A/N: This story is rated M for a reason. Please heed my trigger warning.
Trigger Warning
The following story contains graphic depictions of sexual assault and trauma. Harsh language and mature themes imminent. Please do not read if faint of heart.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
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After waiting alone for two hours, I was fed up. My elbow was sore from propping my head up on the table. The entire contents of the bread basket now rested inside my stomach and my wine glass had been emptied twice. I was stood up, again. Typical. With a sigh I downed the remainder of my cup and flagged the waiter over. The look he gave me made my insides cringe, pure pity filled his icy blue eyes.
"Ms. Heartfilia?" he crooned, a weak smile touching his lips.
"I'm ready for the check, Francis," I muttered, dejected.
"I'm so sorry, love," he murmured, gently touching my shoulder as he placed the bill for my alcohol in front of me.
I wished I could say that I was used to this treatment; that I wasn't bothered. But I was. Ever since I had been featured in Sorcerer Magazine my invitations to go out had skyrocketed. However, it all seemed to be a cruel joke as the past three I'd accepted had decided to ditch me. Just what kind of torment would I receive from Aquarius when I told her? I dreaded the thought.
Instinctively, I reached for my hip, expecting to brush my fingertips over my celestial keys. Of course I'd left them at home, knowing I wouldn't need my keys or my whip just going out on a date. Instead I'd opted to wear a gorgeous, crimson dress. It clung to my body in all the right places and a large slit up the thigh revealed just enough skin to be considered sexy. I'd done my makeup to match: bold, but natural. I scoffed as I smoothed the dress down as I rose and began to leave the restaurant. What a waste. I should have taken Levy's offer and had a girls' night.
It was chillier outside than I'd expected it to be. My arms clutched my frame, trembling slightly as my heels clicked across the asphalt. My breath came out in wispy, white puffs. What a mistake.
As I walked, I cursed myself. This was the last time I'd be going out. I wouldn't take another date attempt. Men sucked. Well, most of them. My thoughts turned to my best friend. His spikey pink hair and goofy grin always put me in a good mood. Perhaps he and Happy would come over and spend the rest of the night playing card games with me. Tonight wouldn't have been such a waste after all.
I smiled, determined to make it home and give them a call (if they weren't already at my place, which knowing those two, they'd snuck in and raided my fridge anyway).
Lost by my own thoughts, I hadn't noticed the sound of footfalls matching mine until I came to cross the street. When I'd stopped, it had taken a few moments for the sounds of steps to die out behind me. My heart rate accelerated. The hair of the back of my neck rose, and not from the biting cold in the air.
I turned, facing my pursuer. The man was slightly older than I was. He looked nice enough. His hair was an emerald green that made me think of Freid. Looking at his eyes I noticed they were a deep, chocolate brown. He had a gentle chin and a small demeanor. He must be on his way home as well.
I offered him a smile and nodded my head, blonde locks whipping against my cheeks as the wind picked up. "Evening," I said kindly.
He studied me for a moment. Too long of a moment. Chills filled my core and I clutched myself tighter, shielding my body. "Good evening, Lucy," he finally said.
"Hm? Have we met?" I questioned, wondering why the feeling of dread was beginning to course through me.
"No. We haven't. I saw your spread in Sorcerer Magazine. You're a Fairy Tail wizard and easy enough to recognize. Hey, where are your keys? I'd love to meet a zodiac spirit. Leo has always fascinated me."
I shouldn't answer. I knew I should break into a run. But my body was frozen and my mouth decided to speak before my brain. "I left them at home. I was supposed to have a date tonight."
"Ah, what a shame." The man stepped closer to me. I stepped backwards. My heel gave out from under me, causing my ankle to twist at a sickening level. I cried out as I began to fall. The stranger reached out and caught me roughly by my right arm. He jerked me up, causing me to let out a sharp exhale of pain.
As his fingers dug into my flesh, I saw that his nails were disgustingly dirty. Mud caked the underside of them and they were much too uneven.
"What a pretty little tattoo," he hissed, twisting my hand to examine my Fairy Tail mark. "It's not going to do anything to help you, Lucy."
I choked out a sob, my left hand balled into a fist and I swung with all my strength at his head. He caught my attack with his other hand. "Oh no, dear Lucy. There's no stopping this. I've watched you for some time." His face was inches from mine, his breath smelled rotten. I felt the color leave my face.
"P-please," I stammered, "let me go."
"Not until we're done," he snarled.
I lurched my knee upward, thankful for such a large slit in my dress and successfully collided with his groin. It was enough for him to release me and he cursed in agony. Turning, I bolted, aiming for any sort of sanctuary I could find. I made it a few yards before he caught me, ripping me off my feet by my long, blonde hair. Sparks of pain shot from my cranium down to my toes as he dragged me off the street, into an alley. I screamed. I begged. I offered him anything he wanted. Salty tears licked down my face, the black mascara turning into a raccoon's mask as I pleaded for him to just let me go. I was a member of the strongest team in the strongest guild in all of Fiore. And none of it mattered.
