Lumihiutale - Learning to Love.
Gilbert pulled his scarf closer to the hollow of his throat and exhaled a cloud of hot breath into the crisp evening air. The date was a hard one, as it has been every year since, it was the Anniversary of the death of Gilbert's partner and mentor, Fritz. Gilbert came to the park to take his mind off the day and to get away from Ludwig, who always seemed to tiptoe around Gilbert like he was made of glass on this day.
Walking through the park Gilbert inhaled the scent of the evening air and the aroma's of the street vendor's cooking their wares. finding a bench infront of a thicket of trees Gilbert sat down and surveyed the park around him, taking note of the couples walking hand in hand, the over flowing trash can near by, a solitary woman walking her dog and the ice rink directly infront of him. The brilliantly lit Ice Rink shone like a beacon in the twilight. Gilbert watched the crowd of people circling the ice with a soft smile on his face, thinking that maybe one day he should take Ludwig, try to get him to relax a little even though he himself couldn't skate.
As Gilberts eyes scanned through the swarm of people Gilbert's gaze fell upon a singular skater that had broken away from the others. watching the blond skater twist and turn his body Gilbert became focused upon this young man. Facinated by the movements that he did, Gilbert's crimson eyes fell upon the violet shade of the skater's. Even if only for a fleeting second their eyes met and for Gilbert that second seemed to pass in slow motion. With a swift blink, the skater had disappeared. With his focus broken Gilbert quickly scanned back through the crowd of people orbiting the rink for the skater, but to no avail.
Sighing to himself Gilbert accepted that he would never see the skater again. Feeling the chill slowly invade his body heat Gilbert decided to move on. Standing and placing his hands in his pockets, Gilbert caught a whiff of a street vendor's stall, it made his mouth water. The salivation in Gilbert's mouth gave him the instant decision that a hot drink and something sweet would be just the thing to distract him from the blond, and ultimately Fritz.
Once at the vendor's stall Gilbert ordered a hot chocolate and a cinammon bun. Once he had payed for his items Gilbert placed the cinammon bun in his mouth, held the hot chocolate with one hand and fumbled to place his wallet back in a pocket with the other. Turning from the vendor Gilbert had not seen the man stood behind him and walked straight into him. This caused Gilbert to drop his cinammon bun and spill his hot chocolate. Apologising fervently Gilbert looked up to the person he had just emptied his cup all over, to be met with a familiar pair of eyes that belonged to a blond stranger who carried a pair of skates around his neck.
Gilbert blinked back in surprise as the Blond started to speak. "Please dont apologise, it was my fault you had no idea that I was standing behind you, I should have moved or cleared my thoat or something. I am sorry."
Gilbert stood infront of him with his mouth agape a little before regaining his composure " No I'm sorry, I should have looked where I was going, and I'm also very sorry about your jacket" Gilbert said offering the skater a napkin to help dab some of the chocolate away from his coat before it stained. The skater took the napkin and wiped some of the chocolate away before returning his gaze to Gilbert's. "Since you have no beverage or food now, please let me buy you replacements for them" The skater said with out an answer from Gilbert he moved to the stall and purchased replacements and another hot chocolate for himself.
The blond man led gilbert back to the bench he had previously been sat at and beckoned him to sit down. Gilbert sat and took the refreshments that he was being handed and watched as the blond man with the violet eyes removed the skates from around his neck and placed them on the ground. "Thank you, for buying these, you didnt have to, especially since I ruined your coat. And I'm sorry, I didnt get your name." Gilbert Said holding out a hand for the other man to take.
"Oh! I'm Tino, Tino Väinämöinen. I noticed you sat here earlier." Tino replied taking Gilbert's hand and giving it a light shake. Smiling back at Tino, Gilbert introduced himself " I'm Gilbert, Gilbert Beilschmidt"
Gilbert took another sip of the Hot chocolate, and realised that Tino had said he had noticed him sitting here before. "Oh, you... Seen me?" Gilbert asked. Tino nodded and replied "Oh yes, I saw you when I was on the ice, but when I came off to talk to you, you had dissapeared. So I decided to get a hot chocolate, and here you are." Tino cocked his head to the side and smiled. "Fate has mysterious ways of working, dont you think?" Gilbert was never sure about things such as fate or destiny. "Uh, I'm not sure, I dont really like to think about stuff like that." Gilbert confessed. "Wait you were going to come and talk to me?"
