AN:// It's amazing. I read a couple of harmless fanfics and this spawned. It's a one-shot and very short, but it might grow some day. I'm just a little moody right now and it seems like a good outlet. So do enjoy this little random thingy. My heart was definitely in it for the writing. I left room for more development just in case I feel like adding on to it later.
Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or any of its respective characters. Thank you.
.Clandestine.
(Kaoru's POV)
~Fears~
I watch them as each day passes, sinking more and more into the shadows as Hikaru lays his feelings out for all the world to see. As I smile and grin and pretend to be happy, I am falling more and more into a pit of despair, for there is one truth that I am still not willing to face: my beloved twin is in love with Haruhi.
It isn't as if I don't feel anything for her. No, I honestly can't deny that I am rather fond of our sweet Haru-chan. But my world is dimming all the same. I'm not particularly jealous of either of the two, but I'm slipping into dangerous emotional territory all the same.
The pain I am experiencing borders on physical torture. It is agonizing, as if the ties between Hikaru and I have been violently severed with a imaginary cleaver - a dull, malicious blade. The progress is slow and terrible. I don't think I can stand it any longer, because one fact stands firmly on the edge of this precipice of secrets: I am in love with Hikaru.
I know it is wrong and immoral by our modern social standards, but it is a fact that I cannot - and will not - change for the world. Of course, this has preoccupied my thoughts for some time, and even though I spoke the words to Hikaru, "I love my brother more than I love Haruhi," I know he hasn't really grasped my meaning.
But I hope that he does soon, because this just can't go on for much longer…
~Hopes~
The day I feared has finally come.
Haruhi and Tamaki are together. They have both confessed their undying love for each other in a rather hilarious fashion. None-the-less, it is a sad day for Hikaru, who has fallen asleep in my arms. I have been holding him for an hour now, and certain limbs of mine are falling asleep. I refuse to wake him so that I can make myself more comfortable. I know I don't deserve such a trivial pleasure.
I guess I am punishing myself. I am far too happy at the moment. My guilt is escalating by the second, for I can't find myself displeased with the situation that has caused Hikaru so much pain. He's supposed to be the dominant one, who's not afraid to show his feelings…
It's too bad that no one else really knows how fragile he can be.
But I do.
And I hope that when morning comes, he'll feel a little better, and perhaps by tomorrow, I can weave him into my web again, so that we can once again become the perfect pair.
Just you wait, Hikaru. Tomorrow, you'll be all mine again.
*
AN:// It's so short, but I feel a little better. What do you think? Is it worth continuing?