michael. Adam winced, his head becoming full of the images from hell. He clutched his head, desperate for their mocking voices to go away. Falling to his knees, he screamed. Images of his mum dying, of his torture, of how no-one would ever come and save him because he was a worthless 'son of a bitch' filled his head. "Stop!" he screamed, his voice laced with pain, "Please, please stop."

"Adam," Sam spoke gently, closing the gap between them, with his hand stretched out.

"No!" Adam yelled, still on his knees. He just wanted the voices to be quite. Sam continued walking towards him, Dean following close behind. "No!" Adam screamed once again, this time drawing a gun and pointing it towards Sam. He arms were shaking, so was his hands. In fact, his whole body was shaking and one hand was still held up to his head, like he could block the voices.

"Son of a bitch," Dean mumbled. Adam looked on at him with wide eyes and lifted the gun up higher, aiming at Sam's head.

"Stay away or I swear to god I will shoot," he threatened, yet his voice was trembling. Worthless son of a bitch. "I will, don't think I won't. See hell has changed me and now all I can hear are these fucking voices in my head."

"I know Adam, I was in there too," Sam comforting, his hands held up in a surrender position. Adam snorted.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I saw everything. You got this fucking dam up to stop all the memories of hell. You can't remember anything and even if you can, they're just cracks. You have no idea what this feels like!" Adam spat out, voice laced with venom but underneath all that, hurt, betrayal. The voices intensified in his head. Pathetic worthless human, you actually believed we wanted to help you. "No," moaned Adam, gun lowering. Our father created you so he had something to laugh at. We were his children, you were the entertainment. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before edging closer, knowing that they had failed their brother many times, but not this time. Oh you poor mother died, how would you like to see it again and again and again for infinity? Dropping the gun, Adam curled up into a ball, trying to block everything out. Look here she is, here's your darling mother. You thought she was in heaven; she's in hell with us. "No," Adam moaned again, but with a whole lot less conviction. Even your so-called family don't want you. Dean would rather save Sam and then his soul than you. Sam was glad that you were the vessel for Michael. He was glad that YOU fell into the cage, rather than Dean. "It was true though, wasn't it?" Adam mumbled, not loud enough for Dean or Sam to hear but they wouldn't understand what he meant anyway. The whip hit down, time and time again, but Adam could see they were getting bored of this torture. It was time for another little game.

"Adam?" Dean asked, looking down at his youngest brother. "Snap out of it!" He yelled, reaching down to shake Adam. Dean was scared, he hated seeing this. He didn't mean to be harsh; it was just Dean's natural instinct. Sam glared at his older brother yet suddenly he understood. This was his younger brother, like how he was Dean's. He was an older brother to someone know and he'd better start acting like it.

"Adam," Sam comforted, crouching down next to the damaged teen. He stretched his hand out and gently grabbed Adam's shoulder hoping to give him comfort. Adam's reaction wasn't what Sam expected.

Adam screamed, flinching and twisting away from Sam. Lucifer grabbed his shoulder, in what was usually a comforting gesture but Lucifer was wearing a sick twisted smile as he clenched down harder and harder. Adam felt his bone snap and twist but he was powerless against the fallen angel. Pulling his hand back, Lucifer smiled at his felt a chunk of flesh come off too. With one touch, the wound healed itself back up but Adam could still feel the bone breaking in his mind. Michael smiled, seeing what his brother's game was. He lifted his hand to Adam's other shoulder and repeated the actions of his brother before healing him. They did this time and time again ensuring that if he ever got out, like Sam, he would never be able to be comforted in that way again. "Jesus Adam, what have they done to you?" Dean whispered, crouching down next to Sam who had withdrawn his hand in fear of damaging the boy even more. He really wanted to hug the teen but he couldn't be sure how he would react. It might be worse than his reaction to a hand on the shoulder.

Michael was bored of breaking and healing the human's shoulder. That wasn't the only comfort the mongrels could give to each other. Smirking, he made his way over to the figure on the floor. Lucifer watched his every step, Michael's smirk showing him that a new game had been formed. He pulled Adam up off the floor and hugged him. Adam was surprised before he felt the pain of broken ribs again. As the hug became tighter and tighter. He would have screamed but he found breathing had become increasingly difficult. As Michael let him go, he fell to the floor and started coughing up blood. The crimson liquid no longer startled or scared him like it used to. Lucifer smirked at Michael. "Nice one brother, pneumothorax. Let's see if I can do the splenic rupture," Lucifer laughed, healing Adam and preparing to succeed on his next quest. This was a fun game.

Tears made their way down Adam's face. Tears of pain, of anguish and of loneliness. He couldn't cope with this. He could hear Sam and Dean muttering words of what he supposed were meant to be comfort, but it didn't help. They couldn't block out the memories crowding his mind. "Fuck Dean, what do we do?" Sam panicked, staring at his older brother in desperation.

