Adrenaline rushed through my body. I may have known this was coming but it still shocked me. I looked down as the blood poured out from my chest. My breathing began to get heavy, until I was hyperventilating. I thought about removing it. Maybe if I took the knife out, the pain would subside. I knew I had to try. I clutched the knife within my sweaty, small palms and slowly began to pull it out. A blood-curling scream rolled out of my throat as the bloody knife fell to the ground beside me. More blood began to pour from the gash in my chest. I knew that I had made this decision; this was my choice, my remedy for my sins. I was only a child, but a child has the ability to commit many great sins. Adults don't give us enough credit.
My first sin was being born. See if I never had been born, Mommy wouldn't be stressed out and I she would have to worry about the extra bills that came with having a child. Plus, most people Mommy liked didn't want to deal with a child that wasn't their own.
My second sin was going out into public with my injuries. They made Mommy get dirty looks and people didn't like her. They didn't realize that I deserved these bruises. Sometimes I wished I could hide them.
My third sin was opening the door this morning. I had let in these official people that wanted to arrest Mommy. I had left the house through the window to make sure that I didn't get beaten by them for my other sins.
Now I sat in a moldy, dark alley stained with blood. I sat underneath this sign of faded graffiti and felt my head get heavy. I slowly began to get dizzy, and I decided to curl up on the ground so I would fade away in darkness. Someone in school once told me, that when you die your body fades away and disappears. If that was true, then I would disappear as well. I didn't necessarily want to disappear from the world, but if hiding in this darkness until I did would help hide these bruises then I guess that it would do just fine.
And in my last moments I found something that hid wounds better than darkness.
Blood.