A/N: Call me stupid, but I am writing this story because I had the same question… just not the same theory as Emmett.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or olives ;)
Emmett POV:
I walk down to the kitchen, humming to myself, living my care free hyper active vampire life. I have no idea why I am going to the kitchen, seeing as I don't eat. Sometimes I just like to walk in there and route around the cupboards, looking at different things and making fun of it. Ketchup looks like really thick blood if you ask my opinion on that item. Or pickles look like cucumbers…
I get to the kitchen and start routing through the cupboards, noticing all the different stuff. Salsa looks like chunky red paint with green and other colors mixed up in it. Cookies look like brown rock when it crumbles, or I pick it up a little too roughly. I laugh, and Jasper walks into the kitchen, rolling his eyes at me. What is the problem with having a slight obsession with looking at human food?
"What are you doing now, Emmett? You know Esme is going to be mad if you end up breaking something in here, and everyone prefers that you stay out of the kitchen, period."
"Stop being such a party pooper, Jasper." I say.
I find a can of diet pepsi and I shake it up, then grab some mintos from my pocket, I had no idea why I had some. Maybe Bella will have bad breath sometime in the future and will need some, then I will be the most awesome vampire brother and have mintos in my pocket to give to her. I open the can, and it is already fizzing. I stick some mintos in it, and put my thumb over it, shaking the can again. I pull my thumb off and the pepsi cans contents explode.
"Esme is going to kill you when you get home, Emmett. Just though I would let you know that. Unless you can get the wall spotless before she returns."
"Hey, Jasper, shut up." I say.
"Suit yourself then, Emmett." Jasper sighs, and walks off.
I go back to routing through the cupboards, and then I find it… the thing that makes me have a really big question, that I need to have answered, and I must have it answered right now.
It was a bottle of extra virgin olive oil.
Then Esme walked into the kitchen, I didn't even hear her get home from the grocery store…although I don't know why she was there, there is enough food in this house to feed an entire army!
"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN WALL?" Esme yells, and look around. "AND WHY IS THERE STUFF FROM THE CUPBOARDS SCATTERED THIS WAY AND THAT?!"
"Um, I was just looking at stuff, and the pepsi exploded! I love you, mom!"
"I don't care how much you say that you love me, you are in some major trouble, Emmett."
"Come on, it won't take that long to clean!" I argue.
"Clean it all the slow way, Emmett. No vampire speed at all, and you'll be grounded for the week, plus you can clean the rest of the house."
"Esme, come on!"
"Emmett." She warns.
I grumble and get out a cloth, wetting it under the tap, I start to scrub at the wall, not putting any vampire speed or force into it, but pepsi stains aren't that bad. Esme was just out to get me with all the food because she knows how side tracked I get with all the cool stuff. Why must human food be so entertaining to a poor vampire soul like myself? I finally get the pepsi stain out, and then look at all the pretty colored boxes and jars on the floor, just wanting to sit there and read them all.
Then it caught my attention again…
Extra virgin olive oil…
Its bottle is cool, and the color of the liquid looks the same as a green olive, it looks really awesome, and now I must find out why it is called extra virgin olive oil. I ran upstairs, and to Carlisle's study. I walk in, without knocking, and he sighs, looking up at me.
"Emmett, what are you doing here with a bottle of olive oil?"
I gasp, and hold the extra virgin olive oil up into the light. "Carlisle, this isn't just olive oil!"
"Looks like olive oil to me…"
"Carlisle, it's extra virgin olive oil!"
Carlisle raises his eyebrows. "Emmett, have you and Alice been trying to get high off gummy bears and pixie sticks again?"
"No, I am simply telling you not to underestimate the nature of this olive oil! It's extra virgin, not just olive oil."
Carlisle rolls his eyes and gives me another strange look, probably wondering if he should send me to some mental institution… if there was a mental institution for vampires. I look at the extra virgin olive oils label again.
Does extra virgin mean that the olives never had sex?
Those poor olives miss out on a lot then… it must be terrible to be a virgin… stuck in a bottle… with people putting you in their food…
"Carlisle, what does extra virgin olive oil mean?" I ask.
Carlisle is really smart, so he should know the answer to this question, and if he doesn't then know one knows the answer and then I am doomed, and then we will all die, and then the world will explode. Wait, how did I get onto death and explosions? I think I must play to many violent video games…
"I don't have time for silly questions like that, Emmett." Carlisle sighs. "Go and ask someone else."
"Anyone else would think I was stupid though!"
"I don't blame them." Carlisle mutters.
"Hey!" I exclaim, and then stomp out of his office.
Well obviously Carlisle isn't going to be any help in this urgent situation…
I walk to Edward's room, and walk in, he was on his own, listening to music.
"Edward, what does extra virgin olive oil mean?" I ask.
"Go find out for yourself." He snorts.
"I don't want to!" I whine.
"Well then too bad, Emmett, now I suggest you go and find the answer for yourself or I'll tell Carlisle and Esme that you broke my favorite metronome. I've been nice about it, but if you don't go now…"
With that I was out of Edward's room faster than James looking for his newest supper target, and that is pretty fast if you ask my opinion on it. I walk to mine and Rosalie's room where Rosalie is probably primping her hair. I smile at the thought of my beautiful girl. I burst in, because I'm allowed to.
"Rose?" I ask, as she stood by her mirror, applying eyeliner.
"Yea, Em?"
"What does extra virgin olive oil mean?"
"I don't know, and don't care." Rosalie says. "Go find out for yourself!"
"Rose-"
"Go!"
I sigh, and walk down to the living room, and as both Alice and Jasper, but they told me to try and find out for myself. Why can't someone just tell me, so I can be saved all this trouble! Then the door bell rings, and I open the door.
"Hey Bella!" and I give her one of my almost bone crushing hugs.
"Em… can't… breathe…"
"Oh, sorry!" and I let her go. "Hey Bella?"
"Yes, Emmett, what is it?"
"What does extra virgin olive oil mean?"
"It's an oil with the least impurities, and it is also the highest quality of olive oil, it is also the most delicate in flavor."
"Oh… so that means that it wasn't just oil where the olives didn't have sex, right?"
"Uh… sure?" Bella says, staring.
"Right, well, thanks sis!" and I run off with my extra virgin olive oil.
A/N: I think this story just proved the extent of my insanity... :)