This came to mind from the single line about Diego in the plot summary for Ice Age 3. I figured I'd take a swing at trying to envision how Diego will show his dislike for the way the rest of the herd treat him. They really do treat him like a housecat and he deserves respect.

Disclaimer: The characters of Ice Age do not belong to me, but if they did...the 3rd Ice Age would have been out in December like it was supposed to.


"I'm telling you they can't!" Eddie shouted at his brother.

"But all cats do it!" Crash responded.

"Do what?" Sid asked as he walked up to the possum brothers.

"Purr!" Eddie and Crash answered simultaneously in a loud whisper. "We want to know if sabers can purr." Eddie explained further with a nervous glance towards Diego. The saber was napping lazily beneath a large tree with his head resting on his paws. Diego's ear flicked as a fly irritated the delicate hairs there.

"How do we test this theory?" Sid asked with a grin. The possums took one last look at Diego before scampering over to a small pile of branches Sid had gathered earlier. Eddie picked up a long thin branch and handed it to Crash.

Both possums grinned maliciously before carrying out their plan. Crash stood as far from the saber as the stick would allow and began to rub the end of the branch under the saber's chin. Back and forth, back and forth. A rumbling purr began to emanate from the saber's throat, forcing a small giggle out of the herbivores surrounding the predator. A sudden yawn from the sleeping saber startled Crash, causing him to shift the stick into the path of Diego's rapidly closing jaws. The snap of the thin branch between his jaws startled the last bits of sleepiness from Diego's body. He turned to glare at the offending herbivores before launching himself at the possum brothers who separated in different directions in hopes of confusing the feline. Diego decided to chase the mastermind behind his torture; Crash. Crash ran until he found his sister and darted up her massive body and up to her head. Diego followed just a few seconds behind. He slid to a stop before he crashed into the two mammoths.

"Whoa kitty," Manny joked, holding out his trunk to the aggravated saber. "What's going on here?"

"Diego tried to eat us for no reason at all!" Crash exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Diego. Manny gave Diego a look that said "he's not telling the truth is he?" Diego, unfortunately, was not in the mood for Crash's antics and Manny's suddenly fatherly attitude. The saber turned and stalked away, flicking his short tail furiously.

"Where are you going?" Ellie and Manny questioned at nearly the same time.

"Hunting," he turned slightly to where the two mammoths existed only in his peripheral vision "my stomach is growling and you won't let me eat the possum." Diego didn't catch the look Ellie gave Manny. Something was up with their predatory pal and she wasn't one to let her friends suffer alone. The two mammoths' conversation became verbal when Crash fled to find his brother.

"Something is wrong with him!" Ellie exclaimed.

"Well, he's a big kitty; he can deal with whatever it is on his own!" Manny stated. "He doesn't need us getting into everything! We don't need to become Sid!" The bull mammoth knew he would eventually lose the battle, but darned if he wasn't going to try! Ellie's look said everything.

Manny trudged after the disgruntled saber. "If he eats me, I hope she'll feel guilty." The mammoth mumbled to himself. Manny traced the saber's scent as well as a mammoth could until he detected the sickly sweet smell of a fresh kill. He stumbled upon the carcass before he could veer off the path. A half-eaten bison calf lay on its side before him, lain out like a sick display meant to keep intruders away. Manny was not fooled by this however as he had seen Diego lay out this "No Trespassing" sign many times before when he didn't feel like being bothered. The same thoughts however always passed through his mind whenever he found this particular message: How hard it must be for him to even be around us at all; always looking at his next possible meal? How did we ever—

The sound of a rough tongue being dragged rhythmically along fur from above alerted Manny to Diego's presence in the branches just above the mammoth's head. Manny looked up, realizing that he was—not for the first time—eye to eye with the great predator who had somehow become his best friend.

"Manny," Diego stated slowly.

"Diego," Manny said in the same tone. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Diego answered nonchalantly. He then began to lick his paws of the blood from his paws. He lifted one paw lazily, extended the claws of that paw and bit at a tuft of what appeared to be fur lodged between two of the claws.

Manny gestured to the half-eaten carcass. "Thought you were hungry?"

Diego shrugged his powerful shoulders. "I saw Sid on the way out and lost my appetite." Normally Diego was unsettlingly good at lying, but Manny caught the fleeting spark of a lie in the saber's emerald eyes before he turned away to continue his grooming.

