Disclaimer: The usual; I don't own twilight just messing with her characters.

MY First Fanfic!!!! hope you like it. it's kinda short. please R&R!!! i want to know what i did wrong and how to fix it and i want only nice reveiws so don't take the time to write a mean one! or else your just a big meanie. and no one likes meanies.

Hope i did good!!

MaNnY

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BPOV

I stared at the pitch black shiny piano and could already hear the music coming out. Excitement rose in my chest as I sat down quickly my fingers itching to brush those ivory keys just one more time before I went to school. I pressed my fingers ever so slightly into the piano. The sound floated into my ears as my brain translated it into the language I knew best. I was off playing a melody from inside of me. I felt like each note was playing a part of my train of thought. Everything kinda faded out into my world where it was just me and the piano.

Then it all fell out when I heard the ring of Renee's friendly voice.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Time to go." Her voice said cheerfully as and glided away. I sighed, another day another time. I swiped up my book off the floor and was out the piano room door in one graceful move. Stepping down the staircase skipping five or so stairs at a time meeting Renee in the kitchen to my left.

"Bye." I said a little darker than I intended.

A wave of forest air hit me hard. I smelled and heard everything for a couple miles out. I smelled a few squirrels and heard their pitter patter. Birds sang closely related to whistling. Evergreen trees swayed. The usual. The usual was getting a little too usual for me but for Renee it was pretty inconsistent with her new ideas bursting everyday. One of the many things Charlie loved about her. He was pretty much like me. Content and happy with the simple things in life. But a side from Charlie's gray personality Renee looked at his everyday stories like the were better than CNN. I laugh quietly. She was so easily entertained.

When I arrived at school in my nice shiny black beautiful Volvo people stared and sighed at my obnoxious beauty that no one could ever have for different reasons of course. But there was a new buzz at school. A new student? Edward? My god these people have nothing interesting in their lives? But then again we're in forks. Then like a sudden brick wall on a highway I smelled it. It was delicious my mouth watered and filled and was burning venom as I smelled and half tasted the human blood. I felt my veins crack with the lack of human blood. When was the last time we went hunting? Last weekend? By god I could think this smell was so over powering, I covered my nose with my mouth to resist my self from biting every neck in this school. How long would that take? About five minutes? The venom sloshed in my mouth as the smell got closer to my car. And closer and closer. I couldn't take it anymore. I dashed and human running speed that would probably break records into the all green no brown forest. I kept on breathing through my hand but the smell was still faintly on my clothes and on my hand. I shook my body to get the smell off of me and zoned into human mids of our school.

Omigod do you see him? I can't feel my heart is beating so fast! He's- he's gonna be mine.

That's their family? Are the descendants of gods?!? how do people get that pretty?

I searched the offices people minds telling them me their names. Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Emmet, Jasper. Strange names

I figured the smell of one of them would be over and I started to walk back at vampire pace until I go to the school grounds. No. the smell was still there. I decided not to breath so I wouldn't have to smell anything. Not breathing was slightly uncomfortable but I got over it and walked quickly into the the small school.

The bell rang very loudly right as I was passing it. Oh great I was late to class. I rolled my eyes. I knew everything that happened in calculus, so what was the big deal?

I had finished the first four periods with Edwards (I had found out) scent still tracing some of the hallways. Until I came to lunch. Lunch was usually my haven from all the kids but it was the most time taken away from me is the people's voices still buzzing through my head with stupid thoughts

I swam by classes like any other day except for the occasional breath of air that made my brain buzz. The smell was so sweet and intoxicating. It was nothing I ever smelled. I felt like a druggie waiting to get a free packet. I gave up not breathing and went on. I couldn't talk through the venom or else I would have spilled out made a hole through the table and I would end up being a science experiment on CNN. Not going to happen. All though not talking wasn't hard, nerve in my body wanted to leap up join my vamp reflexes and bite the new kids neck. I had seen pictures of him through Jessica Stanley's eyes ,which couldn't keep to herself, and he wasn't half bad. His skin was almost as pale as mine and his eyes were a as green as the forest outside right now he had tousled bronze hair and a thinner body unlike his two brothers that were both stronger than the normal person in forks Washington. about what was happening right now. And a few thoughts here and there of history and the occasional interesting subjects and points of views. But nothing out of the ordinary of a new kids coming to forks high. The big family group separated group of people they had become friends with. And normally I would just get my book my ipod and zone everybody's minds and voices. But no. Renee had to take away my ipod because she said I wasn't enjoying my unfortunately long life and doing nothing but reading, playing piano and being thirsty. Honestly she can't blame me. Nothing and no one special had come to this dreadfully boring town and fascinated me.

