Story - Morrigan has asked the Warden, Anaeli Mahariel, to convince Alistar to sleep with her, and Anaeli has agreed. However, as she stands outside his door... she hesitates. Can she really ask the man she loves to sleep with another woman?
Rating - M, for... you know... sex... and implied sex... and maybe death...
Warnings - Um... emotional woman ftl... and possible crack... oh, and the fact that I threw the game script completely out the window (for the most part), and game glitches suck btw. YEAH!
Additional Notes - Mayhaps might be a threeshot, if only to get back into the whole Fanfic gig.
She had to convince him.
She had to, to save him.
Because no matter how much she protested and screamed, there was no doubt in her mind that he would take the final blow for himself. That was just the kind of man he was.
So... she had to...
... So why did it feel like she was tearing up inside?
It was ridiculous. She was Dalish, and he human. Tamlen was her chosen love, had always been and forever would be. There was no doubt that the night he appeared in camp had shaken and almost broken her. Yet Alistar, with his clumsy words and inexperience, still managed to help her right back up, had allowed her the moment of weakness she told herself she was forbidden from letting show in front of any other. He had taught her the ways of the humans, had offered what little he knew of the Grey Wardens himself. He never failed to comfort her after a particularly nasty nightmare, had made her laugh, had shown that not all shems were as horrid as they seemed. They had traveled together for the longest time now, gathering the allies and ending Ferelden's Civil War, secured Anora's position on the throne because Alistar just wouldn't do it. They had even made plans to rebuild the Ferelden Grey Wardens after everything was over.
Yet he was but a shem, her mind scold and reminded, and nothing more.
But he's my shem, her heart countered, and fiercely at that. Her chest knotted tightly. It was on that very night of Tamlen's appearance that she had discovered her feelings for Alistar, as well as his feelings for her. It was on that very night that everything suddenly made sense, from the butterflies in her chest to the aching desire to just be with him.
Not for the first time, she wanted to just go away, to go back to her room and tell Morrigan that she just couldn't ask him to do it, that it was too much and she'd just try to pin him to the ground to take the blow for herself.
She had to have been standing outside his door for a full five minutes by now. Anyone walking by would be questioning her, wondering why she was hesitating so.
"Anaeli?"
She jumped, snapping out of her stupor, realizing the very door her hand had been poised to knock on had opened. Standing there, sans his clunky armour, was Alistar, a bewildered expression on his face. Then he broke into a playful grin - and oh, what a captivating grin it was.
"I see you can't sleep either," he said lightly.
She smiled weakly in return and shrugged, dropping her hand, holding one of her wrists. His amber eyes automatically told her that she was caught, that he knew something was up. She stepped inside when he ushered her in, yet she did not stray from the door, even when he closed it. He didn't move either, and part of her wished that he did.
Having him so close, so painfully close... she wanted to run and hug him, to let herself be wrapped in his arms.
No... No...
She needed to be strong.
"I saw Morrigan outside your room earlier. And the look she gave me... " He chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his short hair. He was trying to lighten the mood like he always did, but Anaeli wasn't so sure it was working so well. "That was icy, even for her."
She tightened her grip on her wrist.
"You can't sleep? Are you alright?" she asked, hoping to divert the subject a little.
"Not really. It's... you know, tomorrow is when it all ends. It's all so real... "
She nodded in understanding, tucking a strand of her blond hair behind a pointed ear. It relaxed her, a little. Now he was leaning against the wall; she could see it out of her peripheral. She almost wished that he would wrap an arm around her.
"But now you're changing the subject. This isn't about me, this is about Morrigan. I'm tired, but I'm not stupid. What did she want?"
Anaeli flinched from the tone, the worry and slight irritation. He had changed so much. Normally they could just go through some (one-sided) jokes before touching upon the main topic of their discussion. She wrapped her arms around herself now, wishing she could just shrink or melt into the ground.
"Alistar, we... " The Dalish Elf took a deep breath, trying to still the beating of her heart. Oh, dear Creator, she couldn't start crying. "We need to talk... "
"... I guess whatever Morrigan had to say, it's big."
He sighed, soft as it was.
"So what is it, then?" he continued, pushing off from the wall, moving to stand in front of her. She turned her gaze away, unable to look at him. She was shaking, knew she was even. "I can take it."
Anaeli took a deep breath.
