Hey guys! Thanks for reading "Picture To Burn" and reviewing it. It made me want to make the sequel better than the first one. But all I can give you now is this. I apologize for posting this after a while, my brother couldn't lay off our computer so I had to wait for my turn. I tried writing on paper, but I can't concentrate hard. Also to let you know, that the original song I wanted to base this on was "Fool Again" by Westlife. But I changed my mind so here it is!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Nor the song "When You're Looking Like That". And not even Westlife. Sigh. I wish I did.
-NatsuMikan383-
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When You're Looking Like That
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"She's a 5 foot 10 in cat suit and bambi eyes
Everybody who's staring wouldn't believe that this girl was mine"
More than four years ago, everyone was shocked when Mikan Sakura agreed to be my girlfriend.
I was shocked myself, too.
She was loud, and friendly while I was anti-social and never talked to anyone except my bestfriend, Ruka Nogi.
We always bicker over petty things and constantly insulted each other.
We were polar opposites. She's hot and I'm cold.
(But you're gonna agree on me that I'm hot, too, right? *Smirks*)
Then I just woke up one day and felt that my day wasn't complete without her bright smile.
I wasn't confident at first to ask her out.
My Grandpa, Neji Hyuuga encouraged me to pursue her.
And after six long months of dating, she was mine.
The same time that my grandfather died.
She never knew that, of course. I never told her.
Throughout the whole time that we were together.
Wondering why I'm using the past tense?
Yes. Because Mikan Sakura just broke up with me a week and a half ago.
It didn't really hurt me, but instead, it had hurt my ego.
Nobody dumps THE Natsume Hyuuga.
Too late, she already did.
You see...ever since before, I've blamed her for my grandfather's death.
If she just said yes and didn't make my courting long. . .
I should have been there when Grandpa Neji needed me.
Yet I wasn't.
'Coz I was taking her to a goddamn fun fair for a date. (That was the last time I went to a fun fair, too)
Now I don't know why a chain of bad things had been happening to me these past weeks.
Hotaru Imai, a.k.a Ice Queen made everyone in the campus believe that I was gay by selling pictures of me wearing a dress, or some even a thong.
I've seen those pictures. How gullible can people be?
Don't they know about the thing called Photoshop?!
Anyway...everyone knows that she's Mikan Sakura's (cynical) bestfriend.
Does she have anything to do with this?
Hn. Must be karma.
When we got together, my ever-so-loyal fan girls called her "obsessive and crazy". (Tch. Look who's talking.)
They spread it all around and next thing I knew, people pointed to Mikan and called her that.
I stayed quiet and didn't comfort her. Call me Jerk but I had a reputation to uphold.
Of course I can't act all lovey-dovey all of a sudden and comfort her.
That'd be too gentle for my image.
What if my fan girls thought I was becoming like Ruka who just permits them to be all over him?
. . .I can't even imagine the horrible things that they could do to me. *Shudder*
"I should've known I was wrong
When I left her for a life in pity but..."
Back then, I didn't care less that Mikan was leaving me.
I just brought her to my friends' parties to brag that my enemy had become my lover.
I just wanted to make sure that she won't be seen with any other man or it would cause a scandal.
Yeah, I was in love with her and all, but it wasn't that serious.
When I asked her why she was breaking up with me, I recalled her exact words...
She had said shakily, "We just didn't work out. And I hate that stupid old pick-up truck you never let me drive!"
I chuckled that time, thinking, how childish can she get?
"So that's what this is all about?" I said. Amusement, annoyance, and a faint uncertainty, all mixed in my tone.
A tear plopped down her face.
She continued, "It's not just that. You never let me do what I want, you never spend time with me, and you're always overprotective. And all these time it was always about you!"
Her outburst caught me off-guard.
I didn't know she felt that way. I didn't know I acted that way.
Frozen, I sat still, leaving me speechless.
Suddenly for a long long time, I wanted to explain myself.
Convince her we could try to work this out.
Or even plead for her to stay.
But she was out of the restaurant.
And out of my life.
"They say you never miss the water until it's gone..."
When I'm alone, I fumble for that empty space beside me.
She could've been here. She should've been here.
I miss her.
I regret being the jerk I was the whole time I was with her.
I wish I wasn't too smug to think that I would never lose her.
