"Again?" asked the greatest when they heard the news about the new invasion. "When will they understand their just not good enough for the Astrolian Empire?" They sighed. "Call up the empire."
When the entire Astrolian empire showed up for the mystery announcement, the most excited one was certainly Meg. Meg was different from all the other Astrolians. Starting with her appearance. All the others were a very light green skinned with yellow eyes. She bared a slight resemblance to the Irkens, having very light green skin, but with purple eyes. She also added some accessories to her Astrolian uniform, including a purple scarf, a black hat with chained rhinestones that was always worn with a slight lop to one side or another. By doing all this, she pretty much succeeded in sticking out like a sore antenna and was proud of it.
When greatest green was finished with the big announcement, everyone was puzzled.
"Would the Astrolian soldiers please step up on stage so we can assign you a battle position." Meg squealed like a slaughtered jubjub, and starting running through the crowds, elbowing people out of the way, giggling, "'Scuse me, sorry ma'am. Pardon me."
Tyrax, a bohunk guard (bohunk was a word that Meg and her best friend, Leh, used to describe brawny brainless people or things), held out a big meaty paw and grunted, "Sorry, ma'am, you'll have to remain seated."
Meg felt as if there were flames rising in a circle around her as he smile melted away. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" She cried in her voice. When Tyrax just looked at her blankly, she said it louder, almost as if she were getting deafness and stupidity confused. "Do you know who I am? I am MEG! Daughter of Greatest Yrt!"
"Yrt…" replied Tyrax ponderously. "Yrt… Umm… Yrt."
Meg sighed impatiently, and was suddenly shoved aside. She looked up with eyes aflame at the last person who'd serve convenient on Meg's part.
"Invader Flax, reporting for duty, Tyrax, sir," said Flax forcibly. "And, Tyrax, sir, if I may say, you are looking on the spiff today. Been running the five kilometer, or six?"
Tyrax passed gas in appreciation. "Get on then," he mumbled, opening the tight red rope to Flax to pass.
Meg watched in growing frustration. "Why does FLAX get to pass and not ME?!?!"
Tyrax stared at Meg as if she were dumber than any asteroid that had dropped out of the Academy for Mentally Challenged Minerals. "He's a soldier. You're a girl, ma'am. Big difference."
"What? WHAT!?" Meg was gaping. She'd trained to be a soldier, exceeded all the requirements, and more. Now she was being denied the permission soldier in Astrolian Empire.
"What's going on?" asked Yrt pushing Tyrax aside. "Oh, Meg sweetie. How nice of you to come. But you really should be getting back to your seat."
"WHAT?!" yelled Meg. "I am a soldier. A SOLDIER!!! And I will not leave until I am given a position to fight for my planet!"
Yrt arched his brows and studied Tyrax's uniform, desperate for an idea. His eye fell upon a badge with the words embroidered in: 1st degree rating for performance in Military base training on planet Jaxyt. He smiled, suddenly getting an idea. "Gyrt," he called over his shoulder to the twin brother of Tyrax. "Ready the Minimal with these coordinates." He pulled out a strip of paper and jotted down the directions to that very military training camp.
"I will send you to the one, the only, MYSTERIOUS PLANET!" he shouted waiting for an oooh or an ahh. "It's a military training camp. As soon as you prove your worthiness, Meg, I will see you off as an Astrolian Soldier." Meg's eyes widened, and a smile slithered in a wobbly pattern across her face.
"Where is this going," whispered Tyrax to Yrt.
"I just want her to be safe," replied Yrt. "She can't fight in the war, she a girl."
"But to Jaxyt?"
"Well, you graduated first degree. I suppose that as soon as she's out of there, this war will be don't with and Meg will have matured."
The bohunk blinked twice. "Yes, sir," he muttered, and back out of the way.
Meg was safely placed in the capsule while Gyrk typed in the coordinates. She soluted Gyrk then faced forward smiling.
Gyrk grunted in frustration. He looked into his might palm and stared at the sheet. The ink was smeared from his clammy hands. Uh oh. Nervously, Gyrk looked over his shoulder at Yrk, who seemed completely calm. Mustn't anger a greatest, said the probe that had been planted in his brain when he was initiated to the position of power he was in. Gyrk nodded and studied the sheet once more. Then he typed in the coordinates: 34:76, and bowed as Yrk approached his daughter, who was adjusting her hat.
