The concept of friendship wasn't alien to Dylan. It was the give and take of trust and that sense of connection which hindered his social the back of Dylans mind as Lofty locked gazes with him, there he could feel a bond that terrified him.
Ben's pain was Dylans guilt as he realised the part he played in it all. He leant back in his chair as the days events washed over, no drowned him in guilt and horror. He knew Ben looked up to him for some strange reason and ad acted upon this. Boxing his emotions up, he had spent the aftermath of that terrible event trying unsuccessfully be the rock for his friend who'd helped him in more ways than one. In return Dylan had cajoled him into a role that had tested Ben to his mental limits and ended in Diane's death.
How many times had Lofty looked tired after a shift or even when he asked, no, told Dylan he couldn't do it-
" Dylan? Do you want to take a break" a soft voice murmured behind him
"On call rooms free, I can send Zoe in for a bit"
Dylan snapped up from curling further into himself, heart hammering in his chest.
"Urm no, I'm fine – thank you" he added as an afterthought as he ran faintly trembling fingers through his hair, recoiling from Ritas gentle sympathy.
Rita's eyes bored into his skull as she read into every one of his lies.
"Dylan, we're standing behind Lofty and we're standing behind you too, he made a mistake but it was an accident" she stressed 'stop blaming yourself".
There it was; sympathy he didn't deserve.
Dylan did the only thing he knew how to do and walked away.
He missed the slight shake of Ritas head as she and Zoe shared a concerned look.