Except for the rain, it was a typical Saturday morning at the Central Park Zoo, 0909 on the clock, and the penguins were gathered around the TV in their underground HQ, watching the last few minutes of a "SpongeBob SquarePants" episode on Nickelodeon. For some strange reason, the penguins had always felt a connection to that particular television network, though none of them quite knew why.
At precisely 0912, the first of the two episodes of the show concluded, and Nickelodeon went to a short commercial break.
"Interesting specimen, that sponge fellow, wouldn't you agree, Skipper?" Kowalski asked.
"Indeed, Kowalski," Skipper replied. "Indeed."
A commercial then began to roll starring the late Billy Mays pitching Kaboom brand shower cleaner.
"Kaboom! Kaboom! Kaboom!" Rico cheered as the commercial ran, thrusting his flippers up and down in the air in celebration.
"Easy there, buddy," Skipper called out to Rico. "It's just a shower cleaning spray, not an explosive."
"Oh," Rico sadly said, bringing his flippers back down to his side.
It was then that there was a knock at the door of the penguins' HQ.
"Now who might that be?" Private inquired.
"Probably Julien wanting to borrow another cup of sugar," Skipper replied as he headed to the door. "I'll get rid of him."
Skipper answered the door and was pleasantly surprised to find that Marlene had been the one knocking.
"Hey, Marlene," Skipper greeted. "What brings you to our lair?"
"You got a few minutes, Skipper?" Marlene asked. "I was hoping I could talk to you about something."
"That's fine with me," Skipper replied. "Why don't you come on in and tell me what's on your mind."
"Actually, I was hoping you could come with me," Marlene responded.
"But it's raining out there, Marlene," Skipper stated. "You're more than welcome to join us in here. Really."
"I'll get wet, Skipper," Marlene declared. "Please, it's important."
"OK, Marlene, I'll come with you," Skipper said. "But at least step in for a moment while I get us an umbrella."
Marlene took a few steps into the penguins' HQ as Skipper waddled over to Rico.
"Rico: Umbrella," Skipper ordered Rico, who no sooner regurgitated a blue one.
"I was hoping for red," Skipper said, then turned to Marlene. "Red good with you, Marlene?"
"Red would be wonderful," Marlene said, though she really couldn't care less.
Rico then coughed up a red umbrella and handed it to Skipper.
"Thank you, Rico," Skipper said as he took it and began making his way over to the door with Marlene. "I'll see you boys later."
The two then made their exit and began walking away from the penguin habitat.
"So, how can I be of assistance, Marlene?" Skipper asked. "And where are we off to?"
Marlene did not respond to Skipper's questions and instead just kept walking with him.
"Marlene?" Skipper said, stopping. "Something's troubling you, isn't it?"
"I'm just nervous, that's all," Marlene replied. "I'll tell you about it over at my place so we can be alone."
Many thoughts then began to race through Skipper's mind as he walked with Marlene over to her habitat. "Is she sick? Has someone tried hurt her? Is she moving away? Is it something I did?" he wondered.
When they arrived and stepped inside, Marlene sat down on her couch and Skipper took a seat in a wooden chair across from her. It wasn't long before Marlene began to tell Skipper why she had brought him over.
"There are a few guys here at the zoo that I know would never hurt me," she began. "You, the other penguins, the chimps, and Julien and his bunch."
"Yes," Skipper said to acknowledge her statement.
"But I don't know any other ladies here too well, and that's why I brought you here this morning," Marlene said.
"Because I'm the most ladylike of all the guys you know?" Skipper couldn't help but inquire in a tongue-in-cheek fashion.
"No, because you're the one I trust the most," Marlene replied. "Could you maybe, maybe–"
Marlene could not manage to complete her sentence and instead began to cry.
"Marlene?!" Skipper asked, concerned, and began to walk over to her.
"Could you maybe sit down here with me?" she managed to get out this time.
Skipper took a seat next to Marlene on the couch and put a flipper around her to comfort her.
"I think I'm afraid of dying," Marlene then told Skipper.