"Yeah, I saw you sat here on your own, and you looked kinda sad. I was going to ask if you wanted to join me on the ice." Tino said with a smile. Gilbert was surprised by the friendliness of the blond, not many people had the confidence to speak to a complete stranger.
"You must think me strange, for wanting to ask a prefect stranger to come skating with me. But this isnt the first time I've seen you. I've been coming here for years, and every year I see you through the park, always around the same date and you always look so sad. I made a promise to myself that this year if I saw you I would do something to cheer you up." Tino told Gilbert "And its something I fully intend to do!"
"You dont have to do that Tino. Honestly, I'm ok."Gilbert said not wanting to cause a bother to someone who he had just met, his mood would only bring things down for him.
"I wont have it any other way, if you wont let me cheer you up, you can at least talk with me for a while yes?"Tino asked.
Gilbert sighed into his scarf and closed his eyes for a second. He supposed having someone to talk to wouldn't be so bad. "Sure, we can talk, I have nothing better to do"
Smiling gleefully Tino moved a little closer to Gilbert, holding his own hot chocolate closer feeling the warmth of the sweet liquid seep into his hands. "So tell me about yourself." Tino asked as his legs brushed up against the white haired mans. Noticing the legs against his own Gilbert shifted his gaze slightly but began to answer Tino's question. "Well, Im a writer."
"A writer? like novels or journalism?" Tino asked, he seemed to be genuinely interested. Gilbert started to nod and replied "Novels, I have done a little bit of journalism but novels are where my true passion is" Tino looked up at Gilbert with a smile and said "I'm glad your doing something you love."
"I used to love it, now, with my agent and publishers on my back every waking minute, it's more... like a chore" Gilbert said with a frown settling on his brow. Tino noticed the frown settling on Gilberts face and quickly changed the subject, this wasn't how he wanted this chat to go. Happiness, thats what he wanted.
Tino stood up and took one of Gilbert's hands smiled "Lets walk for a bit. We will get cold if we sit here any longer." Gilbert looked at his hand, his pale fingers cradled Tino's. Tino's had fingerless gloves on and were warmer than Gilbert's own, something he took note of when the skin of his fingers brushed against the exposed skin of Tino's. It took a second for Gilbert to register that Tino was beckoning him up from the bench. Gilbert started to rise and said"Oh! a walk, sure."
Once they had walked a little way from the bench Gilbert decided he wanted to know more about Tino, the blond ice skating stranger. "So you like to skate?" Gilbert asked Tino, in a bid to find out a little more about the man that had first captivated him on the ice. Tino nodded "I love it more than anything in the world. I have been skating since I was little. It's a hobby though, I work in accounts, now that I don't love"
"So you skate on your days off?" Gilbert asked wondering when Tino found the time to pursue the hobby that had made Gilbert interested in the first place. "Yeah, but I play for the local hockey team too, so I skate when they have practice too." Tino said with a gleeful smile across his face. Gilbert was astounded, he never imagined that Tino would play hockey, he seemed so... gentle. "Hockey? I've never watched a hockey match." Gilbert confessed to the blond man. Tino stopped walking and turned to Gilbert. Only when Tino stopped Gilbert realised that they had still been holding hands. He quickly let go and turned to face Tino, who had a slightly shocked expression on his face.
"I will get you some tickets for my next game, It's this weekend. I'm not taking no for an answer. You will come and watch the beautiful sport that is hockey." Tino said rather mater of factly. Gilbert blinked and nodded at Tino's statement. Once he thought about it, maybe going to the match wouldn't be such a bad idea, he would get to see Tino again for sure, and get to see him skate again. Tino smiled and took Gilbert's hand again, swinging it softly as they started to walk.
Tino's mind took a new turn and suddenly, he wanted to know why he had seen the albino man in the park at the same time every year, with thoughts of reasons going through his head he decided that the only way to find out was to ask.
After a comfortable silence between the pair the both began to speak at the same time. Looking up at each other the pair locked eyes and stare at each other for a few seconds before noticing each other's slight blush for embarrasment. The two men looked away from each other. Gilbert cleared his throat and said "Uh, you go first" Still avoiding eye contact but stealing glimpses of his hand in the others.
Tino tried not to stutter his words as he looked away from Gilbert. "I was wondering. Why? Why every year do I see you here?" Gilbert snapped his head up to meet Tino's gaze. "It's ... kinda... well... " Gilbert stumbled over his words unsure of how to explain things. He didn't want to turn the mood sour, Gilbert was actually enjoying himself with Tino. Releasing the blond's hand Gilbert took a few steps away from Tino.
