A/N: You've stumbled across the outtakes fic for Through A Glass Darkly, my current Lily/James WIP, where I'll post scenes and chapters somehow involving the Darklyverse-either behind the scenes one-shots canon with the story or deleted scenes that are AU from the story's timeline. The following chapter, for instance, is an edited scene from the first chapter of a very, very early and short-lived incarnation of Darkly, early on in the fic's planning stages and before any of the currently posted story was thought of or written. It's AU from the rest of the story, contains no spoilers for Darkly (other than a few resemblances to Darkly's thematic elements), and can be read as a standalone one-shot.

Row, Thursday Night

They're at it again in the common room, Thursday night. It feels, to her, like a release, like what this week's been building up to: the chase-and-run of the train, awkward avoidance on the first day back, then jibes slowly rising, rising, in intensity—

Until it all crashes down, here, now, burning down pretenses and denying all their little lies, like a run-on sentence breaking when there's nowhere else to go.

(She is rather preoccupied with syntax.)

"I don't see why you can't just treat me civilly," he's saying calmly when she looks up. "I know by now I'm not your type, and it's not like I'm asking for friendship or anything, that'd be drastic—"

Lily cuts him off impatiently as he offers a grin. "It's the way you crack jokes in the middle of rows," she spits, pacing, now, before him. "It's the way you land me detention by passing notes to me in front of McGonagall. It's the way you find it funny to hex Snape when I'm watching—"

"What, now it's a problem when I try to lighten the mood a little?" James interjects, stifling a laugh.

"Lighten the mood—you'd see why I think you're so insufferable if you'd just listen to yourself every now and then," Lily shoots, brushing her hair away from her face.

He ruffles his own, to which she rolls her eyes. "And if you'd just pull that stick out of your arse and ease up a little, you'd realize how perfectly tolerable I am when you get to know me."

She doesn't bother calling him out on language: Lily's so used to this that she barely notices the insult. "Hardly," she scoffs. She's getting a bit red in the face from the effort of it, almost bright enough to match the Gryffindor scarlet around them. The room has emptied by now, even the first years having realized within minutes to avoid their rows, and she flings herself down in front of the fire. "You're sixteen years old, Potter; one would think you'd have grown out of hexing first years in the corridors."

"Evans, if you'd paid a bit of neutral attention to me in the past week, you'd have realized that I only hex Death Eaters who cuss out the object of my affections."

She looks, really looks, at him for what feels like the first time. His glasses are askew before hazel eyes darkened to brown, hair ruffled, shirt untucked. But he's looking back with an intentness that startles her, even if only for a second. After a pause: "Snape doesn't cuss me out, and I'll have nothing to do with any of your affections."

"He called you a—" James swallows thickly and won't say the word "—during O.W.L.'s."

"Three months ago," Lily emphasizes, glaring. "Nowadays he's on his best behavior."

James smirks a bit and sits in the armchair at her right. "Haven't seen you accepting his attention lately," he tries hesitantly, speaking softly now.

She pauses, torn between indignation and trust. Against her better judgment; and because this week has shown her how few friends she has left; and because, when picking sides between the two boys who miss her, she's no choice but to side against Severus—she chooses the latter. "You don't need to punish him for crossing the line, Potter. It's a bad enough blow to him that I've run out of chances to give."

It's a step, and he's startled, taking a while to react. To Lily's chagrin, he seems to realize what it means. "If you're willing to turn to me," he says slowly, tasting the words, "then why won't you give me the time of day?"

It's her turn to hesitate this time, and she, too, chooses carefully. "I don't need you," Lily chances, some of the defiance coming back to her now. "The girls have been friendly when I've partnered them in classes, and Remus is as kind to me as ever during rounds, and—I don't need you, Potter."

It's all she can do to keep from falling into June again. She hears James stand, feels a hand on her shoulder. "I'll partner you in Potions tomorrow," comes a murmur in her ear, and then he's walking away, cold with his absence.

"This doesn't change anything," she calls after him as he's nearing the stairs, and she turns to see him facing her, his face blank. With his silence, she goes on uncertainly. "We're still not friends, and I still think you're an arrogant toerag with no sense of maturity."

Just a little, the corners of his mouth turn up. "I'm not so sure about that."

She feels empty, almost, left alone.