Warning: Season 6, episode 1 spoilers!!! If you haven't seen it and don't want to know, don't read this!
Here's a one shot that was inspired by the first episode this season. Not sure how many people will be interested but when my muse tells me to write, I write! If you happen to read, please review and let me know if you think it's good or bad. It just takes a second and you can't imagine how much I appreciate it.
As always, 24 characters are not my own. If they were, a lot more of them from seasons past would still be alive and Kim would have been traded to the Chinese in exchange for her father, but that's just my opinion!
I Miss You
Day 6
6:19 am Los Angeles (9:19 am Washington D.C.)
Karen Hayes was just outside of the Oval Office when her phone rang. One glance at the caller ID told her that it was a long awaited call from Bill Buchanan. He was calling to tell her that he had just picked up Jack Bauer at the air strip. Those were words she was waiting for, but on a more personal level, Karen needed to hear Bill's voice. In the eleven weeks since the terrorist attacks started, she hadn't seen him once, not once. They had been 3000 miles apart and both working nearly continuously; there simply hadn't been time for a quick weekend trip. This wasn't what she had bargained for when she agreed to be Wayne Palmer's National Security Advisor.
The conversation was brief. Bill had Jack and Jack was in worse condition than Bill had anticipated. Karen could hear the pain in Bill's voice and she was surprised at how much it hurt her. To have him in pain and not be able to reach out to him hurt more than she could have imagined. Bill said all of the right things; when Karen told him that she wished she was with him, he said that she was where she needed to be. It was the coolness of his tone that told her all she needed to know. He had encouraged her to take the job in Washington, but like Karen herself, Bill had no idea that they wouldn't see each other for months on end and now that they had a taste of it, Bill found it a taste too bitter for his liking. He softened a bit when he told her that he missed her too, but the conversation still left her feeling cold.
Karen looked down at her wedding band and adjusted the stone on her engagement ring remembering how Bill had put them on her hand a mere two months after they started dating. Her whole life had changed in the last twenty months and, until the last three months, she had been so incredibly happy.
Their courtship had been a whirlwind and Karen didn't regret a minute of it. It started so innocently when Bill asked her to go out for breakfast after the worst 24 hours of her life. Despite the fact that she had been sent to CTU with an ultimate goal of replacing Bill Buchanan, at some point during the night she found herself inexplicably drawn to him. How could she not? He was handsome and smart but compassionate and caring. His breakfast invitation had been unexpected but certainly not unwelcome. She wished that she could go but a meeting at Division forced her to ask for a rain check which Bill generously granted. As things turned out, just minutes after Karen left for Division, news of Jack's kidnapping reached CTU. She received a call to return to CTU to help out. It was nearly 9 o'clock that evening before she and Bill left the building. Each went home alone that night somewhere beyond exhausted but neither slept well. In less than 12 hours they were both back at CTU working side by side. The rest of the week brought more of the same: 16 hour days, a few hours of fitful sleep and back to CTU again. There was just so much to do there. Not only were they mopping up from the terrorist attack, but they were looking for any means to get Jack returned to the US, a task that Bill went after with a vengeance. On top of it all, President Gardner still wanted to roll CTU into Homeland Security and remove Bill as Director. The meeting to decide the fate of CTU and its Director was scheduled for Friday afternoon. Karen would be part of the conference call but Bill had not been invited to speak on his own behalf.
When Karen sat down for the conference call that afternoon, she knew she had an uphill fight on her hands. President Gardner's mind was made up. He saw CTU as virtually a rogue agency that the CIA was allowing too much liberty. Long before he became president he had expressed his desire to have CTU as a part of Homeland Security where it could be better controlled. Logan had given little thought to the idea. He generally liked the status quo. Now that Gardner had the ability to make the changes he saw as desirable, it was going to be difficult to sway him. As the conference all progressed, Karen was surprised to find that the new president was to listen as she presented the case to leave CTU as a part of the CIA and to leave Bill Buchanan as its Director. He didn't agree with all of her points, but did agree with some and by the time the call ended at 4:00 in LA, he assured her that he would take it under consideration and get back to her in an hour.
That hour seemed longer than most and Karen wasn't sure why. It would be a feather in her professional cap if, under her direction, Homeland Security swallowed CTU whole. It would be a lot of work for her, but it would definitely look good on her resume and, frankly, resume building had been Karen's goal for her entire adult life. But absorbing CTU into Homeland would also mean the she would have to fire Bill and the thought of that disturbed her. If she did have to fire him, Bill would land on his feet. The Bill Buchanans of the world always did. With his experience, there would be dozens of jobs open to him and some in the private sector would allow him to double or possibly triple his government salary. That wasn't the point. What Karen had learned in the last few days was that Bill loved CTU. He believed in the work they did and he loved the people, quirky though some of them were. Rarely did you come across someone who loved his job so fully. The thought of taking that away from Bill touched a nerve in her heart that she didn't even realize was there.
The call from Mike Novick a little over an hour later brought an enormous smile and a sigh of relief. President Gardner had decided to leave CTU as it was. He would impose some stricter controls, such as reporting schedules and protocol reviews, on them, but he would otherwise allow the agency to operate unchanged. Karen maintained a professional affect as she spoke to the President's Chief of Staff, but the second she got off the phone she turned into a giddy schoolgirl. She couldn't wait to tell Bill. She started to dial his number and then stopped. She couldn't tell him over the phone! She had to tell him so that she could see his reaction in person. The feeling was overwhelming. She knew that it made no sense at all. She really should call him and tell him right away so that he could stop worrying, but somehow, that wasn't good enough. Karen wanted to tell him in person. The decision was made. She would head over to CTU and deliver the news.
"Jessie," she called to her secretary as she put on her suit jacket. "Would you do me a favor? Call over to CTU and tell Bill Buchanan that I'm on my way over. I'll be there in about 20 minutes."
