"What the fuck, no. It's common knowledge that you can't go up a tube slide at the same time as other people are going down."
"Well, I didn't know you were coming down." Logan tried to fold his arms challengingly but in the tiny space they were kind of wedged impossibly in one position.
"Okay, you saw me and waved, but whatever."
The dark haired boy sighed. "Then let's actually be smart, and get James and Carlos to help pull us out. If Gustavo can get out of here, then we can get out of here."
"Well, guess what. James and Carlos are off somewhere ghost vacuuming or being super Hollywood party kings of Hollywood, and your mom and Katie are in, like, San Diego again or whatever. And on top of that your phone is broken because you got thrown in the pool with it in your pocket, and you know I never take mine on the slide, so we can't call the maintenance guy or the godfucking fireman or even Bitters, so tough shit."
Kendall was, admittedly, getting kind of pissed. He glanced over at the other as best he could, both of them looking strange and sickly in the semi-translucent yellow tube. Logan gave him a defensive glaring look in return, and Kendall turned away, blowing his bangs out of his eyes.
"Okay, so we're stuck in here for like two hours."
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the insight."
He was really not impressed with the slide, or Logan, or anyone else for being entirely in the wrong place at the wrong time. The air was getting stupidly thick, his hip was jammed into the yellow plastic and hurting, and Carlos left his stupid grandma cookies in the oven and the smell of smoke was starting to get over to them.
Logan shrugged. "Let's play a game or something. C'mon, we never run out of things to do. Hell, we barely have time to think."
Kendall stared at the curved inside of the slide. "I can't think when I'm being crushed by fucking playground equipment."
"Let's sing."
Kendall turned to him, giving him that 'bitch please' look that he gives Gustavo when he tells him to do inane things and calls him a dog monkey. "We. Sing. All. Day."
"Okay, okay, jeez."
Logan settled with his ultimate bored routine and leaned back as much he could, solving quadratics in his head until they got too complicated for him.
Kendall sighed again, trying to shift into a less painful place against the other, but evidently he moved his knee up in the wrong place because Logan gasped rather painfully.
"Oh god, sorry, man, are you okay?"
He looked over at Logan, who was bright red and glaring menacingly.
"Yes, I'm fine," he said slowly. "Just--move your leg, please."
Kendall looked guiltily at his thigh stuck uncomfortably between Logan's knees and slid it up and out of the way.
Invariably, Logan deemed it to be entirely not out of the way. He seemed to go into a minor panic, banging his hand on the side of the tube. "Jesus fucking Christ, Kendall, not that way, what the fuck are you--"
Kendall freed his arm from the space between himself and the plastic slide, clapping it over his friend's seething mouth.
"Dude. Calm down. Like now."
Logan's eyes grew wide, his entire being rigid. "Then move your leg!" he tried to shriek past Kendall's palm, the sentence coming out muffled and desperate.
"I can't! Stop freaking out and I'll try! What's the big deal anyway?" He took his hand away and Logan took a gasping wheezing breath in.
"The big deal is gehhhhh."
Kendall was thoroughly done with being stuck in slides, even with his best friend. He was mildly claustrophobic, and starting to freak out just a tiny bit, and then he had Logan spewing nonsense and freaking out a lot.
"Shh. Okay. I'm going to try to move onto my back, so help me out here."
He tried to untangle himself from the nearly-hyperventilating kid attached to him, seeing as they were pressed chest-to-chest with all their limbs in a jumbling mess around them. Trying to twist himself slightly away and bracing himself against the top of the slide, he moved deliberately around Logan but to no avail. There was just no room in the thing for any movement whatsoever, and he had only managed to get one hand free.
Logan took a deep breath. "Okay. Dude. It's that, like, the slide probably turns at, what, a one hundred ten degree angle, and your leg is bent at probably around forty, and to get it past the turn--oh, god, no, not working. Not working at all."
Kendall shifted his head to look at Logan. "Just tell me what the problem is so I can try and help, okay?"
Logan laughed nervously. "You have funny eyebrows, Kendall."
The blonde man made a noise of incredulousness, staring at the other, insulted. "What the f--you have funny…funny…your mom! And you're yellow also! Now tell me what's the matter!"
"You also have iffy grammar skills."
Kendall scoffed. "You have issues with avoiding questions."
"At least my eyebrows match my hair."
"Okay, shut the fuck up about my eyebrows!" He used his free hand to push Logan's shoulder against the side of the tube, getting ready to fight him when he realised one sort of couldn't do much of anything stuck in a slide.
Logan got that freaking out look again. "Dudestopit," he mumbled, staring at Kendall like he was the devil himself.
"What, scared I'm gonna rape you or something?" Kendall grinned in twisted superiority, jokingly moving the stuck knee against Logan's crotch. The latter looked completely scandalised, pressing himself as much as he could away from Kendall.
