A/N: Hello again! I'm back lol. So here's the alternate ending. If you haven't read Fearless, you really should read that first, this will make no sense if you haven't.

For those of you who have read Fearless, this picks up after Chapter 21, Bella, Carlisle and Edward are in the Mercedes on the way to the hospital.

I just have to say, this was INCREDIBLY hard to write. I had to stop many, many times. But cuteyangel....this is for you. I hope you all enjoy it.


Chapter 22

BPOV

His eyes drifted closed. "Edward," I cried cry softly, "Please don't."

"I'm here," he breathed. His eyes half opened and I gasped in relief.

"We are almost there, my angel. Just hold on a little bit longer. Carlisle," my voice rose to speak to the man in the front seat. "He's still bleeding so much, what can I do?"

"Lift his arm up," Carlisle said through his teeth. "We are just about there."

I lifted his arm, desperate to save him.

I pressed my lips pressed to his ice cold cheek. "Don't leave me Edward, please," I whispered again. His eyes were closed. Those beautiful, haunted emerald eyes that I had fallen in love with the second I saw them were closed. "No," I cried softly. "Sweetheart, please wake up."

The car stopped, but I hardly noticed. I tightened my grip, trying to keep the blood he needed so desperately in his arm. Carlisle opened the door and lifted Edward's limp body into his arms. My heart hammered in my chest as I ran a long side him, not once releasing my hold on my angel's arm.

I ran with Carlisle through the ER, ignoring anyone who tried to stop me. I would not leave him. Carlisle set him on a bed. Then he was shouting at the team of nurses and specialists who had gathered in the room. Someone was trying to pry my fingers off Edward's arm, but I couldn't let go. "Bella," Carlisle tipped my chin up with a gloved finger, forcing me to look at him. "You can let go now, its okay."

I released my grip and immediately blood began to stream from the cut again. I sobbed softly as I backed away from him, holding my chest as I watched Carlisle work. His hands moved competently and I knew he was the best doctor pretty much anywhere. But in my mind all I could see was Edward standing in the gym, blood pooling around him as it poured from the huge gash in his arm. I would never forget the way he looked as he attacked his stepfather. Despite how weak he must have felt, he had attacked him, protecting me and using the last of his strength. And then, he had lain on the ground, his life source continuing to exit his body. So much blood. Could he really live with so much lost?

A terrifying sound filled the room. My heart stuttered to a stop as I watched Carlisle raise paddles and press them to Edward's chest. My angel's body jerked as the paddles were triggered, but still the endless shriek filled the room. My breathes came out in shallow gasps as Carlisle set the paddles down again, Edward's body jerking again. The sound did not stop. His body jerked again. And again. Still nothing changed.

I saw a one of the nurses glance at the clock. "Time of death, 2:15am," he said quietly to a man holding a clipboard.

"NO!" I screamed. "NO!" I shoved my way through the doctors and grabbed Edward. "Wake up," I cried. "Please Edward, please. You have to wake up. Now." I buried my face in his neck and sobbed. "Don't leave me, please, sweetheart, please."

I felt hands on my shoulders, trying to pull me away. "No," I cried again. I lifted my head and clutched Edward's shoulders. I stared at his pale face. "Edward," I gasped, panting now as panic shook my very core. "You have to wake up now." I shook his shoulders. "Now! Wake up. This can't happen, I can't live without you."

"Bella."

I heard Carlisle's choked voice near my ear and I knew he was the one attempting to drag me away from my angel. "Leave me alone," I told him, my voice cracking over the words. "I can't leave him." Maybe if I stayed, if I held him tight enough he'd come back to me.

"Bella, honey, he's gone," Carlisle put his arms around my shoulders. "Come on."

"No," I cried again, softly this time. "Carlisle, please. Make him come back." I turned my tear soaked eyes to the doctor briefly. "Please bring him back." I looked back at him. He was so pale, so still. I sobbed harder. "I love you. I love you Edward, always. Forever." I leaned down and pressed my lips to his cold, still ones. A sob broke through me and I felt Carlisle lifting me away.

I fought him at first, desperate to stay with Edward. "Let me go," I cried, fighting his arms. "Let me go!" I saw someone pulling a sheet over him and I screamed again. "Edward!"

Then I collapsed into Carlisle, my sobs wracking through me. His arms came around me, holding me tight. He lowered to the ground and I felt his hot tears on my neck. My fingers clenched his shoulders as the pain lanced through me.

"I'm sorry," I barely heard Carlisle's cries through my own pain. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save him Bella. So sorry." He rocked us slowly.

