You are nervous.
Nervous because this is the first time he's touching you.
Not in the way he's touched you before. Or how he's traced his fingers to your wide, thin lips, and caressed your face.
No. He is touching you with a different intimation.
He grips your thighs and slowly brings his hands to the hem of your shirt. You look at his eyes, which are looking at your exposed skin. He lingers for a second and then dives and nudges your belly with his nose. He sighs and finally goes back to your shirt. You feel the cool air hit your chest when he finally takes your shirt off.
He traces abstract patterns on your chest as he lays his head on of your shoulder. He takes a deep, long breath and begins kissing your neck. It tickles like the raindrops you so loved as a kid. It brings you a nostalgic feeling, but you ignore it.
He's going slow, but he had already warned you he would. You ignore that as well because you should be salvaging all his movements. Like the one he's making toward your jeans right now. Your button goes undone and he wiggles your jeans off. He doesn't take as much time with them as your shirt because, he has a clear motive.
Once he's taken every piece of clothing off of you, he leaves the bed and takes a few steps back. He stares at you and you feel his eyes everywhere.
You are not embarrassed.
You stopped being embarrassed the moment he agreed. And he only agreed because you asked him. He never rushed you. That had been his only condition; for you to ask him. And you did, and you never felt braver. Braver than the time Scott and you went into the woods that one night searching for the dead body. You were scared, but you ignored it.
He's still staring at you when you look from the ceiling to him. His kaleidoscope eyes are glazed. He doesn't stop staring at you as he takes his shirt off. Your eyes focus on the structure of his shoulders.
In another second his jeans and underwear are gone as well. He's hard. And suddenly you become hard.
He walks slowly towards you, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach as he puts his hands on your hips. He kisses you slowly. His lips are soft and warm and he tastes delectable.
He pulls away and reaches for the cabinet. He pours a good amount of the liquid from the small bottle in his fingers and his eyes snap back at yours. He asks you if you're sure again, and this will be the final time he asks you. You simply nod your head.
His lip twitches slightly to the side and you spread your legs, holding back a wince when a cold finger presses on your small hole. His head is back on your shoulder, and he pushes a finger inside. You gasp and hug him.
You feel a different sensation; not the one you feel when you do it. This is nothing like you. This is something completely wonderful.
He's worked you up to three fingers and you ask for another. He hesitates, but complies. You're holding on to him tighter.
The moment he feels you are ready, you feel it too. He carefully let's go and you gasp louder this time.
Your cock twitches ferociously as his traces his work. And then he's finally inside you, and your back arches rapidly. You trace your hands all over his back, and it's nothing but miles of smooth silk.
You love what he's doing to you because you've never felt something more gratifying than this. You open your legs wider and plead for more; your wish becomes his command.
You look up at him and his eyes are closed but his mouth is half open. There are beads of sweat on his forehead and you find that immensely sexy.
You're dripping and are so close, but you hold it. You hold it even though the movements of his hips are magical. You plan for unison. You're intoxicated by his everything at this point and you're groaning like you've never groaned before. When he pulls out, you feel like you're levitating.
He finally opens his eyes and you give him a small smile. You grab him, and then grab yourself. He makes a small noise when your cock touches his. You twist your wrist with such precision, reaching perfection. And then finally you come and a few seconds later, he comes.
He sucks in a breath and falls on you. He's heavy, but you're fine with it. You run a hand through his hair and he shivers.
He gets off of you and moves you to rest your head on his chest. He traces your hip as you trace the hair on his chest. You don't speak and he doesn't say anything. You're both covered in each other, but that doesn't matter.
After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks. He tells you he loves you and your heart skips a beat.
He's told you countless times that he loves you, but never like this. His tone is different. His eyes are different. Everything is different about those three words. It makes you so happy you have to hold back tears.
Never did you imagine you would have someone like him in your life. Someone who would do anything for you.
You kiss him. And this time it's heated and rushed and he let's you control him. You give him a final peck and then place your forehead to his.
"I love you, Derek," you reply.