"Black?"
*silence*
"This isn't funny. Untie me, give me my clothes back and let me go, and I won't tell anyone.
*silence*
"Black! I know it's you. The smell of wet dog gives you away."
"You always were an arrogant bastard, even when you were young. I suppose you got your house-elf to do this?"
"Fine. Don't answer me. I'll work it out for ... Wait... is that your tongue? What...?"
"Oh god. So rough. So long. Ng...no - I don't want any part of this. Take your ..."
"Ohhh your lips. So soft. Long. Harder. Down. Oh please. Don't stop... Ahhhhh."
"Hey - gentle with those teeth. All right, I'll roll over, just ... oh god, no. Not now. If you knot inside me I'll ... yes, more tongue. God, you're so thick and hard and ..."
"ARGH!"
*grunt*
*grunt*
"Ahhhhh."
Ten minutes later, Severus managed to loosen the bonds, and staggered out from the under-stairs cupboard. His hair was mussed and he was still wiping drool from his hands as he stumbled into the kitchen at Grimmaud Place. Hermione looked him over with concern.
"Professor?"
"Where is Black? I know it was him!"
"Know it was him? He's been here at the table all afternoon, helping me with my homework. Why?"
Severus looked over at Sirius, who looked him up and down. Severus stumbled, and caught the lintel of the door to recover. He rubbed his hands across his eyes, and moaned.
"My ... apologies, Sirius. I thought ... I think I'd better go and rest."
"You should," Sirius replied as the dark-clad figure headed back out the door. "I think there may be something going around. Poor Remus headed off to bed not ten minutes back, looking half as buggered as you do now."