Hi everyone! I just wanted to say before you all start reading, that this will be a continuous chapter story. How many chapters, I do not know yet. Right now, I am working on a few at once. I am not certain yet how far I want this story to go, either marriage wise or to even family wise. But don't worry about that, we have a long way ahead of us. Now you might have already read this story, it was the second chapter under 'How It All Started' but then I realized, that it doesn't go with this story, 'How It All Started' was just a brief short of how I thought Peeta really connected the feelings with Katniss. But ANYWAY, I'm talking too much, so just have fun and enjoy!

Settling In

The house seems empty. Not having Prim nor my Mother here is a little hard, but at least Greasy Sae comes by to cook me something to eat. If she didn't come I would have starved to death. She feeds Buttercup too, though he can hunt for himself, he likes the food that he can get fat with. Buttercup somehow found his way back home after I dropped him off far, far into the woods. I was hoping he would drown in a lake or get eaten by a animal but this cat learned well. But even though how much I hate this cat, I need to respect him. He loved Prim as much as I did, and he is the only one that can mourn with me and not tell me that it is okay. I hate when people say that it will be okay, because no matter how many times they say it, it never gets better. It never will.

It is 11:43 and I am still laying in bed, half naked. There is no point of putting on clothes if I am never going to get out of bed anyway. No one comes up in my bedroom when my door is closed, which it always is closed. I go downstairs once and a while to eat what Greasy Sae left for me, or I just give it to Buttercup. I don't think anyone wants to see me anyway, I smell as if I am laying in garbage. Since I have been back from the hospital I haven't showered once. I have been out for a week and a half. I got used to the smell, I smell like Haymitch after sleeping in his own pool of vomit after a hangover.

I don't know what is better though, laying like this forever, or just dying...I think I go with dying. All I want is my sister back, that's all I want and apparently it is just to much to ask for. My mother is off at a hospital taking care of the sick and wounded. She called once, but I let it ring. I am not in the mood for another breakdown from her. It's time for me to have my own in peace, I deserve that.

There is a knock at my door, a loud one. I don't answer. Putting the covers over my body, I roll over to face the door instead of the window. Whoever is on the other side of the door tries opening it, not realizing that the door is locked. Now I am happy that I had undergarments on because Haymitch breaks the door, stomps into my bedroom, and rips the covers off me, pulling me to my feet.
"Jeez sweetheart, " Haymitch wrinkles his nose, "When was the last time you took a shower?" Haymitch is always the one to make me feel worse than I already am.

"When was the last time you brushed your teeth?" I mock.

Haymitch opens my dresser drawers, grabs at anything, and throws it into the bathroom. Then he grabs my arm and pushes me into the bathroom, closing the door. I try to get out but he is holding the door shut.
"Take a shower, brush your teeth...then do it again! Get dressed after and you might as well burn those clothes because Sae will never be ever to get the smell out them!"

I don't answer him but I hit the door. Eventually I obey Haymitch, knowing that there is no need fighting with him right now. I rip off my clothes and throw them in the sink. After turning the shower on to warm up I unbraid my knotty hair. When the water is nice enough, I walk into it, feeling a little relieved, actually. I didn't realize how much my body needed water on it, I have patches of dry skin throughout my body. Cleaning my hair and body as much as I can, I think of what is going on at the hospital.

Johanna Mason is probably doing well, she was acting bad on purpose. All she wanted was the morphling to take the images away. She could be in her home district right now, but there isn't really anything there for her. She could have lived with me if she wanted to, even though I didn't ask her, we would have had someone to talk to. Delly is probably doing fine, she could leave as well but she is just staying for...him. He on the other hand, is probably not making any progress. Last time I heard about him before I left the hospital he was having another episode. I don't really know what to think about him, yet. I mean, I really tried to make him remember me again but every time I was so close getting him back, he would just slip back and have another relapse. In some time I might want to visit him again...

There is a loud bang on the bathroom door "Come on girl, you have been in the shower for thirty minutes!" Haymitch yells.

I didn't realize time went by so quickly. After getting the rest of the sweet smelling soap off of my body, I shut off the shower and get out. I wrap a towel around my body and go over to the sink. Picking up my clothes that I put in the sink, I throw them in the trash, realizing how bad they smell.

After brushing my teeth twice with mint toothpaste, I put on the clothes Haymitch gave me; a green short-sleeve shirt, black pants, and undergarments. Brushing my hair is a little hard, even when it is wet. There is so many knots and tangles that the hairbrush gets stuck every time I put it through my hair. I put it up in my usual braid then bang on the door, "Alright I'm done, open up!"

Haymitch opens the door, "Much better sweetheart."

I walk out of the bathroom and sit on my bed, "Would you like to tell me why you made me do all of that?"

"You have to start living, dammit! You don't realize that you aren't the only one that lost someone you love. Heck, almost every single family in Panem lost at least one person, or more. Half of 12 died for crying out loud! And Peeta-" Haymitch stops, not wanting to bring him up. Haymitch sighs, "You just got to realize it sweetheart."

