ha! so, i started this story a looooong time ago. finally got around to finishing it.
well, i really like how it came out. i love the plot. and if you dont get it at first, you'll understand what's going on when heero figures it out XD
so yeah, sadly, this one turned out to be 2x1... but that's only because heero doesnt really have the capacity to be a seme... not yet, at least X)
OH! and if you havent already read it, reading the beginning of heero's part in Episode Zero would really help. if you dont read it tho, its okay.
well, enjoy!
Heero's Nightmare
Heero bolted upright in bed, drenched in sweat, his body trembling. He was absolutely terrified. He gasped for air, grasping his chest. He had felt it, felt the bullet go right through his heart, but he was still alive, still breathing.
No…
That can't have happened. I don't even know who that man is!
Heero had just had a nightmare; and a terrible one at that.
Shakily, he rose from his bed, kicking the sheets to the floor. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, trying to calm down.
Why do I feel like this? Why am I so scared from just a nightmare? Why did it feel so real?
Heero stumbled out of his room and downstairs, not noticing that the other bed in his room, Duo's, was empty. Even though it was the dead of night, the safe house was not silent. Strangely enough, the Deathscythe pilot was curled up on the sofa, watching some cheesy documentary about the 'history of assassins around the world'… or something like that.
Duo noticed Heero, who was looking more worse-for-wear than usual. "Hey, Hee-chan. Can't sleep either?"
Cobalt eyes closed as he shook his head, too disturbed to speak. He took a seat next to the other pilot, pulling a blanket over his still trembling form.
There was silence between the two as the TV droned on. Heero was lost in his thoughts, wondering about the dream that had plagued his mind, shaking him to the very core.
He didn't recognize the man in his nightmare, but something about him had been so familiar, even though he couldn't imagine how.
With a shiver, Heero curled into himself more. He glanced outside the window through the gap in the blinds; it was still pitch black out.
"Duo… what time is it?" he asked, still keeping his eyes on the window.
The braided pilot clicked the remote, looking at the time on the TV, "It's almost three thirty," he said.
Heero didn't reply, instead he got up and trudged back upstairs. He collapsed onto his bed, face buried in his pillow. He curled into the blanket from downstairs, too lazy to pick up his sheets from the floor. The Wing pilot tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep again.
It wasn't for another few hours until Heero had calmed down enough to possibly fall asleep. However, by then, he needed to get up and start the day. He didn't want the other pilots in the safe-house thinking there was something strange going on if he didn't wake up until late in the morning; because Heero Yuy never slept in. Even on weekends.
The Wing pilot went and got ready, and then carried on with his day. He was able to forget his nightmare… until he finally climbed into bed that night. However, he merely told himself that it was just a dream, and that it would never return. He fell asleep with that thought in mind, wishing for it to be true.
. . .
He was talking to people. Just talking; speaking about the future and the peace that would, undoubtedly, come with it. He didn't even notice as the sniper several feet above positioned his rifle, ready to take his life.
He should've noticed that sniper. His men should've noticed him; gotten him out of the way in time. But no; not this time, they wouldn't save him this time.
He didn't know what hit him as the bullet blasted through his heart. In the last few moments of his life, as he crumpled to the ground, he saw him. He saw the sniper, smiling grimly in accomplishment.
Heero bolted upright again, in the same state as the night before. That damn dream came back, and this time it was longer; he didn't notice the assassin last time. However, he barely got a glimpse of the man, but that was to be expected of only a dream.
He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, trying to still himself. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears.
Duo lay awake in his bed across the room; the sound of Heero mumbling in his sleep had woken him up only moments before. For the few minutes that the Japanese teen had still been asleep, Duo had watched him toss and turn; a tortured expression on his sleeping face. He was obviously having a nightmare; and a bad one at that.
. . .
The next night was the same, but the nightmare was slightly different.
This time, Heero had gotten to see the dream's sniper longer, if only through blurred vision. He still had no clue what this nightmare was about.
However, Heero's dream was still utterly terrifying.
As he sat on the edge of the bed, trembling, Heero nearly jumped as Duo spoke from across the room.
The other pilot propped himself up on one elbow, "Hey Hee-chan, you ok? Seems like you're having some nasty nightmares."
Heero nodded, still too scared to speak. Nasty wasn't even close to describing his nightmare. It was so real.
. . .
By the third day of having the nightmare, Heero was starting to become aware of how tired he was. He was yawning all hours of the day, he was having trouble staying focused and his entire body ached. The Wing pilot was simply losing too much sleep, and he was unable to make up for it.
As he was working on his Gundam that afternoon, he didn't even notice as his head fell and he dozed off for a few moments. It wasn't until he almost fell from where he had been working, that he was brought back to his senses.
Later that evening, Quatre questioned him about how he was feeling, taking note of the empty look in his half-lidded eyes. Heero had simply dismissed the blonde, saying that there was nothing wrong, and he was just a little tired. Quatre didn't believe him.
That night, before going to bed, Heero dug around in the medicine cabinet for some sleeping pills. He hoped they would let him sleep deeply enough to fend off his personal nightmare.
Twice as drowsy as he had been during the day, Heero climbed into bed. He was asleep before the medicine even got a chance to drag him under.
However, the dream still returned; only this time, Heero found it harder to wake up. Because shock and fear were to slow to wake him, Heero's dream was much more detailed than before.
He watched, through eyes that were not his own, as the sniper from every night aimed and fired.
Heero could see the man's face this time, though he could not recognize it. However, he felt something he never had before during this nightmare; the feeling that he knew exactly what was going on. Only the feeling was just out of his reach, he couldn't quite grasp this idea enough to make it coherent... it was just far enough that his fingertips could brush against it, but he could not pull it in, he couldn't understand… not yet.
Heero bolted upright for the fourth night in a row. Gasping, sweating, clutching his chest; he was somewhat used to this now.
Looking at the clock, he saw that it was just past midnight; Duo hadn't even gone to bed yet.
Shakily, tiredly, Heero stood and made his way to the bathroom to stare at his reflection in the mirror. He felt incredibly out of it from the sleeping medication he had taken only a few hours ago, but he knew he wouldn't be going back to sleep tonight.
. . .