I smelled it again. That citracey flowery smell floating around the cafeteria my head jerked around for Edward Cullen as soon as my eyes set on him I couldn't stop staring it was not only extremely irritating that I could not read his mind but also that I couldn't whatsoever stop breathing him in. My veins cracked, my head screamed, and I was thirstier than ever before. The smell came closer and the venom sloshed in my mouth I pressed my lips together as I felt my will power slip away painfully slowly but noticeably. Why was his blood different? What about him made him smell so good? What seemed like four hours was of half an hour of lunch, later the bell rang and I had never been happier in my life to hear that godforsaken bell.

I walked out of subconsciousness to biology 2 still dizzied from Edward's scent. The hallways were as they were always plain white everywhere, shiny floors and the occasional open window to look at the dreadful rain from day to day. I walked into biology class where I could see a light misty drizzle that was begging to take place outside. I breathed out a sigh of relief to not smell Edward's scent near building six. But then again. I bit my toung. He was slightly lost when Jessica came to the rescue. I listened in on their conversation.

Need any help Edward? You seemed pretty lost. He looked at her unsure of what to say.

Uhhh... yeah. Where's building six I have biology2 next.

Right over there. She said pointing at the building I was in.

thanks. He said half smiling. Shit. He had me in the next class. the tardy bell rang and he still wasn't here. Maybe he decided to skip? Hopefully he did because he probably would've made me hunt. What was the risk I thought to myself. What was the huge problem with just having one little human? I felt sick to my stomach with the trouble that would cost me with Charlie, Renee, let alone the vultary for exposing us. I sighed and smelled oranges. Edward smelled like orange. Shit I don't think I can take this anymore. He walked into the classroom with a girl named Angela and handed Mr. Banner a slip to sign.

"Great Edward you can go sit by Bella." he pointed in my direction Oh no. I stared at him involuntarily in horror. I leaned as far away from Edwards chair as possible. The hand on my lap scrunched into a ball while the other covered my mouth. But I could still smell him. Mr. Banner stood in front giving a lecture about cellular anatomy but all I could pay attention to was Edward peeking at me. I imagined looking at me in this state. It was probably very rude and disturbing to someone you first met but I didn't care. He needed to be away from me. Far, far away from me. If my frustration got any further from not being able to read his mind I would probably kill him in a flash. I wasn't living on will power anymore it was more like being in pure fear of being exposed. The bell rang an I jumped out of my seat and was out the door before anyone else was done organizing their stuff.

I thought my next subject. Math. I usually used it to get my mind off things which was usually a good thing right?

~ * ~

Not right. Math was terrible. I didn't focus on any of the work because of a kid named Mike that was apparently in my biology 2 class had seen me act oddly towards Edward and was talking to Edward right now.

So that wasn't her normal behavior? He asked not surprised.

Nope not at all. She looked like he was in pain for some reason. Mike said questioned

Edward shrugged his shoulders.

That Bella is the weirdest kid. She never talks to anyone. She never dates and she always knows the right answer in class.

Edward had the most horrible P.E. It was volleyball and he wasn't the most talented person in sports. But he could do them just fine. Thinking back to biology, I had to get out of that class I cannot last that long everyday. What about the days when we haven't gone hunting in a while? I could barely last those days with out the pressure of someone smelling so good. I would have definitely killed someone. The bell rang for the 16th time that day signaling the end of 8th period. I dashed out to the office not bothering if I bumped anyone.

"Oh, hello Bella!" the secretary said surprised I was here. I gave her my sweetest smile using a little bit of my power to persuade her into letting me change classes "what can I do for you today."

"Um, actually I was wondering if you could put me in a different biology 2 class that one isn't working out for me as it should." I shrugged innocently.

"Oh." her voice faltering a little bit. She breathed in with her teeth closed "I donno, Bella, those classes are pretty full. I don't think you can switch." I got frustrated and even more frustrated as Edward walked through the door. I turned slowly but stiffly to take a look at him. I hate you I thought to myself.

I looked back at the secretary. "Thank you so much for your help I think I'll be okay. Bye" I say in my happy voice leaving the carpeted cramped office not giving one more deathly look at Edward.

~*~

At home I sat on my black leather couch listing the recorded music that I played. Come to think of it my music described what I thought of myself. Monstrous, creepy, scary, and hollowy. I stared at my hands. I could see the blue veins tracing through them like a portrait. It was all beautiful, so we attract our favorite snack. Humans. Which was exactly what Edward was. A delicious human. I looked more closer at my hands. The hand that could easily crush Edwards and just to taste his blood... I was out of it. I slid off the couch making sure I fell on the floor. No pain. I've don this act a million times and keep hoping its different the next time. Sliding off the couch falling on to the beige carpet floor. Usually I did it repetitively for hope that the next time I fall I will feel it and magically become human and be able to love and have kids like a normal family. But this time I didn't. I slid off and laid there on the floor. My room was made out of glass windows and doors. I stared looking a little humming bird fluttering out of my window. It was staring at me. I could hear it's heart beating extremely fast. I gracefully and slowly got up my silky black-brown hair caught up with my body and the humming bird was still just flapping there. I walked toward the nearest glass door that lead to the balcony. I slid it open with the bird still there flapping its little wings. I walked very silently out to the white balcony and held two fingers out the way I saw animal savers on T.V. do with birds. Surprisingly it didn't move.

