+++ Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or any of the other Characters created by Eoin Colfer, nor any of the songs, films or other works of fiction mentioned or alluded to in this story. They all belong to their respective owners. +++
Chapter One: "Here it's safe and here it's warm…"
He could see the pattern now. After half an hour of scribbling figures, letters and equations on the legal pad he used as a "sketchbook" he could finally see his way out of the mathematical maze, he had gotten himself into. Artemis smirked. This new and unconventional way to prove that the sum of two uneven numbers is always an even number would not change the world. Everyone studying mathematics in university started his or her analysis course by learning different ways to prove this. But it was nevertheless very satisfying to find this new and unexpected approach. A nice way to relax from the strain of being a role model for his siblings or of thinking up a foolproof trap for Opal Koboi or of finding an acceptable way to stop global warming, which would still allow people to keep up their luxurious standard of living… His to-do-list was interminable. That's why even his brain needed to be amused with some easy, not too challenging work. "This must be why sudokus became that popular", thought Artemis. He made a mental note, to suggest a series of Sudoku books to the publishing company he part-owned. The opportunity to make money out of this mass-phenomenon should not be missed. Jotting down the last three letters 'q.e.d.', which meant that he had proved what he wanted, he allowed himself to lean back into his chair and close his eyes. He would make a paper out of this and submit it to one of the specialized journals under a pseudonym. Let the old men in the stuffy rooms and lecture halls gnash their teeth at this impish genius, who would make them pore endless hours over some new proof. Baffling them with its simplicity and elegance. Luring them into trying to disprove it. This would be futile of course.
Artemis tossed the legal pad onto his working table and got up. It was time to leave his study and dress for dinner. Even though it was summer and the household staff was downsized, so that the cook had to serve the meals, his mother still insisted on a certain splendor. Even Myles and Becket had to put on a clean shirt and brush their hair. This was no problem for Myles, but it always took the nanny 20 minutes and five lollipops to coax Beckett into a dress shirt. Artemis smiled fondly thinking of his twin-brothers. And of their love of synthetic sweets on sticks he would never understand. He left his study, closing the door firmly and changing the code on the door lock. There was no point in taking chances with his siblings. He walked through his bedroom to the adjoining dressing room, where he began to undress. Artemis was always dressed smartly but dinner required a special effort. His mother supported this. Even though Angeline would have liked her son to be dressed in the 'Randomosity' T-shirt or a similar atrocity in quotidian life, she would never break the tradition of wearing evening gowns and tuxedos for dinner. He had already shed his slacks and started to pull the beige polo shirt he wore as a concession to the boiling summer heat over his head when a sudden wave of nausea made him double over. He clutched at the nearest wall and tried to avoid throwing up over his favorite dark-blue suede shoes. His stomach was spasming while his head suddenly seemed to burst from a headache of hitherto unknown intensity. It became difficult to breathe because every intake of breath was accompanied by a sharp pain between his ribs and in his diaphragm. But the most disturbing of these sensations was a tinkling along his spine, where his residual magic bristled under an unknown threat. Even a lesser genius than Artemis Fowl would have understood that something was horribly wrong.