Duo and the others were incredibly worried about Heero. The Wing Zero pilot was constantly yawning and having trouble keeping focused. It was obvious he wasn't getting enough sleep.
On the third day, the four pilots had discussed Heero's situation, only to come to a bit of a dead end.
"I honestly don't know what we can do for him. Heero definitely isn't the type to tell us what's wrong, even if we all know he's having nightmares," said Quatre, worry obvious in his voice.
"Exactly. He's not gonna tell us anything or let us do anything, so we should just—" Duo was cut off by Trowa.
"—Wait until he's incapable of resisting. Then we'll be able to get him the necessary attention to fix this," finished Trowa, smirking at Duo, only to receive a stuck-out tongue from the other pilot.
"Barton and Maxwell are correct. Even someone as stubborn as Yuy can only last for so long without proper sleep," added Wufei.
"Yes, so all we can do for now is keep a close eye on Heero and make sure he doesn't get into anything too serious. The last thing we need is the 'perfect soldier' shooting down hallucinations of Ms. Peacecraft," said Quatre, hardly suppressing a laugh, "Although we wouldn't really mind if she left us all alone after finding out that her prince finally snapped…"
The other pilots laughed before returning to what they had been doing. They were all going to take turns watching Heero; whether it was from a distance or right next to him, one of them would always be there.
. . .
By the time the sleep medication had worn off, Heero was already on his way to where the Gundams were hidden. He wasn't actually going to do anything major, just a few hours worth of meticulous tune-ups. He knew he couldn't risk doing something serious in his sleep-deprived state.
Stifling a yawn, the Wing pilot tried to unscrew a panel on his Gundam, but his hands were simply too shaky. He stared at the panel for a moment before walking off to go do something else.
However, as he yawned yet again, he was overcome by a wave of dizziness and nausea. The room spun around him and he sank to his knees, clutching his stomach.
"Heero!" from out of the shadows, Duo walked up to him, looking worried. "Are you alright, dude?" the braided pilot knelt beside the other, hand on his shoulder. The hidden feelings in his heart wanted nothing more than to reach out and engulf the other in a caring hug, to tell him 'I love you' and 'Everything's gonna be okay.'
Dizziness fading to something bearable, Heero looked up after a moment, "I… I'm…" why was he having such a hard time remembering words? "I'm fine. Just a little…" what was the word? Oh right, "…dizzy."
Duo looked at Heero skeptically before helping him to his feet, "You sure you're alright? I don't think you should be working on your Gundam right now, Hee-chan. Let's get you back to the safe house."
The Wing pilot said nothing, in fact, it seemed like he hadn't even heard Duo.
"You listening to me, Heero?" asked the Deathscythe pilot, violet eyes meeting with dulled cobalt orbs. He worry was beginning to double.
"Why do I have to go back to the safe house? I'm fine… I can take care of myself," argued Heero, sounding slightly irritated. "You can go by yourself if you want to go that badly…"
The Wing pilot didn't understand the reason for going back, "Fine, you can stay, but I'm keeping an eye on you. Got it?" said Duo, releasing his grip on the other's arm.
As Heero walked off to continue with his Gundam, Duo thought about how the Wing pilot had just acted. He hadn't even reacted to the fact that Duo had followed him, when he normally would've been quite annoyed. Another thing the braided pilot had noticed was that Heero's skin was colder than usual.
Duo had done a bit of research on sleep deprivation the day before, so that he and the other pilots would know what to expect, and Heero was definitely showing many of these symptoms. No doubt he'd begin to hallucinate by tomorrow…
A few hours later found Heero inevitably back at the safe house. He had done all he could for his Gundam, not that he could do much, and now there was nothing to distract him from his exhaustion.
Quatre sat next to him on the sofa, constantly glancing at him from the side. Heero didn't notice at first, but when he did, he got up and walked to his room, slamming the door behind him.
If he had been thinking clearly, the Wing pilot would've ignored Quatre, but lack of sleep was screwing with his judgment.
Staring into the mirror yet again, Heero decided that he was going to avoid this nightmare at all costs. He figured that the little bit of sleep he was getting wasn't doing any help at all, and he'd be better off without that nightmare disturbing him.
Yawning once more, Heero began to clean up the bedroom. He would do anything to stay awake, and thoroughly tidying Duo's half of the room would definitely take quite a bit of time.
Heero found himself completely bored with cleaning in only a few minutes, but he continued anyways. As long as he kept himself in motion he'd stay awake.
The day dragged on, but Heero managed to make it through. By now, however, he had a terrible headache and his eyelids were heavier than before.
At dinner, he could hardly stay awake as he sat at the table with the other pilots. Though he was hungry, he didn't eat very much.
The other boys all cast skeptical glances at Heero, trying to gauge how bad his current state was. Duo mentally noted that the Wing pilot seemed worse than he had that morning when he was working on his Gundam.
It was then that, without warning, Heero heard something that he had not expected. Voices, voices that he did not recognize, they were shouting, crying out, screaming, all crying his name… or so he thought.
"He's been shot!"
"Mr. Yuy! Hang in there!"
"How could this be? Someone, call for help!"
"Mr. Yuy… he… he's not breathing!"
In only moments, Heero was on the floor, trembling, clutching his head, eyes shut tight.
The other boys had no idea what was going on; and as they all gathered around the Wing pilot, their confusion only grew.
"No… stop…" he whimpered, terrified of the voices screaming in his ears.
"Heero! Get a hold of yourself!" Duo put his hand on the Wing pilot's shoulder, gently shaking him.
"No… no…" Heero continued to mumble; he wasn't really 'with' them at the moment.
"It's no use, he can't hear us," said Quatre, looking at the Wing pilot with sympathy and worry.
"Maybe once he settles down, he'll actually get some sleep…" wondered Trowa.
"Hopefully, but knowing Yuy, he'd rather be stubborn and try to stay awake," Wufei thought out loud, saying what the other pilots knew was probably true.
Heero remained in that state for several moments. Even as Duo picked him up, his body remained tense and trembling.
The Deathscythe pilot carried Heero upstairs to their room, the other boys following. Duo placed him on the bed, hoping his friend would somehow get some rest.