With my eyes I tried to persuade it to come closer. It did. It flew right onto my fingers. My heart felt like it was melting. I felt warmer than ever before. It didn't mind my ice-cold skin, or my fingers brushing its feathers from it head to its tail-feathers.

"You are mine." I said brushing its head feathers. I walked inside closing the door behind me and set the little bird down on my couch.

"Stay here." feeling like a little girl taking care of her baby doll. I dashed out the door all the way outside it felt fresh even though the sky was threatening to rain. I shoved my keys into my nice Volvo opening the door then slammed the door inside turning on the car and speeding down to the Newtons convenience store.

"Oh, hi there Bella! I wasn't expecting to see you here. Is there any thing I can help you with?" she asked. She was a pretty regular woman. Though she was shorter than me she had tons of freckles all over her cheek-bones wild reddish hair was pulled back into a pony tail she had a green apron on over her beige shirt and a warm smiling face.

"I think I need bird food a cage and other things for birds." I asked suddenly unsure if they had some.

"We have bird food but I don't think we have a cage you might have to go into town to get that." she said sadly. I had made a rule once and almost forgot about it. If it doesn't work out the first time it wasn't meant to be. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair debating if I should buy the food and go into Seattle or buy the food only.

"I'll take the bird food." she went and got it then rang it up.

"Thanks" I said politely and left to the store. I quickly left the store. I froze when I saw and smelled Edward was walking and laughing with a little girl with spiked hair and hazel yellow eyes like mine. But they had sparks of brown in them. As I tried to move my legs towards my car he waved off the little girl and started walking towards me. Venom came sloshing into my mouth at precisely the wrong time. My keens buckled under me and my palms greased with perspiration. And my breathing turned on and off not deciding if it wanted to smell his beautiful scent and not be able to talk or to not smell and not talk. I decided to not smell him. He approached me and stopped I felt like we were way to close.

"Isabella, right?"

"Bella." I said through pressed lips. He had deep green eyes that swallow me whole. His skin was fair, soft and was radiating heat that was a little too comforting his bronze hair was everywhere and his lips were full and almost the same color as his skin.

"Bella. Hi. I'm Edward nice to meet you." he said with an obnoxiously happy hopeful and heart-melting grin. He stuck out his hand and I could hear his pulse through it. I knew if I took it I would have a high risk of biting and tasting the hot warm liquid and he would feel how cold my hand was. Instead with using a cold voice I said, "I got to get to my car." and swerved past him finally able to move. I felt his eyes on my back as I walked to the black blur of a car. Sliding into safety from his eyes I let out a big huff a sigh. He made me feel like I couldn't move. Why couldn't I move? I let out a loud and ferocious growl from the depths of my throat. I felt better but I still couldn't believe that a single human could have so much control over me. With that thought in mind I back out of my parking space and drove away driving 60 mph.

After driving this way for about two minutes I was stopped by a forks police car with the brightest possible red and blue lights. I looked in the rear view mirror to find Charlie shaking his head. I rolled my window down. And stared at Charlie's content face.

"tsk tsk Bella. I expected you to drive slower at the risk of humans lives." his said jokingly. He was playing cop with me and I really didn't feel like playing.

"yeah well maybe the stupid humans should watch for creepy vampires not caring about a stupid single heart beating." I responded not realizing how angry I was at myself for being so vampire next a human.

"Has someone made Bella mad?" Charlie said comically.

"No one but myself." I sighed.

"Bella you have got to stop beating your self up. All you see is a very dark side but everyone else sees a great person. You have to start thinking happily." I looked at Charlie's face. That was the most he said in one period of time than in my entire life. He looked so serious. His face set and his brown eyes poured into mine seeing way to deep into my soul. I looked away feeling heavy and sad. Very very sad.

"Not now Charlie." I said and drove away probably ran over his foot. He probably winced. After a few miles I drove right through forks out into the woods of nowhere turned off the road, and pulled myself into a ball and choked out loud tearless sobs. I kept crying for I don't know how long. My chest hurt from heaving so much and my ice box heart felt like it was sobbing even harder than I was. why couldn't anyone see me for the monster I am? Why couldn't Edward and everyone else stay away from horrible, ugly, flesh-eating, Bella? I am nothing. I am a monster like big foot or, or, something else hedious. I didn't see the point in living if I was going to kill many more lives. Many more families and lovers. Many more bears, deer, and beautiful life living creatures. Every time I looked into their brown eyes I saw pleads and pain. Why did I have to inflict so much pain?to animals and myself? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts, and started my car. Pulling onto the road heading home.