DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters except for Susie. The title is taken from a Warrant song...and the words fit this story! ok i must share the l yric that i hope to incorporate: "i don't need to be the king of the world, as long as i'm the hero of this little girl..." anyway, enjoy!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Rafe's opinion on the whole thing, as requested! This is another "sequel" to "Fly Away From Here. keep the ideas coming, i'll gladly put them into my work! also, please review this and be critical if needs be! i llove to hear other's opinions on what I do.
Heaven Isn't Too Far Away
...My big brother Rafe meant everything to me-- he was my hero, my protector, and, in a sense, my entire world. Since I was a baby, he'd watch out for me and make sure I only did what was best for myself. Then there was the situation with Danny. At first, he seemed to accept it. He told Danny never to break his Susie's heart. Everything was just fine, as long as no hearts were broken. At least, everything SEEMED to be just fine...
July seventh was the hottest day of the year, with temperatures soarin' over the 100's. My heart raced as I walked home from the grocer's, not only from heat but from my newly founded relationship with Danny Walker. Lord, everything seemed to be so perfect! And Rafe, Rafe had been so good about this whole thing. Any other guy found his best friend neckin' with his little sister would flip his lid. But not my big brother, no sir, he was wonderful about it. I looked up at the hazy summer sky and began to whistle.
When I got hom, Rafe was sitting at the kitchen table, eating some ice cream and readin' the paper.
"Hey you,"I grinned, flopping down next to him and leaning on the table, "Whatcha readin'?"
"Nothin'," he mumbled, not looking at me. Quickly, he took a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and resumed his reading.
It was then that I realized we hadn't really spoken since the early mornin' that he found me and Danny together. Maybe he was really happy for us-- or maybe I was just imagining that he was.
"What's this, chocolate?" I asked, sticking my finger into his ice cream and sampling it.
Angrily, he grabbed it away.
"That's mine, dammit!" he cussed, getting up from the table and setting himself down on the couch in the next room.
Defiantly, I followed.
"Rafe, are you mad at me?" I asked as innocently as possible, slowly sitting down next to him.
"I should be, but I'm not," he huffed, staring at the wall as if he were trying to burn a hole in it with his eyes.
"Then it's Danny you're mad at, isn't it?"
"Suze, that's not of your goddamn business."
"Yes it is, I have a right to know what's goin' on, especially if it involves me. Or Danny."
"Would you stop talkin' about him like you two are married or somethin'?!"
"You're angry with us both, aren't you...?"
"Yes, yes I am. More at him, but I'm darn well disappointed in you."
"I don't see why. I didn't do anythin' wrong."
"He's my best friend, Susie! And you're my little sister! It just...defies all logic is all! If he hurts you, I can't be friends with him no more. And if you hurt him, I hafta be mad at you. Either way, I check out badly and it isn't even my fault!"
"Shit, that's selfish Rafe."
"I don't care, it's how I feel. I don't wanna lose neither of you but I don't even have a choice if something goes wrong."
"Nothing'll go wrong though! We're happy together..."
"You don't know that. For all you know he could be usin' you!"
I lost it there. Crying, I punched him slack in the jaw and stormed towards the front door.
"Susanna Rose McCawley, you get that scrawny little ass back here!" he screamed as I slammed the screen shut. I ran for the barn--it was the only place I could hide from everyone. What if Rafe was right...what if Danny was using me?
...The barn was my safe place. Amongst all the planes and the clutter, I could just hide and be alone with myself. I could think 'bout everything that went on and have time to cry without bein embarrassed; I could have time to sort everything out in my mind without bein interrupted. That day, though, I just flipped out...
Everything in the barn was a target when it came to my anger and frustration. I pummelled the wall, baring down so hard that within minutes my knuckles were raw, bruised, and pouring out blood. I'd never been so angry in my life--I felt so happy with Danny in my heart, but then the only other person whom I loved so dearly was making it hard to believe that my relationship could be depended on. Crying and screamin', I heaved on, throwing myself hard at the steel side of the cropduster.
"Suze!" a deep voice behind me cried upon enetering the barn--it was Danny.