"I'll stay here and keep an eye on him, you guys go clean up," volunteered Duo, looking worriedly at the Wing pilot.
As the others nodded and left the room, Duo turned back to Heero, who was now lying still.
"You asleep, buddy?" asked Duo quietly.
The Wing pilot did not respond, as he had already fallen into a deep sleep. However, it would not be dreamless, like he had wished every night for the past several days.
. . .
As the dream played out yet again, Heero gasped. As he watched the sniper, he managed to get a clearer look at the man… and he recognized him! He had seen that face before, he just couldn't remember where as he sank to the ground, clutching the bullet wound in his chest.
He had seen that sniper somewhere before…
Heero bolted upright with a small cry, once again pulled back into the world of the living. Gasping and shaking, he turned to see the other boys all standing by his bed.
"Heero, are you alright?" asked Quatre, looking the Wing pilot directly in the eye.
Heero took a moment to look at all the other boys before replying. "Yeah…," he didn't want them worrying about him; he could take care of everything on his own.
Wufei scoffed, earning himself a glare from the Wing pilot.
"What?" Heero asked, sounding irritated.
Duo knelt down to eye level with Heero, "Dude, we all know you're not okay. Why do you think we're all standing here? You must've started hallucinating something during dinner, cuz you were freakin' out. We brought you up here and you fell asleep… and you gotta tell us what happened between then and now," said the braided pilot, hoping with all he had that Heero would tell them about the nightmare that was bothering him so badly.
Heero tiredly shook his head, "No… I can handle this on my own… you four stay out of it…" he made eye contact with all of the other boys before he tried to push himself up off the bed.
Duo grabbed his arm, giving him a very serious look, but the look of frustration and fear in the Wing pilot's eyes made him let go.
A moment later, Heero stood. There was a tired, almost dazed look in his dulled cobalt eyes. He obviously was feeling the full effects of his lack of proper sleep.
He glared slightly at the other pilots before practically stumbling out of the room. They all followed him.
Duo hurried past Heero and stopped him before he could get to the stairs.
"Look, I don't care if you can handle this on your own or not, but you're not going anywhere until you tell us what's wrong. I'm serious," Duo stared at Heero, his violet eyes more solemn than ever. The Deathscythe pilot put his hand on the other's shoulder, mouth set in a straight line.
Heero frowned, "Let go, Duo… I already told you… stay out of this…" the Wing pilot wrapped his hand around of Duo's wrist, gripping it tightly. His grasp was like a vise, yet it wasn't nearly as strong as usual; nonetheless, the braided pilot knew his pale skin was going to bruise quite badly.
"Heero, listen to me! I can help you! Just please, tell me what's wrong…" Duo put his other hand over Heero's urging him to let go.
The Wing pilot's grip tightened slightly and it was obvious that his tired muscles had trouble doing so. Duo winced, now trying to pry Heero's hand from his wrist.
"Stay out of this…" he repeated.
"Heero, stop it!" ordered Quatre, stepping up in between the two.
Trowa and Wufei grabbed the Wing pilot from behind, forcing him to release Duo.
Heero let his arm get pulled back, and Duo instantly rubbed his hurt wrist. There was a look of betrayal in his violet eyes, as if he couldn't believe the other would do that to him, as well as understanding as to why he did.
Wufei and Trowa held onto both of Heero's arms, pulling them behind him slightly. The Wing pilot struggled against the two, but he was rapidly growing weaker.
"Heero," Quatre said, looking into the other's exhausted cobalt eyes, "there's no need to keep this from us. The four of us are your friends, and we just want to help you."
Heero's face showed no emotions, other than how tired he was. His entire being cried for sleep, but he knew he could not oblige. He could not risk that nightmare again… he stopped struggling.
"We just want to help you, Heero," said Duo quietly, keeping his distance from the Wing pilot. Though he knew Heero wasn't himself right now, the hand shaped bruise forming around his wrist reminded him of how cruel his friend could be when he lost control… and Duo didn't want to know what would happen if Heero did lose control.
Trowa and Wufei released the Wing pilot and he stalked off, back into the bedroom. The slam of the door echoed through the house.
"This is really bad, guys," said Duo. He was still holding his wrist and his voice was still terribly downcast.
"What are we going to do now? It's obvious he won't let us help him…" said Quatre with a frown.
"We're just going to have to stick to the original plan; wait till he can't resist, then get him the help he needs," Trowa looked at the door Heero had just disappeared through.
"The most we can do now is let him retain as much of his dignity as possible. Yuy is not the type of person to accept any kind of help without taking a hit to his pride," said Wufei, arms crossed.
Duo seemed to look quite betrayed. The fact that Heero had hurt him had done more emotional damage than physical. Still holding his wrist, he slowly stepped down the stairs, violet eyes looking down.
The three other boys exchanged unsure glances before following Duo.
The Deathscythe pilot walked to the front door, grabbing his jacket and keys. "I'm going out," he said. And then he was gone, having slipped away into the darkness of night.
Quatre sighed, turning his head to gaze back upstairs at Heero and Duo's bedroom.
Knowing the risks, and not necessarily caring, Quatre walked back up the stairs to the bedroom. The blonde knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a response.
Heero was carefully making his bed, looking as if he was about to collapse. It took a few moments for the pilot to notice the other, and when he did, he turned and glared.
Shakily, dizzily, Heero dropped what he was doing and turned to face Quatre. He looked horribly angry, as if he was about to pull a gun on the blonde at any moment.
Quatre held up his hands, trying to look as unthreatening as possible as he stepped forward. "Heero, please, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want you to know that you can trust me; you can trust all four of us."
The Wing pilot was practically growling, "Go away… there's nothing you can do here… leave."
"No Heero, I'm not going to leave you right now; not while Duo is gone," Quatre averted his eyes for a moment, "You really hurt him, emotionally and physically."
Something flickered in Heero's eyes; Quatre had just hit a very sensitive nerve. "What… did you just say?"
Quatre took another step forward, "You grabbed his wrist so hard it bruised, remember?"
Careful not to worsen his headache and dizziness, Heero shook his head, "No… I… my memory is too fuzzy…"
A moment later, the Wing pilot clutched his head and stomach, sinking to his knees. He felt as if he was about to empty his stomach of all its contents at any minute.
