John was tired in more ways than one.
For one, Sherlock Bloody Holmes was being insufferable again.
He was currently lying on the couch in his silk pajamas and wearing his robe lost in his Mind Palace. Now, John thought he would be, well, different since they got together but it's the same. Before that, he had experimented what acid did to cotton and polyester and fibers…guess where he got them from? His jumpers. At least, the hideous ones Harry buys him every year for Christmas but that wasn't the point. Second, John had discovered mold growing in the bathroom sink and severed feet in the tub. Sherlock's response to John? Experiment! And third, and this really took the cake, Sherlock had spilled blood all over the kitchen table during one experiment involving certain drugs in the blood stream. John thanked God that it wasn't his blood or Sherlock's he was looking at.
While John sat there looking over the sports section of the paper, Sherlock jumped up from his position on the couch.
"Bored!" He shouts.
"Well, sorry." John says. "Go experiment some more."
"I have done all my experiments, tested blood, and looked at my mold samples, checked over the feet…Now I'm bored!" Sherlock says. "No cases, either! John, go murder someone creatively and don't get caught!"
"I won't go murder someone for you to solve it." John snaps. Then he looks at his phone. "Besides, I have to head to work now."
John stands and hears the joints of his knees pop and his back. He walks over and shrugs on his jacket and pulls Sherlock down for a kiss.
"Call in, John. Maybe a case will come up." Sherlock says a bit dazed by the kiss.
"Sorry. I have to work so I can pay my half of the rent." John says. "I'll see you this evening, Sherlock."
Then he's out the door and hails a cab. He doesn't have to turn and look up to know that Sherlock is watching him from the window. He tells the cabbie to head to the Clinic when an idea struck him. Why go to work? Why not play hooky and spend the day doing the things he wants to do?
"Scratch that, cabbie. I'll walk from here."
The cabbie stops and John finds he's missing his wallet but finds a bill in his pocket. He hands it to him and hops out. John quickly scans for any CTTV cameras knowing Mycroft would be watching him. When he saw one ahead, John walked in its blind spot and he made his way down and away from Baker Street and the Clinic. John decided to go walking through the park so he cut through an ally and made his way to the one he hadn't visited before. On his way, he phoned Sara to tell her that he couldn't make it in. Instead of using the 'Sherlock has case' excuse, he told her that his sister had called and needed him. She just told him it was fine in a sympathetic way and asked no questions. Then John turned off his phone and avoided any and all CTTV cameras.
He didn't want to be found.
Meanwhile, Mycroft was looking over a folder in his office at the Diogenes Club when his assistance Athea walked it.
"Dr. Watson never made it into work today, sir." She says not even looking up from her blackberry.
"Thank you, my dear." Mycroft says. Athea nods and leaves.
Mycroft pulls up various CTTV cameras near Baker Street and the Clinic on his computer and scanned for the familiar short stature of the doctor. When he didn't see him, Mycroft changed to different cameras but still no sign of him.
"Where are you Dr. Watson?" Mycroft asks his screen.
He shuts down his computer and grabs his umbrella. He walks out of his office and locks the door.
"Baker Street, sir?" Athea asks.
"Yes." Mycroft says. "I believe Sherlock may know what the good doctor is up to."
The two take Mycroft's black car to Baker Street where Athea stayed in the car while Mycroft knocked on the door. Mrs. Hudson opened the door and smiled at him.
"Hello, Mycroft. Here to see Sherlock again?" She asks.
"Actually, I'm here to see Dr. Watson." Mycroft says.
"You missed him. He left for work over an hour ago." Mrs. Hudson says.
"Oh." Mycroft says. "I'll just go up and chat with my little brother then."
Mrs. Hudson lets him in and he walks up the stairs and opens the door to Sherlock's flat. He sees the consulting detective by the window holding violin. He seemed to be playing something Mycroft didn't recognize.
"Go away, Mycroft." Sherlock says as he continues to play.
"Now, now, brother mine." Mycroft says as if talking to a child. "No need to be rude. I am, for one, not here to speak with you."
This made Sherlock stop his playing and swing around.
"Why do you wish to speak with John?"
"It seems like he has disappeared."
"Nonsense. He left for that tedious job he insisted on getting."
"He never made it and I've yet to locate him on any CTTV feeds."
Sherlock eyes widened for a split second and a look of surprise crossed his features before he schooled his features back into his neutral face.
"Then your skills have decreased, Mycroft. And your people incompetent."
"Sherlock…"
"Not now, Mycroft!" Sherlock snaps. "I have my doctor to find!"
"Perhaps a call the Scotland Yard is in order."
"I can locate John myself!"
"John's missing?"
The two brothers turn at the new voice and sees Anderson, Donavon, Lastrade, and a few officers at the door.
"No." Sherlock snaps as Mycroft says "Yes."
Mycroft whacks Sherlock in the shin with his umbrella and the consulting detective grabs it and throws it into the fire place in retaliation. The politician looked furious. Before anyone knew what was happening, Mycroft punched Sherlock in the nose. Sherlock stumbled back and then looked up in glee. He smiled, his teeth red from blood dripping down his nose. He lunges at Mycroft and the two fall to the ground, long limbs tangled. They roll around grabbing and pulling at each other when a sharp whistle made them stop and look up.
Lastrade looked at them as if they were children. Sherlock always got that look from him but Mycroft never did. He walked over and pulled them both to their feet by their ears. Mycroft and Sherlock suddenly had flashbacks of their father doing the same thing right before being brought over his knee and their behinds reddened. Behind them, Anderson and Donavon was trying to control their laughter.
You know, you would think Lastrade would have a problem with treating the man who was practically the British Government as a child disastrous but he didn't care.
"Now, the two of you are going to behave and tell me the truth or," Lastrade says twisting both their ears. The Holmes brothers flinch. "I will treat you like my daughter when she disobeys me. You act like children, I'm going to treat you as such."
"See here! I am the British Government…!"Mycroft protests indignantly.
"Your assistant told me on the way up to treat you as I see fit if this was to happen and you are acting like a bloody child!" Lastrade snaps at him twisting his ear again. Mycroft whimpered and Sherlock laughed. Lastrade twisted his ear. Sherlock looked at Lastrade with hatred. "Now, you two are going to tell me right now about John."
"He left the flat for work like usual." Sherlock says trying to twist out of Lastrade's grip.
"None of that, Sherlock." Lastrade says tightening his hold. Sherlock involuntarily whimpers and Mycroft grins in triumphant. Lastrade sees and sighs. "You two are unbelievable. Donavon, cuff them together."
Sherlock tries to get away and Mycroft stays still and lets the Sergeant cuff his left wrist. She grins cruelly as Anderson comes behind the consulting detective and holds him as she cuffs Sherlock to his brother.
"No!" Sherlock shouts. "Cuff me to anyone but him!"
"Pick to lock, Sherlock. You're good at that." Mycroft snaps at his brother.
"Ah, ah, boys." Lastrade says happily. "These are new, Government issue cuffs. The only way they come are with the key, which I will in trust to Donavon."
Said officer smiles and holds up the cuff key.
"I can have your jobs for this." Mycroft growls but it turns into a whimper as Lastrade twists the ear harder than before.
"You won't because I keep Sherlock clean by bribing him with cases. He won't work with anyone else and if I'm gone, who knows what sort of illegal activity he may get into." Lastrade says with a smile of his own.
He finally lets go of the brother's ears and they instinctively reach up to their abused ears when their stopped by their cuffed wrists. Lastrade lets out a chuckle, earning two death glares from Sherlock and Mycroft, and shoves them both onto the couch.
"Now, start from the beginning about John." Lastrade says