Title: Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.
Author: leeharding123
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: His name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, and he's the top super sleuther you could get.
Note: A short spoofy little one-shot in an alternative universe. Partly inspired by Calvin & Hobbes.
***
The name's Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. And I'm the best detective in the business.
And of course, ridiculously handsome. The dames can't resist my silken blond locks, my chiseled jaw, my gleaming muscles, and so forth.
But it's my intelligence, not my unnatural good looks that got me here. Cases never elude me. I got a top record. Two out of two. One hundred percent.
She was a high-spirited dame, with delicious curves, brown locks and never-say-die attitude. I like that in a lady.
Ms Granger, her name was. Or Hermione. I felt for her, anyone stuck with a name like that was bound to be brave. I told her so, gently, charmingly. She snapped back, something about my name. Probably jealousy. Hey, we can't all be blessed. The dame definitely had a feisty streak.
She was eating take-out when she entered. Chips, and fish that was fried. I tasted it. It was salty. I could tell it was from the sea. Already, I had a lead.
Ms Granger didn't seem too enthused at my sleuthing. Then again, she was probably too busy gazing at my muscles.
She told me, she was a journalist. And she needed a dashing private eye like me to find her a man. I told her, every lady needs a little loving, and that I'm happy to provide.
Ms Granger knows some shocking words, but frankly, with a spark like that, I don't give a damn.
She wanted to find a certain man, by the name of Harry Potter. I couldn't help but feel that anyone with an uninteresting name like Potter would just be somewhere gardening, but I take every case with utmost determination.
Supposedly this Gardener guy was up to some serious smuggling. Jewels, probably. And Ms Granger wanted the story before anyone else. Desperately.
Anything she wanted that badly, I was willing to get.
***
I was foiled. The plan went wrong. I couldn't believe it. My highly thought-out plan, involving only a few simple household items and a stick of dynamite should've worked. But somehow, I found myself tied naked to a pole in the middle of the street, the Gardener laughing his head off.
Talk about public humiliation.
But I won't let this bring me down. I have the never-ending love of Ms Granger to keep me going.
She hasn't said to out loud to me yet, sure, but I can see it in her eyes.
I can solve this. If I can't solve this case, I don't deserve my badge.
The name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.
And I'm going to get to the bottom of this.