Karen arrived at CTU right on schedule barely able to contain her excitement as she cleared security. She crossed the bullpen quickly with the eyes of many following her. Everyone knew that the future of their agency was being decided and most viewed Karen Hayes as the enemy. What she hadn't realized was that at that moment, their Director felt the same way. It had never occurred to her that Bill would interpret her silence that afternoon and the phone call from her secretary that she was on her way to CTU as an indication that he was being removed as Director. In short, he assumed that Karen was there to escort him out.
Karen trotted confidently up the stairs to Bill's office and knocked sharply on the door. She was surprised by the muted, barely audible "Come in" that she heard in reply. She opened the door and found Bill standing behind his desk packing personal items into a box. His back was turned as he took a framed citation from the wall. Karen was confused as he glanced at her with sad eyes and set the citation in the box.
"These are all personal items. You can check them if you like," he said quietly.
"What are you doing?" Karen asked still not understanding.
"What does it look like? I'm cleaning out my office. I don't want to drag this out any longer than I have to. If you want to have the rest of it boxed and sent to me, that would be fine," he said as he reached for his coat.
"Bill, did you think I was here to fire you?"
"You don't make a special trip to tell someone that they're doing a great job, Karen," he pointed out.
"Oh, Bill, I'm sorry!" Karen exclaimed suddenly realizing how it all looked. "I'm not here to fire you. President Gardner wants you to continue as Director and CTU will remain under the CIA's direction. I just wanted to tell you in person. I knew how happy you'd be and I wanted to see your reaction. I never meant for you to think I was coming to fire you. I'm so sorry," she told him sincerely.
"So, I'm not out?" Bill asked trying to process the information.
"Not at all. President Gardner was so impressed when I presented him with all of the data. He laid down a few ground rules that I think are reasonable, but other than that he wants everything to continue as is. Congratulations!"
Bill stepped from behind the desk and walked toward her. "So this is for real?" he asked again. "I get to stay, right?"
"Absolutely," she said smiling broadly.
Bill finally broke into a smile and wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know how you did it and I don't know how to thank you, Karen,"
"You still owe me breakfast," she reminded him. She was surprised by the hug, but not at all surprised by how much she enjoyed it.
"I owe you more than breakfast!" Bill said as he looked at his watch. "It's almost 6 o'clock. Why don't we go get some dinner?"
Karen smiled. "I'd love to, Bill, but every place is going to be crowded on Friday evening. I'm just not in the mood for a crowd."
"I know the perfect place," Bill persisted. "Maybe you've been there. It's a jazz club called 'Zack and Charlie's'."
"I know where that is. It's not far from my house. Is the food good?"
"They have incredible steaks and seafood. On Fridays they have live jazz starting around 10 o'clock so the crowd doesn't really pick up until then. We can have dinner and be gone before it really gets crowded."
"You're right, that sounds perfect," Karen agreed with a smile.
With that the decision was made. They agreed to meet at the restaurant at 7:30. For Karen, that gave her time to go home and freshen up before dinner. While it gave Bill time to meet with his staff and deliver the good news to them.
Karen headed home happy with the prospect of not having to spend the evening alone. Being alone had never bothered her, but since the terrorist attack she found that she suddenly hated being alone. Not that she had had much time to be alone. She had been working 15 or 16 hour days and then going home and dropping into bed in total exhaustion. But despite that exhaustion she had hardly been sleeping at all. She spent the nights tossing and turning with the images of the attack playing out like a movie on the insides of her eye lids. When she finally did fall asleep, she was inevitably shaken from sleep by a nightmare. Maybe a good dinner and a couple of drinks would make sleep come more easily.
She checked the time as she walked into her condominium and knew that she didn't have a lot of time to spare. There was time for a quick shower and fresh make up but she wouldn't have time to both dry her hair and put it back up. That's okay, she thought. Wearing her hair down was more casual and she wanted to be casual for a change. She was sick of being professional all of the time. At least that was what she tried to tell herself, but she knew the truth. She knew that she wanted to look softer and more casual for Bill. Again, she couldn't decide why she was so drawn to him. She tried hard not to be. Her mother had taught her as a child never to become dependent on a man and she had followed that advice for her entire life. But Bill… Bill was different.
Karen pushed the thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on getting to the restaurant on time. She looked in the mirror as she left her condo and she liked what she saw. Her make up was a little more dramatic than she would have worn to work and her hair hung softly around her jaw line. She had changed into a pair of black slacks and topped them with a black camisole and a jacket that reminded her of an explosion of color. It was less conservative than most of her clothes having a fuchsia background and lots of other color fibers mixed in. She had exchanged her sensible work shoes for a pair of strappy heels that would bring her closer to Bill's height.
By the time she got to the restaurant, Bill was already seated at an out of the way booth near the back of the restaurant drinking a gin and tonic. He stood as she approached the table and she could tell by his smile that he was not only glad to see her but that he liked the transformation that had taken place since she left CTU. She wouldn't have said that he stared, but he certainly gave her a long look.
"You made it," he said somewhat awkwardly.
"What? You didn't think I'd come?" she returned almost coyly. Part of her couldn't believe she was playing this game. It really wasn't like her.
"You look great, Karen. I like your hair that way. You should wear it down more often."
"Thank you," she said now a little embarrassed. "I see you went home and changed, too," she commented as she noted that he had traded his shirt, tie and jacket in for a mock turtleneck and a deep plum pullover sweater. It wasn't lost on her that the plum in the sweater accentuated his blue eyes and made his prematurely gray hair even more distinguished than usual. She liked his more casual look as well.
"I didn't make it home. I always have a change of clothes in my office. You never know when you're going to get stuck there over night," he said with the hint of sarcasm. He flagged down a waiter. "What would you like to drink?" he asked Karen as the waiter approached.
Karen reached for the wine list and glanced down it. "I'll have a glass of the pinot grigio," she told the waiter.
"Why don't you just bring us a bottle and two glasses," Bill told the waiter.
"Bill, I'll be under the table if I drink half a bottle of wine!" Karen laughed. Her tone quickly became more serious. "Actually, it's probably what I need. Maybe I'll sleep tonight."