"It's not your fault," I whispered shakily. My throat was raw from my screams.

"Dr. Cullen." I heard another man's voice. "Your wife and children are in the waiting room."

"Oh God," Carlisle sighed. "Esme." He pulled away from me and looked at me. "Come on, Bella let's go."

"I don't want to leave him," I whispered. I couldn't look back at the bed, but I couldn't leave either.

"You aren't leaving him honey, you are taking him with you. He'll never leave you." I could see Carlisle was trying to believe his own words as his gaze flickered to the bed. He stood and then helped me to my feet.

Slowly, feeling as if I had aged thirty years in the last thirty minutes, I let Carlisle led me out of the room. Before I left, I looked over my shoulder. "I love you my angel," I whispered one more time. I put my hand over my heart, clutching at my shirt.

In the waiting room, we met Esme. "Carlisle!" she ran up to him. "Is he okay?" She looked at her husband, the horror of the situation dawning on her as she looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, darling," he whispered. "He lost too much blood, I couldn't save him."

"No!" Esme cried and she clung to Carlisle. He scooped her up and held her tightly. "My poor sweet boy," she sobbed, repeating the words over and over again.

I looked away from them, still holding my hand over my heart. It was as if I could hold him there, keep him from ever escaping. I turned and saw Alice and Emmett. They were both crying softly, Emmett holding his sister. "Bella," he said, he managed. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. I didn't think I'd ever be okay again. I went over to them and let Emmett's arm come around my shoulders. We stood in silence for a while. I stared at the white wall, seeing his face in front of my eyes. His messy bronze hair, his beautiful green eyes. His sweet smile. His gentle kiss. Oh God, how was I going to live without him?

I don't really remember leaving the hospital, or the drive back to the Cullens. It seemed as if I blinked and then found myself standing in the foyer.

"Bella," I heard Esme's voice from somewhere behind me. "If you want to take a shower, I'll bring you some fresh clothes."

I gazed down at myself and was slightly shocked to see I was covered in blood. Without a word, I nodded and made my way up the stairs, to the guest bathroom. There, I cranked the water up as high and as hot as it would go. I stripped out of my bloody pajamas and stepped into the hot spray. I had hoped the heat of the water could warm the chill I felt to the core of my being, but it didn't seem to work that way. I washed my hair and scrubbed at the blood on my hands and arms, trying not to think about why the blood was there. Tears began to trickle down my cheeks again. By the time I was clean, I was gasping for air. I grabbed a towel and saw that someone, probably Esme had set a clean pair of sweats and a T-shirt out for me. I pulled them on, tears still streaking down my cheeks.

I needed to be close to him. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I didn't think, I only headed to his room. Then I stood in the door way and tried to breath through the rush of memories that bombarded me.

Lying on the bed and talking, dancing with him, kissing him. I hugged my arms to my chest and I was still freezing. Not thinking about it, I walked to his closet and opened the door. I found his blue hoodie, one he wore a lot and tugged it off the hanger. I wrapped the warm cotton around me and breathed in. Fresh tears pooled in my eyes as I smelled his unique scent. "Edward," I whispered as I pressed my nose into the fabric. I closed my eyes and could almost imagine him holding me.

For now, his room was empty and I went to his bed. I leaned against the headboard and pulled my knees to my chest. I rested my cheek on my knees and tears continued to slide down my face. This can't be real. My mind repeated those words over and over again, and they rattled through my brain.

"Bella." I opened my eyes and saw the rest of his family coming into the room, looking at me with sorrow in their eyes.

Carlisle held out an envelope. I stared at it blankly. "It's for you," he said softly.

I turned the envelope over and saw my name written in his beautiful scrawl. The tears came faster. For a long time, I just stared at my name written by the boy I love.

"Honey, are you okay?" I heard Esme ask me. Her hands smoothed back my hair. I looked up at her and saw the tears running down her face.

"Yeah," I whispered. "I just don't want to open it, you know. These are the last words he'll ever say to me."

"Oh honey," she cried softly. She pulled me to her then, continuing the soothing movements through her hair. "I understand completely." I looked at her hand and saw that she held a similar envelope.

"I just feel like I should known something was wrong sooner," I whispered now. "I should have known. He was acting so strange all day." My voice broke. "I should never, ever have left him. He seemed so scared, so lost." Why did I leave him? Why?

"Bella," Carlisle said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "You can't blame yourself. Not for one minute. He wouldn't want that. He died to protect you."

"I know." I did know that. But I wanted to protect him too. "It's just…this shouldn't have happened to him."