"Meg, dear, this is something for you. A robot companion; one that I was supposed to give you for your 130th birthday, but since it seems you'll be gone soon… Happy birthday, little girl. You're getting to be all grown up."
Meg rolled her eyes and blushed. "Daaaaaaad!" she muttered before hugging the little metallic box close to her. "Alright, thanks, dad. I love you." She smiled. "I'll see you later, daddy." She kissed him right in between his eyes.
Yrk closed the Minimal's door, and put up the heat protection screen. "Alright. Come on. Get it over with," ordered Yrk, looking away. The last thing he saw before the Minimal was out of sight was Meg, staring back down at her planet, hugging the box as if it were a doll.
Meg stared at the small square in her hands. It was lightweight, but still definitely holding something. She pressed the activation button and the box sprung to life. Meg flinched.
"Pip, reporting for duty," it said (haha, duty).
"Aw, how cute," said Meg. "Don't worry, you're not a slave." She hugged Pip. Pip stiffened, seeming confused by this display of affection. He had been expecting to receive orders as soon as he was activated. What was this child doing here? The computers inside of him began running an analysis as he stumbled over to a chair, following the child's actions.
It was nearly six days later when a computer's voice switched to life. "Destination: 1.3 miles away." The computer voice boomed and echoed, waking Meg up to find Pip snuggled in her arms. He was the only thing in the universe that could still look serious as he was being snuggled. She could see the planet approaching.
"Planet Earth," flashed a computer screen, Meg and Pip were looking out at the planet in starry-eyed wonder. The moment didn't stay too magical as the outer shield of the ship burst into flames and they hurled to the ground.
Meg smiled, not feeling terrified at all, unlike a the confused Pip next to her who was beginning to suspect his companion was a psychopath. Then the computer's voice spoke again. "Danger. Danger. Commence screaming."
Meg and Pip screamed like there was no tomorrow until suddenly… CRASH!!! They crashed into a purple roof on top of a little green house.
Meanwhile, Zim was holding a boiling beaker, ready to unleash all of hell on the planet, quite literally.
"Gir, this is it, this is finally it!" he screamed. "All I need to do is pour in this powder and humans will be destroyed by DEMON SPACE LLAMAS!" He laughed maniacally, and the hand holding the slip of powder began to inch closer to the beaker. It never got there.
CRASH!!! There was the Minimal. Zim dropped the beaker, which promptly exploded with a final bleat of a demon space llama, and jumped back.
"WHAT IS THIS??? Who dares crash into Zim's house and ruins his most brilliant plan? WHO?!" he asked no one.
"I think I did," coughed a voice. Zim focused on the twitching pile of metal until a girl emerged from it. His eyes widened as he imagined the horror that he did not want to happen again after his last experience like this.
"Are… are you Irken?" he asked puzzled by her Irken-like appearance.
"Why does everyone ask that?" sighed Meg casually. She twisted an antenna around her finger as if she were meek, but spoke all the more boldly. "You, sir, may address me as Meg, daughterer of Greatest Yrk, soldier of Astrolia."
"You? Astrolian?" asked Zim. He broke into a spiteful laugh and pointed. "Ha, we're going to destroy your puny defenseless planet."
"Then I suspect your Irken," said Meg, rolling her eyes and turning over. "As soon as I'm off this military training camp I'll—wait! What are you doing on this training base?"
"Training base?" asked Zim, pulling out a dust broom from behind him and no longer feeling a sense of urgency. "What do you mean 'training base'? I've been sent to conquer this planet. This is ZIIIM'S planet to destroy!"
Meg gasped and stared in a bright-eyed wonder. "Pip…" she muttered under her breath, and listening to the soft footsteps of the little robot approaching behind her..
"What are you—"
"PIP!!!" Meg screamed urgently, cutting off Zim. "Rocketjets, now!"
Zim stumbled back and fell, a broken piece of glass lodging itself into his arm as Pip jumped into the air, and stopped only long enough for Meg to climb onto his back. "Hurry!" shrieked Meg. "We gotta get outta here and warn someone."
"Wait!" screamed Zim over the shrill whistle of the rockets. "You can't just go out there. They'll get the Earth military on you immediately." They were already crashing onto the top floor. Only a matter of time before…
"GIR! STOP THEM!!!" screamed Zim. "DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE! THEY'LL BLOW OUR COVER!"
"FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENDSS!!!" screamed a high voice, and something knocked us out of the air. The last thing Meg remembered before she blacked was tumbling back to the ground, and into the bleeding, threatening, opened arms of Zim.