"You're having trouble sleeping, too?" Bill asked. "I thought it was just me. I try to sleep at night and I'm so tense I can't get any rest."
"Maybe it's good that we both left our offices early. We need some time away."
Just about then the waiter brought the wine, allowed them to taste it and then poured two glasses before he placed the bottle in an ice bucket and walked away. Bill raised his glass and Karen followed suit.
"To evenings away from work and a good night's sleep," he offered.
"Here, here," Karen agreed as she allowed the rim of her glass to graze the side of his.
By the time the jazz group was setting up and the crowd was beginning to thicken, Bill and Karen had finished eating and the bottle of wine was nearly gone. Until that time the restaurant had been relatively quiet allowing the two to talk through the meal. The talk centered around work with care being taken not to discuss any classified information.
Bill frowned as the noise level started rising. "I was really hoping for some coffee and dessert, but not if we have to talk over the crowd," he commented.
"There's a little bakery and coffee shop not to far from here," Karen suggested. "We could get coffee there."
Bill was in agreement and the two headed out of the restaurant to walk the half block to the coffee shop. As they walked outside, Karen shivered involuntarily and slipped her hands into her pockets. "I didn't realize that it was going to get this cold tonight or I would have worn a coat."
Wordlessly, Bill slipped an arm around her waist and drew her against his body. Neither spoke for a moment. Karen was the first to break the silence. "Thanks for dinner, Bill. It was wonderful. I've really enjoyed this evening."
Bill hadn't yet had a chance to answer her when they reached the coffee shop. One glance in the big front windows and they both groaned. Like most establishments on a Friday evening, this one was full. All of the tables were in use and still more people were crowded around the counter. Karen and Bill looked at each other and laughed.
"You didn't really need that coffee did you?" she asked him.
"Not that badly," he returned.
They turned and started back toward their cars when Bill spoke again. "Karen, if all we want is coffee and some place to sit and talk, my house is only a few blocks from here. We can pick up some dessert at the counter here and I can put on a pot of coffee."
"That sounds nice," Karen agreed. "I wasn't quite ready to go home."
"Then it's settled. Let's go in and decide what we want. Then you can follow me back to my place."
Ten minutes later they pulled up in front of Bill's house. It was a small brick rancher set on about a quarter acre of land. Karen immediately noticed how well it was kept. The lawn was neat and the landscaping simple but well tended. Bill opened the door and Karen stepped in.
"May yourself at home," he told her. "I'll put on the coffee and cut the cake."
Karen stepped into the living room again taking note of how neat and well decorated the place was. It definitely belonged to a man with dark leather furnishings and a dark oriental rug. Book shelves were filled with books about war history and military leaders.
"The place is beautiful, Bill. Do you do your own decorating?"
Bill laughed. "Not at all! I only paid the bills. My mother was a very talented decorator. She made my house her pet project. She was always looking for interesting pieces. She deserves all of the credit."
Karen noted the almost wistful look in Bill's eyes.
"You speak of her in the past," she commented.
"She died a few months ago," he returned. He was cutting the cake and putting it on plates. He didn't look up as he spoke.
"Bill, I'm sorry. Do you have other family?"
"My dad and two brothers," he said lightening up a bit. "My dad lives in Manhattan with my older brother Frank. Frank works on Wall Street. He's a bit of a workaholic. He's managed to 'work' himself out of two marriages. After the second divorce he decided to give marriage up as a bad idea. It actually works out well; he and Dad share an apartment. Dad could live alone, but since Mom died it's probably better that he doesn't."
Bill poured two cups of coffee and handed one to Karen.
"Thanks," she said as she added cream to the coffee. "How about your other brother?"
"Paul is a two years younger than me. He lives in Texas. He's a professor at a law school there and has a small law practice on the side. He's got five kids so he needs the extra income." Bill stopped to sip his coffee. "Let's sit down," he said as he directed her into the family room. "How about you? Any family?"
"Not really. My mother died several years ago. She raised me. My father left when I was two. He was a pretty good provider, I mean, he always paid his child support, but he wasn't good about sticking around once a baby was born. As a consequence, I have four younger half-siblings that all have different mothers. He had a good job and he supported all of us, he just was never there for us. He's still alive but I don't have any contact with him." Karen stopped and took a drink from her coffee. She stared pensively into the cup for a moment trying to decide whether she should let the subject drop or go on. Something made her decide to go on. "My mother was always just a little bit bitter. Almost 40 years after he left her and she was still angry when she died. It was kind of sad, really. She was never able to move forward with her life. As a result, she taught me to be self sufficient. She warned me never to become dependent on a man because you never knew when he was going to up and walk away. She would say, 'Karen, there's always someone younger and prettier to take your place. Don't ever think that he can't live without you so you make damn sure that you can live without him.'" Karen smiled and let out a soft laugh at the memory. "She was a bit of a character."
"It sounds to me like she loved you and just wanted you to learn from her experience."
"Maybe so," Karen agreed. She settled back into a deep sectional sofa. Suddenly feeling very comfortable, which she suspected was a result of a half bottle of wine; she reached down to open the straps on her sandals. "Do you mind?" she asked Bill as she took the shoes off.
"Not at all," Bill replied.
Karen took off her shoes and pulled her feet up underneath her. "Anyway," she continued. "Whatever my mother's plan was, it worked. I've spent the last 20 plus years trying to claw my way to the top professionally. When I started at the FBI it was a men's only club. Women were secretaries and low level agents. That was a difficult climate to grow in, but I worked hard and I made it." She shrugged slightly and smiled. "I'm not sure what the point was though. I've spent so many hours working that I destroyed my marriage and don't have time for make and cultivate friendships. Maybe Mom pushed me just a little too hard." She stopped for a moment and shook her head. "Bill, I'm sorry. It's the wine talking. I sound cold and bitter and I'm neither. I chose a lifestyle years ago and I'm not unhappy with it. If I had wanted to change or to save my marriage, I could have done it, but I opted not to."
