I was listening to one of my favourite old songs by Tears For Fears, The Big Chair, and thought of this short bit. I don't own anything Star Trek, and I don't own the chair. Damn!
The Chair
God, it feels good, Kirk thought. It even has a bun warmer. He snuggled his behind deeper into the cushion beneath him. The back cushion miraculously form-fit to his back.
Why does the Captain get the best seat in the house? Of course, he's the captain. Even the armrests are comfortable. Look at the buttons and lights. Wonder what they all do. Do I dare? No, I might launch a photon torpedo or something.
Everyone was mulling options and ideas, while all Kirk could do was admire the chair. His hand caressed the blue light, then the red. His finger itched to press one, just one. He wondered why they weren't labeled. How is anyone to know what each and every light and button did. Maybe there's a manual in the armrest. He ran a hand along the arm, searching for a clip or something to pop open. Nothing!
From here, I can see the entire bridge. And I have the best spot for the viewscreen. Wow, look at it. Not one head in my way. Why doesn't the bridge have a popcorn popper? Oops, Spock is coming this way. I'll try to look like I'm thinking. Hand on chin, that's it. Scrunch eyebrows. Contemplate on solutions.........oh, my ass loves this chair. Gotta find out where Star Fleet orders these.
The chair moved as Kirk surveyed the bridge. It swivels. He tamped the temptation to make it circle 360 degrees...........several times.
Just then, Spock walked by. "Out of the chair."
Damn!
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Silly nonsense, but hey, it explains why Kirk was sitting in the chair. He doesn't want to be captain, he just want that damn chair!