Quatre was at his side in an instant, helping him to move to sit on the bed. He could clearly see how terribly the other's hands were shaking.
Not much time had passed before those shaking hands were pushing him away, however.
"Go away… I'm fine…" grumbled Heero as he shoved Quatre away from him.
The blonde stood, looking down at the Wing pilot as he sat on the bed, "But…" he sighed, "Its no use, is it? Just please… try to get some rest, even if you don't sleep."
With that, Quatre left the bedroom, leaving Heero in silence yet again.
The Wing pilot stood and began to pace in the center of the room. Had he really hurt Duo that badly? …He couldn't remember anything clearly lately, and that whole incident had completely faded from his mind. This was getting scary.
. . .
Meanwhile, Duo rode around aimlessly on his motorcycle. There was no where to go, and he couldn't stray far. He'd have to return to the safe house if he wanted to go to bed or anything of the like… he hadn't even brought his wallet.
So, after about two or three hours of riding in the night and clearing his head, Duo went back to the safe house. His heart ached as he parked his bike in the driveway and his bruised wrist twitched as he made his way to the door.
He needed to find a way to get Heero to listen to reason in his distorted state of mind. But that could wait till morning…
The safe house was quiet as he walked in through the front door. It looked as if everyone had already gone to bed, and a quick glance at the clock on the wall confirmed those suspicions.
Sighing heavily and holding his wrist, Duo headed upstairs to his and Heero's bedroom.
He opened the door to find Heero meticulously tidying the room again. Suppressing a look of disdain for the other's stubbornness, Duo walked over to his own bed.
Heero sent a sort of sorry, yet still irritated glare at the Deathscythe pilot before turning his back on the other and ignoring him completely.
With a tired sigh, Duo picked up his neatly folded pajamas from the foot of the perfectly-made bed. He retreated to the bathroom to change and brush out his hair.
Reentering the bedroom, the Deathscythe pilot flicked off the lights, even though Heero was still going around, trying to keep himself conscious.
Despite his negative emotions towards the other at the moment, Duo mumbled, "'Night Heero," he yawned, "Go clean the rest of the place while you're at it…" Climbing into bed, he cast one last glance at the shadow that was the Wing pilot before rolling over and falling asleep. However, he too was plagued by nightmares, only his were of the betrayed feelings he had felt when Heero had hurt him earlier that evening.
Duo awoke a few hours later from his bad dreams. He stood and stretched, mindlessly walking out of the room and making his way to the bathroom.
However, before he could even make it out of the room, the bedroom light flickered on. Heero was standing at the doorway, gun in his shaking hands, pointing it directly at the other pilot.
Blinking away the brightness of the light, Duo stared in a sleepy wonder at Heero. "Wha…? Heero, what are you doing…?" he asked, voice still heavy from sleep.
"Stop right there," ordered Heero, turning off the safety on his gun. "I don't know who you are, or what you want with me, but I'll kill you before I find out!"
It was hearing the other's voice that finally snapped Duo into total awareness. He instinctively put his hands up in defense… only, that wasn't what Heero saw.
What the Wing pilot was seeing was the assassin from his nightmare. The man's face was hidden in the shadow of his cap; all that was visible was an evil smirk. When Duo had raised his hands in defense, Heero had seen the figure raise a gun… this was not going to end well.
BANG!
The sound of the gunshot rent through the house, startling all the other sleeping pilots.
Quatre and Trowa bolted from the next bedroom, Wufei running out from the last. They all rushed to Heero and Duo's room.
Trowa restrained Heero while Wufei wrestled the gun from his grip. The Wing pilot was rigid in fear and anger, his body trembling and his dulled cobalt eyes practically glowing.
Meanwhile, Quatre hurried into the bedroom to find Duo on the floor, clutching his arm. The Deathscythe pilot had been too shocked to dodge in time, just barely managing not to get hit somewhere life-threatening.
"Duo! Are you alright? What the hell happened?" worried Quatre, helping the other sit up so he could get a good look at the wound in his arm.
Violet eyes wide in shock, Duo stared up at Heero; he was still kneeling on the floor, his body kind of hunched over. His brown hair, wavy from being braided, spilled over his shoulder, giving him an eerie look in the bright light of the lamp above. He couldn't believe that the other had just shot him… it tore a hole in his heart far worse than any gun ever could.
"Heero…" the Deathscythe pilot couldn't see the others in the room. It was just him and Heero, face to face, eyes full of emotions neither of them needed to decipher.
But by the horror glinting in the Wing pilot's eyes, it was clear that he was still seeing the nightmare, and not the betrayed teen before him. "Wh-who are you…? What do you want with me?" his voice rose to a yell as he began to furiously writhe from Trowa's grip.
Duo was starting to understand. Through the shock and betrayal, he was beginning to realize that Heero wasn't seeing him. Ignoring Quatre, the Deathscythe pilot rose and stepped towards Heero.
The Wing pilot stared in shock as Duo came towards him, his body too weary and his mind too drained to keep up its emotionless mask. Heero nearly leaned back against Trowa, who was still holding the other's wrists behind him.
"Don't come near me!" shuddered Heero, unable to tear his eyes from the hallucination that Duo's form had taken on.
However, the nightmare faded back to reality as the Deathscythe pilot placed his hand on the other's cheek, violet eyes meeting with dulled cobalt.
"Heero, it's me, Duo… can't you see me?" he asked, voice emotionally pained.
The Wing pilot relaxed, finally seeing what was truly in front of him. He looked down at the floor, fighting off a wave of sleepiness and negative emotions. Knowing that he had hurt Duo the way he did made the human part of him feel terrible. It made the part of him that was the 'Perfect Soldier' feel dysfunctional for harming one of his allies and not being able to control his emotions.
Trowa released Heero and his arms fell limply to his sides. He couldn't bring himself to meet Duo's eyes now… he couldn't bring himself to apologize.
Turning away from the other pilots, from his friends, Heero dazedly walked down the hall. He made his way down the stairs, hand tightly grasping the rail as if he didn't trust himself to not fall.
