Disclaimer: I don't own this. Everything belongs to SM.
**So, I had a dream about this one. I love it. Its my first one-shot but I think its wonderful. I've never cried writing my own story before, but I managed to bawl writing this.
I have a few songs that I listened to writing this.
Just a Dream- Carrie Underwood
Come Home Soon- SHeDAISY
Traveling Soldier- Dixie Chicks
Wonderful songs, totally go with this. :)
Enjoy.
I rolled over in the bed, to see the love of my life, Edward, staring in my eyes. My heart started to beat faster, and a fresh blush covered my face.
"Hey." He whispered.
"Hey." I whispered back. Everything started to come into context with me then. I think Edward noticed, cause he pulled me closer. "No! I slept! I'm so sorry." I said in a regular voice. Edward was leaving today. He had signed up in the army before we met, and he was getting sent overseas today. I had planned on not sleeping last night, so I wouldn't waste a moment. But I slept! How could I do that?!
"Its okay love. I wanted you to sleep." He said in my hair, rubbing my back with his hand.
"I didn't." I started to get hysterical. "When do you leave?" My voice broke.
"In about an hour. I'm already packed." He said reluctantly. I noticed then that his breath smelt like mints and he was in his regular clothes. A tear escaped from my eyes.
"Do you have to go?" I asked him in a whisper. Knowing the flood of tears I was holding back were coming soon.
"Yes, I wish I didn't. When I signed up I had nothing to live for, I was brought up knowing I'd have to join the army. I wanted to be able to protect someone, some way. Then you came along, and suddenly my life meant so much more to me. I don't want to go. But I have to." He's told me this a few times already, and it still hurt to hear it. He joined the army because he promised his real father that he'd join. I met him just a week to late. I was proud of him in every way imaginable, but that didn't mean I wasn't selfish and wanted him here with me where I knew he was safe.
"I love you." I said, kissing his neck.
"And I love you." His voice faltered as I continued to kiss him. "What are you doing?" He could feel me sucking on his flesh.
"I'm marking you as mine." I said in his neck. He laughed, and pulled me away.
"I think I should leave you one." He moved to my neck, making my breathing suddenly hard to keep up. My heart managed to beat faster and my face was probably a deep red by now. He grabbed one of my hands, and pulled back. "I wanted to do this in a different way. Perhaps over a romantic dinner, but I cant imagine leaving without you knowing how much I truly love you. Isabella Marie Swan, I love you with all my heart, and I want to wake up to your smiling face every day for the rest of my life." I had stopped breathing then, tears escaping my eyes, my heart hear was beating out of my chest. "Will you marry me?" He looked into my eyes, pulling out a ring. I recognized it immediately. It was his mothers, and it made me cry even harder. I had a million replies, most were fluffy bits about how much I loved him and how I wanted to wake up to him every day too. Others were about how angry I was about him asking me the day he leaves, but I figured I couldn't imagine him asking me any other day.
"Yes." I smiled big, letting him put the beautiful ring on my finger. I looked at it for a while, basking in the moment. Then I looked into his eyes, and saw how happy I made him with just one word. "I love you." I said again, kissing him deeply. He usually pulled away after a moment, and I was expecting him to do that, but he grabbed my hair in his hands and crushed me closer to him. He licked my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth allowing his tongue in. I met his with my own, and moaned a little. I'm making out with my fiance! I screamed in my head. But sadly, he pulled away kindly, before taking my hand and kissing each finger until he reached my ring finger.
"Mrs. Cullen." He whispered against the ring, and for a moment I forgot to breathe. He kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheek, my chin, and finally my lips before he sat up and got out of the bed. All the bliss I was thriving in shattered. He was leaving. He came back, with his jacket on and wiped my tears away.
"I love you." I said once more. "Come back to me."
"I love you." He answered. "Forever." He kissed me.
"I'm counting on that." I got up and followed him to the door. He had asked me not to come with him, if I did he said he wouldn't be able to go. And that made me want to go all the more.
"You've got my heart." He said, before closing the door. I wasn't sure how long I was on the floor sobbing. At some point Alice, his sister came over. She held me until the sobs stopped.
"He's coming back." She comforted me.