"That man, that horrible man had no right," Emmett agreed. I saw his hands turn to fists. "No right to take his life away," he nearly growled.

"Em," Alice said softly, putting her small hands over his huge fisted ones. "There's nothing you could have done to save him."

"Damn it!" Emmett exploded. "Like hell there's nothing I could have done. I'm his big brother!" He jumped off the bed and began pacing. His fist raised and for a second, I thought he was going to punch the wall. At the last second, he lowered his fist and his shoulders sunk in dejected. He went back to his place by Alice. Her arms went around his shoulders and she held her older brother as tears slipped from his eyes. "I should have been able to protect him," he finally whispered.

Their voices began to blur as I stared at the envelope with my name. I wanted to open it, but I didn't. I knew they were the last words he would ever say to me and I couldn't handle that. For a second I imagined what he must have felt as he wrote this letter. Fear, most definitely. God, he was so brave. To go face his monster head on, just to protect those he loved. To go to the gym, knowing what would happen. His words from lunch came back to me. I dreamt he came back and he hurt you. Bella, it was the most terrifying nightmare because he wasn't hurting me this time, he was hurting you. I can't handle that.

He had known then, I realized. And he had been trying to tell me why he would go alone. My poor, brave, beautiful angel. I sob broke through me and I turned my face into my knees. Instantly I felt hands on my back, trying to soothe me as the tears once again shuddered through me. I leaned into Esme and let her rock me as she whispered soothingly into my ear. "It'll okay honey," her voice was thick with her own tears. "He was good and innocent and pure."

"An angel," I murmured.

"Yes. He was meant to be ours," she continued, her voice rising to the rest of the people could hear. "I knew from the second I saw him in Chicago."

"I only wish we had found him sooner," Carlisle said sadly. I glanced up at him and saw his arms around Alice. "I wish we could have saved him from the horror he lived."

"I can't believe he was only here for almost three months," Alice put in. "I can't imagine our family without him."

Truer words had not been spoken. I could feel it and I'm sure the Cullens could do. The vast hole, the emptiness and the feeling of everything being incomplete that had been created in his absence.

"I'm glad we were able to give him some happiness though," Alice said, breaking the silence again. "His eyes were so troubled when he first came here. That look had faded."

"So much potential," Carlisle said softly. "He would have accomplished great things."

Esme shifted next to me and I saw the envelope back in her hand.

"You should open it, Mom," Alice said quietly.

She nodded and took a deep breath. Her finger slide beneath the flap and then she pulled the single sheet of paper out. "The police," she said, pausing before unfolding the paper. "Took the letters he wrote was forced to write. I hope they burn them."

I nodded fiercely, remembering Edward's words. Bella, the letter he had me write, it's not true. Please, don't even read it.

"He told me not to read it," I whispered.

"I can't believe his stepfather actually believed we would think he would kill himself," Emmett said, shaking his head. "Even if we hadn't caught him in the act I still wouldn't have believed Edward would do that. He was so happy, even with the shadows, he was happy here."

It was horrifying really, to think of what his stepfather had made him do. Write the letters, the cut his own wrist open. It made me sick to think about. I hated that he made my sweet Edward do that. Like Emmett said, he had no right.

"Do you want me to read it out loud?" Esme asked now. She had unfolded the letter and I saw Edward's beautiful script across the page.

"Yes, please," Carlisle said quietly. I saw Alice link her hand with Emmett's from her place against Carlisle's chest.

"Okay." Esme cleared her throat and began to read.

Dear Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Emmett.

I know you frantic right now, wondering where I am. I didn't mean to worry you, you have given me so much. So please, try to understand that I did what I had to do. My stepfather found me. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. He has been following me and he threatened all of your lives. I couldn't live if something happened to any of you because of me. I don't know how he got out of jail. But, I don't want to dwell on that right now.

I do want you to know how much you changed my life and how much respect I have for all of you. Thank you so much for opening your home and hearts to me. It means more to me than you can ever imagine. You are all wonderful people and my life was so much better because of you.

Carlisle and Esme, you are the parents I always wished I had. You have so much love to give and I am lucky to have been given a chance to know you. Even though it was only for a short time, please know that you made my life better.

Emmett and Alice, I've always been an only child but you showed what it would be like to have a brother and a sister. I found I love being a younger brother. You've also shown me true friendship and for that I will be forever grateful. Please tell Jasper and Rosalie thank you as well for making me feel as if I belonged. I never once felt like an outsider.

I love you. All of you.

Edward

Esme's voice broke several times while she read and tears flowed from every eye. When she finished, silence again descended on the room. The only sound was the occasional sniffle.

