Disclaimer; I own nothing sadly. Everything is copyright Stephenie Meyer.
Rating: PG-13; Language, minor sexual references.
Warning: This is a Bella/Jacob story, so please be aware of this.
--Story takes place a couple weeks after she starts hanging out with Jake. Very AU obviously.
PS: Reviews are greatly appreciated! (And this is one of my first fanfics, so sorry if anything is off about formatting etc.) + Sorry it is not Beta'ed.
MY EVERYTHING
By smanfan
I lay still in my bed, watching the rare golden beams of sunlight filter through my window. It was rarely sunny in Forks, Washington so she should welcome the day with open arms. However, ever since a certain vegetarian had left town, I felt empty inside. Everyone it town knew it too. Charlie, Jessica, Angela, and even Billy Black and his son Jacob down at La Push were aware. Although Jacob probably knew more about it than most.
I did not care though, I drowned myself in a dark pool of sorrow, letting the light of day slowly fade from my life. Without Edward, there was no reason to wake up or enjoy the sunlight. No longer could I wander to the meadow with him and simply marvel at his glistening skin, or hide out in his room listening to sweet melodies his graceful fingers played across the piano keys. My life felt like some old, broken guitar left behind because the owner realized they could never make a truly beautiful song with such a rustic instrument.
I knew Edward did not love me anymore, and I was some broken guitar to him. I was the instrument that had to be handled carefully, for anything could break me, and I was scratched and beaten, not beautiful like a brand new Gibson. I tried to appreciate that at least for a moment in time, such a wonderful creature had been able to love me, the uncoordinated and quiet misfit amongst the human race.
My alarm clock sounded promptly at nine AM, and reached over and slammed down the 'off' button with a little more force than necessary. The black plastic clock fell to the floor with a clunk, but I carelessly left it there. It was Saturday, and I did in fact have plans however unlikely that seemed. I was going down the La Push to hang out with Jacob today. Every day I felt like I wanted to stay home and sulk, but I knew once I saw Jacob's cheerful smile I could help but get a little lost in his joyful mood.
I headed downstairs after pulling on a pair of board shorts, and a t-shirt that covered my blue bathing suit top. Jacob and I had planned this adventure out a few days ago, when they discovered the weather was going to be unnaturally kind to Forks for one day. The sun was shining, and the temperature was hovering at just about seventy, and very warm day, and highly unusual for the season. Of course I decided to take advantage of it by getting Jacob to surfing with me, in hopes hearing my senseless delusions of Edwards voice again.
Charlie greeted me, already at the door with his fishing gear. I bid him farewell and proceeded to grab two pop tarts and threw them in my backpack. Then I ran to my ancient red truck, and ate breakfast on the way down to La Push. I shoved the last bite of the strawberry pop tart into my mouth, as I pulled into the gravel lot that lead down to the beach. Jacob was already there, leaning against the Rabbit , his dark lips pulled back in a familiar grin. Somehow that smile always seemed to reach his dark eyes, lighting them up even though they were almost black.
"Hey Bells" He responded casually, but the happiness was evident in his voice. "Morning Jake, ready to risk our lives?" I asked, jumping out of the truck and looking into the bed where I had put the two surfboards I borrowed from Eric and Jessica. Jacob shook his head, pulling the surfboards out. "Naw, you mean am I ready to risk your life. I think we both know the whole healing super fast things makes me pretty safe." I stuck my tongue out at him, grabbed the board, and headed down to the beach in mock anger. Jacob had told me about the whole werewolf thing about a week ago. I remembered feeling a rush of relief, glad our friendship would survive what had happened to him. However I was wondering if everything I thought was fiction was actually real these days.
"C'mon Bella, wait up, you know it is helpful" Jacob matched his long stride with her short, quick steps. I looked over, waiting for him to convince me of how his healing would help me when I smashed into a rock. "I can save you now, since I won't get hurt I don't have to waste time worrying about myself, I simply have to worry about you staying alive." He said, stopping at the water's edge, still grinning although with a little arrogance this time. "Fine Jacob, you think you can keep me safe? I'm a danger magnet, so I'll bet you can't." I responded with a smirk of my own, two could play this game. Then I ran out into the cold waves, and could hear Jacob splashing through the water behind me.
The waves were a little larger than expected, but that made me welcome them more. I tried to ride a few waves and failed miserably. Jacob seemed to be failing as well, he admitted e never surfed before either. I paddled up beside, the air rushing out of my lungs as I sat up and relaxed on the board. Edward had not said anything, in fact he ad not in the past week. At first my insides cracked into painful pieces at not hearing the sweet velvet sound, but now I somehow found it to not be so painful. Sure I wished I could hear him, but the grinning Quileute boy next to me seemed to make up for some of what was lost.