"I know. It just hurts." I'm sure I looked horrible.
"If it didn't there'd be something wrong." She looked down at my hand, and her eyes got huge. "Whats this?" She asked.
"He asked me this morning." I smiled down at it. I didn't like the idea of marriage at my age, but it felt so right to be marrying him.
"We've got to start planning!" She squealed.
"Alice, I just got engaged."
"I know, but you don't understand how difficult it will be to get a great venue." I smiled at her, she was trying so hard.
"I guess we could start to plan." I wanted to make her feel better.
"Great!" She nearly tackled me.
Six months later...
One more week, one more week, one more week... I kept telling myself. Edward was coming home for the holidays, and I would be able to hold him in my arms in just one week. I could barely contain my excitement.
The past six months had been horrible. I kept having nightmares, my appetite had gone down considerably, and I worried every day. When the phone rang I was always scared that it would be a phone call telling me he wasn't coming home. Always.
Alice had the wedding planned already, but we weren't getting married until he was finished. That was going to be another two years, I don't know how I'm going to make it. But his letters I got in the mail everyday made me hold onto my hope. Sometimes they wouldn't come, and he'd send two letters to make up for it. He was in danger, and he still managed to write me. I wrote back, as much as I could. Telling him about the wedding, or how his family was. Sometimes I'd just write about how much I truly loved him. Those letters usually got me two in return.
I had everyone over for dinner. I couldn't sit around at home, I had to keep busy so I cooked all day. They all came together, which made my job easier. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Without them I wouldn't be sane.
"Smells good." Emmett's booming voice hollered.
"The beer's in the fridge." I said, knowing what he was getting at. He beamed, and ran into the kitchen. Rosalie rolled her eyes, and hugged me.
"It really does smell good." She said.
"Thanks."
"Speaking of food, what do you want to eat at the wedding?" Alice asked.
"We already planned the menu." I reminded her. I wanted chicken.
"True, but I thought you might want something a little more... fancy." She shrugged, giving me that look that told me she wasn't going to stop pesturing me about this.
"Hey Jasper." I smiled. Jasper was one of those not really touchy people, but he still hugged me anyway.
"Bells, where's the remote?" Emmett yelled.
"On the TV." I said, I heard the tv turn on playing the game that was on.
"Hello Bella." Esme greeted me. "Do you need any help?" She asked, hugging me close.
"Nope. Thank you though." It was basically finished.
"Alright." She smiled walking over to the other girls.
"Hi Bella." Carlisle hugged me. "Thanks for having us over."
"Thanks for coming over." I retorted. He went to sit down on the couch, and watch the game. I looked at my soon-to-be family, and I saw what I want my life to be like. I wanted to be able to having these get-together's with his family, with Edward's arms wrapped around me, and have children playing around. I wanted to have this be my forever. And thats when the phone rang.
I walked over smiling to myself, I'm such a sap.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Ms. Swan?" A deep voice asked, my heart plummeted.
"Yes?" I could feel my breath get shorter.
"There was an accident." He explained, I closed my eyes, dreading the words that were going to come next.
"Edward is... gone." And my world ended. He must have talked for at least twenty minutes telling me what happened. He was on a reconnaissance mission, and he never came back. When they went after him, all the found was a charred body.
"Miss swan are you there?" He asked again.
"Yeah I'm here." I barely managed a whisper, that's when Edward's family noticed something. What am I going to tell them?
"We're sending the--" Don't say it, don't say it. "Body over. It'll be at the morgue in a day or two." When he said it, I couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down, I started to cry.
"Thanks." I said, before hanging up.
"Bella who was that?" Alice called, I began to cry harder, falling to the floor.
"Bella?" Esme called now, her voice frantic.
"Edward's dead." I sobbed. "He's not coming home."
"Not my son!" Esme screamed. I heard Alice sobbing.
"Are-- Are you sure?" Rosalie asked, "There's got to be a mistake. He can't be dead." She was hysterical.
"They're sure." I cried. Rose started sobbing, my house was filled with the sounds of mourning people. Esme and Carlisle lost their son. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmet lost their brother. I lost my heart.
.::..::..::.
