A promotion for a new series I'm working on, a Criminal Minds AU in the style of Modern Family!

Thank you, BleedinRosez3928 for the idea to use a trailer-style promotion, and you're encouragement of my project.

Well, without further ado... I hope you enjoy this taster of what's to come.

Voice Over: They're just like any other family…

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall-

Humpty was pushed, I tell you! PUSHED!

Voice Over: …Most of the time.

[Irritated Strauss] Really? I was having a moment with my grandson-

I know. I had to save him!

Voice Over: Starring David Rossi

Don't let my age fool you; I'll have you know my mind is like a steel trap!

What? Rusty and illegal in 37 states?

Voice Over: Emily Prentiss

Oh, please! Good girls are just bad girls that don't get caught. Which am I? Very, very… 'good'…

Voice Over: Jennifer Jareau

I get through life with a pinch of salt. [Hugs the girl in front of her, then leaves the room] and a slice of lemon… and a shot of tequila…

Voice Over: Penelope Garcia

My sweet buttercup, I have only ever been wrong once – and that is when I thought I was wrong.

Voice Over: Derek Morgan

Really? Spencer tells you there are, like, a billion stars in the sky, and you believe him, but when I say 'this paint is wet'… [Camera pans to a child covered in paint standing next to a child-sized shape smudged onto the wall]

Voice Over: Aaron Hotchner

[Rolls eyes] I'm a lawyer. [Opens car door] I deal with enough idiots and pointless feuds every week to know how to keep my cool. [Gets out the car and starts walking up the garden path. Sprinklers turn on and cover him in pink and gold paint]

Voice Over: Spencer Reid

Twit.

[Spencer lays a hand on his companions shoulder, encouraging him to let the stranger's insult slide.]

Don't worry, the joke's actually on him. Did you know 'Twit' is actually the scientific name for a pregnant goldfish?

Voice Over: And anyone else who would work for a free lunch

[A man with messy black curls watches as chaos erupts amongst the children, the oldest shouting at the youngest for making too much noise whilst the younger two argue over whose fault it was the now barking puppy is covered in orange juice.]

…Would you all please just shut up!

[All fall silent]

Well [Strauss raises an eyebrow] I can see you certainly picked up your father's parenting skills.

Actually, Mum, I learnt that one from you.

Voice Over: Modern Family, coming soon to a screen near you.