Quatre came up behind Duo, "C'mon Duo, we need to get that bandaged up…" he led the other teen into the bathroom where they kept the first-aid kit. The blonde just wished that the clean white bandages could reach and heal Duo's aching heart.
. . .
The fifth day came and went without much incident, as did the sixth and seventh. Duo spent most of the time sulking, while Heero had left a note every morning that he was going to work on his Gundam. Duo passed many hours sleeping, while Heero never allowed himself a single wink. Both their situations were gradually getting worse, but the other three pilots did not know what to do, and so neither Heero nor Duo were bothered.
But on the morning of the eighth day, however, there was no note. Heero was simply… gone. No one knew what had happened to him, but it was safe to assume that the hallucinations had returned…
Duo, who was terribly worried despite his betrayed feelings, searched ten times harder than the others… not saying that they weren't doing their best either, of course.
Heero was no where along the winding path to the Gundam hangar, nor was he in the hangar itself. He wasn't even locked in the cockpit of Wing Zero.
The four searched the surrounding woods for the better part of the day. Around late afternoon, Duo finally came across the lost pilot.
Heero was collapsed on the leafy floor, obviously being tortured by his nightmare. Duo could see, by the scratches littering his bare arms and knees that he had been running through the forest to try to escape his bad dreams… or possibly his friends.
The Deathscythe pilot knelt by Heero's side and lifted him into his arms. All of Duo's negative emotions towards the other pilot disappeared as he saw the frightened look on his usually stoic face.
It was so hard to see Heero like this; the complete opposite of the usually strong, emotionless, pillar of strength.
Before Duo began on his way back to the safe house, though, he dug out his cell phone and speed-dialed Quatre.
"Found him. On my way back." Duo closed the phone and shoved it in his pocket. He didn't need to wait for Quatre's reply.
Cradling Heero in his arms, Duo rose to his feet. He struggled slightly under Heero's weight, as the Wing pilot was a bit heavier than he was, but it was okay. He was strong enough… physically.
His emotional strength was a completely different story, however. A different story that must wait until this one comes to an end.
Heero moaned quietly in his nightmare, his head leaning against Duo's chest. Little did the Deathscythe pilot know, however, that that simple sleep-sound was truly a scream for help… the cry of shock as the Heero of his nightmare was shot through the heart yet again by that strange assassin.
"Shh…" Duo soothed, walking in the direction of the safe house. "It's alright, Heero. You can relax. You're safe now."
The Wing pilot seemed to calm slightly at the sound of Duo's voice. His tense body loosened a bit and he sighed softly.
"I…" Duo didn't know if he should finally speak the three words that had been at his lips for so long. "Heero… I don't know if you can hear me right now, but there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time… I… I don't care if you don't feel the same… but…" the Deathscythe pilot took a deep breath, looking down at Heero's sleeping face as he walked, "I love you."
Groggy, nearly lifeless, cobalt eyes slid open, staring up into perfect violet orbs, "…You …do?" he mumbled, voice terribly heavy from sleep.
Duo smiled, glad that his confession had been heard. He stopped walking for a moment to lean down slightly and kiss Heero on the forehead, "Yeah, I do."
. . .
Heero ran. He ran as fast as his exhausted body could handle as he made his way through the dense forest behind the safe house.
It wasn't long till he had to slow to a walk, however, as his body was too weary to be of much use.
But no matter how far he got, he could still hear it; that sniper's cruel laugh. He had heard it somewhere… somewhere from so long ago… so long that it was nothing but a shredded memory.
Sometimes, when he looked up at the trees, the huge firs would become giant people standing over him, people he didn't know. At one point, however, as he glanced up, the sight of that sniper filled his eyes.
Not even paying attention to which way he was going, or the distress signals his body was screaming at him, he bolted in another direction.
This happened again and again, but not once did Heero realize that he was hallucinating and none of it was real. The nightmare just continued to haunt him relentlessly…
It was finally, as a raised tree root latched onto his foot and brought him down, that Heero finally gave into the exhaustion… however, definitely not by choice.
The nightmare engulfed his sleeping mind.
Heero dreamed. As his will to fight the nightmare after it had its claws wrapped around him had faded, he watched helplessly as his dream-body went through all the familiar motions. He let himself preach peace, let himself get shot… he didn't fight the cry that tore from his lips as the bullet ripped through his heart.
"It's alright, Heero. You can relax. You're safe now." That all too familiar voice stopped the nightmare in its tracks, like someone had just hit pause in the middle of a horror movie.
Heero heard his name being said, but it wasn't the distorted cries from his nightmare… it was something much more real. The calming voice continued to speak, bringing him up slowly from the depths of the sleep his tortured mind had forced upon him.
Finally, as three certain words made it to his ears, did Heero come to his senses. He finally realized who was speaking to him.
"I love you," said Duo.
"You… do…?" Heero managed to whisper, forcing open his eyes.
Striking violet orbs stared into his tired cobalt eyes. "Yeah, I do," Duo said, kissing the other's forehead.
And Heero felt right with the world… even if he could hardly think straight anymore.
. . .
Heero was in a sort of daze the entire walk home. He let his body remain limp in Duo's arms as he was carried into the safe-house and up the stairs to their bedroom. Once in the room, Duo gently laid Heero on the bed.
"Sleep, Heero, I'm here," urged Duo, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"No..." Heero sat up, fighting the exhaustion. "I... I can't live through... that nightmare again..."
Duo sighed, "Alright. I can't stop you."
Heero, forgetting himself for a moment, wrapped his arms over Duo's shoulders. Smiling, the Deathscythe pilot turned in the other's embrace and returned the hug.
"It's gonna be okay, Heero," Duo promised, "Your nightmare is gonna go away soon. Shinigami will watch over you."
Heero surprised Duo by kissing him on the cheek. The Wing pilot was really taking to their new relationship; it had to do with his lack of sleep and altered judgment, for sure.
A few moments later, after they broke apart, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei burst into the room.
"Heero...! Are you okay? You're all scratched up!" exclaimed Quatre as he began to fuss over Heero.
Trowa disappeared for a moment, only to return with the first-aid kit. He and Quatre began to bandage all the cuts and scrapes littering Heero's arms and legs.
