Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Wish I did. But I don't.

Warnings: Yaoi (goes without saying, though!), alternate universe-ish, cursing, minor depiction of sexual acts, and MPREG. You have been warned. If that creeps you out, please DO NOT read this. You can flame me for poor handling of the situation, or bad grammar, or OOC characters, or what have you… However, flames similar to "I don't like MPREG" will be ignored.

Pairings: Tetsuhiro x Souichi, Kunihiro x Masaki

Summary: Tetsuhiro's in hiding and Isogai knows more than he's letting on, meaning that Souichi's going to have one hell of a headache when this is all said and done. He has a decision to make; follow the rabbit hole into madness, or say goodbye to Tetsuhiro forever.

Notes: A spin-off from a short story I wrote a while ago. I don't expect many people to like this (SPOILER ALERT: Souichi's NOT the one that gets pregnant), but I have to write it anyway. It's not that I think Souichi should be "the man" of the relationship. It's just that the thought of HIM getting pregnant completely contradicts everything I think about him. He's not the maternal type. So flame me, bash me, whatever. I just have to put this out there.

Also, this picks up where volume 7 leaves off and takes a turn for the weird. I don't normally like to distort canon events, but this time it must be done. Sorry!

Prologue: Goodbye

That was it. It was all over. So many months of hoping, and now it didn't matter. In one sentence, Souichi had finally achieved what he'd been working for all along. He'd finally driven Tetsuhiro away and crushed any prayer he had of finding happiness with him. The dark-haired man was now sitting on a bench in the park, still reeling from Souichi's accusations and the conversation with Masaki.

It wasn't like Souichi would care if he saw Masaki again. His senpai made it clear that all this time he'd been trying to pull away… and all Tetsuhiro had done was cling to him like a leech. Still, despite it all, he felt like he owed it to Souichi to at least make it clear that he had no interest in Masaki. That was why he'd told Masaki that they would most likely never meet again.

In the cold breeze blowing through the abandoned playground, Tetsuhiro shivered and wondered what he would do now. Perhaps Masaki was right. "You should go home," had been his advice, and Tetsuhiro was beginning to think that perhaps it was the best option. He sat on the bench, contemplating his next move. He couldn't stay here. He had to leave Nagoya; it was too painful to remain when his only tie to this place was his senpai. Of course he would have a bigger chance of running into Masaki if he returned home, but what the hell? If he happened to bump into him, it would be different than seeking him out actively.

"You can't stay here, you know," said the little voice inside him. He closed his eyes.

"I know," he said. "I have no other choice but to go home."

"Go see Senpai once more. Maybe he'll take back what he said?"

Tetsuhiro laughed bitterly. Like that would ever happen. All he could do now was leave Nagoya. How would he face his family, though? He knew Kunihiro might accept him, but his parents were a different matter. They wouldn't want to see him. He thought that it would be best to avoid them if at all possible.

The moon rose over the city. Park lights began turning off. It was getting late, and much colder. Tetsuhiro didn't notice the tears until their trails nearly froze on his cheeks; he wiped at them furiously. He had made up his mind, and he would go back home. It was highly likely that he would never see this place again… that he would never see his senpai again. The thought constricted around his heart like a python, squeezing until he felt physically pained. No matter how agonizing it was, though, he had to do this.

There was just one more thing to do before he left, though.

He had to see Souichi one last time.

XXXXX

The research student in question was currently pacing the living room, unable to sleep and considering going on a search. Tetsuhiro had been gone for hours. Furiously, Souichi grabbed for his coat, and then threw it back onto the couch. If he went looking for him, Tetsuhiro might take that action out of context. He might think that Souichi actually cared.

"But don't you care?" a nagging little voice rose up from the back of his mind. He shook it out of his head. Of course he didn't care; he was just aggravated because he didn't want Tetsuhiro doing anything stupid. As his senpai and roommate, it would mean trouble for him if the kid got into a bind. "Keep telling yourself that," the voice said sardonically.

Finally, Souichi couldn't take it anymore. He threw on his coat and was just about to stomp towards the door when it opened. Tetsuhiro walked in, his shoulders slumped and his gaze lowered.

Souichi almost sighed in relief. Instead, he shouted, "Just where the hell were you?!"

"I just… took a walk," Tetsuhiro replied. He wouldn't meet Souichi's eyes. Before Souichi could ask anything else—like where Masaki was—Tetsuhiro had pulled him into an embrace. This was unlike any hug the taller man had ever given him. The arms around his shoulders trembled, and he could feel hot tears on the side of his face.

"What are you doing?!" Souichi tried to shove his kouhai away, but Tetsuhiro held on tightly.

"Please, Senpai," he whispered. "Please, just let me hold you like this. Just hear me out, OK?"

"You'd better spit it out, then!" Souichi didn't like this. Tetsuhiro was acting strangely.

"I… I'm sorry… I never meant to…" More tears flowed as Tetsuhiro began to cry in earnest. "I never meant to… hurt you like that…!"

"Hurt me?"

"All th- this time, you've cared about me… Not a- as a lover, but as a friend. I- I took advantage of that… I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, stop that!" Souichi put his hands on Tetsuhiro's quaking shoulders, though he wasn't sure if he should pull him closer or push him away. The kid was hysterical now.

"Senpai, I… I…!" Tetsuhiro finally looked into Souichi's eyes. The older man didn't like what he saw one bit. There was so much anguish in those eyes, and a strange determination… Before he could completely grasp what his kouhai was thinking, Tetsuhiro suddenly kissed Souichi ferociously, leaving the blonde unable to react.

"I can't keep this up…" Tetsuhiro thought. "If only he loved me, then…"

"Take this opportunity," his inner voice piped up. "At least bring something back to remember him by."

"But this?" Souichi was struggling now, though not intensely. He seemed utterly confused as Tetsuhiro's tongue slid into his mouth.

"You need to love someone. Your body is telling you that now is the time, so just do it!"

"I- I can't!"

"Too late."

Tetsuhiro pulled away, lowering his eyes to the floor in shame. He took a shuddering breath, calming himself, and then gave Souichi one last pained look. "… Goodbye, Senpai…"

Souichi watched as Tetsuhiro turned and ran once again out the door. He was completely bewildered. That kiss had conveyed a mix of pain and longing, and it had touched him deeply. He didn't have time to think about it, though; he ran after the retreating figure. His own fear was causing his heart to pound long before his body felt any sort of physical exertion. What did he mean by "goodbye"? "Hey!" he called, not caring who he disturbed as he pounded down the stairs after Tetsuhiro. "Get back here! HEY!" It was no use. When he came to the end of the street, panting and sweating despite the cold night air, there was no sign of his kouhai anywhere. A few leaves and a black feather blew past, but Tetsuhiro was gone.

TBC

Well, unless I get nothing but bad reviews, I'm going to continue it. Good or bad, let me know what you think! I've got it all planned out and written up to chapter 6, so I'll update really soon if anyone cares to read more.