I wish I wasn't a bastard to blame her my grandfather's death.
I wish I was honest enough to show her my true feelings.
But I wasn't. Didn't. Couldn't.
Now I'm wishing that she was back in my arms, giving me that smile meant only for me.
"Guess I failed to love you and you're taking it out tonight..."
Second week of our break-up was even worse.
Rumors has it that she's been seen dating almost all of my bestfriends.
(Nice to hear from the boy who had been rumored gay)
But it wasn't a mere rumor.
It was actually true! (Not me being gay, by the way)
I was in a mall, heading towards the bookstore to buy some Mangas when I saw her.
With Koko. (Whose girlfriend is Anna, by the way, one of Mikan's closest friends)
That two-timing girlfriend stealer. Ahem. I mean, ex-girlfriend stealer.
They were...
HFHWFW!! Err. Did that sound like a girl? Like saying, OMG?
Let me rephrase that for dirty-minded readers who are currently snickering at me now.
They were. . .Holding Freakin' Hands While Freakin' Walking!
Now that sounded like, uh, a freak.
Me? A freak? I'm getting annoyed with myself now.
I left her with a final irked look.
Two days after, the madness continues.
She showed up in one of my usual hang-outs.
This time, with Yuu Tobita. Pfft. A dork!
Why am I thinking badly of him? He was a actually a good friend although he can be nerdy sometimes.
But he still stole my Mikan.
I caught her stare at me then I grabbed the first person I could on my lap.
Whew. Glad it was a girl.
My lips twitched at Mikan's direction.
She wants to play, I can give her a game!
She smirked back and began dirty dancing on that Yuu.
Furious, I dented out my anger by forcefully kissing that bitch on top of me.
An outsider would just see me making out with the nameless girl.
My ex-girlfriend's mouth hung wide open.
Then she headed for the exit.
I won. But for what? For hurting her?
I have this feeling this isn't right...
"How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that?
I can't believe what I just gave away Now I can't take it back"
The worst came.
It was supposed to be an ordinary night-out with my friends.
But it turned upside down when I saw Mikan smooching with my mate, Mochu. In front of me!
My blood boiled, my fist clenched, my teeth grinded each other.
Did she really replace me that fast?
And did it have to be one of my bestfriends?
I didn't know what had gotten into me, but next thing I knew, my semi-bald *snicker* bestfriend was on the floor.
Wide-eyed. Bleeding. Cussing.
"Shit man, that hurt!" He whined, clutching his broken nose.
Punching my bestfriend for kissing my ex-girlfriend doesn't sound like me.
Usually, I get over my girlfriends after a while.
But this time was different.
Mikan Sakura was different.
I looked around me, a little crowd had gathered around me and Mochiage.
I caught sight of Mikan's triumphant smirk before she went outside.
I kinda helped Mochu get up by grabbing his collar in level with my crimson eyes.
"Promise me, you'll never hurt her or else..." I threatened him.
Half of my intentions was to ensure Mikan's future. With...with h-him.
Realization hit me. How can I be so clueless?
The fury I felt was pure, mean jealousy. Burning inside me. Eating me up slowly.
Mochu tried to get my hand off his shirt and explained, "N-no, i-it's not what you think, N-natsume."
Good. 'Coz if...Wait- what?
"What do you think would I think if I saw you making out with my ex-girlfriend, huh?!"
Did that question even make sense? Wait. Oh yeah.
Rather abruptly, I let go of him and he collapsed on the floor once again.
"She just told me to meet up with her, then she suddenly began kissing me!" He defended himself.
What had gotten into that girl's silly, childish, dense mind?
I thought she was too good that she can't even hurt a fly.
Now why is she doing all these obnoxious things?
Only one word explained all the (bad) things that happened to me these past weeks.
Revenge.
"I don't wanna get lost, I don't wanna live my life without you
How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that"
I wanted her back. I still love Mikan Sakura.
I just forgot to show her that. Or I didn't know how.
I was damn wrong when I neglected her and left her all alone.
She'll be mine again, no matter what it takes.
Even though her father likes to murder me.
And feed my corpse to the rats.
Okay, I admit, that I was terrified.
Her father was a madman! Literally!
But nothing will stop me.
Not even her crazy Dad's threats to shoot me with a shotgun.