"I come here to get away from the atmosphere at home. This date is a hard one for me. The man that taught me everything I know, The man i loved dearly died. On this date eight years ago. Everyone at home treats me as though in made of glass, I'm NOT." Gilbert's innermost thoughts couldn't help but be released. Tino stood back, a little shocked at Gilberts volume and instantly regretting that he asked, Gilbert was obviously out here to avoid this exact thing.
"Oh Gilbert. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked I-" Gilbert cut Tino off "No its fine, you weren't to know. And it feels good to get that out. Now, I have a question for you."
Tino gave a weak smile and nodded "Sure ask me anything." Gilbert took a deep breath and spoke "Can you teach me to skate? I saw how you skate... It's beautiful" Gilbert looked away with a slight blush. Hoping that Fritz was looking down on him with a smile, Gilbert found him self wanting to be around Tino more.
Tino grinned wide and screamed internally. He was more than happy to teach Gilbert how to skate, Tino found him self looking at Gilbert in a different light. "Of course I will! It would be a pleasure!" Grabbing Gilbert's hand Tino sped off guiding Gilbert to the ice rink. At the side of the rink Tino sat down and put his Skates on and waited for Gilbert to get a pair of rental skates. Tino giggled as he watched Gilbert waddle along the walk way on his skates. Tino let out a contented sigh as he stepped onto the ice, and then held his hands out for Gilbert who was the personified version of Bambi on ice!
Gilbert gripped the side of the Ice Rink with both hands as he stood out on to the ice. Tino laughed a little at the sight of Gilbert gripping on to the sides as if the floor was about to give way. Skating over to Gilbert Tino took both of Gilbert's hands in his own and skated backwards from the side, leading Gilbert away from the boards. "Just relax, you are more likely to fall if you are tensed" Tino informed Gilbert.
Gilbert's legs were like the ice that they were resting upon. Solid. Tino tried his best to help him relax, by giving soft words of encouragement, and when he thought Gilbert was doing particularly well he would release one of his hands. After an hour and ahalf of trying Tino had managed to get Gilbert skating on his own, albeit in circles around the rink, but it was a start. Gilbert watched as Tino skated away and into the middle of the rink, making impressive twists and speeding up only to turn a curve sharply. Watching the tiny ice particles dance around the air after every sharp turn, catching the light, it made Tino seem like he was dazzling. Gilbert was mesmerised by Tino, and the skating of course.
It was starting to get late and Gilbert managed to stiffly skate his way out to Tino in the centre of the rink. "Tino?" Gilbert interupted the blonde's skating flow "Maybe we should get off here and grab a coffee? It's starting to get a little late." Tino nodded, not really realising how late it had actually become. Taking Gilbert's hand Tino skated them both back to the entrance. Once Gilbert's rental skates were put back, and Tino's were put in a shoulder bag, the pair walked back to the vendor that they purchased refereshments from earlier. Gilbert bought them both a coffee and took Tino's hand himself and started to walk through the dimly lit park.
Silently walking hand in hand, sipping hot coffee, looking out into the night. Gilbert sighed into the coffee cup, realising that one of them would probably have to leave soon. Gilbert found himself feeling upset at the thought. Tino suddenly became aware that Gilberts mood had dropped. "What's wrong Gilbert?" Tino asked as he looked up at Gilbert's crimson eyes.
"Oh, its.. it's nothing." Gilbert said shaking his head. How could Gilbert tell someone who he had virtually just met, that he wanted to see him again. They walked over to a quiet section of the gardens in the park, near a fountain and a bandstand. As they sat on a bench Tino asked again "What's wrong Gilbert, you say it's nothing, but I can tell by your eyes. They aren't happy" Gilbert sighed and accepted that he couldn't avoid the question again. "I've enjoyed myself today Tino. I really have. But, we will go back to our lives after this. I'm not going to see you again" Gilbert said. Tino looked downcast "But, I thought you wanted to come and watch a hockey match. I was serious, I want you to come."
"You were? That's good. I-I'd really like to see you again."Gilbert admited. Tino smiled to himself upon hearing Gilbert wanting to see him again. Tino flushed as he leaned to reach out to touch Gilbert's hand. "I'd like that too" Tino said looking directly at Gilbert, trying to show him that he was genuine. Gilbert didn't know what had come over him, he rarely spoke to strangers like this, though he didnt want Tino to be a stranger. Gilbert looked softly over Tino's face, taking in the bright eyes, the curve of his cheeks flushed with cold or something a little more, the swell of his soft pout. Gilbert found his eyes lingering on Tino's lips, blushing a little he quickly looked down for fear that Tino had seen. Gilbert's mind swarmed with many thoughts, flitting between thoughts of Tino's lips on his own and feeling guilty for thinking about someone else on this day. Gilbert hadn't felt this way about another person in a long time, it brought back memories of a happier time in his life, it made him wonder if he could have that again. A second chance of happiness.