"Bells" He said, breaking the peaceful silence, and running his fingers through his damp, short black hair. "I think we both suck at this. I say we give up and go ride the bikes." I did not respond right away, rather I found myself staring at Jacob's unusually muscular chest. Sure he was younger than me, but the werewolf genes sure helped him out when it came down to raw muscle. I had seen him with his shirt off before, but never really appreciated what was right in front of me. Right now tiny rivers of ocean water dripped down his russet skin, over the visible muscles that clung to his lean but hulking frame. "Bella?" His voice broke though my not so innocent thoughts, and I could feel my cheeks grow hot with the blush that was no doubt bright on my face right now. "uh, yea sure lets go" I said quickly and started paddling right away. I was praying he did not notice, or at least did not question my new discomfort.
As I got of the surfboard to carry it the remaining way to shore, Jacob did not ask, anything and that was something I always appreciated about him. He knew me inside and out, and also knew when to just leave well enough alone. I certainly could not get a better best friend, even if at times I had to remind him were only that. Except what about what I had been thinking earlier? Was I betraying Edward by thinking like that? I started to criticize myself but put it to a stop. No, c'mon Bella get it straight for once! He left me! He does not love me! I can't betray a love that no longer exists…. My thoughts were furious for once, rather than draped in misery of missing the runaway vampire. I had to admit I somewhat enjoyed the new freedom. However my blissful state was cut short as I felt my leg smash into a rock hidden beneath the water, and began tumbling forward at a fast pace towards another rock sticking out of the sand a few feet ahead.
Woosh! My breath was knocked out of me as a warm, but very hard arms reached around and grabbed me. Before I knew it Jacob had completely pulled me around to face him, holding my rather limp form tight against his chest. "Bella? Are you okay?" His brow was creased with worry, his deep brown eyes searching my own for any signs I was injured. I still felt like I could not breathe, but for a much different reason than bleeding or being hurt. Once again I was reacting in an unexpected way to Jacob. I was enjoying being wrapped safely in his arms, and the feeling of having not a single space between us. My heart started pumping an extra beat a minute, and I saw the worried frown leave Jacob's face. It changed to a look in his eyes I had seen many times before. His face was serious, but his ebon eyes were tender with an unrelenting love he felt for her. Usually I turned away at this moment and distracted him, but right now I found I was speechless.
Jacob slowly leaned down, moving one of his large but strangely gentle hands to the side of my face. His eyes never left mine, constantly watching to see if I would push him away. However all I could do was lick my lips in anticipation until his was mere centimeters from my face, our noses almost touching. "Jake…" I mumbled, it was weak resistance, and he saw right through it. In the next second I felt his lips brush over mine, and quickly forgot about my worries.
I did not respond right away, I was too used to being careful to not get killed. But Jacob used the hand still pressed again my back to pull me even closer, as the waves continued to rush around our legs, and the surfboards.. well I did not care where the damn surfboards were. I finally seemed to wake up, and responded to the kiss. I let my hands wrap around his neck, then move up to run my fingers through his still dripping hair. Jacob seemed to sight with content, then out of nowhere picked me up and spun us in a circle. A small yelp escaped my lips, but it was muffled by his own still clinging to mine. We both started laughing, but left our faces still only an inch apart. Jake rested my feet safely on the ground again, and I just stared at him for awhile. I expected to feel torn and confused….. but I only felt elated, free, and in love. I would never forget Edward as my first love, but he had left me, and I no longer felt the need to hold on desperately to what was. Now I could see what Jacob had been trying to tell me, I was seeing what could be. I searched his dark, gentle eyes, and knew my entire future was with the man standing before me. Happiness, safety, actual intimacy, and even children, it was all possible with Jake.
"That was…." Jacob could not stop the smile on his face, or the love that seemed to pump endlessly form his heart and pour out his eyes for me to see. "Perfect?" I responded, a small smile on my lips as well. He hugged me close, and I willing wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my face in his chest. I breathed in the sweet smell of forest and ivory soap, the comforting scent unique to Jacob. "I love you Bells" He whispered, his chin resting on the top of my head. "I know this took me awhile, but I love you too Jake. You're my best friend, and… just… everything." I spoke softly, with no better way to explain the avalanche of emotions cascading through me in this moment. Jacob sighed in agreement, understanding me as always.