My earlier thought came back to me. He was so damn brave. I closed my eyes and tried not to see him writing that letter, his hands probably shaking, tears filling his beautiful green eyes. I tried not to see him walking out of the house for the last time and pulling up to the high school.

Instead, I focused on the happy times. His beautiful face lit up as he led me through a maze. His hands moving over my bare skin as he kissed me, sending tingling sparks all the way to my toes. That boy definitely knew how to kiss. I sighed and snuggled deeper into his sweatshirt. I remember the look in his eyes when he told me he loved me the first time. The way his long fingers glided over the piano, creating the most magical, powerful music that moved my heart every time he played.

When I opened my eyes again, the room was empty and sun streamed through the glass wall. I stretched out, raising my hands over my head as I yawned. For a second I wondered where Edward was and when he was coming back.

Then my hand hit the envelope and it all came crashing back to me. He wasn't coming back, he was gone. Forever. Sobs broke from me again and I curled up in a ball. I brought the envelope up to my face, the reality sinking in as my name blurred in front of my eyes.

After a while, the sobs slowed until it was just the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. I lifted my head and saw that it was just after two in the afternoon. I sat up and crossed my legs underneath me. I held the envelope and took a deep breath. I was alone. It was time to open my letter. I pulled out the sheet of paper, the tears making it difficult to see. I blinked several times before I was able to focus on the words. As I read, I had to stop many times to wait for my eyes to clear before I could continue.

Bella,

I don't even know what to say sweetheart. I am so sorry that I can not be with you. Do you remember the talk we had at the baseball field at lunch yesterday? What I told you wasn't a nightmare, but reality. He came back and I cannot fight him, not when he is threatening to take away the people that mean the most to me. I will not allow him to hurt you.

Be brave, my love. But more importantly, be happy, that is all I've ever wanted for you. Your smile is beautiful and a ray of sunshine in my life. Please don't deprive the world of it. Smile when you think of me and know that no matter where I am, I am thinking of you and the joy you brought to my life.

Look after my heart—I've left it with you.

I love you forever and always,

Edward

I traced the words with my finger. "Edward," I whispered to the letter. "I'll look after your heart. I promise. And I'll smile. Someday, I promise that too." I just couldn't promise when. Right now, it seemed impossible that I would ever smile again. I read the words again. And again. And again and again until I had the letter memorized and could see each word perfectly, despite the steady stream of tears.

Very carefully, I slid the paper back in the envelope. I folded it in half and slipped it into the pocket of his hoodie. Then I crawled off his bed and made my way downstairs.

I found the rest of the family in the kitchen. Rosalie and Jasper were there as well. They were sitting at the table, food getting cold from where it sat in front of them. No one ate, no one talked, no one moved.

I saw Carlisle's eyes flicker to me when I entered the room. "Hi honey," he said in a hoarse voice. His eyes were puffy and rimmed with red. I knew mine looked no better.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"School was cancelled for today," he continued quietly.

Like that mattered. I wouldn't have gone to school anyway. "Oh."

"We called Charlie," Esme said now, her voice just as raw as Carlisle's. "He knows you're here. He said it's okay if you stay here for the weekend."

Charlie. Oh yeah. I had forgotten about home. Right now, I couldn't imagine leaving this house. "Thanks," I managed. I turned then and left the kitchen. I walked into the living room, my feet taking me to the shiny black piano. I sat down on the bench and lifted the lid. Gently, I ran my fingers along the ivory keys. I tried to hear my lullaby, but it was faint and slow.

I wrapped my arms around my waist and leaned forward until my head touched the top of the piano. I closed my eyes and focused on the music I had heard him play so many times. It came slowly, but it came back. A poor imitation of the original, but I held on to it, playing it over and over again in my mind, desperate to keep the notes from fading from my memory.

After a while, I got up, my arms never letting go of my waist, and wandered to the living room. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie sat on the couches. The television was on, but it was obvious no one watched. I sat down on the lazy boy chair and pulled my knees up. My arms stayed wrapped tightly around me. My gaze went to Carlisle and Esme. She was leaning against her husband, his hand running up and down her arm. I turned my head and saw Emmett holding Rosalie in a similar position, only her hand tightly held on to his.

I looked away from both of them. Outside, the world turned dark again. I heard Esme mutter something about dinner and her and Carlisle went in the kitchen. Later, I joined the rest of the family, staring at the grilled cheese and soup. Again, most of the food went untouched.