"I... I don't know Sammy," Dean replied with a monotone voice. He looked away from both of them. He couldn't see his brothers, his younger brothers, in so much pain. It hurt him. Man up Dean, he thought, they need you, not a coward. "Pick him up."

"What? Dean, look at him now. I only touched his shoulder," Sam protested, glaring at his brother in shock.

"I don't know what it was like down in the cage but I'm damn sure it wasn't all fluffy pillows and bedding. We need to get him off this floor and onto a bed. It might lessen the memories or at least make him comfortable," Dean explained, trying to get Sam to understand his reasoning. Pondering on it for a second, Sam nodded and bent down to pick up Adam. As expected, Adam stiffened, but didn't scream. He flinched, but didn't try to get away. After placing Adam on the bed, the boys stood back. Adam was rocking back and forth on the bed, hands still over his ears. "Have you got any sleeping pills Sammy?" Dean asked. Sam nodded and went off to the bathroom to find the kit. Of course they had sleeping pills. When the booze stopped working, as did the jokes, it was the one thing the brothers could rely on to get a decent sleep. Well, not really decent sleep. Nightmares would still haunt them and the combination of alcohol and sleeping pills was dangerous that the other would have to look out if someone wanted to take them and had drunk alcohol already.

Sam returned with the pill and a glass of water. "How are we going to get him to take it?" Sam asked, indicating towards Adam. Dean took the pill and the water away from Sam and made his way over to where Adam was curled up.

"Adam?" he whispered to the tormented teen, "Adam, I have something that might help you." At the word help, Adam looked up, obviously still in pain. "Take this and we'll talk when you've had some rest, okay?"

"Okay," Adam muttered, taking the pill and water and downing both. He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, his body still twitching but eventually he fell asleep.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Sam asked.

"He will be," Dean reassured before heading off to the bathroom. Sam gave Adam one last look, then opened his laptop.

Pathetic. Weak. Bones snapped around him and ruby coloured blood spread like a puddle across the floor. Adam stared on for a while before realising it was his own. Looking up, he saw Lucifer and Michael smirking as they each stretched out a hand and yanked both of his eyeballs out, breaking the eye socket as a little extra fun. Adam screamed; all he could see was the darkness.

Waking up with a start, Adam realised that he was still with his brothers. He shakily stood up and headed to the bathroom. He felt awful yet the voices seemed to have died down. Turning on the bathroom light, he stepped inside and closed the door. He leant over the sink and splashed his face with water. Looking into the mirror, he jumped. Spinning around he finally managed to choke out some words. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just a figment of your imagination. You created me to be here and I'm going to enjoy every minute," Lucifer replied, stepping closer. Adam backed away but soon felt the cold sink dig into his back. Lucifer came closer and closer smirking all the way. "See kid, you know I was right down there. No-one wants you, especially not your brothers. They will sacrifice you a thousand times over if the other was in danger. And you know that don't you."

"No," Adam protested but even to his ears it sounded weak. Lucifer took his final step forward and grabbed Adam's hand. Adam knew this was a hallucination but he could feel Lucifer's strong grip on his hand. Lucifer guided his hand up to the gun above the sink.

"You should Adam. This will never stop, I will give you peace, if you do this," Lucifer bargained, smirking all the way. Adam held the gun loosely in his hand. Should he? He wanted peace, he craved peace. Lucifer turned the gun towards Adam's heart, moving Adam's finger to the trigger. "It's the only way."

The gunshot woke Sam and Dean up but seeing their younger brother wasn't in bed got them up. Dean looked around and saw Adam wasn't in the bed and the bathroom door was closed with light coming underneath. "Adam!" Dean yelled, hoping the gunshot had nothing to do with him. He ran to the bathroom door, Sam close behind. Grabbing the door knob, he twisted but found it locked. He banged on the door. "Adam, please. Open the door." Not getting a response, he stepped back and repeatedly hit his shoulder against the door, breaking it open. Neither of them realised the liquid creeping out of the door until it was broke.

Lying on the floor was Adam, gun in hand, the other pressed to the gaping bullet wound in his chest. "Adam!" Dean yelled, dropping to his knees in the crimson blood. "Adam, oh god please, no." Sam dropped down next to both of them, seeing if he could stop the wound. He knew there was no way to stop it yet he still tried. As he always would.

"I just want peace," Adam croaked out, staring at his brothers with glassy eyes.

"It's gonna be okay Adam. Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything," Dean begged, his eyes never leaving his youngest brother's.

"It's gonna be okay Adam," Sam echoed, his hands still desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"Thank you," Adam whispered, before his head tilted to the side and his eyes became glossed over. Sam turned his wrist over to find a pulse, but there wasn't one.

"Is he?" Dean started. Sam shook his head. "No," Dean moaned echoing what Adam had been repeating earlier. Dean held Adam's body as he tried to forgive himself. Sam hugged both of them, trying to forgive himself. All the boys could hear was Adam's earlier words.

"God, I was so stupid to believe that someone actually cared for me."