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A/N: Hello, it has been a while, hasn't it? This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter oneshot and I hope it goes alright because...well...I only have...one shot. BADUM TSS...
Pun aside, this story will be about what would happen behind the scenes if the Code Geass characters were live actors making a TV series. I might also reference some Code Geass memes, so meme up before reading! Essentially, this is a parody. Enjoy!
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Chapter 1 - Pleasure Fish
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"I will proceed to pleasure myself with this fish. Wait, what?!"
"What, what?"
"I mean what, as in I'm not saying that!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kururugi, but that's the script. We did a direct translation from Japanese, and sometimes the internet likes to do strange things."
"I'm still not saying that! Can't we change it to something normal?"
Suzaku Kururugi stood shirtless on the shores of Waikiki Beach, Hawaii. Cradled in his arms lay a large fish, shiny and slimy. He looked down in horror at the creature in his arms.
"But Mr. Kururugi, that's the script! We try to stick to the original Japanese as much as possible!"
"I don't care! I'm not saying that stupid line! No bestiality here!"
"Whatever you say...take 5!"
"Rolling...and...action!"
Suzaku mentally prepared himself for the traumatic lines he was about to deliver to the rest of the nation and the world. Code Geass, as the show was called, was set to be one of the most popular anime series of all time, due to the popularity of the manga.
"I will proceed to pleasure myself...shit-!" He threw down the fish into the sand and stormed off in a rage.
"Cut!"
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Jeremiah Gottwald was in his orange trailer sipping on a cardboard juice carton. Next to him sat an orange garbage can, filled to the brim with discarded MinuteMaid orange juice cartons. Someone knocked on his door.
"What's the password?"
"Huh?"
"The password!"
"I don't know!"
"Take a guess."
"Uh...yellow?"
"It's orange, you dim-wit!"
"...orange."
"Granted!"
The director's assistant stepped into the trailer and took note of a nearby case of orange juice cartons.
"Gottwald, you're on set in fifteen." He looked at Jeremiah "Orange" Gottwald, then the garbage can, then at Jeremiah. "What are you doing?"
"Getting into character?" He offered. He slurped the last of the juice, then tossed the empty carton into the air. It flipped several times before landing in the garbage bin, next to the other empty cartons.
"Score! Two points for Orange boy! That's his fourteenth basket of the night, folks! Whee, I gotta take a piss now."
"Alright..."
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Kallen held up the ridiculously thin scrap of clothing and glared at it. They were filming the first episode of the new season. She was to play a waitress in the seedy casino where the other Black Knights would meet her. Much to her dismay, she was to wear her costume for quite some time after they escaped.
"If I ever get my hands on the costume designer, I'll-"
A nearby shuffle of feet told her someone was behind her.
"Tamaki, you creep! Get out of here!"
"Sorry! I went in the wrong-"
"The sign says female! Dammit, can't you read?"
"Director wants you out in five minutes! He says to hurry up with the suit!"
Kallen stepped out of the changing room, holding a pair of bunny ears attached to a headband. Tamaki oggled at the sight.
"Heh...you're a bunny girl now? So much for Kallen, Ace Pilot of-"
Kallen was on top of him in an instant, pummeling his face into the ground. Security had to call five guards before she relented her blows.
Tamaki was sent to the hospital in critical condition, delaying the release of the English dub of the anime by two years.
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