"We all make choices in life. You look at your options and decide what's best for you. Sometimes you're right and sometimes you're not, but there's no point in going back and second guessing yourself. You did the best you could with what you had at the time. Nobody can ask for more than that from you," Bill said kindly.
"Thank you for listening while I'm rambling," Karen said as Bill refilled her coffee and took the empty dessert plate to the kitchen. "Let's not talk about me anymore. I want to hear more about you."
Bill returned to the sofa. "There's nothing to tell really," he said shaking his head. "I guess I'm a lot like you, but for different reasons. I grew up with two parents who worked hard and had high expectations for their children. I guess some kids would have been put off by that, but all three of us took it as a kind of a challenge. As a result, we all have a tendency to work too many hours. Paul's the only one who's learned how to control it. His personal life is very successful. Frank and I have never learned the secret."
"So you've never been married?"
Bill shook his head. "Engaged once, but we never made it to the altar."
"What kept you from taking the plunge, if you don't mind my asking?"
He shrugged. "I'm not completely sure, to be honest. We had dated our last year and a half in college and got engaged shortly before we graduated. Liz was an art history major and she'd already been accepted into graduate school in New York City. I was able to get a position with CTU there. We got an apartment together and the first couple of years went fine. I was busy with work and Liz was busy working on her doctorate full time and working at a museum part time to help with rent and food. Neither of us was home very much. The problems started after she graduated and took a full time job with the museum. She was working a pretty regular work week while I was putting in my usual 50 plus hours every week. That was when things started to break down, but the straw that broke the camel's back happened one night when the President was in New York to give a speech. You know what security is like for that. We were juggling protocols and arguing with Secret Service. Typical stuff. About 9 o'clock, just as the President was starting his speech, Liz called me at work. She was crying. She had been mugged walking home from work. She wasn't really hurt, mostly just shaken up, but she wanted me to come home. And more than anything, I wanted to go. I wanted to be at home with her and try and comfort her, but I knew that I couldn't. I just couldn't leave my post. It broke my heart to tell her that I'd be home as soon as I could, but that it probably would be several hours. When I got home, she was in bed with her back to the bedroom door. She was still crying and when I tried to hold her she told me to get away. She apologized the next morning, but I decided that I wasn't going to put her through a lifetime of the same. I was afraid that every time we had some small crisis in our lives that I would have to tell her to deal with it herself and that I would get home when national security allowed. I couldn't keep hurting her that way. At the same time, my brother Frank was going through his first divorce and I saw what a mess that was and how painful it was for everyone involved and I decided to break off the engagement."
"How did your fiancé feel about that?"
"The truth is that I think she was almost relieved. She wouldn't say it at the time, but we ran into each other a couple of years later and she pretty much said that she had become worried that a marriage was destined to failure. So I guess I made the right decision."
"Believe me, you did. You're right the whole divorce process is just painful. I had my doubts before I got married and I wish I would have listened to them. Instead, I ignored them and ended up a statistic," Karen said sarcastically. Then she smiled. "There I go again sounding bitter. I swear that I'm not and I hate it that I'm coming off this way. Let's change the subject. What do you do for fun?"
Bill smiled back. "You mean in my excessive amount of spare time?"
"Yeah," she laughed. "In all that spare time you have that you have chosen not to use in a relationship!"
"I play some tennis," he started.
"Really? So do I. We should get together and play some time. I'll warn you, I'm terrible."
The lighter conversation continued with both Bill and Karen quite obviously relaxing as they talked about a variety of topics from hobbies to movies and books and travel. Bill's imitation of Chloe left Karen breathless and teary eyed with laughter.
"Oh, Bill," she said as she tried to get her breath and wiped tears from her eyes. "That was wonderful! I'll never be able to look at Chloe with a straight face again." It was then that she glanced down at her watch for the first time that evening. "Wow! It's 2:30. I had no idea it was this late. I need to get home and let you get some sleep."
Bill stood up. "I don't like the idea of you driving home this late. Let me follow you and make sure you get in safely."
"That isn't necessary, Bill. I'll be fine." Karen assured him.
Bill shook his head as he crossed the room and opened a desk drawer. He pulled out his service revolver and a shoulder holster. "I won't sleep until I know you're home safe."
"That's so sweet of you," Karen whispered, her voice quivering slightly. She could feel her eyes fill with tears, the sudden wave of emotion taking her by surprise. She turned quickly hoping that Bill wouldn't notice.
"Hey," he said softly as he came up behind her and touched her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Karen nodded but said nothing, still looking away.
"No, you're not. Come here," he whispered as he turned her gently by the shoulder and pulled her into his arms.
"I'm so sorry," Karen cried. "I don't know what came over me." She frantically wiped away tears and tried to take a step backwards but Bill's embrace was firm. "I'll be fine in a minute."
"Karen, it's alright. We've had a terrible week. We saw acts of terrorism and treason that no one ever imagined would happen. We've worked an insane number of hours and you admitted to me earlier that you haven't been sleeping. If you weren't showing any emotion I'd be worried about you."
"I usually can control it," Karen sobbed. "This is so embarrassing. I'm usually so in control."
"You don't have to be some emotionless government bureaucrat, Karen. Not for me. Maybe you need to show that face to your employees, but you don't need to do it for me."
Bill's arms were still around her and Karen couldn't help enjoying the feeling. One hand pressed lightly into the small of her back while the other one was at the base of her neck, holding her head softly against his chest. His fingers were entwined in her hair. Karen finally relaxed and allowed herself to revel in the feeling of being cared for.
"Thank you," she said softly. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that. I've tried to be cool and indifferent for so many years, that sometimes I think I've lost any right to feel any emotion. You just reminded me that I'm human." Karen pulled away slightly so that she could look up at Bill. Their eyes met and locked for a long second before they both leaned forward to kiss.