"I... Ma emma lath... " He was confused, she could sense it. It was an old habit, to revert to the old language when she was nervous. She vaguely remembered a time when she spoke in nothing but the elven language just to piss him off, until he'd started learning various phrases. "You... are my love. You know that, right?"
"Could you make it sound more ominous?" She felt his hand under her chin, allowing him lift her head up. His eyes were her downfall, and she found she couldn't look away even if she wanted to. "Tell me."
She opened her mouth to speak, only to find that she couldn't. Anaeli forced her gaze away, biting her lip. "I'm not sure I can do this... "
"Just... spit it out. You're making me nervous already... "
The elf looked back to the human, seeing the worry plastered all over his face. She tightened her grip on herself, mustering up whatever resolve that she could. "I... need you to do something you won't like."
At once — and she had expected this — his tone darkened. "I don't care for the sound of that. What are we talking about, exactly?"
Anaeli rubbed at her eyes, shaking her head. She hated this, being so weak. It was stupid; she was to lead men into battle tomorrow. She couldn't afford to be this week. "I... need you to take part in a magic ritual."
"Oh? Something Morrigan cooked up, no doubt. What do you need me to do?"
"... I need you to sleep with her."
Alistar blinked. And stared. And dear Creator if he kept it up, she felt she would just shatter. And then he laughed and that just startled her as she looked up at him, a small smile of her own creeping onto her face he thought it was just...
"This is payback, right? For all those jokes? Cute!" he finally managed, leaning against the bedpost. Yet as he kept looking at her, as she her smile faltered and her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, she knew that he understood that she wasn't joking, that it wasn't just some horrid dream they could forget about. "Except... you're not joking, are you? Wow... die by the archdemon or sleep with Morrigan." He forced a laugh, and she had to admire that he was at least trying to make this light. "How does someone make that kind of a choice... " His features darkened, a frown making its way onto his face. In any other situation, she would remark how silly it looked on him, how... how un-Alistar-like it was. "You're not... actually asking me this, are you? What kind of ritual is this, anyway?"
"Some kind of ancient magic. Flemeth's, probably."
"Well, that's reassuring. Wait, no it isn't!"
He strode over to his desk, running a hand through his hair again, resting it in his hands until he finally looked back at her. "Look," he started, "even if I was willing to entertain this idea — and I'm not saying I am — is this really what you want me to do? Are you sure... ?"
Just seeing him so torn up... didn't help help her at all as she dared approach him. He was loyal to her, beaten only by her mabari warhound, or perhaps even on the same level. Anaeli went over and wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to pull her into his lap, cradling his head against her chest for the time being as they just fell into an old routine, a familiar method. It worked wonders, finally being able to touch him.
"You need to trust me, emma lath," she whispered, slowly detaching herself to look into his eyes.
"I do trust you," Alistar replied. They stayed like that for a while, and she didn't know how long it was until he finally sighed. They reluctantly broke apart as Anaeli stepped back, away from him. "I'll... I'll do it. I won't like it, but... if it's what you want... "
She forced one last smile as he stood, seeking out his hand and intertwining their fingers as she led him back to her room, where Morrigan stood by the fire. She was looking at them, expecting them, naturally. It was too late to back down now, and she knew that.
"I take it a decision has been reached?" Morrigan asked, her emotions cleverly hidden. If Anaeli didn't know any better, she'd think the witch was enjoying this.
"Let's just get this over with before I change my mind," Alister groaned, and the Dalish elf couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he wasn't going to be enjoying this. Not that she expected anything less.
"Believe me when I say, it won't nearly be as bad as what you're imagining."
"I'm having sex with a heartless shrew. Yeah, it's pretty bad."
The witch rolled her eyes, stepping forward. "Come, come. Let's go somewhere more... private, then."
The way she said it, the way Morrigan coerced Alistar into following along... Anaeli wasn't sure what to make of it, watching the two of them leave. The templar shot her one last, apologetic look before the two of them vanished. She shut the door behind them, staying there for a moment as her keen ears listened until their footsteps vanished. And then she broke. Whatever it was that caused it she didn't know, just knew that the overwhelming hurt that washed over her was unbearable. It was all she could do to make it to her bed, to curl up into a little ball and burrow into a pillow to try and stifle her sobs.
It hurt...
It hurt far more than she imagined it would...
How had she fallen so hard for a shem?