Essence of Evil
By Dreamer
Once you told me that the essence of evil is the same as the essence of desire. That desire leads to evil, that to desire at all is evil.
The only thing worse is to desire evil itself for by doing that, one is courting death.
Evil doesn't always lead to death. Death is a tool to be used when necessary, not a punishment to be feared as many people believe. You told me that, with the moonlight cascading over your face, letting you blend in with the darkness as if you weren't even there.
You are so at ease in the darkness that it is unnerving. You own the darkness, slipping through it like water through silk. I stand out against the darkness, clearly visible and since I'm visible, I'm also vulnerable. You aren't because you are a part of the darkness. Or should I say that the darkness is a part of you?
You are so alone that it is hard to imagine you making a whole, hard to think that you are part of something.
But to think that something is a part of you ............. that is easy to believe because you are like a black hole, dragging everything around you closer and stealing it's essence, it's soul. I should know for you've done it to me, haven't you?
You've taken my soul and stolen my heart with a few easy words that slipped from your lips with practiced ease.
How many others have you lied to? How many others are adrift upon the sea of life without even a life-preserving conscience because you've taken it from them? I'm honest enough to admit that I feel jealous of them, jealous that you've stolen the qualities that made them human from them, as you did to me.
At first I thought that you were only after my heart, or maybe my body. How could I know that you were after my very humanity? Like a Dementor, you can seize whatever you like, for defense against your dark allure is impossible, the very thought ridiculous. Who would want to resist you? It is a waste of time to even bother trying, for surrender, unequivocal surrender of heart, body and soul is the only path to choose. The rewards for surrender are greater than could ever be imagined and therefore, more precious than a mere soul.
Why are you so powerful? It has nothing to do with breeding or strength but somehow, you have this amazing power over people. Anybody will drop anything to do whatever you command. That goes for me as well. Nobody is immune to your charm.
Maybe it's in your eyes.
Your beautiful split-silver eyes. Like twin mirrors, they reflect whoever looks in them but stronger, more powerful. Just looking in your eyes automatically makes people feel good about themselves.
But not always. Your eyes can make people bigger, 'tis true but they can also shrink people.
Like when you laugh. The mere sound has an unearthly, bone-chilling ring to it, but when your pupil dilates as your iris enlarges, and your whole eye seems to be made out of silver ......
Then I feel as if I'm not even there because you don't notice me, and I live for you.
I need you.
I need you like the sun needs the moon, like the night needs the day.
Like evil needs good. For without evil, there can be no good for both are comparative.
For without you, there can be no me for all I am is the opposite of you, just as good is the opposite of evil.
But when I kissed you, you stole my laughter, my innocence, my very goodness. You left me with nothing to fill the aching hole inside my heart that you had made. Every time you kissed me, I lost a bit more of myself. Every time I left my friends to be with you, I grew further apart from what had been my life.
I am falling apart now, there is so much of me missing. You took the cords of love and friendship that bound my soul together and ripped them into little pieces while you smiled at me. And I, dazzled by the brilliance of your smile let you take them, thinking that they were nothing compared to what you were giving me.
Except you weren't giving me anything. And still I return, hooked on nothing, bound to you forever and forever more.
And you know it. You know what you are doing, how you are affecting me, how you are destroying me.
And you don't care. That's what hurts the most. If you hated me, wanted revenge, wanted to destroy me then I wouldn't feel so bad for at least you are thinking of me, remembering me. Bu this impersonal pleasure in my pain, that hurts and you know it, that's why you do it.
For you may not love me, but you love to hurt me and it shows. It shows in the way you kiss me, only to say that I'm ugly. It shows in the way you buy me expensive gifts, only to shatter them the way you shatter my heart, my faith in you.
For you are all I want, all I need but I need you like an addict needs drugs for you have taken so much of me, that you are the only one who can fill this hole, and by doing so, make me whole.
You don't give me what you took though. You take away my laughter, and return your tears. You steal my happiness and replace it with your pain. You take all the good in my soul and pour undiluted evil into it, filling me with things to make me suffer, things to make me cry.
For you said that to desire is evil, and to desire is even worse. By desiring you, I am becoming evil but will endure anything for you, for you are all I desire.
You, and the darkness inside you.
You are the essence of evil.
You are the essence of desire.
And I desire the evil inside you.
Authors Note: Told you I'd have a sequel! I really like this series, it's so much deeper than my normal stuff, even if it is a lot darker and slightly anti-Draco. Draco is my favorite character from HP. I'll probably write a third part because this is a story I am doing for myself. Because there are some ghosts that need to be exorcised, lest they haunt your dreams and turn your joy into sorrow at the moment of triumph. Ohhhh, that sounded cool, kind of like something I might write in this story. ;~) Go ahead and review.