The first soft kiss was followed by a second and a third. Soon the kisses were long and slow and deep. Quiet groans were the only sound in the room. Neither knew how long they kissed, nor did they care, but they both knew that they didn't want to part company.
"Karen, I don't quite know how to say this and I don't want to sound like I'm coming on to you, but I'm not sure that I want you to leave tonight," Bill said softly, his arms still around her. "I understand how that sounds," he stammered a bit. "And I don't want it to sound that way. I have a guest room if you would like. I just want to know that you're some place close by. I… I can't explain it."
"Don't try and explain it," she said putting a forefinger against his lips to silence him.
Bill closed his eyes and kissed her finger.
"Would it make you feel better if I told you that I feel the same way? I don't want to go home. I want to stay here. I'm way too tired to be a decent lover to you tonight, Bill, but I want to sleep next to you, if that's okay with you."
"It's more than 'okay'. That's what I want, too." They kissed again for a few seconds and then broke the kiss only to stare into each other's eyes. "What happens in the morning?"
"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it," Karen suggested. "We're both consenting adults, Bill," she reminded him. "We just need to be mature enough to keep whatever happens here out of the workplace."
Bill nodded in agreement and wordlessly led her to his bedroom. "What can I get you to sleep in?" he asked just a little bit sheepishly.
"How about a tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts?" Karen suggested while keeping her own eyes slightly downcast.
"That's easy," Bill answered. "That's what I usually wear." He opened a dresser drawer and produced a neatly folded tee shirt followed by an equally neatly folded pair of boxer shorts. "Let me get you a robe, too," he said as he handed the clothes to her and moved to the closet.
Finally armed with towels and a toothbrush and everything else she would need to get ready for bed, Karen closed the bathroom door behind her. By the time she emerged, Bill had uncovered the bed and was nervously folding the sweater he had just taken off.
"Your turn," she told him trying to sound casual as she looked at the bed. "Which side do you usually sleep on?"
"The left, but if you prefer the left side, it really doesn't matter to me."
"No, the right is fine," Karen said knowing full well how silly their conversation would have sounded to anyone else listening.
"I'll be out in a few minutes," Bill said as he entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Karen breathed a sigh of relief when he was out of sight. She took off the robe and slipped under the bedclothes. With her head on the pillow she could smell Bill's warm, musky scent. Her heart was pounding and she didn't know why. She wasn't seeing anyone steadily at the time, but she had had her fair share of male companions. There was something different about Bill. She didn't want him to become just another man in her past. He was special and he made her feel special. She wanted to make sure that they were friends for a long time and nothing put a friendship between a man and a woman in jeopardy quicker than adding sex to the mix.
Karen's thoughts were interrupted when Bill came out of the bathroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed with his back to Karen and turned off the light on the nightstand. He continued to sit there for a moment in the dark. "Karen, I don't want to make a mistake here," he said almost mirroring what she was thinking. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I'm as unsure as you are, Bill," Karen said as she sat up and moved so that she could drape her arms around his shoulders. "But if I know one thing, it's that I need someone to get me through tonight. I haven't slept in days and I know if I try to sleep alone again, I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm hoping everything will be clearer in the morning and we'll make a decision that isn't based on the emotion of the moment."
Bill turned so that he could face her. "So you think after comforting each other and sleeping together tonight that we're going to be in a position to make an objective decision in the morning?"
Karen smiled. "Probably not, but whatever decision we make, I want us to stay close. I don't want it to ruin what has already become a special friendship to me."
"I feel the same way," Bill told her as he kissed her once again. "Let's get some sleep."
Bill got under the covers beside Karen and they quickly found a comfortable position with Bill on his back and Karen curled on her side, Bill's arm around her, and her head was resting on his chest. Both were asleep in minutes.
Karen awoke feeling refreshed for the first time in days. She stretched and yawned and rolled over so that she could see the clock on the nightstand. She looked past Bill who was still sleeping to see that it was almost 2 o'clock. Very little light was filtering through the curtains and the rain on the roof indicated to her that the showers that had been predicted had arrived right on schedule. It was a wonderful day to stay in bed and an even better one if you were lucky enough to be there with someone you loved. Yes, loved. She hoped that she wasn't being premature, but the only way she could describe the way she felt about Bill Buchanan was to admit to herself that she loved him. It was something she had never felt before, not even for her ex-husband. She had cared for Richard, but she hadn't loved him.
Bill began to stir and, with eyes still closed reached out for Karen. "Good morning," he whispered.
"Good afternoon," she returned.
"Afternoon? What time is it?" he asked blinking away sleep.
"A few minutes before two."
"You're kidding! I haven't slept this long since I was in college and I spent half the night drinking. You're a bad influence on me," he teased.
"Good. You need some bad influence on your life," she teased back.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked as he propped pillows against the headboard and sat up.
Karen sat up and he pulled her close. "I don't remember the last time I slept that well. Thank you, Bill. I really needed last night."
"Don't thank me. I needed you as much as you needed me," he told her as he kissed her neck.
"Bill, I'm going to say something that I hope won't scare you away," Karen started tentatively. "I've never felt about a man the way I feel about you. Ever since I met you, the only reason that I've had to get out of bed in the morning is that I knew I'd see you during the day." She wanted to tell him that she loved him but was afraid that she would sound like a silly schoolgirl.
Bill turned her face toward his so that they were looking into each other's eyes. "That doesn't scare me, Karen. I feel the same way. I wanted so much to hate you when you walked into CTU. And I did hate you for the first few hours, but at some point we stopped working against each other and started working together and I realized how much I liked you. Even if you were there to take my job away from me, I couldn't help but like you. Since then I've found myself making excuses to see you or to talk to you and all the while I was wondering how you felt about me."
"Now that you know, are you happy?"
"Incredibly happy," he said as he drew her into his arms and they began to kiss again.
They slipped back under the covers and spent the rest of the afternoon making love. It was slow and tender and deeply passionate. By the time they finally fell back onto the pillows, wet with sweat and exhausted, the term making love had taken on new meaning for Karen.