"She's all dressed up in glamour and rock 'n roll
Wanna squeeze her real tight, get out of this place
If only I could take control..."
It hurts me that I go to the same school as her, but she treats me like nothing...
Every single day she always ignored me.
What pained me the most was the fact that I can't do anything about it.
That's exactly what was wrong.
I did nothing.
Trying to keep myself sane, I keep stealing glances at her.
Daydream about her.
I wanted to wrap her in my arms, and never let her go again.
Memories flooded back to me...
I never brought her to any party I go to except with my friends.
Why? Because I'm born rich and socialites are snobs.
They look down on people.
I won't let them do that to my Mikan.
I was forced to go to those parties by my father so I really had no choice.
So...
Did that mean I was in love with her even before I've known it?
Wow, and I call her MY Mikan now? Possessive, eh?
"But she's out of my reach, forever and just a week ago she lied next to me
It's so ironic how I had to lose just to see..."
I never got to tell her the reasons why I left her behind every night.
Whenever she asks me where I've been, I tell her I was out with my friends.
Ugh. I wasn't creative enough to make more excuses.
Or was just being lazy.
Maybe she got tired of my excuses.
That's why she's not here with me right now.
Last week, she wanted to get back at me. Not get back with me.
She had to pretend she was dating my bestfriends to piss me off.
She really hated me that much, didn't she?
Well, I pretty much hate myself too right now.
Isn't that enough for her to forgive me?
Isn't fate too cruel that I had to lose her just to realize everything I know now?
"Guess I failed to love you and you're taking it out tonight..."
Also, I do admit that I easily get jealous.
She's too good for me, that I didn't know why she chose me among all her suitors.
She was my enemy number one, then suddenly, she's the number one girl in my life. (And no, there's no number two.)
But the real reason behind everything was, I was just scared that I would lose her.
I'm getting cheesy here, did you notice?
Go blame that annoying, over-energetic brunette girl.
"How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that?
I can't believe what I just gave away Now I can't take it back"
Then those things about me not letting her drive my pick-up car. . .
... you ask me why I keep an old hand-me-down truck while I have millions in my bank account?
Because it's sentimental. Supposedly for the two of us, that is.
My grandfather, its rightful owner, was technically the one who brought us together.
I wouldn't want her wrecking his only remaining possession for good.
She can't drive to save her life, trust me.
That idiot's not even in the legal driving age.
And she can't seem to get the idea of 'sentimental'. Dense.
"I don't wanna get lost, I don't wanna live my life without you
How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that"
They seem so far away now. Like it was just all a dream.
And after five years, I woke up. I wanted to make that dream a reality.
So I got my cellphone and texted her.
Let me explain, please meet up with me...
Sounded like an order to me. But at least I said 'please'...
Mikan, I'm sorry for everything. Can we talk? Pls?
Crap. I didn't know texting her would be this hard.
I'll get the right words soon.
30 Minutes later...
I still couldn't get it right.
Whenever I feel the message was send-worthy, I hesitate in the Send button.
Then I'd start all over again.
This was what I was doing for the last half-hour.
Silly, right? Wrong. It's pretty damn tiring.
What if I just...
Screw it all! I'm gonna tell her what I'm feeling this very moment.
Missing you.
Send.
I started to feel nervous after sending that text message.
What would her reply be?
Five minutes later, my question was answered by another question.
Really?
A little hope lit up inside of me.
What if secretly, she was missing me too?
Yes. So much. Please let me talk to you personally.
Send.
If there was a smiley in my phone that says 'kneeling' then I would have typed it in.
Too bad, technology still hadn't made one. Nevermind then.
Minutes ticked by, and the wait was waking me anxious.
I was usually so sure of myself. But this time, questions clouded my mind.
How would I face her if she said yes?
What if she says no?
My ringtone went off.
I stared at her one-word reply.
It wasn't really what I expected but...it's enough to let me know one thing.
This is my second chance. And/or my last.
Mikan Sakura will be mine, again.
And this time I'm never letting her let go of my grasp.
"I don't wanna forget you, I don't even wanna try
How am I supposed to walk on by?
When you're looking like that"
I chose Starbucks so in case she strangled me to death because of my mistakes, at least there would be witnesses.
Someone might even be kind enough to give my body a proper burial.