Silently, I helped Esme and Alice wash the dishes. No one spoke, the silence penetrating the whole house. I knew we were all grieving in our own way.

Once the dishes were done, I made my way up the stairs and returned to his room. Again I sat in silence. I had made it through the day. It seemed insane to think that only three months ago, I hadn't known Edward Masen existed. How quickly he had become my whole world, the most important thing to me ever. I couldn't bear the thought that he was gone from me forever. It just didn't see possible. The tears came again as my mind rejected the idea of a lifetime without him. "Edward," I cried softly.

I wanted him back. I wanted his arms back around me, wanted his velvety voice saying he loved me. I wanted to hold his face in my hands and watch the shadows fade from the green depths of his eyes. I wanted to kiss him and run my fingers over his bare skin, his beautiful, scarred chest.

"God," I cried as I turned my face into his pillow. How was I supposed to do this? I willed sleep to come, to give my peace from the painful ache in my heart. I wanted to escape to my dreams where I could be with him. I closed my eyes and tried to force sleep to overtake me. I let myself drift and eventually, I slipped into that peaceful oblivion.

Saturday and Sunday continued much the same way. I wandered the house, drifting from his room, to the kitchen, to the piano. Always to the piano where I would let the notes of my song play in my head, forcing the notes in to the deep recesses of my memory. I would never forget it. I tried to talk to the others, tried to maintain a conversation, but it I always ended up silent.

I know the others were hurting just as much as I was. I saw it in their faces, always pale and streaked with tears. Eyes always red and puffy. Food was made and went mostly untouched. Not even Emmett ate the food.

We had all lost someone, a brother, a son, a friend.

On Sunday night, Carlisle told me he needed to take me home. That I should sleep in my own room so that I would be ready for school the next day. I groaned at the thought, but we, Emmett, Alice and I, had decided that we couldn't avoid school forever and that we should just get it over with.

I followed Carlisle out to his car. I avoided looking at the backseat. I noticed he did the same. "Carlisle," I said, my voice hoarse from disuse. "Thank you for bringing him to me."

"I am so glad he had you," Carlisle said. "You helped him heal so much." He nodded slowly. "I'm glad he was able to know love."

"You loved him too," I said softly. "He knew that."

Carlisle nodded again. "I know. But I'm glad he knew the love of a woman. The devotion and adoration from a girl like you. It makes me so happy to know that he was loved in every way."

"I will always love him," I mumbled, not sure if Carlisle heard me.

But I saw his hands tighten on the steering wheel. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't save him, Bella." His knuckles turned white.

"It's not your fault," I tried to make my voice soothing.

He shook his head. "I should have let you drive to the hospital. I should have tried to save him at the gym. Something!" his voice broke. "My own son died in the backseat of my car."

"You can't blame yourself." My heart broke for Carlisle and I tried to imagine how it must feel, to be a doctor and lose someone you care about the way he had.

"That's what Esme says." He wiped his face with the palm of his hand. "But I can't stop thinking that I should have been able to do something."

I reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "You did do something," I said softly, hoping I was saying the right words. "You opened your home to him, showed him that he deserved more than harsh words and beatings. You gave him a life."

We pulled to a stop in front of my house. For a long while, we sat in silence. "Thank you, Bella," he whispered. "You have no idea what your words mean to me."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You are a good man. Edward was so lucky that he found you."

"Same goes," he said looking at me. A small smile tilted his lips. "Are you coming over after school tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"Okay honey, I will see you then."

I nodded again and stepped out of the car. I waved goodbye, then headed into my own house. Again, a rush of memories blasted me as I walked up to the front porch. I put my hand in the pocket of his hoodie and gently touched the envelope. My other hand clutched the fabric over my heart.

The door opened as I was going up the steps and I saw Charlie there. "Bells," he said quietly. "How are you doing?" He felt awkward, I could tell. He never knew how to deal with my tears.

"Not so good," I whispered, the tears beginning again.

He nodded and pulled me to him. I leaned against him and closed my eyes. "He was good boy," Charlie muttered near my ear before letting go.

I nodded. "I'm going to go up to my room, k Dad?"

"Sure Bells."

I looked at Charlie for a second. "Love you Dad."

He nodded. "Back at you, kid."

I made my way up the stairs and then lay on my bed. I knew I needed rest. Tomorrow was going to be hell.

A/N And I'm crying. Again. Like I said, this was very difficult to write. But, I actually had more ideas for this than I thought, so I think there will be at least one more chapter, possibly more. So what did you think? Let me know. :o)

Oh! And who's excited for Saturday!? I can't WAIT to get the DVD. YES!