Bill seemed to regain his senses first. Rolling toward her and propping himself up on his arm, he leaned in for yet another kiss. "You are an unbelievable lover, my dear," he told her. "I'm completely worn out and absolutely starving."
Karen knew that she was blushing. She reached up and caressed Bill's face. "I didn't know it could feel that way. I didn't know that it was supposed to feel that way. Can we just relive the last 24 hours, because they were the most amazing 24 hours of my life. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful you made me feel."
Bill smiled and let out a quiet laugh. "I got the picture."
Karen cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. "Was I that loud? I'm sorry!"
"Sorry for what? No, you weren't that loud and even if you were, it would have just turned me on more. I loved knowing that you were enjoying yourself. It took the guesswork out of it."
"Still, I could have been a little quieter," Karen said still embarrassed.
"Do me a favor. Don't change a thing. I always want to hear just what you feel."
"You know what I feel?" Karen asked him suddenly looking away and gently biting her lower lip. "I feel like I've fallen in love with you and I'm so scared that you don't feel the same way or that even if you do, that over time you'll stop feeling that way."
Bill touched her chin and turned her face toward his. "Don't be scared. I've fallen in love with you, too and I want this relationship to work more than any I've ever had. You're that important to me."
Bill and Karen cultivated their relationship over the next few weeks and by their one month anniversary, which they celebrated by going back to Zack and Charlie's, Karen felt comfortable that they had a future together.
Dinner had been wonderful and they had both just sat back to allow it to digest while they waited for dessert and coffee. Bill took an envelope from the breast pocket of his jacket and handed it across the table to Karen.
"This might sound silly," he said. "But I'm going to say it anyway. Happy one month anniversary."
"You're so sweet," Karen said as she opened the envelope expecting to find a card. "What's this?" she asked removing a brochure from the envelope. "This is a hotel in Hawaii."
"That's right. You said you've never been to Hawaii and I thought that I'd remedy that. I booked a beach front suite for us on our two month anniversary."
"Bill, you shouldn't have."
"Why not? You want to go don't you? And I happen to know that you have a ton of vacation that you're going to lose if you don't take it. So plan to take the week off and let's go."
The sensible part of Karen wanted to tell Bill that he was crazy and that she needed more time to plan and that she couldn't possibly take a week off on such short notice, but the part of her that was in love with him couldn't resist his romantic side. "It sounds wonderful," she said. "I can't wait."
They made flight reservations and before she knew it they were walking along a Hawaiian beach at sunset.
"So, how do you plan to top this?" Karen asked as she splashed playfully along the edge of the surf, the hem of her dress wet with sea water.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, let's see. We went to Zack and Charlie's for our one month anniversary and Hawaii for our two month anniversary. What do you have planned for next month? Are we booked on the space shuttle?" she laughed.
"If I had thought of that I'd have looked into it," Bill laughed in return. "No, actually though, I do have plans for our three month anniversary."
"Oh really, do you want to share them with me or do I have to wait 30 days?"
Bill stopped walking and took Karen's hands in his. "I was planning to share them with you later tonight, but since you insist, my timetable is flexible."
"Okay then, what are your plans for our three month anniversary?"
Bill closed the space between their bodies. "I thought maybe we could get married." As he said the words, he removed a diamond solitaire ring from his pocket and slipped it onto Karen's finger.
She stared at it not knowing what to say. "You're serious, aren't you?"
"I've never been more serious in my life."
"Bill, this is so sudden."
"What about our entire relationship hasn't been sudden? We love each other, Karen and, in case you haven't noticed, neither of us is getting any younger. Why should we wait? Please say yes. Please say that you'll marry me."
Karen swallowed hard and looked at the ring again. She couldn't possibly suppress the smile that was getting bigger by the second. "Yes," she whispered. "I'll marry you."
Karen floated through the rest of the evening, every so often checking her hand to make sure that the ring was really there. She went to bed that night still wearing it and when she awoke the next morning, it was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. While Bill lay sleeping, Karen moved the diamond a fraction of an inch in each direction making the sun play off of it. She was still playing with the ring, lost in her own thoughts, when Bill awoke and leaned over to kiss her bare shoulder.
"Penny for your thoughts," he said softly.
Karen smiled. "They're worth more than that, honey. I was thinking about how much I love you."
"I like it when you think those thoughts."
"Actually, I was thinking about something else, too."
"What was that?"
"About getting married."
Bill frowned. "You're changing your mind?"
"Oh, no! Of course not. It was the date I was considering."
Bill looked relieved. "Sweetheart, I don't care what the date is. I was just suggesting our three month anniversary. I didn't have that specific date carved in stone. I know it would be hard to get a wedding together in a month. Did you have a date in mind?"
"Yes, I did. I was thinking about today."
"Today?"
"Yes, today."
"You're not joking, are you?"
"No, I'm not. Bill, we both want this and all we'd have to do is get a marriage license and a couple of rings. Depending on the laws in Hawaii, we might have to wait a couple of days, but we can do it before we go home."
Bill was smiling but she could see that he still needed some convincing. "Don't you want to have some friends and family there? I wasn't thinking huge, but I was thinking a few people, a church and a nice restaurant."
"We can have a party when we get back. You've said more than once that the trip from New York to LA is too much for your father any more. This way, he won't have to make the trip. We'll go to New York for a few days and visit. Oh, Bill, think about it."
Bill's smile had turned to a quiet laugh as he pulled Karen deep into his arms. "You never cease to amaze me. Last night I wasn't so sure you were going to say yes when I proposed and now you want to get a marriage license and get married today. You win. Let's do it."
