Joe and I were sitting on my couch eating a pizza from Pino's and having a couple of beers. It was comfortable, and even though he could still get me hot with a look from his warm chocolate eyes, I hadn't felt that spark that we used to have in some time.
'Joe' I said hesitantly.
He turned and looked at me 'Steph, you know I love you, right?'
'Yeah, and you know that I love you too, right?'
'Yeah'
'Joe, I love you. But I'm not in love with you'
'I know - I feel the same. I think it's time to stop fighting it and go back to being friends' He said looking away.
'We will always be friends, I'll always be here for you, Joe' I forced out, tears slipping down my cheeks.
'Cupcake, I'm going to go. Would you like to come over tomorrow and collect your things?'
'Yes Joe, I'll be over in the afternoon.'
It seemed ironic that the on and off fiery relationship that I shared with Joe would end with a kiss and a lingering hug.
After I locked the door behind Joe, I grabbed the rest of the beers from the kitchen and took them with me as I retreated to my bedroom.
Opening my eyes to the painful light, I moaned. It was not a good moan. My eyes were puffy and my head hurt. Stumbling to the kitchen I made myself some nectar of the gods, otherwise known as coffee and contemplated over going back to bed or going for a shower. A quick glance to my clock confirmed the need of a shower over going back to bed.
As the water ran over my body, I started to feel better - more energised than I had in awhile. I hopped out of the shower and vigorously dried myself down. As I wiped away the condensation in my bathroom mirror, I caught sight of a sparkle in my blue eyes that hadn't been there in a while. I stared at my reflection, wondering when it was that I had lost my usual zest for living. I realised that I had been feeling down for a few months, since Ranger sent me back to Morelli after our night together.
Time for things to change, I nodded to my reflection my eyes squinting in determination.
I headed back into my bedroom to get dressed, taking more care than I had been recently, a stretchy red v neck top, a pair of figure hugging dark blue jeans and a pair of low heeled black boots.
Heading back to the bathroom, staring at myself once more I started the process of taming my hair, for once it cooperated beautifully falling in natural curls down my back. Feeling quite confident with myself after my hair behaving I only put on a couple of coats of mascara and a little lip gloss. Looking at the person staring back at me in the mirror, I thought she could do with a little something else. Dancing to a song in my head I stepped back into my bedroom and picked up some gold chandelier type earrings and popped them on.
There, all ready.
Going into the kitchen for a last cup of coffee, I noticed my answering machine light was on. Listening to it, there was a message from my mother inviting me to dinner and my spirits sank a little, the next message was Morelli telling me that he had been called to a crime scene and wouldn't be back until late. That suited me just fine, no awkward moments while I removed my presence from his house.
I bounced down the hall to the elevator, then out of the building towards my most recent POS car, a blue RAV 4 that had a couple of green panels. Even the sight of my car didn't dim my spirits. I pulled out of the lot and headed towards the Burg and Sloan St where Morelli had his house.
I pulled up in front of his house and just stared at it for a little while. It had belonged to his Aunt Rose and Morelli had inherited it when she passed away. The more I looked I realised that Joe hadn't done anything obvious to change the house since he moved in. It was like he had left it until he had a wife to choose what would be best and make it a home. A huge sigh of relief lifted through me at the thought that it would now never be me.
I left my car and walked over the lawn, up the front stairs and across the little porch. Unlocking and opening the door I paused while listening to Bob thunder towards me. This, I realised, I would miss. I stood firm and managed to stand against Bob's typical greeting and after playing for a little, I let him out into the backyard, picked up a box and started going through the house picking up the little items and clothes that had managed to make their way here from my house.
Finally finished, I was actually amazed at the amount of things of mine that had come to call Morelli's house home without me realising it. I sat at the kitchen table and pried the house keys off my key ring. Sitting them on the table and looking at the box of miscellaneous items and clothing, I felt a carthic release.
My thoughts turned towards the other man in my life. Dark haired, dark-eyed with mocha latte skin that I wanted to lick from his head to his toes. Ranger - Ricardo Carlos Manoso also known to me as Batman. Since that intense night we spent together and he had sent me back to Morelli I had tried to keep my thoughts off him. It really hadn't worked. Thinking of him was sort of like breathing for me, an unconcious action.
He accepted me and all my craziness, and helped me in any way that I needed, to help me to fly. He knew that a Burg life wasn't for me, and I would slowly die inside if I found myself in that kind of situation, however he still didn't seem able to understand that I wasn't looking for a ring in a relationship, just a commitment. And kids? Hell, I was pretty sure I wanted none of those. Rex, my hamster was enough parental responsibility for me.
The longer I sat there and thought, the more determined I was getting that I was going to show Ranger that as long as he never looked at another woman, I would take what he could give to me and that we would make us work. It's not like he hadn't stayed away after sending me back to Morelli. Everytime he pulled me into the alley behind the bonds office it seemed like his kisses were getting fiercer, hungrier. When I was working on a distraction for Rangeman he still insisted on putting my wire on himself, letting his hands linger longer than necessary and letting them go places they really didn't need to go. Of course I enjoyed all the interaction with Ranger, even looked forward to it - until the guilt of what we were doing made me freeze and back away.
That guilt no longer stood between us, but I knew that as soon as he heard that Morelli and I were no longer together he would back away and take a waiting stance to see what was happening.
Thinking about Ranger, I obviously started to think about all the situations where he had helped me. I noticed a recurring theme, Stephanie goes in without proper knowledge or skills, just enthusiasm, a sharp mind and spidey senses and promptly gets in over her head and needs rescued. I had an epiphany - maybe to stop the merry go around that I seemed to be on about getting in trouble and needing help, I should set about and get the skills I so seemed to be lacking. At the very least, it might mean I wouldn't come home covered in garbage anymore. No way you looked at that made that sound like a bad idea.
Making plans and humming, I let Bob back into the house, gave him a hug, picked up my box of belongings and left through the front door, making sure to snub the lock as I shut it. Closing the door on my past was a lot easier than I thought it would be, and I knew I would soon be too busy to worry over it.
This is my first fanfic, I am a recent newcomer to the community and I have loved reading everyone's stories about the plumverse. However I feel that maybe it's time for Stephanie to start being the tough Burg girl we all know her to be and a bit more proactive about her chosen career and love life. Please review and let me know how you feel about this so far - I have the entire story planned out and from here on in it gets more interesting - I'd love some encouragement!
