A/N: Please take note that English isn't my mother tongue, so for example Ichimaru's lines can sound very weird and stupid. I think that Matsumoto and Ichimaru are very OOC in other ways, too, but I trust in your imagination and hope that you're able to enjoy it despite all mistakes :)
Disclaimer: All rights for creating such a wonderful thing like Bleach go to Tite Kubo.
Promises
Gin…
Did you believe in promises?
Did you believe in those cute pinky promises that children do, thinking they're forever? Did you believe in teenagers' quick words to ther parents before a night out? Did you believe in promises that adults yell in despair, promising that tomorrow is a better day, they do everything better? Did you believe in promises that old people breathe when they are facing death?
Did you believe in promises, Gin?
Did you believe in those words that you said me a long time ago, blood on your cheek, a black cloth like a burden on your shoulders? Did you really think that I wouldn't need to cry anymore when you were walking away from me? Didn't you understand that I wouldn't spare tears while I saw you, standing alone and hurt?
You were so innocent, Gin. Like a child, you believed that you could do everything better by yourself. To the end, you kept walking forward, not caring about both other's and your own pain. There was better world waiting, a place without pain and tears.
You had given your promise, a promise that I wouldn't need to cry anymore, and you tried to achieve it. No matter if it cost your life.
What about your other promise, Gin? Why couldn't you try to make it true? Didn't care about it? Was it only words to comfort me, make me ready for losing you?
Didn't you believe in it?
Rangiku had just fallen in sleep when a quiet knock woke her up. She blinked few times, stretched her arms and looked at the clock on her night table. It was a half past twelve. Rangiku yawned, threw her sheets away and walked throgh the dark to the door.
"I did my paperwork, captain, I promise I did-" Rangiku started before she noticed that a person in front of her was other than her captain.
"It's more than twelve, and Cinderella is gone", Rangiku said, and realised that her joke sounded a little too sad to be a joke. But who could not be sad while looking in those light eyes and wondering if her friend had disappeared for good? Who could not be sad while hiding feelings that this silver-haired male would never be having for her?
"I haven't come here to meet her, I came here to meet a woman behind a disguise", Gin whispered and touched Rangiku's cheek softly.
Rangiku didn't need more. Her kneels gave up and so did her eyes, letting her feelings flow in throughful drops. Rangiku cried there, strong hands tightly around her, like he would have been scared that she could drown in her tears. Rangiku cried there, on the empty aisle at night, the head pressed against the chest of her loved one while she cried for her life and he was there.
Eventually, Rangiku had cried her tears and raised her eyes to look at Gin's face. "Thank you", she said softly and meant more than just this moment. Thank you for my childhood, thank you for being my first and only love, thank you for getting to know you. Thank you that I can eventually let go of you.
But just when Rangiku was releasing her hands from Gin's haori which she had been holding, long fingers grabbed hers and held them lightly. "Don't go", he breathed. "I need to chat with ya about somethin'."
"Would you like to have tea?" Rangiku asked when they were sitting in Rangiku's room. Be nice, be cool, be a perfect friend. Don't think about your terrible hair, light pyjamas or how near Gin is. No, it would be too dangerous. Forget your love, pain, sadness, confusion, fear – those feelings that you should have forgotten already a long time ago.
But there wouldn't been life then, would there?
"No, thanks", Gin said and Rangiku's heart ached again. No, not because of his refusal, but because of his familiar voice. How long had been since they talked last time?
Gin might be thinking similar thoughts, because he took her hands in his and looked her with an apologetic look in his narrow eyes. "I know we hadn't seen each other awhile, and 'tis okay if ya don't wanna talk to me, but..." Gin looked away while he tried to seek words. There was no sign about his usual smile, but Rangiku was used to it. Gin didn't really smile often, at least a real smile. He didn't wear a smile for happiness, no: Gin hid behind his creepy smirk, protected himself from the hurting world.
Why couldn't she give him happiness? Why wasn't she able to sweep his worries away?
"I love ya, I've done already long time."
Rangiku startled. Who had said it? Had it escaped from her lips, or was someone elsewhere said it too loud? Rangiku was almost starting to apologise before she noticed fear on Gin's face. Yes, Rangiku knew well fear of rejecting by the loved one. So many times she had practised this moment in front of a mirror and imagined Gin's expression on her face. Among hope and enthusiastic waiting, there had always been fear of rejecting on the top.
"Oh, Gin..." Rangiku breathed a hand on her mouth. Before she had time to speak more though, Gin turned away and began talking while he was stepping towards the door: "Sorry, I just had to say it before...never mind. Anyway, I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Gin felt hands grabbing his arm and turning him around, to look into familiar, beautiful eyes which were gleaming for happiness. Rangiku's lips touched Gin's, lightly, a little hesitating, before she pressed them against his.
"I did it only to stop your speech. You spoke unusually lot", Rangiku breathed eventually.
Gin's lips turned into a small smile – yes, the real one, but Rangiku noticed a hint of sadness in it. "What's wrong?" she inquired, surprised that Gin wasn't happier. They could be together at last, couldn't they?
"Nothin'", Gin said. "I'd just want ya'd accept this."
A piece of jewellery that he was holding was a bronze ring with a bronze chain. It was beautiful, but Rangiku didn't believe that Gin was giving it to her because of that reason.
"It's a request", Gin said. "Marry me, could ya?"
"Gin, of course I could! It-"
"Wait", Gin said and raised his hand up to stop Rangiku's talk. "There are things ya need to know before sayin' yes."
"I'd want ya won't tell anyone about my proposal before I say ya can."
Now Rangiku was confused. "Why-" she began.
"I can't tell", Gin said, with the saddest eyes that Rangiku had ever seen. "I'd tell if I could but-"
"It's okay."
Gin tilted his head, his turn to be confused.
"Gin, I'm used to your secrets. I don't like them, I think that you keep too many things yourself, but I accept it", Rangiku said softly. Then she raised her eyebrow and asked: "Other things I need to know?"
"In fact, yes. It's a promise as well."
"A promise?"
Gin nodded. "Whatever will happen, I'll always love ya and I'll come back to ya."
Rangiku fondled a cold metal. "You promise?"
"I promise."
And so left Gin Ichimaru to the darkness of the night. Tomorrow would be a day when he would leave Soul Society and his wife, and soon would be a day when he got a sword in his chest while trying to kill a monster in order to protect the world and his loved one.
Gin…
Wherever you are, do you still believe in promises? Do you still cling to words and looks that say something about happy endings?
I hope you do. Because if you do, I can promise we'll have a happy ending.
Please keep your innocent heart, Gin, wherever you are, and wait for me, wait for our happy ending. I promise I'll find you.