The body came when they said it would. Alice and I planned the funeral. There were so many people at the funeral. He was so loved. I knew it, it was extremely hard to hate Edward. It should have made me feel weird, or possibly awkward when I realized more than half the people at the funeral were women.
But I didn't.
I never doubted Edward when he told me he loved me. I never understood it, but I never doubted. I was his; he was mine. It was simple. What's not simple is that I have to use the past tense. I cant say 'Edward is coming home in a few days' As I would have been had things gone differently. Instead I was saying, "Edward was supposed to be home in a few days." I had always hoped that Edward would surprise me and show up a few days early. This isn't what I meant. Esme held me while I cried, I offered her the best kind of comfort I could give her. Renee flew down, she never met him, but she had talked to him for hours over the phone. Talking about our future trips, about what our future was going to be. I used to joke about how he got along with my mom better than he did with me.
I'm not sure what was said at the funeral, Emmett gave the eulogy, I knew that. But every thing was just a blur. I was numb. We were supposed to drive to the funneral, I was halfway in the car when I backed out, and said I was going to walk. It was rainy where we lived, and we rarely got a sunny day, but today of all days it shone. Not one cloud could be seen, and I knew that I couldn't sit in a car while it was so beautiful.
I got there when they were folding the flag. The soldiers handed it to Esme, seeing as how it was customary. I refused to look at the grave, I couldn't. And sooner than I could imagine, it was over. I stood their, finally looking at the grave. Just staring. Not thinking about anything really, just remembering him.
"Bella?" Esme called, waking me from my stupor.
"Yes?" I asked in a thick voice. I noticed that I was crying again.
"I wanted to give you something." She sniffed, crying too. She walked closer to me, her black dress dragging against the snow covered ground. She lifted up her hands, revealing the flag that was so perfectly folded.
"Esme." I looked at her painfully, I couldn't take that. It was hers.
"I want you to have it." She tried giving it to me again. "Edward would want you to have it." She added quickly. She pushed it to me, and then walked off. I looked down in my hands at the flag. It meant so much, more than I could imagine anything mean. I held on to it, falling to the ground. Sobbing. Finally thinking, about anything and everything. I was sure I had put mis-matched socks on. I'm amazed I even was wearing black. I had a feeling Renee had something to do with it. I opened my eyes finally reading the tomb stone.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen
Loved by many. Loved by her."
Three Years later...
I was leaning up against the tomb stone. Much like I did when I came here. Which was a lot of the time.
It had been three years to the date when he died. The pain never dulled, or stopped. I just found out how to live with it.
Alice was expecting a child. Rosalie had just given birth to her first child. And I had a dog named Jacob.
"Hey Edward." I was speaking to him, though of course he wasn't there. "I went with Alice to the doctor. Its twins." I informed him. I knew I looked crazy, but I didn't care.
"Elizabeth said her first word the other day. It was 'score'. You can thank your brother for that. She just sits on his lap day after day watching games with him while he screams at the TV. Rosalie was a little displeased, but she was too excited that Elizabeth was even talking to be too upset." I added with a giggle. Elizabeth was just like Emmett in a girl form. She was a force to be reckoned with, she had Rosalie's looks.
"Renee wanted to come down for..." I let my voice trail off, letting the tears fall. "Well, I told her not to. I don't think I could handle having an audience." I admitted. "According to Alice's plans we'd be married for six months now. I keep think about what it would be like if you were here. If we had gotten married." I started to ramble, absently playing with the ring that never left my finger.
"I wanted to tell you I love you." I began to lose the control I promised I was going to have."So much." I sobbed cradling the flag I brought with me to these visits. I cried for a while before realizing that this was the last trip. I had to let go.
I had to.
So I stood up, taking of the ring, before digging at the grave till there was a deep enough hole that pleased me, and I placed my ring inside.
"I love you." I whispered one last time. Taking my memories with me.
I wished that when I turned around I would find a pair of green eyes staring into mine. Or that I'd finally wake up, laying next to him. Who was I kidding? Stuff like that only happened in soap operas.
As it turns out I had an audience. An audience of one.
"I love you too." Maybe stuff like that really did happen.
**Tell me what you think. :)