Disclaimers: I own SQUAT.
No, seriously, I own a goblin named Squat...
I do not, however, own BtVS, PoTo, the Labyrinth, DW, or (and thank goodness for that) Twilight.
A/N: I was on Skype with a friend and this just sort of... happened. Enjoy. :)
Erik slunk through the dimming light shining through the slender trees. The quiet foreboding cut into his very soul,making him smile with horrid cruelty. His skilled hand stroked the length of his Punjab Lasso poised and ready.
There.
There it was.
With the speed of lightening, he threw the lasso with incomprehensible precision, right on the glittering brown eyes of the scum of the world, the vermin of society, the runt of all.
Edward, the Hardly Vampire.
Buffy smiled cruelly, a match lit in her hand. She grabbed her sythe from her bag, eyes never leaving the tangled vampire. She watched as his nails scratched at the rope about his throat, and she nodded approval at the cackling Erik. Edward began scraping the skin off his neck in an attempt to escape, but they all knew it was futile.
Buffy ran the scythe across his chest, marking an X on that glittery skin, blood dripping from the deep wound.
"NO-ONE SPARKLES BUT JARETH!" she snarled, pulling an arm off with a sharp tug.
He howled in pain, nonexistent tears clouding his eyes.
The Goblin King joined the fray, mismatched eyes narrowing cruelly.
"She's right, you know," his deep baritone echoed indifference to the vampire's pain. "Only I can pull off that look."
He snapped his slender, gloved fingers, and the scum began vomiting rainbows and sparkles, sputtering pathetically.
"Please, continue, Buffy."
She nodded and and looked at the match in her hand. She set fire to his left foot.
The air smelled like vanilla.
All three grimaced.
They knew they would hated that smell for the rest of eternity.
Edward crumpled to the ground, the last thing he saw was a petite, ferocious blonde, a masked genius, and an incredibly handsome and toned Goblin King with a cruel, cold smile at his face.
The tenth Doctor looked on with apathy.
"Right then, time to get that Bella girl. What fun that'll be, eh?"