He didn't sweep her of her feet that very first day.
She was new and nervous and her thermos of tea had leaked on her PB & J, but she took a deep breath and smiled through it, like she promised herself she would.
They met in the hallway amongst the hurried, wide eyed juniors. He spoke and she studied the tiny lines on his face.
"Oh and Em? I'll let Principle Figgins know to keep soy milk in the faculty refridgerator for you"
Em.
Emma Pillsbury had never been gifted a moniker, not because she wasn't pleasant and friendly, but because she was earnest with her habits and her illness. Her name was spoken with delicate care, and she had never minded much at all.
But he called her Em. As if he knew all of her. It wasn't as if she was madly in love with him. She didn't dance around with naïve, romantic visions in her head. She was far too sensible for that. But even on that first day, she knew would do anything to make him happy. It was an undeniable, unflattering and un-sexy fact. Will Schuester became her number one priority and it was terrifying.
He kept calling her that and each time she would blink slowly and convince herself that it was all in her head. This beautiful, talented, married man was just being friendly. He wasn't falling in love with her.
They kissed. He loved her, he told her so.
It all got messy. But he still called her that sometimes when they polished grapes together and she lusted the warmth of his body but couldn't bring herself to tell him that.
He's in New York because he wanted so badly to go and because she told him to, again faking a smile.
At night she puts her hair in a ponytail, drinks tea from her WOHN mug and insists on celebrating her progress and strengths. The floor that goes unswept for a day, the fingerprint on the photo frame. She wonders if he's drinking more coffee now that he's a New Yorker.
She doesn't jump when the doorbell rings and Dr Shane would be proud. She doesn't even adjust her hair, she really is doing so well.
"Will! What are you doing here?" She's trying to sound shocked but she's grinning, she can't help it.
"Show's over. Told you I'd be back" his voice is just how she remembers it and somehow more amazing at the same time.
She can feel her head tilting slightly to study him some more, checking for signs of pain or regret, like she's been doing since the day she met him.
"I'm so sorry"
"Don't be. Honestly, I'm glad. My place is here" he's looking her in the eye.
"The kids have missed you"
His eyes are hooded, he's thinking and instead of clenching her fists by her side and bracing for disappointment, she waits, gives him time and enjoys the relief of finally seeing him again.
"You look beautiful, Em"
He did it again.
"I love it when you call me that" she blurts and blushes and looks to the floor, leaning against the doorframe.
"Em?" it's a whisper.
She nods coyly.
"Well then, Em" she laughs a little at the deliberate awkwardness. "Can I come in? I was hoping we could talk"
"Not yet" she stands up straighter and he's startled and she's said the wrong thing. "No, I mean if you want to talk about us, you and me and…." She's focusing on the wall behind his head "Will, I …. If I let you inside and we talk and decide that we can't have our shot again. Well. I can't do that. So, I'll say it now that I want to be with you and not because you helped me with my issues but because I have a little trouble sleeping when I don't know where you are. And I worry about you when you get stressed about Glee club and because you make me happy. Okay. You can talk now" Her words are cute and soft and clipped and they might make him explode from happiness.
"I love… I want us to try again" he can't contain his excitement. It's in his eyes and his body and he grabs her hand swiftly, taking in her skin under his fingertips.
She giggles and glows and bits of hair are falling on her face. She kisses him and he's pretty sure she's never done that before. Not on the mouth, not with her whole face so close to his he can hear the softest moan of want from her.
When it's over their bodies are touching. She's smiling again and she's never looked this happy.
"Come inside" she beams at him
"I think, if you don't mind, I'd rather take you out tonight. We could go on a real first date. You pick the restaurant" his arms are enveloping her.
"I'd need time to freshen up" her nerves made that nervous twitch and he knew she was thinking of her hair that was out of place, the tea going cold on her coffee table and the restaurant that would be totally unprepared for her diligence.
"Tell you what? I'll go home and unpack and be back in two hours. Does that work for you?"
She nods, her eyes holding a fearful expression.
"If it's too much, we can-"
"No! It's fine, that sounds wonderful"
"Okay, I'll be back" and he leaves her feeling more attractive and wanted than she ever has before. Their conversation repeats in her head while she curls her lashes and polishes her shoes, looking forward to hearing him call her name over and over again.