Grief
By Torina Archelda
The third installment in the Pathos drabble series by Torina Archelda and atypicalsnowman. Harry and Severus attend the memorial service of Sirius Black.
Previous installment: .
Next installment: to be written
Grief
"Really, Severus," Harry said softly as he straightened his tie, a thousand different emotions running through him. "You don't have to come."
Severus' gaze roved over him in the mirror as he came up behind him, and he smoothed down a lock of Harry's hair and brushed an invisible speck of lint from his shoulder before wrapping his arms around his waist. "Of course I do," he replied, tightening his grip as Harry leaned back into him and grasped his wrists, holding on for dear life. "I won't let you face this alone. It is the first chance you have had to truly mourn his passing. It will be a far more emotional experience than you expect, Harry. But I will be there for you. I won't leave your side for a moment, I promise."
Harry sagged in his arms as his eyes fell closed, relief now the predominant emotion among the sea of them flowing inside him. "It's been over two years, Severus," he said hoarsely, trying to keep a hold of himself. "Why do I still feel like I want to cry?"
"Because you have not had the chance to mourn him," Severus repeated, and Harry latched onto his words; let them give him strength. "You spent the year and a half after his passing being thrust into one awful situation after another, never having a moment to rest. You were made to carry the burden of a man far before reaching adulthood; unable to focus on yourself while forced to take responsibility for the lives of others. Truly, Harry, our relationship is the first true pleasure you have allowed yourself since his death and the whirlwind of events that you were thrust into afterward. And you have never allowed yourself time for grief. It is all right to feel this way now, Harry. And I will hold you through it."
The tears were falling now, hot and wet against his cheeks, and Severus bent his head to kiss them away. "It's all right, Harry," he said again, and though Harry knew he was gripping his lover's wrists to the point of pain Severus made no move to pull away from his embrace.
After a moment Harry turned around and surveyed Severus' appearance, finding no fault with it but smoothing his hands down his chest anyway, both to feel useful and to feel the warmth of his lover's body. Harry grasped his hand when he was ready to go, and they walked through their bedroom and toward the fireplace together. Harry took a handful of floo powder from the jar on the mantle, and was proud that he kept his voice from shaking as he called out, "Kindlewood Memorial Center, Green Room." Sirius' favorite color.
And he and Severus walked through the flames hand in hand.