She was the sunlight and the sun was gone.
She disappeared – he was aware of that she needed help and he couldn't help her. They were hurting her – the only person he ever loved -, and she was probably waiting for him to help her. He couldn't – pacing and making knots no longer kept him sane, he was haunted by his nightmares and fears all the time. The people in District 13 did not understand, they forced him to stay there.
He wished he could cut off his eyes to never let the memory of her beautiful smile flash before them anymore. To become a deaf to forget how her laughter sounded like, including the calming words she used to whisper into his ear during the summer nights they spent together before the Reapings.
His heart refused to stop beating, his head was still full of things he tried to avoid. Annie. Annie. Torturing. Annie. Making knots. Annie. Making knots. Annie. Making knots. Torturing. Annie. Annie. Torturing. Annie.
Why did you let them take me? He could hear her voice echoing in his head. You promised you don't let them hurt me again!
He pressed his lips hard together, gritting his teeth. You lied.
He wanted to scream as long as he had the energy to do so. You liar!
Ripping his heart out seemed to be a good idea. Coward!
Why couldn't he do that? Why?
He tried to make himself believe they were capable of getting her back. Finn!
He will help them, with all power he had. It hurts.
He buried his face into his hands. I can hear them screaming.
He heaved a deep breath. You left them alone, too.
Suicide? You are weak.
He had never had thoughts of committing a suicide before. Save me!
But he couldn't. Please…
The glass he was holding shattered in his hands, his wounds were heavily bleeding. He closed his eyes, watching as the pieces fell onto the floor, some of them shone red by his blood. This somewhat snapped him back to reality. He couldn't lose his insanity while the love of his life was being tortured. She needed him, he was aware of this. He had to make sure to never leave her side when she got back.
He was going to keep making those knots. He was going to fight. He wasn't going to give up. At that moment, Finnick Odair knelt down to pick up the pieces, realizing how much it reminded him of his own self. He was also broken, almost useless and even if he manage to repair himself, he was never going to be the same.
Not anymore.
As he ran a hand through his bronze hair, she spoke up in his head again, this time softer. Hold on Finny. I'm coming.