Thank God he showed up when he did, because I was so exhausted and in so much pain that i felt my legs go week and I fell to the ground. Luckily, his strong arms got there in time and saved my head from the concrete.
Silently, we sat there; me bleeding, bruised, and sobbing, and him cradling my body to his with his eyes shut and his lips on my forehead. He knew what was wrong.
"Rafe, right?" he asked quietly, brushing my hair away from my face with one hand and wiping my tears with the other.
I nodded, trying to stop crying. God, I loved him.
"What happened baby?" he whispered, care showing thruogh his dark, deepset eyes.
"He said you were probably usin' me. That you didn't really care. And that he was worried 'cause if we got messed up he'd lose one of us no matter what," I murmered, finally realizing the pain that Rafe had been feeling. He was right to be so scared, he loved me and Danny both and losing us could mean a lot of trouble for him. He was hurt and alone and I hadn't done anything to help him.
"I'll talk to him," Danny offered, holding my hand gently and wiping the blood away from my knuckles. "I'll make him see that what we've got is real."
"No," I replied, sitting up feebly, "I know why he's hurtin' and he's got his reasons. Lord, I love him. I love you both. But I hurt him bad, we both did, without meaning too. Mostly it's me, ya know? I'm his baby and he kinda feels like he has to protect me. I should talk to him first. I'll come get you later, though, alright?"
He pulled me to my feet and kissed me.
"Alright, darlin', but next time you come to me before you go and beat up this old plane, okay?" He grinned sweetly and cupped my chin in one of his hands. With the other he wiped the last tear from my cheek and kissed me lightly on the lips. "This is real, Suze, I'd never use you. I love you."
"I love you too," I said, gently pulling away from him and running from the barn to my house.
...Rafe was never one to cry. He'd hold it in until it tore him up inside, or he'd take it out on a pillow or a wall--but he'd never, ever cry, especially not in front of me. But that night when I went home, he was on the porch sippin' a beer and bawling like a baby...
"Rafe?" I offered, approaching him slowly and finally sitting down next to him.
"What is it," he sniffled, "Can't ya see I'm busy?" He held up the bottle as his excuse.
"Gimme that," I snapped, takin' a swig from it. It was pretty damn good for cheap beer.
A long silence insued. Rafe had forced himself to stop crying. I had forced myself to keep from crying. It was pretty damned uneasy. Finally, I broke the tension.
"Rafe, I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, putting the bottle down loudly on the steps of the porch.
"Damn, Suze, you didn't drink THAT much of it. i got more inside," he smirked arrogantly.
"No, you know what I mean. I--we-- didn't mean to hurt you. I know it makes you nervous that you could lose one or both of us but this is real. we care' bout eachother so much, and it's not like we're strangers!"
"I know, girly, but--"
"No, let me finish. I love you both the same, only you as my brother and Danny as my...lover...and, well, I'd never intentionally let any hurt come to either of you. And Danny feels the same way. If I ever saw you in pain like that Rafe I'd kill myself, I swear it. So please, PLEASE, trust us. Be happy for me, please?"
He looked at me with those big brown eyes and i melted. I cried again, and as I sat there sobbing into my knees I felt his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him. Together we cried as the sunset, not in pain but for love of eachother. We would always be there for eachother, my big brother and I. I'd never lose his love.
In an hour or so, we were still outside, finishing off another bottle of beer. once the fireflies were out, Danny appeared at the steps. Rafe stood up.
I prepared myself for the worst, despite what we had talked about.
"Rafe, I--" Danny began hesitantly, shuffling his feet and starin' at the ground.
"Forget it Walker," Rafe smiled and winked, "I understand. Let's leave it at that."
Rafe offered him his hand, and they shook on it, as if sealing their "truce".
...The three of us sat there that night until well past midnight, revelling in the silence, the beer, the love we all felt, and the magic of the fireflies lighting up the fields with an enchanting green glow. Heaven didn't seem to be too far away from this porch in the fields of Tenny, where three angels fell asleep on eachother with dreams of what was yet to come, and dreams of what was past...
Fin.