The Wing pilot did not protest; he was simply too tired to do so. And so he sat on the edge of the bed, letting his injuries be taken care of.
After a few minutes of staring ahead dazedly, however, Heero hissed in pain.
"You twisted your ankle," Trowa stated bluntly.
And indeed he had. Heero hadn't remembered it, but he must've done so when that tree root brought him to the ground back in the forest.
"Wufei, could you go get some ice?" asked Quatre as he gently cleaned Heero's skinned knees.
The Shenlong pilot nodded, heading downstairs to grab some icepacks from the freezer.
Duo sighed, putting his hand on Heero's shoulder.
The Wing pilot looked up at him, no emotion on his tired face or in his weary cobalt eyes.
Soon enough, Nurse Trowa and Doctor Quatre were done tending to Heero.
With and icepack balanced on his ankle, Heero was ordered not to leave his bed. Duo helped him to sit back and lean against the wall. The Deathscythe pilot sat on the edge of the bed and faced the other.
Heero was completely out of it, staring ahead at nothing.
Duo wondered: What was going on in the Wing pilot's head? Was he thinking about his nightmare? Was he thinking about their budding relationship? ...Was he even thinking at all...?
Duo sighed heavily, standing up. He stared fixedly at Heero, but the other did not react. He turned and headed to the doorway, intending to go downstairs and fetch his laptop from wherever he had left it.
"Don't... leave..." Heero whispered. Duo almost didn't hear him.
The Deathscythe pilot whirled around to face the other.
Heero was staring at him, a pleading look in his tired eyes.
Duo grinned his trademark grin, "I'll be right back, promise." And Duo left the room, leaving Heero alone for a few minutes.
When Duo returned, the Wing pilot hadn't moved from where he sat. However, his head had fallen, chin resting on his chest.
...Was he asleep?
Duo walked over to the bed, still holding his laptop. If the Wing pilot really was asleep, then Duo did not want to wake him.
So the Deathscythe pilot bent down a bit, looking up at Heero's face.
His cobalt eyes were open, if only halfway, and he was blankly staring down at his lap.
"Heero?" Duo asked, calling for the other's attention.
The Wing pilot snapped out of his dazed stupor. He looked up, staring into Duo's brilliant, violet eyes. Heero's eyes, however; they were almost hollow; lack of sleep and the terror from his nightmare had sapped all the life from their once-shining depths.
"You feeling okay? Like, your ankle and all that...?" asked Duo as he sat on the bed next to Heero.
"It... doesn't hurt," said the Wing pilot a moment later, looking up at the other.
A few hours later, Quatre brought the two pilots something to eat.
Heero, though his stomach growled uncomfortably, pushed away his dinner. "I don't want any..." he mumbled.
"Yes you do," said Duo around a mouthful of food.
Hands trembling, Heero picked up his fork. He didn't eat much...
. . .
Duo yawned, "Well, I'm going to sleep, Heero. Try not to run away again, okay?" the Deathscythe pilot pulled up the covers and closed his eyes. Sleep took him fairly quickly, considering how eventful his day had been.
Heero watched from across the room as Duo fell asleep.
The moonlight shining in through the window made it very easy to see.
And so Heero stood, trying to keep most of his weight off of his twisted ankle. He dazedly limped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him.
The Wing pilot made his way to the staircase. He gazed over the railing, down at the living room of the safe-house.
It was silent. He was the only one awake at this hour....
Limping down the stairs was difficult, and Heero gripped the railing as he took the steps one at a time.
Had he been fully rested and lucid, he would've been able to ignore the minor pain of his twisted ankle. But his mind was weary, his judgment impaired; he wasn't himself anymore...
Near the bottom of the stairwell, with only about four steps to the ground, Heero's hurt ankle gave out and he tumbled to the floor.
It wasn't a loud fall, for which the Wing pilot was glad—he didn't want to wake the others—but his ankle burned with pain. He couldn't rise.
After lying on the floor, dazed and disoriented for many moments, Heero managed to pull himself up onto his hands and knees.
He grabbed onto the railing of the stairs and shakily pulled himself up.
Heero suddenly felt very dizzy; a delayed reaction from his fall. He barely had the strength to steady himself, to remain standing until the nausea passed.
After several minutes of taking deep, slow breaths, the dizziness finally faded.
Heero straightened up to his full height and turned to limp to the front door of the safe-house.
'Try not to run away again...'
Duo's words repeated in Heero's hazy mind. He didn't listen... he was too weary to comprehend it anyways...
And so, Heero pulled open the front door of the safe-house. He followed the path that led to the back of the building, then wandered into the forest beyond. He was heading towards the hidden path that led to the Gundams.
The Wing pilot had gone down this path so many times, that even in his tormented, sleep-deprived state, he could not get lost.
However, the walk took longer than usual. Heero was so tired... his ankle hurt so bad... the nightmare was bound to return.
And so, when Heero finally made it to the Gundam hangar, he limped over to Wing Zero and steadied himself against the cool metal. He leaned on his giant Gundam, and the cold gundamium felt so good against his back and bare arms, somewhat relaxing his tense muscles.
Sinking to the cement floor of the hangar, Heero pulled one leg up close to him, leaving the other outstretched because of his twisted ankle.
Forehead resting on his knee, Heero bit back a yawn. He was so tired...
But he didn't let himself sleep.
His entire being ached and trembled as he pulled himself up onto his feet.
Hardly able to see in the pitch black hangar, Heero did his best to climb up to the cockpit of his Gundam. He nearly fell.
His ankle protested loudly as he pulled himself up to the hatch. He opened up the cockpit and nearly fell inside.
Heero groaned in pain and weakness as he situated himself in the control seat. His head throbbed and blackness was tugging at the edges of his vision.
Heero closed the hatch, plunging the cockpit into a cold darkness. He didn't start up his Gundam.
Tired, dull cobalt eyes stared up into the black, unseeing. He couldn't focus.
Heero frowned, fighting off sleep with all he had. He tried to think about Duo, to think about his nightmare, anything to keep himself awake... but it was no use. His body's utter exhaustion was simply too overpowering.
The thoughts faded from his mind and he wavered between levels of consciousness; balancing on the thin line dividing awareness and sleep.
