I am soooooo sorry I haven't written in a while! I have had the worst cast of writer's block and was contemplating whether or not I really wanted to continue to write anymore. But this show was just so powerful and gave me the inspiration to keep on keepin' on.

So, enjoy, lovlies. As always, I love hearing from you, so please drop a review!

Prologue:

It started out as a simple Facebook post.

Torrey is such a slut.

At first, I thought nothing of it. The status was written by none other than Ms. I'm-so-perfect Casi Harrison, aka the self-proclaimed "princess" of North Ridge High School. She would look down on anybody who's family wasn't loaded and used her so-called friends as slaves for her own probably demonic desires. I was one of her favorite targets. Considering that we had once been friends, and that ended with a long, complicated falling out that I would much rather not get into right now.

Now, I know what you're all thinking; how could such a creative, original, and positively awesome person as Torrey Parker be friends with such a sneaky, spoiled bitch? But I wasn't always the person I was today. I had been a new kid, once upon a time, beginning her freshman year at North Ridge with nobody to turn to and eager to make some friends. My father had an affair and mom had brought my younger sister and I across the country to sunny California, where I knew absolutely nobody and felt all alone in my humid, tropical hell. I was vulnerable, easily manipulated, and a bad pushover. So not the way I am now, but more on that later.

Anyways, I met Casi and her little gang of puppets when I walked into the bathroom. They were fixing their hair and giggling together as if someone said something funny. Of course, they were all pretty, but Casi was beautiful. Her blonde hair fell in perfect, golden waves, her clothes flattered her thin, willowy frame, and her features were soft and needed little make-up to pronounce them. It was as if everything about her mattered; it all played a part and served a purpose in making her look like a fallen angel. (God, I sound so pathetic right now)

She took me under her wing, and we soon became really close friends. It was all so surreal; even now, I have no idea why she chose me. I was pretty, but not in an obvious way like the other members of her little group. My body was all bones, harsh features, and pale skin. The golden highlights I got in my light brown hair last year didn't help to make it any more shiny or controllable. It normally just fell where it did in slightly frizzy waves. I was plain, but still Casi brought me into the fold. Everything was perfect.

But everything changed.

After two years dating, Seth Greenwitch-Casi's jock boyfriend-broke up with her for another girl. She was a pretty sophomore named Jenni Cravitz, and the two began to date a week later. Casi was really messed up after it happened, and she recruited us to help break them up, claiming that Seth really wanted her back and was making a huge mistake. Now, I didn't exactly agree with the idea of trying to break the new couple up, but I would have done anything to make them like me, so I went along with it.

Casi had everything planned out a week later. She wanted us to lead Jenni into the girl's bathroom in the west wing, and then we would make sure that she never even looked at Seth again. I didn't know Jenni that well, but I knew that she was a very kind and pretty sensitive girl, and the thought of terrorizing her left a lump in my throat. But, I swallowed down my feelings and ended up helping to lure Jenni to our meeting place that day, telling her that we wanted to give her a makeover, make her feel included in our little clique. When Jenni smiled that sweet smile and followed us down the hall, I felt like that lump had sunk like a ball of lead into my stomach.

When we got to the bathrooms, Casi was there. I could barely step into the bathroom at first. But could hear the voices. "So, you're the little sophomore Seth is dating now," she purred, like a lioness about to strike.

"Um, yeah, I-I guess," Jenni replied. I could hear the twinge of panic in her voice.

"Well, let me tell you a little something about Seth; he's mine. We're still very much together, and he's only pretending to date you because I told him to." The nasty edge to Casi's voice sent chills up my spine, and it took me a minute to realize I was trembling. What was I doing, trying to hurt such a nice girl? This wasn't me. Despite these thoughts, another part of me knew that if I tried to stop what was happening, it would change everything.

"Why would you do that? I-I don't believe you." Jenni's tear-choked voice was like a young child's. The hurt and pain broke my heart.

"Well, I bet him that he could make you like him. After all, you're just a dirty little whore, going after someone's boyfriend like that-,"

"Okay, that's enough." My voice was almost as small as Jenni's as I stepped further into the tiled room, ignoring the smell of toilet and stepping in front of the defenseless girl. Casi's cold sapphire eyes narrowed. "Leave her alone. You're only doing this because you're jealous that Seth found someone better." To this day, I have no idea what came over me. I just couldn't take watching Jenni suffer like that for one more second. After I said it, my nerves were on fire, and I knew that what I'd just done would earn me a fate much worse that Jenni's. But the funny thing is that I never regretted it.