"Well, Marlene, I kind of hate to mention it, but we're all going to go someday," Skipper said, attempting to help Marlene rationalize her fear. "That is, unless Kowalski can find the Fountain of Youth in time, and I'll be sure to cut you in if he does."
"It's not the future I'm thinking of now," Marlene replied. "It's the present."
"What's wrong, Marlene?" Skipper asked.
"You won't discuss this with anyone else?" she asked.
"Penguin's honor," Skipper said. "I'll keep it close to the flipper and between us."
"Well, I'm a mammal, and I'm a female," Marlene began. "I've got a few parts that birds and mammal fellas don't have."
"No biggie – I bet I've got a few that you don't have, either," Skipper joked, trying to ease Marlene's discomfort a little.
"There's no easy way to say it," Marlene continued, "but I think I may have breast cancer."
"Are you sure?" Skipper asked.
"There was a lump," Marlene replied. "I've seen those public service ads they put on TV for humans, so I know what to look for. I just have a bad feeling about this."
"Well, if that's what you think it is, or even could be, you've got to see one of the zoo's veterinarians," Skipper stated. "I'm not the biggest fan of those people myself, but you're going to need some degree of medical attention. They'll fix you up."
"Yeah, they'd fix me up if I had the time to wait," Marlene said. "But unless there's an obvious problem, the vets only check me out about once every year, and I'm not due for another check-up for seven more months."
"Then you've just got to find a way to get back there sooner," Skipper insisted.
"If I fake something else, they'll only check that out and ignore the real problem," Marlene replied. "And I can't just waltz over to Alice, speak English to her, point to my chest, and say, 'Hey Alice, how about a mammogram?' either."
Skipper had no reply, as he began to realize the true gravity of the situation and the potential peril his friend was in.
"Skipper, what would you do if you knew it would save me?" Marlene then asked.
"If you have a solution, I would do whatever is needed," Skipper replied. "There's no need in even having to ask what I would do."
Marlene paused for a moment to collect her thoughts and feelings and then proceeded to ask a great task of Skipper.
"Do you think you can do it, Skipper?" she asked. "Do you think you can remove it?"
"The lump?" Skipper asked.
"Yes, do you think you can – oh, never mind," Marlene said. "It's just too much to ask, and I'm sorry."
"No, Marlene, it's not too much," Skipper replied. "Not for you."
Marlene smiled and began to cry, then reached over to Skipper and hugged him.
"I owe you forever," she said.
"You don't owe me anything," Skipper replied. "In fact, even though I would have wanted to help you anyway, it is I who owe you for saving me from drowning when we were both knocked down that sewer hole here a few months ago."
"I thought you just chalked that up as 'flights of fancy'?" Marlene replied, smiling a little.
"No, that was reality," Skipper declared. "I was just a little embarrassed when it happened because I'm usually a pretty good swimmer. Heck, I even made all-state in Pennsylvania in 1993. But if you think I didn't give you an appropriate thank you after we got back up to the surface, I certainly will now: Thank you, Marlene, for saving my life."
"Anytime," Marlene replied.
"Well, let's not assume there will be another time," Skipper joked.
The two then engaged in some idle conversation for a few minutes to try to relax, but it soon came back to the pressing matter at hand.
"So, how do we take care of this?" Marlene inquired.
"I'd want to do it now, but I know better," Skipper responded. "I'll come back tomorrow morning and determine if that vile lump is cancerous, and then I'll take it from there if need be. But it's important now that I research exactly what I'm getting into, as, of course, I am not licensed to practice medicine in the state of New York, Guam, or anywhere else for that matter."
"And I would bet that Rico doesn't pull a permit before he detonates a stick of dynamite, either," Marlene joked. "But you penguins always find a way. The fact that you never went to medical school isn't a concern of mine, Skipper; I trust you. I know you'll find a way."
