A/N: The story behind the drabble you are about to read is this: the other night, deanerystromborne on tumblr (lokis-talking-gallifrey here) made a tumblr post with a very tragic scenario in which Loki and Jane fall in love, but Jane is unable to become immortal and dies after becoming pregnant, due to her body not being able to handle a half-jotunn baby. I thought that was terribly sad, as did many others, and when deanerystromborne continued to push it, I thought 'Two can play at that game!'
And so I took her impromptu little prompt and made it into a story titled 'Glass'.
It also has an alternate title: Why Shay Is In Jail For Murder. :)
But it doesn't end there, for after I wrote that little piece, daenerystromborne went on to suggest another route for the story to go: what if Jane dies, but the child lives? And Loki must go on trying to raise his daughter all while being tormented by the way she looks like her dead mother whom he still loves.
So I decided to take that to heart, and here is the result...
Sometimes, she wakes up in the morning and her door is slightly ajar. Through the little sliver of light she thinks she can see him watching her, but he's gone before she can rub the sleep from her eyes.
Sometimes, she stands in front of the bedroom mirror and stares at her face. She hates it so much. She's always been told that she has her father's eyes and her mother's face, and that she's so beautiful for it. The people who tell her are the people who knew her mother best. They all just want to look at her and see her mother, she just knows it.
Sometimes, she tries to talk to her father, ask him a question, make him go to bed because it's not healthy to stay up all night no matter who or what you are. He gets this funny look in his eyes as he stares at her without truly seeing her. He doesn't hear what she's saying, and he doesn't see anything except that damn face that in his mind, doesn't even belong to her.
Sometimes, she wishes that she was never born. He's an ageless man, her father, one who's spent his life surrounded by other ageless people. He isn't used to loss; isn't meant to experience it like this. He was never supposed to love a mortal woman, but he did. She is the miraculous result, and at the same time she is nothing more than a plaything of fate to remind him that it should have never been. The one time she burst into tears and spilled her sorry heart, it was to her Uncle. He shook her by the shoulders and begged her to never let poison pass her lips again. It was a lie, he said. A lie from the pits of Helheim, never believe it for a moment.
Your mother died so you could live, he said. It was her love for you that kept breath in your lungs when we all thought you were lost. Do not ever blame yourself for that. You have no guilt in being alive.
Sometimes, she almost believes him.
Sometimes, she prays for the day when she no longer cares. She will wake up and see him there with his eyes shining, as he wishes that another would look back at him and she will just roll over and go back to sleep. And when he pretends later on that it never happened, it will mean nothing to her. Her heart will become as cold as the ice that killed her mother, and she would look her father in the eye without fear for once in her pitiful life.
With every passing day of this torment, another little chunk of her heart falls away and dies, and that beautiful, dark day draws ever closer.