"What did you say to me?" Casi growled, while her "friends" stood around looking shocked and upset at hearing the words that they never had the guts to say that themselves.

Though I tried my best to look intimidating, it probably came out sounding feeble. "I said you're jealous. Now, why don't you run along and find someone who can tolerate your horrible personality, okay? We're done."

"You are so dead," she whispered hastily before the group filed out, flipping their hair and trying to look superior.

"Thank you." Surprisingly strong arms wrapped around me. I hugged Jenni back, taking in her vanilla perfume and shaking sobs, still not fully realizing what had just went on but desperate to comprehend.

"You're welcome. I'm sorry for leading you here to this."

Jenni pulled away and dabbed at her eyes with a paper towel. "It's okay. You saved me in the end. But I think you just made enemies with Casi. That girl could really make your life miserable. You worried?"

"No," I replied with a forced scoff of nonchalance. "She can't do anything to hurt me."

Boy, was I wrong.

Casi managed to get the whole school against me. She spread nasty rumors about me sleeping around, having STD's, and even working as a prostitute. Everybody began to send me horrible messages and left posts on my Facebook wall. I began to block the people on the internet, but that didn't stop them from saying it at school. The only one who stood by me was Jenni, and though she was truly supportive, I still felt like the entire world was against me. The whole ordeal spiraled me into a severe depression. I didn't eat, I barely slept without having nightmares, and my grades began to plummet. My parents worried, of course, but there was nothing they could do. There was no way I was going to tell them about the miseries I dealt with on a daily basis. If they went to the school, it would only make things worse.

One night, while I was on my Facebook, I got a message. Though I blocked everyone who sent me horrible things, it still sent a pang of fear through me. My finger hovered over the button until I gained the will to open it. The message was from a freshman named Lisa Wilds, a girl I've never even spoken to.

You know, nobody would care if you just never came back. Why don't you do everyone a favor and just die already?

When I saw that, something inside of me broke. The last of the ties I still had to my sanity were just cut. I slammed my laptop screen shut and threw it across my bed, silent tears streaming down my cheeks and leaving little wet dots on my red and white bedspread. As I stood up, wincing a little as my feet made contact with the cold hardwood floor, I padded over to my ajar door and down the hall to the master bath. With all the quietness of a cat burglar, I opened a cabinet door and pulled out a half-full bottle of Xanex. It took a few tries and all the little strength I could muster, but I managed to get the top off. With shaking breaths, I dumped a handful of the small capsules into my hand. After a silent goodbye, I began to bring the drugs to my lips.

"Torrey!"

The bathroom light snapped on. My mother stood in the open doorway, a trembling hand over her mouth, staring at me in horror. She reached out and slapped my hand, sending the pills to the floor. I gasped and felt my knees buckle beneath me, sending me to the white linoleum, knees and hands slamming down. I was too numb to feel the pain. I was cold and shivered with the realization of what I had just been prepared to do.

"M-mom…I wanna die…." She wrapped her arms around me, and we sat huddled together for what seemed like hours on the bathroom floor littered with drugs.

Mom had called an ambulance, despite my insistence that I hadn't taken or done anything to harm myself. I was brought to Ocean Park Hospital, where after a series of tests that took all night, a bunch of doctors who didn't know a thing about me decided it would be best if I entered the hospital as a patient to make sure that I was stable. Mom had agreed, much to my shock and chagrin. How could she let me be trapped here, when I was perfectly normal? I know I hit a rough patch, but I was a very normal teenager. How would she feel if she were getting harassed on a daily basis by people who didn't even know you? If there was something wrong with me, I would have noticed by now. Despite my begging, Mom and eight year-old Eve took their leave with hugs and promises to visit soon. As they walked out the door, I learned what being truly alone felt like. It was a dark, empty void where everything you've ever felt comes rushing back and you realize that there is no escape because you have nobody to pull you back out. A scream that made my throat raw escaped my lips and I began to pound my fists against the light wood floor. It took two nurses to pin me down and lead me down a series of complicated hallways to the psychiatric ward.

I know a lot of you may find my story as cliché or too predictable, but it is actually how it happened. I've been told by all of the therapists and doctors that try to get into my head that helps to be honest and to write how you're feeling. So that's what I'm going to do, because if I have to stay another day in this hospital I think I'm going to go insane.