"And I will," Skipper replied. "I'm going to go now and head over to the zoovenir shop's storage room and watch one of their DVDs on otters to learn a little about internal otter anatomy; I wouldn't want to accidentally remove a kidney or something by mistake, now, would I? And then when Kowalski's asleep, I'll take a peek through some of his encyclopedias and read – at least as best as I can read – about cancer in general."
"That all sounds good, Skipper," Marlene said. "I can't thank you enough."
Skipper waddled over to the door of Marlene's habitat, picked up the umbrella that he had brought with him, and then turned around to face Marlene.
"Goodbye, Marlene," Skipper said. "I promise everything will be OK."
"See you tomorrow," Marlene said as Skipper made his exit.
Upon getting outside, Skipper was pleased to find that it was no longer raining, so he decided to take a little stroll around the zoo grounds to process all that he had just taken in and all that was left to still do. He then paused and looked up towards the heavens.
"I'm gonna need a little help with this one, Big Guy," he said before continuing along.
Although he intended to go straight to the zoovenir shop to view an otter DVD in their storage room, Skipper thought it would be best to first return to the HQ to tell the boys he would be busy for a while. Just as he was about to open the door, it instead opened at him and hit him in the left shoulder.
"Oh, sorry to be causing a bump to your flightless areas, neighbor," Julien said as he walked out, a plastic cup in his hand.
"Sugar again, lemur?" Skipper asked.
"Salt, actually," Julien responded. "But I'll bring you some back very soon."
"Hasn't happened yet," Skipper replied as he walked inside.
"So, what did Marlene want?" Private asked as Skipper entered and then shut the door behind him.
Although he had promised Marlene that he wouldn't tell anybody else what they had discussed together, Skipper also felt uncomfortable telling a complete lie to a member of his team.
"Well, you know how we do our penguin evaluations every few months?" Skipper asked to set up his reply.
"Why, yes, Skipper," Private responded. "I nearly beat you in the sit-ups section last time."
"Well, Marlene asked for an evaluation," Skipper replied.
"So, how did she do?" Kowalski inquired, overhearing.
"She didn't, Kowalski," Skipper answered. "We're going to do it tomorrow. In fact, I'm going to go now and figure out the routine."
With that, Skipper once again exited the HQ. He then shuffled over to the zoovenir shop's back storage room to privately view a DVD about the lives of otters in the wild, which included a portion featuring a marine biologist discussing some aspects of otter anatomy as anatomical charts were displayed. After watching the complete DVD, Skipper skipped to the anatomy section to view it again, jotting down some notes and scribbling out a few pictures on his yellow legal pad as he did so. Afterwards, Skipper turned to a clean sheet of paper and wrote the following words: "When all this is over, give Marlene a complete Penguin Unit Assessment."
Skipper then left the zoovenir shop's storage room and opened a door into the main store, which was now closed for the day. He waddled over to a shelf stacked with stuffed animals and pulled down an otter doll, placing it under his left flipper.
"I'm not stealing it," he told himself. "Like that lemur would say, I'm just borrowing it."
He then left the shop and returned to the HQ, had a dinner of spaghetti with anchovy paste with the boys, and went to bed at the same time as the other penguins. But he didn't sleep; instead, Skipper waited for the others to begin their slumber, then he made his way over to Kowalski's bookshelf to read a little about cancer in some of Kowalski's encyclopedias.
Although none of the penguins were completely illiterate, all often ran into confusion when they encountered a written word that they did not themselves write routinely, even if they knew the meaning of the word when expressed verbally. Even Kowalski rarely cracked open any of his encyclopedias, as his reading abilities were only moderately better than those of the other three.
"Car-cin-o-ma," Skipper whispered to himself as he ran the tip of his right flipper over the unfamiliar word, sounding it out the best he could. "Ma-lig-nant; me-tast-a-size; mam-ma-ry."
Skipper sighed, feeling both guilty and concerned that his limited reading capacity might hinder his ability to help Marlene. He then stopped reading for a moment and soon began to hear Marlene's voice play in his head.
"I trust you; I know you'll find a way," she said.
"And so I must – and so I will," Skipper quietly said to himself before continuing his struggle to read about cancer for the next few hours.