Gilbert brought his hand up to Tino's soft flushed cheeks. "Are you cold?" Tino flushed harder as he felt the icy hands upon his warm skin, his cheeks were flushed, but not from cold. "I-I.. a little maybe" Tino said. Gilbert made a decison, he shifted his position so that he was closer to the blond. He put an arm around Tino's shoulders "So am I... a little." Gilbert said, although he did feel the cold, the heat coursing through his body made the cold nothing on his skin.
"C-Can I see you tomorrow?" Tino croaked out as Gilbert's arm snaked around his shoulders. "Yeah, of course, I'd love to." Gilbert said squeezing Tino's shoulders gently. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each feeling the warmth of each other, each pondering what the other though about themselves. Tino suddenly turned to face Gilbert and put his arms around his waist, pulling him closer to hug him. Gilbert however, thought that this gesture was something else, as he was pulled in by Tino he leaned down into Tino, about to kiss him. Once Tino noticed what Gilbert was doing he hesitated. Gilbert paused at the hesitation and suddenly felt a deep embarassment. "I, I'm sorry. I thought... I.. Sorry I really ..." Gilbert stammered. Tino quickly put a finger to the albino's lips and hushed him. "Shh. There's no need to apologise, you thought right actually. I just... I was trying to pluck up the courage to do it myself." Tino looked away a little with slight embarassment, but his finger lingered on Gilbert's lips.
Upon hearing Tino's confession, Gilbert placed a soft kiss on Tino's finger. Feeling Gilbert's lips move against his digit Tino's heart lurched a little. For the years that he had watched the albino man come to the park every winter, for years he had admired him from afar wondering what it would be like to be close to him. Finaly Tino could find out for himself. Instinctively Tino cupped Gilbert's face and leaned his forehead against Gilbert's. Taking a deep breath Gilbert's heart raced, he was about to find out if feeling this way about Tino could lead to something more. Looking into eachother's eyes, studying every little flickering eye movement, waiting for the other to signal that this was what they wanted.
Gilbert still fought an internal battle "Could I feel like this, should I feel like this, I cant feel like this, not today, why today? but I am, I deserve to be happy, I need to let the past go, Fritz would want me to be happy." Upon thinking that last thought Gilbert was sure, he was sure that Fritz would want him to be happy, and Gilbert wanted to be happy with Tino. Feeling this revelation Gilbert moved his hands to the back of Tino's neck and brought his face forward, softly pressing his lips against the Finn's.
Feeling the pressure of Gilbert's lips against his own Tino pressed back, feeling hungry for the taste of Gilbert. Parting his lips and moving them slightly encouraging Gilbert to do the same. Crushing their lips together Gilbert sliped his tongue over Tino's bottom lip and deepend the kiss. As the two locked in their passionate embrace snow started to fall lightly around them. Feeling the light flakes hit his face Gilbert opened his eyes, still kissing Tino, and looked as the small intricate flakes landed on his eyelashes. Gilbert looked up and saw the glittering snow falling around them and smiled into Tino's kiss. Closing his eyes and relaxing fully against Tino. Pulling Tino closer feeling the silken skin of his cheeks brush against his own Gilbert realised "I can be happy."
As they pulled away from each other, both panting slightly from lack of air. They sat and held each other for what felt like an age, both not willing or ready to let the other go. Eventually the time caught up with them and they had to part. Gilbert walked Tino to his apartment, holding hands as the snow became thicker. They shared another slow but deep and passionate kiss on the door step to Tino's place, with promises of tomorrow. Walking back through the park to get home Gilbert had a soft smile on his face. Passing by the Ice Rink that was now closed up for the night, Gilbert looked over at it then turned his face skyward as he sent a silent thanks to Fritz. "Thank you, for letting me learn to love again." He carried on home, walking as if he was lighter than air. Walking through the front door he smiled at his younger brother and hugged him slightly, leaving Ludwig confused as Gilbert almost floated up to his bedroom. Once in his bed he began falling asleep with the image of Tino in his mind and a smile on his face, waiting for tomorrow.