"So tell me again, how do you have a daughter?"
Carol was confused at Daryl, after they found a half-unconcious little girl that he claimed as "his".
"Well actually...I have two"
"What?! How?!"
"Um, well...Where do you want me to start, Gabbi or Joey?"
"Which one came first?"
"Joey's older, if thats what your asking"
Carol hesitated to ask, "By how much, exactly?"
"Well, Gabbi's four and Joey's twelve"
"She's twelve! Daryl, how come I dont know this?!"
He ran his hand through his hair and stared out the window. Gabbi wiggled in his arms a bit.
"Its a touchy subject, Carol"
She stopped the car, the only reason she was driving was that, as a mother, she knew he couldn't possibly do it himself. She placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Tell me"
He was only about eighteen when the first baby got left on his door-step. He had just flunked out of high school and didn't exactly know what to do, so he went to live with Merle, not the best decision he ever made, but it helped to be with his brother. Merle got in a fight with him the night that Joey got left with them.
"Well then you tell me how the hell we're gonna take care of a baby, Daryl!"
"Hey, you're the one that pushed me to have sex with this random chick!"
Merle slammed his hand against the wall "Shit, Daryl"
"Hey, you wake her up, you gonna be the one putt'n her back to sleep! And that took the both of us like an hour to do so shut up!"
Daryl started to walk away when Merle snapped back, "Hey, Daryl?"
"What?"
"There's this new fangled thing called a 'condom'" Daryl started walking away again, "Ever heard of that?! they work too, its like magic!"
Daryl went into is room and fell asleep to Merle's laughter.
The next morning they were watching her wiggle around on Daryl's old baby blanket. Merle got considerably bored very soon.
"I kinda wanna throw a cheerio at her"
Daryl glared at him "I kinda wanna throw a cheerio at you"
"Whoa! I was kidding! I'm trying to be fun!" But they both knew that was a lie. He glared at him again and dumped Merle's bowl of cheerios all over his shirt.
"Damn it!" He got up to change
"What you're the only one in this house who dont eat em' dry! It had to happen sooner or later!"
He came back about ten minutes later, "So what are you gonna name her?"
"I was thinking about naming her after mom"
The room got tense and Merle hated that "Slut?"
Daryl sighed "Yes Merle, I'm naming my newborn baby Slut"
"Well its original"
"Its something"
"You're lying"
"Genius...Josephina"
"What?"
"I wanna name her Josephina, after mom"
He paused, "I thought her name was Virginia"
"No, man, she smoked Virginia Slims, her name was Josephina"
"But she's a baby"
"So?"
"Thats a long name for a baby!"
"What"
"Well, I mean she's so teenie tiny and that name is like two, six...nine! Nine letters long! And I mean she doesn't even know what a letter is!"
"Well it aint your decision know is it?"
"I mean if you dont want my advice then fine! Just trying to help my brother in his time of need and"
"Wait! My time of need? No, I never asked for your help!"
"I'm family! You don't get to ask! It comes naturally!"
Daryl found a stray cheerio on the table, he threw it at Merle "Screw you!"
"Damn it"
He sat on the couch next to Daryl when he was trying, and failing, to change her diaper.
"No no no no, don't do it that way, no thats worse, just ya know what let me do it"
He started to put the diaper back on then handed her back to Daryl
"How the hell did you do that?"
"I had practice"
"What how?"
"You think you were born potty trained?"
"Aww Merle gross"
"Hey all babies are the same...They crap all the time"
"Just stop, Merle, stop"
A couple months later when she could sit up and play with stuff...and or Merle...Merle would not for the life of him leave her alone, he bought a bunch of baby toys for her and honestly...he played with them more than she did. And one night when Daryl came home Merle said "Daryl if you ever ever get rid of this kid I'll kill you"
"What?"
"She's like the best toy i've ever had, i mean, she's more fun then you ever were"
"What about Gabbi?"
"Hang on, I'm getting to it"
"Wait, just one thing"
"What?"
"You don't eat cheerios with milk?"
Carol was laughing and Daryl tried not to, "Shut up"
"Well it's funny, I can't help it!"
"Hey Merle was the only one, Joey never did and neither does Gabbi"
"Fine, I just think it's wrong"
"Well ya know how people say that things taste better while eating it with their fingers?"
"Yeah"
"It's easier to eat with your fingers dry"
"Fine...Now explain Gabbi!"
Gabbi was pretty much the same story as Joey, except her mom actually came to the door and handed her to Merle just saying to give it to his brother.
"Damn it, Daryl we can't keep doin' this!"
"Well...She said she had birth control!"
"Well she was wrong!"
"I think she would know if she took a pill every day"
"Is that even how it works?"
"I don't know! I don't care!"
"Well you should it's your kid!"
Daryl turned around and hit his head on the wall "Daryl, we can't afford the one we already have, she needs stuff and so will that one! Remember the time that we almost left her at the mall because we couldn't afford anything else?!"
"We never did that"
"Well...No, I did"
"What?! Merle are you trying to give away my children?!"
"No"
"You're the one who threatened me not to give her away! Traitor!"
"I'll be honest, I was a little high when this happened"
"This is why I write on all your little baggies that you keep your shit in, this is why i put 'When in use, do not operate children' Do you not read what I put on those bags!"
"I don't understand the question"
"Screw you!" he started to walk away "And give me my baby"
Later Joey came home from school and got really excited about the baby that she was now sharing a room with.
"Can I name her, Daddy?!"
He really had no idea what to name the baby so he decided it wouldn't be all that bad to let Joey do it "Sure"
She had to think for a minute "I like Gabriella, its fun and pretty!"
And honestly Daryl liked the ring of it "Alright then, its Gabriella"
She waved down at the wiggling little girl "Hi Gabbi"
Merle wasn't satisfied "Wait, so again with the whole 'little baby, long name' thing, really?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"The kid aint gonna be able to spell her name!"
"Have you ever noticed that I don't call Joey Josephina? We aint gonna call her Gabriella, we gonna call her Gabbi, like how Joey's Joey"
"You make everything confusing"
And when Joey wasn't looking Daryl went over her head and flipped Merle off, Merle mouthed back to him "Dick!"