This was a little fanfic I thought of awhile ago. Features me and my new buddy, Gempire. Check out our fanfics. If you don't, we'll dish out twelve hundred years worth of vampire butt-kicking on you.
Host: Welcome, everyone, to Cellular Idol!
Crowd: Wrong Fanfic!
Host: Oops! I mean- Welcome to the Wickedest Dreads Competition! Here, four contestants show off their wicked dreads for a chance to be on the cover of Thraxbaby Magazine!
Crowd: Yay!
Host: Now meet our judges, Thraxbaby...
Thraxbaby: Hi!
Host: ...Gempire...
Gempire: Hi!
Host: ...and Snape!
Snape: Why am I here again?
Thraxbaby: Because Simon quit and you were the first mean British guy I thought of!
Host: Okay, here's our first contestant, Laurent! *crowd cheers and Laurent walks onstage* So, Laurent, how do you feel?
Laurent: Good. It is an honor to be here. *Thraxbaby and Gempire giggle like fangirls*
Snape: What's your problem?
Thraxbaby: Hello!? Have you heard his accent?
Gempire: OMG! Look at his abs!
Snape: Hey, isn't he a vampire?
Gempire: What's wrong with vampires? *She and Thraxbaby flash fangs*
Snape: Uh, nothing! On with the contest.
Host: Okay, judges, what rating would you give Laurent?
Thraxbaby: I give him...8!
Gempire: 8!
Snape: 6. *G & T glare at him*
Host: That gives Laurent a total of 22! Next up is Thrax Roja! *Girls in crowd along with the two female judges scream*
Thrax: Thanks, baby!
Thraxbaby: OMG! Thrax, will you sign my boxers? *holds up a pair of boxers*
Thrax: Hey, aren't those mine?
Thraxbaby: Psh! No! Maybe...
Host: Okay... well, what score do you give him?
Thraxbaby: Duh! He gets a 10!
Gempire: 10! *winks at Thrax*
Thraxbaby: *glares Gempire*
Thrax: O.o
Snape: 7 at most. *Thraxbaby growls him*
Host: Well, that gives him a total score of 27! That's five more points than Laurent! Up next is Jack Sparrow!
Crowd: CAPTAIN!
Host: Sorry- Captain Jack Sparrow! *Jack Sparrow walks onstage and Gempire turns to jelly*
Jack: So, where's my prize?
Host: Uh, you don't get one. The judges haven't rated you yet.
Jack: Oh. Well, ladies- and gentleman- what score are you going to give old Jacky?
*Snape holds up a 0 sign. Gempire draws a 10 in front of it, giving him a 100. Thraxbaby holds up a 9.9999999999 sign.*
Thraxbaby: the 0.0000000001 is for the breath. Sorry. *Jack shrugs*
Jack: So, love, what are you giving me? *Gempire holds up sideways 8 sign*
Thraxbaby: You're holding it wrong!
Gempire: No I'm not! It's an infinity!
Host: I guess that gives Jack-Captain Jack Sparrow an infinity and 109.9999999999! Captain Jack wins!
Crowd: *cheers*
Thrax: WHAT!?!!! *claw glows red hot* How could you do this to me?!
Thraxbaby: It was her, not me! *points to Gempire*
Thrax: *walks offstage*
Thraxbaby: So are we still on for Saturday?!
Host: So there you have it, folks! This concludes the Wickedest Dreads Contest! Until next time, check out Thraxbaby and Gempire's fanfictions because if you don't they'll stalk you until you go nuts!
Thraxbaby: Thraxy, wait for me!!!!!! *runs after Thrax*
A.N.: Thraxbaby Magazine does not really exist, though I used to write a newspaper called the Special Times. I haven't written one in over a year.