It was actually three days later before they were married by a justice of the peace in a sunny cove. Vacation was magically converted to honeymoon and Karen and Bill enjoyed every minute of it. When they got back to LA, they began settling into their new lives. Karen moved into Bill's house and rented out her condominium. They took a long weekend and flew to New York so that Karen could meet Bill's family. They were both surprised by the reaction they got from Bill's father who very honestly told Karen that he liked her and thought she was good for his middle son, but that he doubted that their marriage would work. He added that he hoped he was wrong, but he felt strongly that two such ambitious people would never find the time or energy to work on a marriage and when the initial glow wore off they simply wouldn't be able to sustain it. Karen knew that Bill was upset by his father's comments but she tried to brush them off telling herself that all that mattered was that she and Bill knew how they felt and how important their marriage was to them. Neither would let work come between them.
Only a few months had passed when Karen got a call from Wayne Palmer. He told her that he was going to run for president and asked her to be his campaign advisor on matters of national security. Karen initially said no, telling Wayne that she had recently been married and that she didn't want to take on any additional work. Wayne persisted telling her that it would not be a big time commitment. They would need to meet a couple of times and after that, all communication could be by phone or email. Besides, if he didn't do well in the early primaries, he would likely drop out of the race quickly.
Karen had known Wayne Palmer for years and liked him, but he certainly didn't have the grace or charisma of his older brother. She suspected that he would get some sympathy vote in the early primaries, but that even that would fade after the first few states and his campaign would die a natural death. So after some discussion with Bill, who agreed with her assessment of the Palmer campaign, she agreed to take on the job.
State after state and primary after primary, Wayne Palmer proved to be a formidable candidate. Opponents began to fall of midway through the primary season and by Super Tuesday, Palmer was clearly on top. He went into the July convention with more than enough votes to be named his party's candidate for the presidency.
Karen enjoyed her role in Wayne Palmer's campaign. And true to his word, Wayne had not asked Karen for an excessive amount of time. That, however, ended with the convention when the campaigning began in earnest. At that point, Karen found herself on the phone with Wayne's campaign managers or his chief-of-staff at least two to three hours every day. She would get up early, have a morning strategy session before work, spend her day at work, and then get back on the phone for a couple of hours every evening. The pace was exhausting but it worked, and Karen and Bill were at Wayne's campaign headquarters in November when he was elected by the slimmest of margins. They partied long into the night and when they finally rolled into bed, Karen thanked Bill for his support over the previous several months and promised that life would get back to normal as soon as they returned to LA. When she told him that, Karen was sincere. She loved the life they had settled into before being drafted into Wayne Palmer's run for the presidency and she wanted it back.
Bill and Karen returned to LA the day after the election and, other than needing to catch up on some sleep, they fell right back into their old routine. That lasted for about two weeks when Wayne Palmer again called Karen. This time he told her that he wanted to nominate her to be his National Security Advisor. She was flattered and thanked him repeatedly but turned down his offer. Even as she told Wayne 'no' she couldn't believe that it was coming out of her mouth. A little more than a year earlier and she would have coveted that job. Now, wanting more than anything for her young marriage to be successful, it seemed best to turn down the offer. Wayne wasn't in the mood to take no for an answer. He told Karen to consider it and that he would call back in a couple of days to discuss it.
"Karen," Bill said as they got into bed that night. "Why are you so reluctant to take this position? You've worked for this your entire life. I don't understand why you're saying no. It's the chance of a lifetime."
"Because I want us more than I want the job. I want to be with you and for us to be successful. I've finally started to cut down some of the hours I work. As National Security Advisor, I would be working 15 or 16 hours a day. We can't sustain a marriage on that, Bill."
"We can if that's what we agree to."
"That's not what we agreed to when we got married."
"I know, but things have changed. This offer wasn't on the table when we got married."
"So what are you saying? I should take the job and you'll transfer to Washington or Virginia and we'll move there?"
"I didn't say anything about moving. I can't see myself as the husband who gets a transfer because of his well connected wife. I can stay here and you go to Washington. We'll see each other as often as possible. Lots of couple live that way and are very successful at it."
Karen turned and gave him a hurt look. "Are you trying to get rid of me?"
"Not at all, sweetheart. I love you. I just want to make sure that you don't look back on this in a couple of years and regret it. You can try and tell Wayne Palmer that you don't want the job, but I know you better than that. You do want the job."
"You're serious about this, aren't you?"
"I haven't been this serious about anything since I proposed to you. You would be a great National Security Advisor. This country needs you. Wayne's administration needs you. You proved during the campaign that you're the only one who will go up against Tom Lennox."
Karen finally smiled for the first time that evening. Bill was right. She wanted the job and she hated Tom Lennox. She hated the amount of pull Tom had over Wayne Palmer and she wanted to be there to keep him from driving his own agenda.
"So when Wayne calls and asks for my decision, it's okay with you if I say yes?"
"It's more than okay. I want you to take the job. This is an incredible achievement. I'm so proud of you and I love you so much," Bill said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
Day 6
6:52 am Los Angeles (9:52 am Washington D.C.)
As Karen gazed down at her wedding ring in the middle of a terrorist attack, it seemed like 100 years since Bill had talked her into taking this position. It felt as though she had been battling Tom Lennox forever and that she'd never find herself back in Bill's warm, loving embrace. On top of it, she had begun to fear for her marriage. Was Bill's father right all along? Was it really impossible for the two of them to be successful?
As much as she wanted to, Karen knew that she didn't have the luxury of thinking about all of this right now. She glanced at her watch. It was 9:52 in Washington and she should have heard from Bill by now. She left the Oval Office and stepped out into the corridor to call him.
"Bill," she said as soon as he answered. It immediately crossed her mind that they had not exchanged any sort of pleasantries. "The President's worried. Fayed should have contacted us by now."
"There may be a problem," Bill started to explain. "There's a possibility Fayed may be going back on the deal."
Karen was stunned as Bill told her that Chloe had tried to track Jack using a satellite and Fayed had caught her. "Dammit, Bill! She's your responsibility!" she said angrily into the phone.
Bill stayed calm but his voice was edgy as he reminded her that he didn't need a lecture. Karen tried to apologize and Bill brushed it off telling her that she didn't need to apologize. By the time Karen got off the phone it took all of her self control not to cry. She would never admit it out loud, but the combination of the terrorist attacks, battling Tom Lennox and missing Bill was getting to her.
