I'm not quite sure what to say about this. For being so short, it took me forever to write. I suppose that goes with writer's block, eh? Anyway. I'm probably going to be shot for not writing Revenge Is Sweeter, but what can I say .. I have to be in the right mood to write angry bloodplay sex, and for some reason I always want to write something Kingdom Hearts-related. I'm pretty sure it officially owns my soul. Axel specifically, but he can have it. Ha.
Oh, right, author's note. Yes.
I think it came out well enough. I can sympathize with Roxas' need for something, anything, to make you feel alive. Whole. Oddly enough, it's been my mentality lately, and perhaps that's the reason for this piece. -shrugs- Reviews are nice. Remember, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Axel will use your flames to toast marshmallows with Roxas. :3 Or maybe he'll burn you with them. Who knows.
-insert declaration of non-ownership here- Squeenix, you lucky bastards.
Eyes closed tightly, frenzied hands seeking desperately to discard unwanted clothing. Lips searching for contact, for warmth, for acceptance.
For just an ounce of feeling.
The blonde ran his fingers through that shock of vibrant red hair as teeth claimed ownership of the delicate shell of his ear. He felt that, acknowledged the brief pain before pleasure won over. He felt the silky softness of the hair beneath his clenched fists, felt the weight of the man above him, pressing them both deeper into the mattress as hips thrust forward with ruthless vigor.
But it was all sensory. The empty space in his chest ached, yearned for that deeper connection.
The blonde's back arched involuntarily as a hand slipped past the barrier of his pants and wrapped cool, thin fingers around his cock.
It was good. Oh, it was good. But not nearly good enough.
The redhead grinned slyly, watching the blue of the blonde's eyes grow infinitesimally darker as he stroked the organ softly, torturing his lover, knowing full well it was what he craved.
That desperate need to feel something more. Even for the shortest moment.
The need to feel whole.
Startlingly sharp fingernails dug deeply into the pale flesh of the redhead's back, urging him to take it further, to make it hurt--
The blonde nearly screamed in mingled pleasure and pain as teeth marked his clavicle, breaking delicate skin, a practiced tongue seeking out the minuscule droplets of liquid crimson.
Eyes darkened to stormy cobalt; pleading, demanding, all at once. Emerald shimmers mischievously as lips curve upward into the semblance of a patronizing smirk.
"Is that what you wanted, Roxas?" The redhead's tongue flicked playfully over the bite, spreading saliva and blood over the blonde's already flushed skin, tinting it an even deeper shade of pink.
"Can you feel it yet?"
"Axel," the blonde growled. Small hips rolled upward, twin layers of fabric grinding, increasing pressure as green eyes slid closed and an already swollen bottom lip was caught between sharp white teeth.
When the redhead slammed home, stars exploded behind the blonde's tightly closed lids. When their bodies collided, became one in the same, Roxas almost felt alive.
Almost.
He reached for it; the aching in his chest becoming almost bearable, the empty cavern constricting at the prospect of being filled. Something within him quivered just slightly.
His fingers grasped nothing but the vast emptiness that was a Nobody's existence, and the quivering became a violent tremor he couldn't shake.
Even as his orgasm ripped through him, as Axel whispered his name and pulled him closer as he came, he felt defeated.
Cheated.
Lost.
And perhaps worst of all, inadequate.
How can you miss something you don't remember having in the first place?
It sickened him.
The slight weight of Axel's body disappeared as the redhead rolled over and buried his face in a pillow. He knew what would come now. The blonde would pass out cold, never acknowledging that anything had ever happened. Until the next time, that is.
There would always be a next time.
Long, warm fingers wound themselves around the blonde's as green eyes slid slowly closed.
Even if they didn't have hearts, he could pretend ..
Roxas stared at their linked hands, pensive, as the redhead began snoring softly.
Axel ..
His fingers tightened fractionally.
I want to love you.
I just .. can't.
He gave in as the deep, familiar void of sleep took him--but not before a single crystalline tear crept from beneath pale lashes and came to rest at the edge of his mouth.
I'm sorry ..
His dreams tasted of sadness and longing.