P.S. I dunno, maybe I should insert of all of these mini-stories into the original as I write htme (and still post them seperately), and then in the end post it as one big story. what do you guys think? also, i need an idea for my next installment! keep the reviews ans suggestions coming you guys! -dana-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Rafe's opinion on the whole thing, as requested! This is another "sequel" to "Fly Away From Here. keep the ideas coming, i'll gladly put them into my work! also, please review this and be critical if needs be! i llove to hear other's opinions on what I do.
Heaven Isn't Too Far Away
...My big brother Rafe meant everything to me-- he was my hero, my protector, and, in a sense, my entire world. Since I was a baby, he'd watch out for me and make sure I only did what was best for myself. Then there was the situation with Danny. At first, he seemed to accept it. He told Danny never to break his Susie's heart. Everything was just fine, as long as no hearts were broken. At least, everything SEEMED to be just fine...
July seventh was the hottest day of the year, with temperatures soarin' over the 100's. My heart raced as I walked home from the grocer's, not only from heat but from my newly founded relationship with Danny Walker. Lord, everything seemed to be so perfect! And Rafe, Rafe had been so good about this whole thing. Any other guy found his best friend neckin' with his little sister would flip his lid. But not my big brother, no sir, he was wonderful about it. I looked up at the hazy summer sky and began to whistle.
When I got hom, Rafe was sitting at the kitchen table, eating some ice cream and readin' the paper.
"Hey you,"I grinned, flopping down next to him and leaning on the table, "Whatcha readin'?"
"Nothin'," he mumbled, not looking at me. Quickly, he took a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and resumed his reading.
It was then that I realized we hadn't really spoken since the early mornin' that he found me and Danny together. Maybe he was really happy for us-- or maybe I was just imagining that he was.
"What's this, chocolate?" I asked, sticking my finger into his ice cream and sampling it.
Angrily, he grabbed it away.
"That's mine, dammit!" he cussed, getting up from the table and setting himself down on the couch in the next room.
Defiantly, I followed.
"Rafe, are you mad at me?" I asked as innocently as possible, slowly sitting down next to him.
"I should be, but I'm not," he huffed, staring at the wall as if he were trying to burn a hole in it with his eyes.
"Then it's Danny you're mad at, isn't it?"
"Suze, that's not of your goddamn business."
"Yes it is, I have a right to know what's goin' on, especially if it involves me. Or Danny."
"Would you stop talkin' about him like you two are married or somethin'?!"
"You're angry with us both, aren't you...?"
"Yes, yes I am. More at him, but I'm darn well disappointed in you."
"I don't see why. I didn't do anythin' wrong."
"He's my best friend, Susie! And you're my little sister! It just...defies all logic is all! If he hurts you, I can't be friends with him no more. And if you hurt him, I hafta be mad at you. Either way, I check out badly and it isn't even my fault!"
"Shit, that's selfish Rafe."
"I don't care, it's how I feel. I don't wanna lose neither of you but I don't even have a choice if something goes wrong."
"Nothing'll go wrong though! We're happy together..."
"You don't know that. For all you know he could be usin' you!"
I lost it there. Crying, I punched him slack in the jaw and stormed towards the front door.
"Susanna Rose McCawley, you get that scrawny little ass back here!" he screamed as I slammed the screen shut. I ran for the barn--it was the only place I could hide from everyone. What if Rafe was right...what if Danny was using me?
...The barn was my safe place. Amongst all the planes and the clutter, I could just hide and be alone with myself. I could think 'bout everything that went on and have time to cry without bein embarrassed; I could have time to sort everything out in my mind without bein interrupted. That day, though, I just flipped out...
Everything in the barn was a target when it came to my anger and frustration. I pummelled the wall, baring down so hard that within minutes my knuckles were raw, bruised, and pouring out blood. I'd never been so angry in my life--I felt so happy with Danny in my heart, but then the only other person whom I loved so dearly was making it hard to believe that my relationship could be depended on. Crying and screamin', I heaved on, throwing myself hard at the steel side of the cropduster.
"Suze!" a deep voice behind me cried upon enetering the barn--it was Danny.
Thank God he showed up when he did, because I was so exhausted and in so much pain that i felt my legs go week and I fell to the ground. Luckily, his strong arms got there in time and saved my head from the concrete.
