The long awaited anticipated confrontation
He left, just as he had so many times. Before she hadn't stopped him, she had just let him. This time it was different. Dumbledore was dead and she may never see him again. Not if the order broke up because of it. All the anger and passion inside of her was inside of her was taking its toll. All she wanted to do was release it. She needed to know even if it did dash all her hoped. Depression had been settled on her soul for far too long and she was, quite plainly sick of excuses. Rising from her seat she bid every one good bye, said a quiet thank you to Molly and then followed him at a jog.
"Remus John Lupin don't walk away from me again. Turn around and face me. Please, if this is the last time I'm going to see you at least let me see your face. Please." Even he could hear the pain in her voice and it broke his heart. Yet he stayed stubborn and refused to turn around.
"I I can't Tonks." She was surprised at how defeated he sounded. Immediately her anger began to burn once again.
"Please we need to talk and if I never get to see you again then I'm certain that I would rather see your face just one last time." He sighed and turned around, slowly and kept his calculating on the floor in front of her.
"I have one question and I want an honest answer. No excuses." She paused and took a deep breath "Do you love me? Just look me in the eye and tell me that you don't and you'll never see me again. Please, how else am I supposed to move on?"
He looked extremely angry, for a moment she had to consider if he was going to lose control. He looked like a werewolf for the first time yet it didn't scare her in the slightest. If anything it made her love him more, just knowing that he was human and could lose control. However hard she tried she couldn't dismiss the thought that she wished he would lose control in a much more satisfying way. He still had not answered her question; he just stood in front of her with his fists clenched, breathing heavily.
"Please Remus; I'm begging you I haven't been able to morph since that night. I don't understand any of this. So please explain."
"What exactly is it that you expect me to say, Tonks."
"The truth Remus that's all I ask. Just tell me you don't love me and I'll leave. Is it really that hard to just say it?"
"You don't understand. How could you? Fine I will answer your question." He paused and broke their long maintained eye contact. "I. Don't. Love. You."
She had a pitiful look in her eyes as she looked at him one last time. Her resolve crumbled and she dry sobbed then with a final glance at his eyes she steeled herself and turned away. As she walked away she held her head as high as she could. But as she slowly walked away he could see her head dropping slightly with every step away from him. He had once again lied to her about his feelings. Inside he knew that he was killing her. And he could no longer take it. Just as she reached the end of the corridor he started to run after her. Dodging pieces of rubble and debris just as he reached the corner he saw that she was halfway along the corridor. By this time she was half slouched over from the pain of what she thought was unrequited love. He launched himself forward and grabbed her wrist. Spinning her around, he pinned her against the wall with a hand on either side of the heart shaped head. Her wand was awkwardly positioned against his throat, although it should have relaxed when she saw it was him it tensed.
"Have you come to torment me further? Do you find it funny that you cause me such pain? Why can't you just leave me alone? I can't take any more." She started sobbing. One of his hands came down from the wall to caress her cheek and wipe away the tears that were cascading down her cheek. All he wanted to do was to lean down and kiss her. So badly in fact that he was finding it hard to remember self control. His voice would not say what needed to be said so he merely stated:
"I lied." She was shocked into silence and her sobs vanishing left an echoing silence in their place.
She hiccupped and said "I don't understand."
"Tell me you need me. Tell me you want me. Tell me you love me and can't live without me and I'll tell you some thing. A secret. Quickly though I don't know how much longer I can stand it for."
"I need you. I want you. I love you more then anyone. I honestly can't live without you and I fall apart every time you leave. But it still doesn't change any thing, does it? Now let me go Remus I can't stand this torture any more."
"But you're forgetting something."
"Like what?"
"I have a confession"
"Enlighten me."
He took a deep breath and kissed her. She let out a gasp of surprise and ecstatically responded. The kiss was fiery and full of passion and they were bruising their lips. Her arms came up to yank at his hair roughly yet with hidden sentiments and his came from next to her head to the small of her back. His tongue entered her mouth and they created a series of intricate, teasing movements. He pushed her up against the wall as her legs collapsed and his hand slipped beneath the weird sister's t shirt that she wore.
Eventually they had to let go of each other so they could breathe and she delicately traced her fingers over his lip. All the way down to his collar bone where she paused to replace her fingers with butterfly kisses, teasing him. All she could think of was that night and before she could stop it the question had escaped her lips:
"Why?"
He sighed and paused in kissing her neck to respond "Because I was tired of trying to fight it, to fight you. Because I am too weak to do what is right. Because I want you as much as you want me. Because I can't live without you for another day. Because if I didn't follow you then I would never see you again and I would rather die. Because I am too tired to resist you any more. Because I caused you such pain that I often contemplated killing myself to end it. Because I can't live without you. Because you are not afraid of me when you should be. But most of all because I love you. Did you hear that? Tonks I love you. Please tell me it's not too late. I love you. I love you. I love you."
"I love you Remus" she whispered and she kissed him again. The passion behind the kiss astounded them both.
This was certainly not the outcome either of them planned for from their long awaited anticipated confrontation, but neither was going to complain. Well they had both dreamed of it since that long summer's night a year ago to the very day.