With a violence I thought only could be possessed by dark wizards he threw me, hard, onto the ground. I cried out as my elbows scuffed the hard concrete, leaving flakes of my skin behind. My anguish only seemed to excite this monster.
With one knee he pinned me by my abdomen, pushing all his weight against my internal organs. I closed my eyes, tears streaking down my face even faster, snot oozing out of my nose as his dirty hand ripped my gown. He dipped those disgusting fingers into the most precious and sacred part of my flesh. I bit my lip as hard as I could to try and mask the pain. "What a naughty little mage you are," he breathed into my ear. I tried to bash my skull against him but he pulled away. "There's no fighting this, Lucy," he snarled. And I knew he was right. He was stronger than me, outweighing me by three stone, at least. Without my spirits, my whip, or my friends, I was nothing. I was just some heiress who felt entitled to something different.
Mavis, please let me die. Right here, please. I don't want this. I implored the idea of death. Anything was better than what was happening to me. Nothing came to help me. No one heard my screams and cries.
Except for this monster. All my pleading did was make his blood race. I looked onto his face for only a moment and saw the sickest, cruelest joy in his horrifyingly dark eyes before he took me in the most intimate way one can take a person. He slammed into my core, and I screamed. I felt my inner walls tear at the punishment, pain caused my vision to white out.
And as soon as it had begun, it was over. The monster was gone. I was alone, bruised and bleeding in the alley. My dress was destroyed, but not nearly as much as I was. I laid on the ground, sobbing and begging to go back before all this until I lost track of time.
Maybe minutes, maybe hours passed before I struggled to my feet. I had to get home. I had to get clean. I stumbled along the familiar path to my apartment. I stopped three times and retched over into the canal, losing all the bread and wine I had consumed earlier in the night.
Once inside, I ran to the toilet and vomited again. I looked in the mirror above my bathroom sink and saw my face. My big, brown eyes were caked in smeared makeup; I was all red and puffy. My hair was disheveled. I felt (and looked) like a ghost. Trembling, I slid out of my ruined dress and in a fit of rage threw both it and my shoes out the window, into the canal below.
I sank against the wall, naked and sticky, and held my legs against my chest. I stayed like that, in hysterics for several moments before drawing water for a bath. I had to get clean. I had to wash this sin off of me. I turned the stream as hot as it would get. And it was like liquid fire, but it wasn't hot enough. Even as I felt my skin burn, I still felt my attacker's touch.
The water between my legs turned pink and I cried out in horror, washing the blood off my thighs. I rubbed myself with soap until I was raw, emptied the bath, and proceeded to repeat this process. What was I going to do? I couldn't tell anyone about this. The guild would realize how weak I was. All my friends would abandon me for someone stronger, someone who could defend themselves. This was a demon I had to fight on my own. I never, ever could let anyone know. Except… An idea struck me and I reached for my celestial keys.
I held contracts with my spirits. Technically, I thought, they can help me and never tell a soul. Not if I tell them not to. Before I had really thought this plan through, Aquarius' key was between my fingers. "Open, gate of the water bearer," I choked out, having problems finding my voice. And then, there she was. Annoyed and angry at me, whipping her blue hair out of her face.
"You interrupted my date with Scorpio! You're going to pay for this, how dare y—" her cold eyes turned to me, weeping in the tub water with her, clutching my naked body. "L-Lucy?!" the zodiac gasped, her anger completely vanished. All that was left was concern from my older, dearest spirit. "Lucy, what happened?!" she shouted at me, panic filling her face.
I caved, I told her everything. She held me against her as I bawled my eyes out, clinging to her form, terrified she would leave me alone in this bathroom. "I'm so weak. You always tell me how pathetic I am, and you're right."
"Lucy, goodness, Lucy… No! Never." The water bearer hugged me tightly against her, shielding me. "Oh Lucy, we can fix this. Go call Natsu an—"
"No!" I screamed at the top of my lung, shoving her away. Panic and adrenalin surged through me as I viciously shook my head at her suggestion. "No, they are never to know. No one is ever to know!"
"Lu—" Aquarius began to argue with me. I wouldn't have it. Exasperated, she relented. "Alright well at least summon Leo… We need to get you into bed and calmed down."
"No! I won't summon Loke. I won't summon Scorpio, or Taurus, or Cancer!" the thought of being around a male made my stomach flip and knot.
"Okay, well I need help, Lucy! I don't know how to handle this sort of thing!" The water spirit actually sounded nervous, almost panicked at me. It was enough to make me draw a breath.
"H-how about Aries and Virgo?" I whispered.