Kendall increased the pressure of his palm on Logan's shoulder, still making a show of rubbing himself against the other until they were both embarrassingly hard and Logan was speechless, watching the smirking boy in abject horror.
"Dude," he choked out, melting against Kendall (however terrifying that was). "Never, ever, do that ever again."
"What, you didn't like it?" Kendall pouted obnoxiously, looking at his distressed band mate. "C'mon, we're bored."
"Dude!" Logan spluttered.
Kendall ignored his mortified cries, resuming his rhythm of highly distracting grinding that got to Logan maybe a little more than it should have. He looked down and away, clammy palms pressing against Kendall's shirt as freaking Satan possessed his hips to start moving back. Or maybe it was just hormones.
Or maybe, he thought, terrified, he simply liked Kendall a little more than hockey buddies were supposed to.
He finally brought himself to look at Kendall's face, which was wearing the most shamelessly erotic expression he had ever seen, lids low and 'funny' eyebrows furrowed, soft looking pink mouth hanging open slightly and looking unsettlingly inviting. In a surge of uncalled for want, Logan smashed himself forward as far as possible, curling himself around the other as their lips met awkwardly.
"Fu-uck," Kendall muttered into Logan's wide open mouth, his semi-useless hand flopping around until it found a stomach--his stomach, and flipping over to find Logan's. He slid it down as far as he could muster, still keeping himself twisted around the other boy as he searched for his stupid gay belt.
Kendall broke the kiss for a second, turning his head a degree to the side to speak. "Why do you wear belts," he whined, hitting the inconvenient thing before sliding a hand past into the humid heat of Logan's pants.
Logan convulsed, hitting his head on the plastic of the slide and looking quite embarrassed. He tried to compose himself, watching Kendall again as the latter busied himself with what he could manage of jacking him off while stuck in a tube slide.
"We should…never have gotten this damn thing put in," Logan breathed, bucking up into Kendall's spastically moving hand.
"Yes, we should have," Kendall argued determinedly through gritted teeth.
"But it hurts to be stuck," the other whined, completely losing it as Kendall tightened his grip on his dick, breathing out over his face and groaning quietly. Kendall pulled his hand out of Logan's jeans quite suddenly, using it to grasp his belt buckle and attempt to drag the pants down. It kind of worked with a joint effort from the two, belt stuck around his thighs.
Kendall braced himself on the other boy's shoulders, trying to force Logan's legs around his waist and get his own cock out.
"Spread your legs a little," Kendall ordered, something that Logan never, ever expected to hear from his best friend, and was mildly traumatising.
"The freaking slide has a diameter of, like, two feet!"
"Yeah, whatever, so does my dick."
"Kendall!" He was horrified that the other would say something so vile, but, then again….well, nothing.
Kendall bit his lip, sliding down and forward and trying to position himself.
Logan, consequently, flipped out.
"Dude!" he screeched. "I have never done this ever and I'm not doing it with you with no preparation in a plastic fucking slide!"
"It's gotta be your first time sometime," Kendall said nonchalantly, and it struck him that they had sort of switched roles since the beginning of their 'escapade': at first, Kendall had been defensive and worried, and now he had calmed down a good amount.
He heard a slamming noise--the door. Shit.
"Logan? Ken? Where are you guys?" James called into the kitchen, and Logan squirmed against Kendall, who was giving him the say-anything-and-I'll-beat-you look.
"We're in here, stuck!" Logan yelled, and Kendall grabbed his hips with his free hand and shoved himself in, earning an ear-splitting scream from the former.
"Aw, come on," Carlos said, footsteps approaching the slide. "What'd you guys do this time?" He was laughing his sentences out, perennially amused at the sticky situations the band often landed itself in.
"Kendall went down when I was going up," Logan gasped, whining out each word like he was dying. He heard James murmuring something about some party, and his hand reaching up into the slide.
James grabbed Kendall's leg, and Kendall Logan's forearm, both of them being dragged out in a mess with the combined tugging of James and Carlos. Kendall looked up hopelessly at the absent two as they stared down in amazement, Logan's face contorted in pain.
Kendall pulled out, sniffing as he got to his shaking feet and zipped up. Logan was just laying there with that face, hard dick out in front of him for the world to see. The first tried to walk into the bathroom, but James stopped him, holding onto his t-shirt.
"Hey, you have some explaining to do if you ask me."
Carlos nodded, glancing over at a still-stupefied Logan.
Kendall sighed, squirming and sticky with precum. "I was just going down the slide like any normal human being, and then Logan got me stuck in there and said that my eyebrows looked funny."
"And so you went and molested him?" James asked, eyeing me strangely.
"Th-that's beside the point, the point is he said--"
"Your eyebrows do look funny," Carlos interjected, looking first at Logan and then at the smoking oven. "And my cookies are about done."