Karen knew that she couldn't take the time to feel sorry for herself. She composed herself quickly and returned to the Oval Office only to watch in horror as this day that had begun badly spiraled further and further down hill. It was several hours and multiple strained phone calls with Bill before Karen had a moment to really catch her breath. She sat reading new intel reports that Bill had faxed to her. She was so focused on the reports that she didn't realize that she was alone with the president in the Oval Office.
Wayne Palmer stood and stretched his long legs. "I need more coffee," he said and he leaned over toward the intercom to call his assistant. "Karen, did you want coffee?" He waited for a response but when it didn't come, he said her name again. "Karen?"
The sound of her name brought Karen back to the moment. "I'm, ah, I'm sorry, Mr. President. Did you have a question?"
"Yes," he said kindly. "I asked if you could use some coffee."
"That would be great," she said trying unsuccessfully to smile.
The coffee was delivered a few minutes later. Wayne dismissed his assistant who had begun to pour the coffee. He poured his own coffee and stirred two spoonfuls of sugar in it. He then poured Karen's coffee and carried it to the table where she was sitting.
"Just cream, right?" he asked as he pointed to the cup.
"That's right. Thank you, Mr. President," Karen said gratefully as she looked back to her work.
"Karen, is something wrong?"
"This hasn't been a good day for any of us, Mr. President."
"No, not Mr. President, Karen. This is Wayne talking to you, your old friend Wayne. And it seems to your old friend that today has affected you more than it has the rest of my staff."
"I'm sorry, sir. I'll try and stay more focused," Karen said quickly.
"Stop, Karen. You're plenty focused. You're doing your job in the middle of a crisis well above anyone's expectations, but I know you well enough to know that you aren't acting like yourself. What's wrong?"
Karen stood and walked a few steps away. She looked out a window for a moment before speaking. "Mr. President, I can't do this any more. When these attacks are over, I'm going to submit my resignation."
"Your resignation! Karen, you can't make a decision this important on a day as emotional and tense as this one has been. Wait until this is all over and then take some time and consider your options."
"I'll do that if you like, Mr. President, but I don't think I'll change my mind. It's not just the terrorist attacks and the stress and tension over that last eleven weeks. It's what's happening to my personal life the worries me. I haven't seen my husband in three months and on the phone we've become distant and cold. I can't remember the last time one of us said 'I love you.' I wanted this job more than anything in the world and when you offered it to me, I hesitated because I was afraid of what it would do to my marriage. Bill talked me into it. He was afraid that I'd regret it if I didn't take the job. Well, I've had the job for the last three months and what I regret is ever saying yes and leaving LA. I need to go back there before the damage to my marriage is irreparable. "
"Karen, I'm sorry," Wayne said sincerely. "When I offered you the position, I never thought that I'd be creating such a problem for you. All I knew was that you were the best person for the job. I never wanted my administration to come between you and Bill. I don't want you to resign, but you have to do whatever is best for you and Bill."
"Thank you, Mr. President."
The intercom on the president's desk buzzed interrupting their conversation. "Mr. President, I have your sister on line three."
"Thank you, Ruth. Put her through to my private line, please."
Karen left the Oval Office so that Wayne could talk privately to his sister. She found herself suddenly relaxed and calmer than she'd been in a long time. Her decision was made. As soon as the attacks stopped, she would tender her resignation citing family concerns. She would agree to stay on until a replacement could be appointed and then she would move back to LA. The thought brought a smile to her face. She stepped into a quiet corridor and pulled out her phone.
"Buchanan," was the stern response from 3000 miles away.
"Hey, it's me," she returned. "Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"Nothing. I just needed to talk to you. I just spoke with the president and I told him that after we get through this crisis I'm submitting a letter of resignation."
"Karen, you're kidding me. Why would you resign?" Bill asked incredulously. "You've only been in the position for three months."
"I can't stand it anymore, Bill," she said as her voice started to quiver. "I love you and I miss you and I just want us to be together."
Bill's voice softened considerably. "Honey, I miss you, too. Let's talk this over. Maybe there's a compromise. I know that I didn't want to move to Washington, but if that would be a better solution, then I'm all for it."
"That's not going to solve anything, Bill. This job is all consuming and I don't want to be consumed by work any more. I did that for the last 25 years and I want it to stop. I just want us and I want us to be together."
"Karen, you've waited a lifetime for this position. You've worked for years to get where you are today."
"I've waited a lifetime for you, too. The job is easy to give up but I don't want to give you up. I've thought about it, Bill. This is the right thing for me to do."
"I love you, sweetheart," Bill said gently. Karen could hear the change in his voice. He was relieved and smiling. She couldn't help but smile, too.
"I love you, too," she returned. "Unfortunately, I've got to go. We're meeting with the president again in a few minutes and I'd like to freshen up. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
They disconnected and Karen slipped the phone back into her pocket. She leaned heavily against the wall behind her and sighed. How life had changed! Only 20 months earlier she would never have imagined that a man would come between her and her work or that he could steal her heart so completely, but he had and nothing could possibly make her happier. His love made her whole and complete. At the end of the day, it was his love that she wanted more than anything. Knowing that she would soon be back in his arms gave Karen a reason to go forward and face whatever else the terrorists decided to throw her way.
Thanks again for reading. Like I said at the start, I'm not sure how much interest a Bill/Karen story will generate. I wrote one several months ago and found that it was well received so I decided to try it again. Since I'm a hopeless romantic and the 24 writers are not, I find myself fearing for my new favorite couple. Past experience tells me that the writers just hate to see anyone happy on the show, so death or divorce seems imminent for this couple. I decided to put a happy spin on their relationship before the show's writers could kill it.
A/N Addendum: This story was originally posted 1/29/07 approximately 12 hours prior to the airing of episode 6 X 6 in the US. Any similarity to events as they occurred on that episode are purely coincidental. I had no prior knowledge of the storyline.