But that thin line snapped as the desperate need to rest pulled him under. He fell, lost to the icy depths of oblivion.
Heero dreamed.
. . .
April 7, 175 A.C.
Heero Yuy, leader of the Space Colonies, stood at his podium.
"Peace," he said, authoritive voice echoing through the speakers, "will come to the Colonies. It may take months, it may take years, but we will have Peace! Blood will be spilt, lives will be lost; that, I can guarantee. But the fighting will come to an end and the Colonies will no longer live in fear! ..."
This wasn't Heero, the pacifist leader of the Space Colonies speaking, looking out at the crowd; it was Heero, the stoic Gundam pilot.
This was Heero's Nightmare.
And so, Heero continued to give his speech, standing strong in the unrelenting storm of war and the struggle for control. He was a symbol of hope; a single candle burning bright in the black depths of evil... but that candle was about to be blown out. Darkness was about to take over yet again.
There was a man, an assassin to be correct, who might not have agreed with this concept of Peace.
But his opinion didn't make a difference, not yet, at least; all that mattered was the completion of his mission.
And so he positioned his rifle, expression hard and uncaring. He was waiting for the perfect moment. He wanted his victim to see his face, to know the man who took his life.
Now!
Just as the Peace leader turned, looking near where the sniper was hiding, he pulled the trigger.
Heero Yuy fell.
The pain was unbearable. Completely unlike anything he had ever felt before.
Heero Yuy sank to his knees, staring up on horror at the dark figure that had put the bullet in his heart.
The teenager within, the Heero Yuy that was to see this horrid war come to an end, recognized that man as he silently cried out in terror.
It was someone from his past, someone from so long ago... someone who had taught him how to live, someone who had taught him how to hold a gun...
Odin Lowe.
. . .
Heero's eyes instantly shot open. His cold hands clawed at his chest as he gasped for breath.
It was still pitch dark in Wing Zero's cockpit and he was still alone.
Was it daylight yet?
He didn't know.
All Heero could think about, however, was his nightmare...
All this time... he had been dreaming about the original Heero Yuy's assassination...? Had there really been so much significance to his name?
Heero couldn't comprehend it.
Still too tired to think straight, Heero put his hand to his forehead. He bit back a yawn and stared up into the darkness, only seeing the nightmare in his mind's eye.
He tried to focus, tried to analyze his nightmare, but he couldn't. Nothing made sense.
His skull was pounding, throbbing. His body was aching. He needed to rest.
But he did not.
Heero forced himself up, opening the hatch. Nearly forgetting to be careful with his ankle, he pulled himself out of the cockpit.
Getting back to the ground was somewhat difficult.
As Heero jumped the last several feet to the floor, he managed to land putting most of his weight on his good leg. But he still fell to his knees, twisted ankle throbbing in pain.
A few moments later, he shakily rose and stumbled out of the hangar. He almost forgot to lock it.
Not bothering to stifle yet another yawn, Heero made his way back into the forest.
Nightmare temporarily shoved from his thoughts, his mind was lost in a heavy haze. He couldn't think past it; could hardly register what he saw or felt. But his body was used to this by now; he had been feeling this way for days...
And so, Heero limped through the early morning darkness. The walk back was even longer than the way there...
Heero was still a ways away from the safe house when he stumbled.
He did not rise...
. . .
Duo opened his violet eyes, slowly waking up after a peaceful night's sleep. He stared blearily at the wall, wishing he was still lost to the world of dreams.
But he had to get up sooner or later...
Mind still dwelling on dreams of Heero, Duo yawned loudly and rolled over.
Still in a half-asleep daze, he stared across the room at Heero's empty bed...
"Heero...!"
Duo gasped, instantly awake. He practically leapt from his bed, wide violet eyes glancing around the room in a panic.
Still in his pjs, a t-shirt and boxers, he burst from the bedroom and leaned over the railing, trying to see if Heero was in the living room of the house. He wasn't.
"Trowa! Quatre! Wufei!" shouted Duo as he banged on their bedroom doors.
"Duo, what's going on?" asked Quatre as he stepped out into the hallway, still half-asleep. Trowa stood silently behind him.
"Maxwell, what is the meaning of this injustice?" hissed Wufei from his doorway.
Duo stared at them all, "Heero's gone!"
"What? Are you sure?" gasped Quatre, instantly awake.
Duo turned and hurried downstairs, "He's not in our room, and he's not in the living room, so..."
The other three followed the Deathscythe pilot, all instantly worried for Heero. They searched the whole house.
"I'm going outside to look for him!" declared Duo as he hurried to the front door. He gasped as he saw that it wasn't locked.
"Heero is out there! The front door is unlocked!" called Duo as he pulled open the front door.
He took several steps outside into the cold, bright morning, staring out into the surrounding forest.
He ran to the back of the house.
"Heero!" Duo called, hands cupped around his mouth like a megaphone, "Heero!"
Barefoot, he bolted across the lawn to the edge of the forest, "HEERO!"
There was no reply, no sign of the lost pilot.
Trowa, Quatre and Wufei came up behind Duo.
The Sandrock pilot put his hand on the American's shoulder, squeezing it gently. He said nothing.
After several moments of silence, Duo motioned for the others to stay put, then wandered off into the forest alone.
"Heero!" he called, "Heero, where are you?"
There was no reply. The forest was silent.
Panic.
Panic was beginning to set in, to take hold of his soul with its bony claws.
It had taken far too long to find Heero yesterday when he had disappeared. What if they couldn't find him this time...? What if he was too lost? What if he was...?
He couldn't finish that thought.
"Duo..."
The pained, weak whisper had Duo whirling around in circles, eyes searching for its source.
Seemingly from nowhere, Heero stumbled out of the dark forest and into the other's arms, collapsing against him.
"Heero...!" Duo gasped, wrapping his arms around the Wing pilot's waist to help keep him up.
Heero's body was completely limp against Duo's, even though he was still somewhat conscious. He remained silent, completely unresponsive as the Deathscythe pilot lifted him into his arms.
Duo stared down into Heero's hollow, gray-blue eyes. Those lifeless orbs looked twice as haunted as they had before.
"Heero..." Duo breathed, "Thank God you came back..."