That someone wouldn't be Mikan, unfortunately.
Natsume, you're over thinking. I told myself.
I only do this when I'm nervous...
Looking up at her was very hard for me, considering the guilt I felt this time.
I couldn't look her in the eye. I was struggling.
Unnerved, she hissed, "What do you want?"
I want your love back, I wanted to say.
I want you back in my life.
I want you.
Seeing her blank face crushed my confidence that I had another chance at her.
Inside, I was already whimpering in pain.
I never thought it would hurt this badly.
But I guess I deserved this, anyways.
"How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that?
I can't believe what I just gave away Now I can't take it back
I don't wanna get lost, I don't wanna live my life without you
How am I supposed to leave you now? When you're looking like that"
Words. I needed words. I still didn't speak since she asked that question.
"I still love you, okay? I always did. I miss you," You have no idea what I had gotten through to realize that.
And you don't know how lonely I feel whenever you're not with me.
Sincerely, I said, "I'm sorry for everything. Will you accept me again?"
My crimson eyes bore into her warm amber ones.
Mine; pleading, hers; self-satisfaction.
"How come I never felt that, huh, you jerk?!" she had yelled at me.
Because I didn't know how to show it. I didn't even know myself until you left me.
Again, words seem to fly away from me when I needed them the most.
Give me some time to defreeze my mind here, okay!?
"I- I don't know how to express my feelings." I was clueless back then!
"I thought by being cool you'll be happy with me!"
Why am I screaming?
I thought she liked my popular and playboy side that everyone knew of.
But now, looking through her soft brown eyes -
Another realization hit me like a solid brick.
A heavy metal brick.
She loved the person I was whenever I had time with her...
"How... am I supposed to leave you?
I can't believe what I just gave away (oh no, babe)
'Coz I can't take it back, I'm lost
I don't wanna live my life without you (Live my life without you)
How am I supposed to leave you now?
When you're looking like that?"
"You're already cool, Natsume. You don't have to push it. I just want you to be yourself..."
Myself.
Right, I haven't been myself since Mikan broke up with me.
I was myself when I'm with her, and when I was away partying the night out, it wasn't me all those time.
"Please. Give me a second chance. Mikan, I'll try to be myself this time."
That actually meant I would spent time as much as I can with her.
Well, I don't really mind. If she just shut her mouth.
I was begging. Pleading. Imploring. Beseeching...whatever I'm not a thesaurus, you know.
She became quiet all of the sudden.
It worried me because she was making up her mind.
And once she said she wanted me out of her life forever, I would do it no matter how it hurts.
That's how I love her.
But if she said yes, it would be as if I found myself. With her.
"How am I supposed to leave you now?
When you're looking like that!"
Her reply shocked me, but in a twisted sense, made me happy.
"Will you let me go to the fun fair this time?"
I'll spend all the time in the world with you, darling.
Ha! Like I'd say that aloud...
Flashing her my trademark smirk, I said, "We can go there even if it takes all day."
If that's what makes you happy.
If that's all it takes to have you back.
I'm never leaving you again, Mikan Sakura.
I love you. I honestly do.
....................
...........
....
.
Seriously. What's with love and sappy thoughts?!
-The End-
Heya. Sorry I spoiled the moment for the ending there. Haha. I just wanted to have a funny ending for this one. I don't know. I admit this isn't my best, because I'm deprived of sleep and I'm having a rainy summer (yep, that's really weird, right? Rainy midnights, then humid mornings, scorching afternoons, brown-out evenings?...eek)
I'm not really satisfied with this, so maybe I'd revise it later. But maybe I'd get too lazy and I won't bother to so, I don't that's gonna happen. Just review? Yeah, maybe that's the best you can do. I'm sorta disappointed with myself with this crappy one-shot, the sequel for my fave one-shot, Picture To Burn. Tell me what to do to improve this piece of hopeless whatever.
Do you agree with me that this sucks? Or do you beg to disagree, and say this one-shot rocks?
I was planning to make another one-shot next to this, telling what happened after NxM got back with each other. But I doubt myself right now. I'm having a crisis, people!! Please help me!! Waaaah~
-NatsuMikan383-
P.S. I know the song is old, but I really am obsessed with Westlife. Just something I thought to promote them. Hehe.