Hogwarts Class Reunion

Harry Potter was standing in front of his mirror, trying to (somehow) arrange his bow tie in a manner that allowed him to breathe, all the while looking, well, "hip". He sighed. After using his wand to tie it (it almost strangled him) and trying it the old fashion Muggle way, he gave up. He sat there in wandering awe of his stupidity, wanting to know how in the hell he could have made his own bow-tie tie him to his bedpost. He decided that he looked best without it, and as an added touch, he unbuttoned a few buttons on his crisp new white tuxedo shirt, letting just a little bit of chest hair peak out. He stayed in front of the mirror a little longer, doing various poses, trying to flick his hair back in a way that he thought made him look cool, singing the popular Muggle song, "I'm too sexy", that sort of thing. Tonight was the 5-year Hogwarts class reunion, and after not seeing his old friends and foes since he was seventeen, he felt he needed to present himself nicely. Oh sure, he's kept in touch with Hermione and Ron, but not by much. Hermione was doing a million things at once with the Ministry of Magic, and every time Harry tried to ask her a question about how work was, she gave him a silly little smirk and told him that it was Much Too Complicated For Just Anyone To Grasp blah blah blah. As for Ron....He was working with his brothers and their joke shop. Actually, he suspected that his mother may have had some influence over the twins decision to let him have the job. But Ron didn't really give a damn. It was better than the alternative, working with Muggles like his father. Ron preferred to work on the business side of things, arranging meetings with investors, dealing with advertising, that sort of thing. It was more his forte, I'd say, than inventing gags and jokes. He would leave that too his brothers.

Harry took one last look around his bachelor pad, (a dumpy little place he rented in Diagon Alley) and figured that he needed to learn more spells for cleaning. His dirty clothes and underwear were lying about in the most random places, i.e in the freezer, or any place he absent-mindedly placed them. The dishes were piling up in the sink, and everything was covered in dust. There were even a few copies of Wizarding Playboy (Hey, we can't all expect to be perfect angels) peaking out under places where he had obviously tried unsuccessfully tried to hide them. Harry sighed. Loudly. And then he sighed again. And again. Why? Who knows. He was trying his best to "cleanse his aura".

Harry was now fulfilling his dream job, which was working as an Auror. Work has taken up so much of his freakin' time that he bearly had time to do anything but sleep once he got home, much less take time to clean his house. That's why poor, poor Harry Potter is Still Single. Oh sure, he's had SOME girlfriends, but they all seemed to be the shallow, air-head types who do nothing but talk about the awesome potion that is simply FABULOUS for removing tricky long-lasting nail polish. He dumped them after awhile. This became a regular hobby for Harry, finding girls who were interested in him just because he was famous once-upon-a- time, dating them, dumping them, and repeating it again. Over and Over and Over again. Kind of like the Energizer Bunny. Only not. Harry had another one if his Dark-Depressing-Adolescent-Teen-Filled-With-Misery-And- Woe facial expressions on (even though he was now 23) as he looked back on these, erm...bad dates. However, the site of seeing all his old friends again cheered him up, as did the thought of seeing how Crabbe and Goyle turned out. They couldn't pretend to be Malfoy's entourage forever. Harry took a deep breath and began to disapparate...