Heero remained silent, simply continuing to stare up in a daze. The small bit of his mind that could still think remotely clearly was desperately trying to comprehend his nightmare. His half-lidded eyes saw nothing.
Duo sighed, holding Heero tighter. The Wing pilot's skin was as cold as ice. There was no doubt that he had been out in the night for far too long...
The Deathscythe pilot turned on his heel, making his way back towards the safe-house. When the others saw him coming, several minutes later, they ran to him.
"Duo! Heero! Thank God!" gasped Quatre, glancing from Duo to Heero then back again.
"Where was he?" asked Trowa, skeptically staring at Heero's hurt ankle.
If Duo's hands had been free, he would've put them up in a shrug, "I don't know... he just appeared out of nowhere. He might've gone down to the Gundam hangar, though."
Somewhat pushing past the other pilots, Duo continued on his way, back to the safe-house. He needed to get Heero somewhere warm, somewhere he could rest. The others followed him.
It wasn't long until the pilots made it out of the forest.
It was still early morning, and the sun was still low in the sky. The clearing where the safe-house was located was bright, but still very chilly.
Duo carried Heero into the house and brought him up to their room. Quatre helped pull off the Wing pilot's shoes before Duo put him in his bed.
Heero didn't close his glassy blue eyes.
Frowning, Duo waved a hand in front of the Wing pilot's face, trying to get him to respond.
After a few moments, Heero blinked several times and stared up, past Duo's hand, at his face. His cobalt eyes were still hollow, but it was clear that he was actually seeing what was in front of him, and not some distorted nightmare.
"Heero, go to sleep. You need it," said Duo. He put his hand on the other's cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb.
Heero turned away, "No..." He was still terrified of his nightmare, even if he knew what it was about. He couldn't bear to be shot through the heart like that ever again...
Duo sighed and turned to face the others. "Go," he said quietly, tone somewhat sad and serious, "I'll take care of him."
Quatre nodded, "Alright."
Trowa said nothing.
"Don't let him run away again," said Wufei.
Duo smiled softly as the three other pilots left the room, "I won't, promise."
The Deathscythe pilot then pulled his own bed across the room, pressing it up against Heero's. He lay down and faced the Wing pilot, head propped up on his hand.
Heero let his head fall to the side, hollow eyes staring into Duo's violet orbs.
"Tell me," Duo said quietly, "Tell me what your nightmare is about."
Heero remained silent.
He didn't want to talk about his nightmare. Even if it wasn't that scary, the feelings he experienced during it were enough to scar him for life. It made him tremble just to remember the feeling of that bullet rocketing through his chest, taking his life.
"Please?" Duo asked softly, voice just above a whisper, "It'll help you feel better if you talk about it..."
Heero said nothing for several minutes, just staring ahead blankly. Finally...
"I-It got worse every night... even though it was always the same nightmare—" Heero's voice hitched in his throat. It was so hard to talk about the dream that had instilled such an irrational fear in his heart.
Duo put his hand on Heero's shoulder, gently urging him to continue. He hated seeing Heero like this; so broken, so tormented by nothing more than a simple night terror.
The Wing pilot took a shaky breath before he spoke again. He was so tired, "I was dreaming... about when the original Heero Yuy was assassinated..." he was having trouble focusing on his nightmare enough to retell it clearly. "He was killed by the man who, years later... became my teacher..."
"Sounds very scary," Duo said comfortingly, "But now that you know what's going on, I bet your nightmare wont be coming back."
Heero's eyes were threatening to close, "Really...? It'll be gone now?" if his nightmare was no longer present, then he could finally sleep. He could finally rest his weary mind and body.
Duo didn't know if Heero's nightmare really would be gone now, but maybe if he convinced the Wing pilot that he would no longer have that horrid dream, he'd finally be able to sleep peacefully.
"Yeah, Heero, your nightmare should be gone now." Duo put his hand on Heero's pale face.
The Wing pilot was fading fast. His body was completely relaxed, comfortable in his soft bed. His head was still throbbing painfully, and the blackness was even darker at the edges of his vision. His breathing was slow and deep.
"Sleep," urged Duo.
But Heero was still scared. He couldn't think clearly. His mind had been in a haze since the first time he had lived through that nightmare.
But Heero couldn't fight it anymore.
However, before the Wing pilot slipped into oblivion, Duo did something that called for his attention.
The Deathscythe pilot scooted over onto Heero's bed, wrapping his arms around the other in a protective, yet comforting embrace. There was hardly any space between them.
Heero stared dazedly into Duo's brilliant violet eyes. He was lost in their depths.
Smiling softly, Duo pressed his lips to Heero's, kissing him deeply, passionately.
Their kiss lasted several moments, leaving them both gasping for breath when they finally broke apart.
Heero's eyes were already closed. He was on the verge of unconsciousness. He couldn't stay awake much longer.
Duo gently rubbed the other's back, holding him close. "Rest now, Heero," he whispered, "Its okay."
And Heero fell, with a quiet sigh, his mind lost to the greedy black claws of oblivion. Only this time, he went more than willingly.
He could finally rest peacefully; regain his lost strength and stable state of mind. He could finally sleep dreamlessly. . .
Or so he thought.
His consciousness screamed out in tortured fear as the nightmare enveloped his mind.
Owari~
so? did you like it? my critic/bestfriend, Zoey04, said it was great.
i really liked the whole idea of the 'Perfect Soldier' getting so screwed up over just a nightmare... and one through the original heero yuy's eyes, at that!
and, i swear to you i wasn't gonna end it that way. he wasnt gonna have the nightmare anymore, but i came up with that idea, and after consulting one of my friends (the one who keeps trying to convince me to write crack-fluff) said that it should be a bad ending XD
well, im going to start seriously working on one of three fics i started. either one where heero and duo are sent to school (nothing like ethereal life, more like a plottless drabble so i can share some of my retarded experiences, not very angsty), or one where heero and duo have to fight OZ during a thunder/lightning storm (idk if they get caught, or what happens after that) or some fluffy yaoi, that i'm going to turn into an angst-fest... XD IF you want me to work on a certain one of these first, please tell me in a review, kayyy? thanks!
byeee :D