And I do. I finally realize it. It takes me a couple of days after Haymitch's lecture to, but I realize it. I am not the only one that lost someone they loved. I am not the only one trying to deal with this new life on their own. I am just like everyone else, trying to heal over a bad burn. And I will learn from it.

I will learn...

X X X

It has been a week since Haymitch brought me back to reality. Sae doesn't need to cook for me anymore, though she still comes every morning to make sure that I am up, and I let her make breakfast for me. Besides breakfast, I am making myself something to eat. Today is going to be the first day that I am going into the woods to find game. When I went into the woods to drop Buttercup off, I was wishing that I would get lost, too. After I eat, I go into the closet and grab my bow and arrows. I leave it in my closet instead of the woods in case something ever happens, even though I doubt something will happen, it just makes me feel safe.

Jogging out the door, I realize I'm walking slower the closer I get to the fence. Speeding up my pace, I take the short way, making sure I can't get a glimpse at the Hob, as possible as that can be. When I get to the fence that has been built again, for protection of wild animal purposes, I open the gate to the woods. The gate has an electricity button, which you can only reach from the Hob, but it is just for when there is an wild animal on the loose, or the very few traitors who try to kill. I personally, do not like the idea of having electricity on the fence, or a fence at all to come to think of it. I would much rather have a clear opening to the woods. It would be a whole lot easier in the winter if the gate would happen to get frozen shut.

It's mid-spring though, so the gate slips open easily; expanding from the heat. I only open the gate enough to slip my body through, then closing it as fast as I opened it. Even though I do not need to, I leave a rock between the fence and the gate, so the gate does not fully shut. It has just been a habit of mine ever since the invisible wall in the Quarter Quell. It never bothered me until I first started coming out of my home again, I just looked at the fence one day when I was on the side with the woods taking a walk, and I thought I was trapped, unable to get to the other side. I sat there for a good hour or two until I realized that I could either open the gate or climb over it. That night I spent the rest of my time curled up in a ball on my bed, sheets enfolding me to keep me warm.

It used to be hard to decide where to go hunt game whenever I came out here. Everywhere reminded me of a memory I did not want to remember; my dad and I, Gale and I, Finnick and I with the crew of people, evening primrose's everywhere, the lake, the bombing, and even where I dropped off Buttercup gives me a horrible memory that I don't want. I found a place to hunt and relax though, in the meadow. I rarely ever gone there before, it just looked too beautiful to go there. The flowers are just starting to bloom to its natural color and the leaves are just starting to come back onto the trees. The weather is warm enough for short sleeves, but not warm enough to not bring a jacket just in case. The season is just starting to lean towards the end of spring, beginning of summer. Summer is my favorite season, though fall comes a close second, since the weather is nice, it allows me to stay outside for hours. I can stay outside just as long in the winter time, it just forces me to move slower with all the layers I would be wearing to keep warm.

When I get into the middle of the meadow, I'm surprised when I don't see as many animals as I usually do. It only takes a couple of minutes though to realize where all the animals probably are. The heat and the blazing sun is forcing them towards the lake. Suddenly, it feels as if there is pressure on my chest, forcing me to sit down. I could just go home and wait until tomorrow when it's a little cooler and the animals will be back, but then again, my house is running low on game. I could just get food from Sae, but I don't want to have to rely on someone else anymore. If I rely on someone else right now, then I will not be able to push myself forward and move on in my life.

Pushing up from the ground with an unnecessary grunt, I slowly walk towards the lake. The memories that I don't want to remember start to run through my brain with every step I take. It puts an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and flips it. It's not painful though, I actually like the feeling; I kind of miss the feeling. Weirdly enough, the feeling urges me forward, not noticing that I am passing birds that I could easily shoot. The closer I get, the more the feeling progresses, only making me want to go faster. When I realize that I am sprinting into a jog, I don't stop myself, in fact, I speed up the pace. The only thing that stops me on my tracks is when the lake is a few feet away with a deer drinking from it. This is the first deer I have seen since the day of the reaping so long ago. For some reason though, I think that it is nature giving me a chance to start over; thinking of that sounds weird, but it's the only thing running through my mind right now.

Slowly, I reach my left hand behind me and grab a single arrow from its pouch and gently secure it in its position in the bow. Even though I haven't touched my bow and arrow for weeks, the steps on how to secure the arrow, lift my arm into its position, breath in, pull the string back enough so that the tip of my finger is brushing against my lip, breath out, and release doesn't feel new to me.

When the arrow hits the deer in the head, it falls to the group with a loud thump. Some of its blood trails into the lake and flows down with the water. Now I can't use this water for a source in the woods for a good time now. Walking over to the deer, I bend down over it and with one quick motion, slide the arrow out from its head. I wipe the tip of the arrow down with a leaf by my foot and then crumble it up, throwing it behind my shoulder without a second glance.

After skinning it and taking the amount that will fit in my game bag, I slowly trudge back to the fence. Opening the fence, I kick the rock out of the way, watching it roll and roll until it is close the trees. Maybe I am finally settling in.

Well there you go! Please review and tell me what you thought. I'm already working on the second chapter, and yes, it is almost done. I don't know exactly when I will post new chapters yet, it really depends on how many views I get. Stay tune for chapter two!