Silently, we sat there; me bleeding, bruised, and sobbing, and him cradling my body to his with his eyes shut and his lips on my forehead. He knew what was wrong.
"Rafe, right?" he asked quietly, brushing my hair away from my face with one hand and wiping my tears with the other.
I nodded, trying to stop crying. God, I loved him.
"What happened baby?" he whispered, care showing thruogh his dark, deepset eyes.
"He said you were probably usin' me. That you didn't really care. And that he was worried 'cause if we got messed up he'd lose one of us no matter what," I murmered, finally realizing the pain that Rafe had been feeling. He was right to be so scared, he loved me and Danny both and losing us could mean a lot of trouble for him. He was hurt and alone and I hadn't done anything to help him.
"I'll talk to him," Danny offered, holding my hand gently and wiping the blood away from my knuckles. "I'll make him see that what we've got is real."
"No," I replied, sitting up feebly, "I know why he's hurtin' and he's got his reasons. Lord, I love him. I love you both. But I hurt him bad, we both did, without meaning too. Mostly it's me, ya know? I'm his baby and he kinda feels like he has to protect me. I should talk to him first. I'll come get you later, though, alright?"
He pulled me to my feet and kissed me.
"Alright, darlin', but next time you come to me before you go and beat up this old plane, okay?" He grinned sweetly and cupped my chin in one of his hands. With the other he wiped the last tear from my cheek and kissed me lightly on the lips. "This is real, Suze, I'd never use you. I love you."
"I love you too," I said, gently pulling away from him and running from the barn to my house.
...Rafe was never one to cry. He'd hold it in until it tore him up inside, or he'd take it out on a pillow or a wall--but he'd never, ever cry, especially not in front of me. But that night when I went home, he was on the porch sippin' a beer and bawling like a baby...
"Rafe?" I offered, approaching him slowly and finally sitting down next to him.
"What is it," he sniffled, "Can't ya see I'm busy?" He held up the bottle as his excuse.
"Gimme that," I snapped, takin' a swig from it. It was pretty damn good for cheap beer.
A long silence insued. Rafe had forced himself to stop crying. I had forced myself to keep from crying. It was pretty damned uneasy. Finally, I broke the tension.
"Rafe, I'm so sorry!" I blurted out, putting the bottle down loudly on the steps of the porch.
"Damn, Suze, you didn't drink THAT much of it. i got more inside," he smirked arrogantly.
"No, you know what I mean. I--we-- didn't mean to hurt you. I know it makes you nervous that you could lose one or both of us but this is real. we care' bout eachother so much, and it's not like we're strangers!"
"I know, girly, but--"
"No, let me finish. I love you both the same, only you as my brother and Danny as my...lover...and, well, I'd never intentionally let any hurt come to either of you. And Danny feels the same way. If I ever saw you in pain like that Rafe I'd kill myself, I swear it. So please, PLEASE, trust us. Be happy for me, please?"
He looked at me with those big brown eyes and i melted. I cried again, and as I sat there sobbing into my knees I felt his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him. Together we cried as the sunset, not in pain but for love of eachother. We would always be there for eachother, my big brother and I. I'd never lose his love.
In an hour or so, we were still outside, finishing off another bottle of beer. once the fireflies were out, Danny appeared at the steps. Rafe stood up.
I prepared myself for the worst, despite what we had talked about.
"Rafe, I--" Danny began hesitantly, shuffling his feet and starin' at the ground.
"Forget it Walker," Rafe smiled and winked, "I understand. Let's leave it at that."
Rafe offered him his hand, and they shook on it, as if sealing their "truce".
...The three of us sat there that night until well past midnight, revelling in the silence, the beer, the love we all felt, and the magic of the fireflies lighting up the fields with an enchanting green glow. Heaven didn't seem to be too far away from this porch in the fields of Tenny, where three angels fell asleep on eachother with dreams of what was yet to come, and dreams of what was past...
Fin.
P.S. I dunno, maybe I should insert of all of these mini-stories into the original as I write htme (and still post them seperately), and then in the end post it as one big story. what do you guys think? also, i need an idea for my next installment! keep the reviews ans suggestions coming you guys! -dana-