"What's really up?" Manny questioned, one furry eyebrow raised.

Diego didn't look up. "Ellie sent you." It wasn't a question.

Manny continued to stare at Diego for a few seconds longer before giving up with a heavy sigh. "Yes, but now I wanna know. So, what's eatin you?" Both mammals thought about Manny's words for a second and Manny noticed the flash of amusement in Diego's eyes. "No pun intended."

Diego stood, slightly unsteady, on the branch and launched himself to the ground. He turned away from Manny and sat on his haunches. "Am I…" he began "Am I going soft? Because I think I am. Sid's not even scared of me anymore!" He threw a paw in the general direction of the current camp but did not turn. "I should not feel guilty everytime I hunt! I should be able to eat and not feel guilty!" Diego's shoulders slumped and his head hung between his massive paws.

"That's all?" Diego couldn't help but look back over his shoulder at the mammoth with a questioning look. "You're living with two mammoths, two possums, and a sloth that are like family and you didn't see this coming? And I thought you were the smart one, Diego." At the sound of Manny's chuckle, Diego had to turn around to see what his mammoth friend was talking about. "Just think about it. You sleep next to a sloth every night, you clean meticulously before coming back after a hunt, you constantly play chase a couple of possums, and you're two best friends are a sloth and a mammoth! Any carnivore would feel guilty after that!"

Manny caught Diego with a level stare before turning abruptly. "Where are you going?" Diego asked, slightly confused.

"To tell Ellie that I couldn't find you." Manny called over his muscular shoulder. "Oh, and I bet you could still scare Sid silly."

"Thanks," Diego said so low the mammoth's ears nearly didn't hear the shield surrounding the saber's pride clang to the dusty ground beneath the mammal's leathery pads. Manny made no indication that he had heard his friend, yet somehow Diego was sure he had. Diego listened to the sound of Manny's quiet retreat back to Ellie and her brothers and maybe Sid was there too. He knew Manny would wait up late for him and then smile at him when he finally came back. He knew Sid would stay up as long as he could—it wouldn't be long, but it's the thought that counts. He also knew he wouldn't be tempted back to the warmth of the fire until Ellie and her obnoxious—yet somehow lovable—brothers were long gone into the land of dreams.

The night was not the place for sabers and all potential prey knew this. The night belonged to the wolves and the cave lions. The sabers could be successful in the night—their eyes are built for it, just like any other cat—but their stocky bodies were not built in a way that allows them to feel like the top predator when night falls. Diego may be an unorthodox saber, but he would not ignore his basic instincts. He headed towards the faint smell of wood smoke once he was sure the newcomers to their little herd were asleep.

Diego walked on soft paws into the small clearing Sid had claimed the herd's own. Diego dropped into a hunter's crouch when he saw that Sid's back was towards the approaching carnivore. Diego leapt with a quiet rumble of a growl--so as not to wake the sleeping mammals—onto the back of the lazing sloth. Sid—to his credit—did not scream but he did yelp. Diego chuckled once and backed off of his herbivorous friend, amusement flickering undisguised in the emerald depths. Manny gave a small smile as Sid pulled himself to his feet, a bit unsteadily, to Manny and Diego's amusement.

"What was that for?" Sid said in a hushed voice as he used his tail to brush off the rock he had been lounging on.

Diego shrugged nonchalantly and tilted his head slightly to the left. "When presented with opportunity one must either strike or be struck."

Sid looked about to argue when he noticed the look he was receiving from Manny. Sid glanced curiously at his carnivorous friend. Diego lay down next to Sid, meticulously cleaning any dirt and debris from his tawny fur. Sid, however, could tell this was different than his friend's normal cleaning ritual.

"Eddie and Crash said they wanted to play tag and I told 'em you were really good at it." Sid said with a wide grin, leaning towards Diego who looked up and smirked.

Diego caught the smirk on Manny's face as well and stated, with a malicious smirk, "Sounds fun; tell them to meet me by the rocks tomorrow."


I hope you enjoyed my little one-shot, I know I did. As always, read and review. Also, as always, please be as truthful with your reviews as you feel comfortable with. I try to do the same with the reviews I leave for others.

-Phantom