"Okay."
The three Zodiac spirits comforted me, and Aries even brought my Plue with her through the gate so I could hold onto his little shaking form for security. Eventually they coaxed me into bed. Before I knew it, I was out like a light.
I awoke the next morning, aching and sore from my scalp down to the tips of my toes. I immediately began crying again, recalling the night previous' events. A hand rested on my shoulder and squeezed lightly. I jumped, startled at the connection and turned to face the perpetrator. Loke looked at me with hard eyes, pushing the brim of his glasses back up his nose. "L-Loke?" I stammered, trembling under his touch.
"Lucy, I'd never hurt you," he whispered gently. "You knew those three would tell me what happened. I opened my gate and watched over you all night. I knew you wouldn't want to be alone."
Affection suddenly filled me and I launched my throbbing body into his welcoming arms. I buried my face into his neck and sobbed, clinging to his jacket as if I was afraid he'd disappear. "I'm not going anywhere," he responded, running a hand over my messy blonde hair.
"L-Loke, what am I going to d-do?" I wailed.
"I don't know," the lion answered honestly. We sat in my bed for a few minutes, my faithful spirit holding me as I cried into him. "You're so strong, Lucy."
His words gave me resolve. "I won't let this destroy me!" I suddenly declared, the tears drying up. "I'll just get stronger! And, I'll carry my keys everywhere with me," I added sheepishly and was glad to see that made a ghost of a smile appear on Leo's lips.
"Get dressed. Would you like me to escort you to the guild hall?"
"Mm!" I nodded, clutching my right fist over my heart.
I was shocked to see the girl looking back at me in the mirror was the same Lucy that I'd woken up to every morning. There were bags under my eyes and my face was slightly puffy from all the tears I'd shed. But those were still my chocolate eyes. That was still my shiny hair. I was feeling full of confidence until I looked down at my arms and saw the bright, purple bruises snaking over them. I gasped and looked away, feeling my heart race. Loke was beside me instantly, supporting me by my back. In his hand was my arm warmers, I hadn't worn them in so long. I felt queasy.
"It's cold enough outside, no one will think anything of you wearing these today, and a pair of jeans." I nodded and shakily pulled the warmed up to my biceps. Loke assisted in tying the yellow ribbons for me.
We left my apartment when I had finished getting ready. I left my hair down in a halo around my face, hoping it would hide the pain on my features. Walking was difficult. Between my legs ached terribly and it caused me to hobble slightly.
The guild hall was bustling with noise and excitement. Everyone was living their lives as if mine hadn't come to a fiery crash the night before. Mira smiled at me from behind the bar as I walked in, waving. "Good morning, Lucy!" she called.
"Oi'! Luc'! There you are!" I locked eyes with my best friend. Natsu Dragneel, the fire dragon slayer. Salamander. He was standing in the middle of the room, with our friend, Gray's neck trapped beneath his grasp. They were clearly bickering as usual. The ice mage was punching against Natsu's chest and going ignored. "Later, ice princess!" the pink-haired male quipped, releasing Gray and running over to me. "Where you been all morning, Luc'?" he asked and then eyed Loke suspiciously. "Loke. What are you doing here?"
Terrified, I looked at the celestial spirit, silently pleading for him to remain quiet. He respected my wishes. "It was a lovely morning, I wanted to spend some time with my dear Princess."
Natsu scoffed and pulled me away from him. "Go flirt with someone else, lion," he grumbled, pulling me out of Loke's grasp. Luckily, Natsu didn't notice my flinch as he closed his fist around my arm. "Want to do a mission today? Just me, you, and Happy!" He grinned so wide at me, I felt my heart crack a little. The thought of going out into the world today was out of the question.
I shook my head. "No Natsu," I whispered weakly. "I'm not feeling up to doing a mission today."
"What's wrong? You sick or something?" Concern filled his obsidian eyes as he looked over my body. I felt so exposed at that penetrating stare.
"No!" I screamed, leaping away from him. I wrapped my arms around my chest and began to shake violently. I felt the eyes of several guild mates wander in our direction.
Natsu looked like a puppy I'd just kicked. "W-wha'?... O-okay, Lucy." His eyes hooded and I felt like a complete shrew. My heart pounded in my throat. I felt the tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. I wasn't ready for this. I couldn't be here.
With a choked sob, I turned on my heel and sprinted as fast as I could out of the guild hall. Loke was on my heels, calling for me to stop. I didn't slow until I was back at my apartment. I threw myself onto my plush bed and wept into my pillow. I heard Loke pull my desk chair out and place it beside the bed. I heard his weight as he plopped down into the chair. He didn't speak to me. I didn't speak to him. But he was there, my silent guardian, watching over my broken soul.
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A/N: Well... There's the first chapter. Please review or leave a comment! ^-^