A/N Hey everyone this is my first fanfic.

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Thanks=) Enjoy!

Chapter 1- Im Wide Awake, Its Morning

Today is going to be no better than the past seven. I am miserable. The pain and heartache hasn't faded any. Actually I think its gotten worse. Because with each passing day I missed him more and more.

I was still in bed when I heard my door slam open and hit the wall. I didn't care enough to even turn to look at who it was.

"Bell you can't do this to yourself. I thought I would let you handle this yourself but clearly thats not going to work. So i'm putting my foot down." My best friend Rosalie yelled from my doorway.

I turned towards her voice ready to argue with her to leave me alone but the sight at my door took me by suprise.

I expected to see Rose of course, but what i didn't expect was my other two best friends Emmet and Jasper right behind her.

"What are you all doing here?" I finally mumbled in a dead voice.

"What do you think we're doing here! You have been up here for a week, you won't return our phone calls, or answer our texts. We are worried about you. Your dad says you barley eat and won't talk to him either. Your getting out of here and having some fun." Rosalie pratically shouted at me.

"Rose I don't want to go anywhere. Now get out and leave me alone" I said lifelessly.

She still just stood there in the middle of my room probably contemplating what approach to use next.

I knew this was coming soon. Rose couldnt stay away for long , I knew she would find out eventually, and she can't just let me suffer in peace.

I opened my mouth to argue when Emmet decided to do this his way.

Before i realized what was happening I was slung over Emmet's shoulder being carried into the bathroom. I began flailing and pounding on his back.

"Emmet put me down!"I managed to shout.

Thats when Jasper interviened.

"Em hold up." Emmet stopped walking and turned his back to Jasper so he could look at me. "Bells we know your suffering right now, and we know you don't want to be around anyone."

"But, please, please do this for us." He was pleading with me now. "You have us worried, just come with us to the beach for a few hours just to give us some peace of mind. And if you want you can even sulk the whole time, just as long as you come. We are only trying to help. Plus think of your dad. He's the one that called us. He's worried sick about you."

That did it. I sighed, he's right. This isn't fair to them or Charlie. I nodded into Emmet's back in defeat. Dang Jasper, always having to be the reasonable one.

Emmet gently set me down again and Rose immediatly wrapped her arms around me tightly.

I hadn't been able to cry yet, my body went completely numb to try and protect myself from the pain as much as possible. But now in the comfort of my best friend's arms the numbness disappeared, and I couldn't hold back my sobs any longer.

Rose held me as I cryed in her arms, rubbing reassuring circles on my back whispering "its okay, its going to be okay."over and over into my hair, her voice breaking every now and then.

After a few more minutes I got control of myself and backed up from Rose's embrace and gave her a truly genuine smile. She had tears in her eyes and just smiled back.

"Alright lets get you ready" Rose said wipping a few lingering tears from my face. I nodded back.

"Yeah Buddah take a shower you kinda stink." Emmet said plugging his nose and waving the air away from him with his hand.

I glared at him but had to laugh, they all joined in my laughter. I instantly felt guilty when they all sounded so relieved. They are truly worried,

I took a deep breath and went to the bathroom to get ready. Emmet's right I really do need a shower.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

We were in Emmets red jeep driving down to the beach. It was actually a really beautiful, sunny day. I live in Forks, Washington one of the wetest places in the continental U.S. so a sunny day is very rare.

As we drove up to the beach I groaned, this is not where I want to be right now. Everyone is so happy and care free, laughing with all their friends and having fun.

I am not in the mood for having fun, or being around people having fun. But I promised my friends I would at least try, so I sucked up and got out of the car.

There were a ton of people here taking advantage of the nice day, it as extremly crowded, but me and Rose managed to find a decent sized spot. We were sitting on some lawn chairs she brought, while Emmet and Jasper were surfing.

Despite my attempts to sulk like Jasper promised I would be allowed to do, I was actually having a decent time. The warm summer day got to me. I was enjoying relaxing with my best friends, it was finally begining to feel like summer.

"So Bells are we ever gonna talk about this?" Rose finally asked.

I sighed, knowing exactly what she's talking about.

"Not right now Rose, please. Im not quite ready"I pleaded.

She nodded understanding. "Whenever your ready, im here" She said sincerly.

I was thankful Rose wasn't a pushy person. Of course she can be like this morning, but she knows my limits.

I have known Rosalie pratically my whole life. We have grown up together, and have always been best friends. We have done everything together for as long I can remember. We've always been more like sisters.

She is one of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen. But the thing about Rose is she knows she's beautiful but she doesn't flaunt it like most girls with her looks would. She is confidant but is never malicious about it. She would never use her looks to put you down.

She is tall, with long, golden blonde, curly hair that falls around her beautiful face perfectly. Not to mention she has a body that any model would kill for.

And even though she's obviously way prettier than me, she thinks im beautiful. Even when I argue with her about it, I never win. According to her beauty is from the inside and out, and I have both. She makes sure to tell me everyday im beautiful, and I love her for it.

"Come on lets go swim with the boys" Rose said pulling me out of my thoughts.

I groaned but let her pull me out of my chair and towards the water.

I was inching in slowly when Emmet tackled me from behind fully immersing me in the water. It was suprisingly warm, thank goodness.

I got up and hit Emmet in the arm as his laughter boomed.

"Em that was so not funny"I whined.

"Sorry sis, but it is." He laughed louder, as if that was even possible.

I met Emmet about 8 years ago, in elementary school. I was the little 3rd grader and he immediatly became like my protector.

He is huge in a muscular way, and always has been even back then. But despite his size he has a warm, inviting presence about him. I instantly took to him even as a little girl. He calls me his little sister, because thats how he's always treated me.

"Oh your going to pay for that Emmet." I fake glared at him.

He just smiled, lifting his arms "Bring it, Buddah Bella."

I tried to tackle him into the water but I just flew into his chest not even budging him. I laughed at my weak attempt as he easily lifted me into his chest and slammed us both into the water.

I was laughing so hard I forgot all about my pain for awhile and was actually having fun.

I stood up trying to regain my balance when I heard chuckles from behind me. I turned around to a perfectly dry Rosalie, and Jasper standing next to her, laughing at mine and Emmets little battle.

They dont think there getting out of this do they? I gave Em a side glance and he immediatly caught on. He nodded a signal and we both charged at them tackling them into the water.

He took Rose and I got Jasper. Of course I couldn't get Jasper in the water alone, but he let me push him in.

Jasper is Rose's twin brother. Like her he has golden blonde, curly hair that falls into his face, and deep blue eyes, and although not my personal taste, is very attractive.

Me and Jasper have always gotten along for as long as i've known him. He has a cool, collective personality and is just easy to be around.

We were all laughing hysterically as we continued dunking and splashing each other like 10 year olds. None of us even minded that people are staring at us like we've gone nuts, Rose didn't even mind that she was getting her hair wet.

I think we were all just relieved that we are having fun. Its been a good month since we have laughed like this. Its been a week since I have laughed at all.

I liked having fun. Its a great distraction from the pain. For the last few hours I forgot all about last week, all about the heartache I should be feeling.

At that moment I had never been more grateful for my friends. They were truly helping me, like they promised they would. But that appreciation was nothing compared to how I felt only a few minutes later.

In the midst or our childish water fight, none of us noticed who was coming in to join us, until we heard his voice.

"Hey guys! How have you been?" A familar voice asked. I froze. I know that voice, I would do anthing for that voice for that voice.

I was on Jaspers back when he turned around and there he was standing directly in front of me with his unbeliavably adorable smile across his face.

There he is, My Nate.

So there it is, the first chapter.

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